The Doctor said I Have to be A Kept Man - Chapter 13

“Let’s just forget that sentence ever happened. It was off,” Chi Ruanfan said, running a hand through his hair and avoiding Jin Zhu’s gaze.

Why hadn’t he noticed that weird “plus or minus” phrasing before? Jin Zhu probably thought he was some kind of freak now. He deeply regretted his life choices.

“The numbers were wrong?” Jin Zhu asked, a hint of a smile in his eyes as his gaze drifted downward.

“Of course they were, no! I mean the ‘plus or minus’ part! The logic was wrong!” Chi Ruanfan spoke hurriedly, but then he caught where Jin Zhu was looking. His body stiffened, and he instantly bristled. “Where exactly are you looking?!”

“Huh?” Lin Huo, sitting on Chi Ruanfan’s other side, thought they were talking to him. He turned around quickly. “I’m just browsing the shop. The new skin for Ice Arrow is gorgeous. Look at those long legs.”

Without even turning his head, Chi Ruanfan said coldly, “Not talking to you. A skin won’t save your KDA, but positioning will. Go practice your footwork.”

Lin Huo: “…Oh.”

Having dismissed the interloper, Chi Ruanfan went back to staring down Jin Zhu.

“Ahem,” Jin Zhu cleared his throat. Seeing that Chi Ruanfan looked ready to initiate a real-life PK, he simply said, “Your phone is about to fall out.”

Chi Ruanfan looked down and saw his phone sliding halfway out of his jacket pocket.

“…”

That’s what he was looking at?

Chi Ruanfan shoved the phone back into his pocket, then thought better of it, pulled it out, and slammed it onto the desk.

“What did Xiao Ruan think I was looking at?” Jin Zhu asked innocently.

Obviously… Chi Ruanfan didn’t say a word. He turned back to his monitor and opened the browser.

The sound of rhythmic typing echoed beside him. While Chi Ruanfan was still fumbling with keywords, a chat box popped up, it was a message from Jin Zhu.

[The minimum distance in human interaction is ‘Intimate Distance.’ The close range is within 15cm, typically occurring between family, best friends, or lovers. I know Xiao Ruan considers me a very good friend.]

Chi Ruanfan: “…You knew?” He knew the actual definition of the range.

Jin Zhu: “Mn.”

“No ‘plus or minus’?” Chi Ruanfan asked.

Thinking of Chi Ruanfan’s “plus or minus fifteen-centimeter best friend” theory, Jin Zhu paused and said, “No.”

Chi Ruanfan gritted his teeth. “Open a room. 1v1, right now!”

You knew the whole time and purposefully teased me. You’re finished.

“What does Xiao Ruan want to play?” Jin Zhu asked with exceptional patience.

“Bring out your Wind Assassin,” Chi Ruanfan said. He scrolled through his hero list, realized he didn’t own the character yet, navigated to the shop, and bought it instantly. “I’m not leaving this room tonight until I’ve crushed you into a pulp.”

Lin Huo, seeing Chi Ruanfan purchase the Wind Assassin, felt a bit pained for him. “Brother Chi, stay calm. Wind Assassin is Captain Jin’s signature hero. You might be the one begging for mercy in a bit.”

“I’m specifically targeting his signature hero,” Chi Ruanfan declared.

Jin Zhu never underestimated any of Chi Ruanfan’s picks, but he held absolute confidence in his own Wind Assassin. They entered the lobby, and both locked in the same character.

Jin Zhu asked beforehand, “How does Xiao Ruan want me to beg for mercy?”

Chi Ruanfan thought for a moment. “The Wind Assassin has a ‘kneeling’ emote.” The rest went unsaid. Kneeling for mercy, everyone understood.

Jin Zhu glanced sideways at him. “Deal.”

Zhaoxing and Chaoyang’s impression of Chi Ruanfan was still stuck at “strong marksman, seemingly strong mage.” Hearing him challenge the King of the Jungle to a 1v1, they couldn’t help but lean in to watch.

“Maybe you should stick to Marksman or Mid,” Chaoyang whispered, leaning over. “Even if it’s a bad matchup against a Wind Assassin, it’s better than forcing a pick you don’t know… uh, too late.”

The countdown ended, and the game loaded. From the start, Chi Ruanfan maneuvered his Wind Assassin straight into Jin Zhu’s Red jungle, catching him mid-buff. At Level 1, neither had the burst to kill the other; they could only trade blows and poke.

“Wait… he’s actually pulling it off?” Chaoyang was surprised.

