The Beautiful Cannon Fodder Coveted by the Protagonist - Chapter 10

Host, please stay in character. 031’s voice had turned cold. Zhou Zhou had finally figured this system out; it could joke around when there were no active tasks, but the moment a mission was triggered, it became as icy as a machine without a pulse.

Looking at Shanda devouring the porridge, Zhou Zhou already had his excuse ready. He mentally shut the system up.

He knocked the porridge over himself. I’m just making him eat the ‘dirty’ food—isn’t that enough to maintain my persona? Also, you haven’t explained the task you just issued. What do you mean by ‘warm the bed’? It’s not nearly cold enough to need a human space heater.

This is the plot point. I am merely issuing the mission.

What a rigid system. It seemed this AI had a boss too.

Shanda lifted the bowl, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed the last drop. “Not a single bit left.”

He showed the empty bowl to Zhou Zhou with a goofy grin. “All gone. Thanks, Zhou Zhou. The porridge was delicious.”

Zhou Zhou pulled his attention away from the noisy mechanical voice in his head. Shanda’s bright blue eyes were fixed on him, his face still flushed with a feverish dampness.

“Get some rest. I’m going to the bathroom.” Zhou Zhou chose to retreat into the bathroom to battle it out with 031.

As his slender figure disappeared, Shanda licked a salty, thick drop from his lip. “Zhou… truly delicious.”

Host, this is not logical.

Before the system could finish, Zhou Zhou interrupted. “It’s all part of the plan. Besides, it’s only the beginning of September. You want Shanda to warm my bed? Do you think you’re being logical?”

The system went silent, emitting a “bzzzt” static sound as if receiving a signal. Sure enough, it began to recite the lore.

In this segment of the plot, the male lead holds a grudge because you made him stand in the rain until he caught a fever. He intentionally wets your bedding. When you discover this, you order him to wash it, but since you have no spare linens, the male lead offers his own. You humiliate him for being poor and, citing the ‘cold weather,’ force him to warm the bed for you. In reality, while he glares at you with resentment, you swagger out of the dorm to spend the night at a hotel.

“Yikes,” Zhou Zhou knit his brows and bit his lip. “Who wrote this? Logically, if my bed got wet, I’d just call my family to bring a new set and go stay elsewhere. Forcing this ‘bullying’ plot feels like a massive drop in IQ.”

His critique was fair, but the system didn’t care.

You are doing it on purpose, of course. You went through all that trouble specifically to bully the male lead.

Ridiculous logic.

Zhou Zhou rubbed his temples. “But like you said, Shanda didn’t pour water on my bed. I don’t have an excuse to make things difficult for him.”

031 went silent again.

However, Zhou Zhou had an idea.

“I’ve got it. If the enemy won’t move, I will.” Zhou Zhou snapped his fingers, his eyes brightening. “System, this was your oversight. If I complete the mission, you owe me compensation.”

After a few days of observation, Zhou Zhou had become an expert at playing the system.

The system yielded. 【What do you want?】

Zhou Zhou stroked his chin, pretending to think, though his ulterior motives were glaringly obvious.

Cancel the electrocution? No, if you don’t complete the tasks properly, I’ll still shock you.

Rejected by the system, Zhou Zhou clicked his tongue. “Then what can you give me?”

I have a ‘Thousand-Mile Teleportation Charm.’ Once triggered, it randomly teleports the user anywhere within a thousand-mile radius of their current location.

Zhou Zhou’s expression shifted instantly; his eyes lit up. “Good system! What was your name again?”

031.

“Professor 031, please forgive my earlier rudeness. I accept this mission. Please, you must give me that charm.” Zhou Zhou’s attitude turned deadly serious. This was a life-saving item. If the male lead actually tried to kill him later, this could save his hide at the crucial moment.

The bathroom door opened. Shanda, who had been resting his head on his desk, looked up. Their eyes met.

Zhou Zhou paused for a second before walking straight to his desk to grab a bottle of water.

Sorry about this, man.

With the grim determination of a martyr, he climbed the ladder with the water bottle. The movement caught Shanda’s attention. His voice sounded a bit better than before, though it was still raspy. “Going to sleep?”

“Yeah.” Zhou Zhou scrambled into bed, planning his big performance.

It was time to test his acting skills. It was all or nothing.

He adjusted his curtains, leaving just enough of a gap to see Shanda’s bed. He calculated his move, deciding to “secretly” pour the water onto Shanda’s bed.

This time, the system didn’t nag or threaten him with electricity. That was the power of Zhou Zhou’s silver tongue.

Zhou Zhou loosened the cap of the water bottle and balanced it precariously on the gap between his bed and the one opposite. Then, he opened a horror movie recap video, letting the comment section cover the screen while he peeked out from the bottom of his phone.

About three or four minutes later.

A blood-curdling scream followed by a loud thud erupted from the top bunk.

Zhou Zhou sat on his bed, looking helpless. He yanked back all the curtains separating him from Shanda. Just as he was about to feign shock, he found a pair of burning eyes already staring at him.

Shanda’s lips were tightly pursed. Zhou Zhou felt a jolt of alarm. When did he get there? Did he see what I did?

After a silent standoff, Shanda moved first. His eyelashes fluttered as he looked down at the dark, soaked patch on his bed. “It’s wet.” Then, his blue eyes flicked back to Zhou Zhou, as if trying to read his soul.