“Captain Jin’s mechanics are as surgical as always, but Brother Chi’s positioning is insane. He dodged three Wind Blades in a row.” Lin Huo was envious. “If I had that footwork, would I even be scared of a jungler diving me?”

After several exchanges, though no kills had occurred, Jin Zhu’s health was dropping faster. Jin Zhu was internally shocked; his health was in the danger zone. If Chi Ruanfan landed two more skills, Jin Zhu would have to give up First Blood.

Checking the minion wave in the mid lane, Jin Zhu chose to retreat under his tower and rotate to the lane to farm. Chi Ruanfan didn’t chase. He finished the Red Buff first, then headed mid.

The moment Chi Ruanfan appeared, Jin Zhu backed off, but Chi Ruanfan dove straight into the tower. It was a life-for-a-life playstyle. Relying on the buff’s damage bonus, Chi Ruanfan forcibly killed Jin Zhu’s Wind Assassin, though he fell to the tower’s final shot immediately after.

[Chaoge-Chi Fou (Wind Assassin) killed Chaoge-Jin Yi (Wind Assassin) – First Blood!] [Chaoge-Jin Yi (Wind Assassin) killed Chaoge-Chi Fou (Wind Assassin).]

“Again,” Chi Ruanfan’s battle intent was high. He respawned and headed straight for the mid lane.

Ten minutes later, Chi Ruanfan had three deaths, while Jin Zhu had six. Chi Ruanfan destroyed the mid-lane Tier 1 tower. While Jin Zhu was still waiting to respawn, Chi Ruanfan took the Blue Buff and a few jungle camps. As he was rotating back to lane, Jin Zhu’s Wind Assassin dashed straight toward him.

“Huh?” Chi Ruanfan was surprised. Jin Zhu was behind in levels and gold, how did he dare to initiate a head-on fight?

Chi Ruanfan readied his skills to dodge and counter-attack. Instead, Jin Zhu’s Wind Assassin stopped three character-lengths away and slowly bowed down.

Chi Ruanfan, who had almost flashed out of his skin, blinked. “…Begging for mercy?”

“Mn,” Jin Zhu replied. The gap was clear; he could afford to lose.

Jin Zhu lowered his eyes. He knew nothing about Chi Ruanfan’s Wind Assassin, yet Chi Ruanfan seemed to know him like the back of his hand. Tiny habits Jin Zhu hadn’t even noticed himself were clear as day to the other man, who used them to deliver the killing blow.

“Brother Chi, use that emote too! Bow back!” Lin Huo encouraged him.

“Fine, let me see.” Chi Ruanfan never bullied people to the point of no return. Since Jin Zhu conceded, he had to respond. He used his points to buy the kneeling emote and clicked it.

“Wait, those emotes interact if two people use them.” Lin Huo’s voice trailed off. On the screen, both Wind Assassins bowed simultaneously. Two red glows extended from behind them, intertwining above their heads to form a heart shape before exploding into fireworks.

“This emote has an interaction?” Chi Ruanfan stared at the screen. Why did a “kneeling for mercy” emote turn into a display of affection?

Lin Huo laughed. “Otherwise, why would it be called the ‘Ceremonial Bow’?”

Chi Ruanfan: “…I thought this emote was called ‘Kneeling for Mercy’?”

Lin Huo choked. “For a ‘single dog,’ it’s definitely ‘Kneeling for Mercy’.”

“Oh—” Chi Ruanfan drawled. “I’ve learned something new!”

Jin Zhu looked up. “What did you learn?”

“Next Valentine’s Day, we can use this to torment the ‘single dogs.’ We’ll change our relationship status to ‘Couple,’ and every time we kill someone, we’ll bow over their corpse,” Chi Ruanfan laughed, sharing his brilliant idea with Jin Zhu.

Every year brought Valentine’s and Qixi. To avoid being tormented as a single person, one had to proactively become a “couple” and do the tormenting. In his previous life, he and Jin Zhu had this status, but since he was reborn, their “couple” bond hadn’t appeared yet.

The training room was full of single players. Hearing Chi Ruanfan, they were either enlightened or deep in thought.

“I’ve learned a lot,” Lin Huo lamented. “Brother Chi knows how to play. We might not have girlfriends, but who doesn’t have brothers? Let’s set it up.”

“What do you think?” Chi Ruanfan winked at Jin Zhu.

Jin Zhu was silent for a moment before saying, “Mn. Let’s set it up.”

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