Like a rabbit cornered by a leopard, Zhou Zhou felt the atmosphere grow cold. His rehearsed lines came out stilted. “The… the horror movie scared me… uh…”

Meanwhile, his phone, lying at the foot of his bed, was clearly flashing a gaming video.

“Anyway, I was scared! Believe what you want…”

“I believe you.” Shanda’s gaze was intense, never leaving Zhou Zhou’s face.

Even though Zhou Zhou was used to being the center of attention as a performer, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of fear under Shanda’s gaze.

Even the best violinist has moments where they fall apart.

Shanda’s immediate acceptance made Zhou Zhou feel awkward. He quickly grabbed his phone and started looking for nearby hotels.

To his horror, it was as if the entire city had glitched—not a single decent hotel had a vacancy. Maybe some grimy, unlicensed guesthouse had a room, but Zhou Zhou refused to go there.

A figure moved in his peripheral vision. Shanda picked up his quilt and started heading down.

Zhou Zhou instinctively asked, “Where are you going?”

“To wash the sheets.” Shanda tossed the quilt onto his chair and climbed back up.

Host, your mission. If you don’t get the male lead to warm the bed in the next three minutes, I will initiate punishment mode.

Zhou Zhou’s head was spinning. He barely realized he’d shouted the words: “Sleep in my bed!”

Shanda’s hand, which had been pulling at the sheets, froze in mid-air. He asked blankly, “Sleep… with you?”

Zhou Zhou nodded. “Yeah, sleep in mine. You can’t dry those sheets tonight anyway. I’ll call a housekeeping service to bring you new ones tomorrow.”

He had expected Shanda to be difficult to convince, but after hearing the offer, the man just stared at his face for three seconds before happily changing direction. He abandoned his half-stripped bed and climbed directly into Zhou Zhou’s bunk.

The bedboards groaned under the sudden, massive weight.

Shanda’s handsome face was suddenly so close that Zhou Zhou took a sharp breath, his wide eyes looking a bit dazed.

“You said it. Let me sleep here.”

Zhou Zhou’s heart felt like it had been zapped. Did the system secretly shock me again?

Zhou Zhou, aren’t you happy the mission is complete? Progress: 18%. We’re getting closer to success.

Zhou Zhou was sitting at his desk below, looking like he was carrying the weight of the world as he scrolled through his phone. He whispered a protest: “What do you know? I wanted to go out! Do you see any place within a hundred miles where I can stay?”

Every hotel he checked was fully booked. Even the hourly “love hotels” were full.

Zhou Zhou scratched his hair, nearly biting his lower lip until it bled.

Then use the teleportation charm now. Maybe you’ll land in a hotel.

“No way.” He’d worked too hard to get that life-saving item; he couldn’t just waste it. Worst case scenario, he’d just sleep in his chair all night.

As he made his silent resolution, the sound of the door unlocking echoed. The chubby and thin roommates were back.

“Shanda, how’s the fever?” Zuo Zhu’s loud voice boomed as the door opened.

Zhou Zhou had forgotten—there was still a giant human being in his bed.

And so, a very bizarre scene unfolded.

“Why are you in Zhou Zhou’s bed?” Chen Yuqi flinched as he saw a glowing, healthy face poke out from Zhou Zhou’s bed curtains.

Zuo Zhu let out a “Holy crap!” and immediately whipped out his phone.

A moment later, Chen Yuqi’s phone vibrated twice.

Zuo Zhu: Get outside with me. Now.

The door closed, leaving only Zhou Zhou and Shanda.

Outside, Zuo Zhu whispered frantically, “I told you! There’s definitely something going on! Look at him, he’s already climbed into Zhou Zhou’s bed!”

Chen Yuqi: “Uh…”

Zuo Zhu: “Holy crap, holy crap! Should we have stayed out tonight? I feel like I’m walking into something… wait, holy crap, aftercare?!”

Chen Yuqi: “Uh…”

Zuo Zhu was so anxious he grabbed Chen Yuqi by the arms and shook him. “Stop saying ‘uh’! I’m serious! Do you think… before we got back… was Zhou Zhou the one on top? No, with that ‘little chili’ personality, I’m betting Shanda’s on top.” Zuo Zhu shuddered at the memory of Shanda’s face just now. “It was so intense they had to switch beds? Should we just go sleep at a hotel tonight?”

“Uh.”

Inside, Zhou Zhou wanted the floor to swallow him whole. The muffled voices from outside the door drilled into his brain. How could he have forgotten he had two other roommates? It was over. How was he supposed to explain this? He was just completing a mission, he wasn’t trying to ravish the male lead!

The more he thought about it, the hotter his face became.

Suddenly, it went quiet outside. Then!

“Holy crap! What’s going on? Even the hourly hotels are full!”

Zhou Zhou gave a mirthless smile. Heh. Obviously. If I couldn’t get one, what makes you think you can?

The lock turned again. Zuo Zhu slunk back in, looking very timid, while Chen Yuqi followed, looking relatively calm as if nothing had happened.

“Uh, so… we didn’t see anything.”

Just as Zhou Zhou was about to try and brush it off, a voice from above spoke with a tone of deep satisfaction.

“Yeah. I’m sleeping in his bed tonight.”

Three pairs of eyes snapped toward him. Before the first wave of shock could settle, another hit. Zhou Zhou stood up abruptly, staring at the bedboards above him, his heart feeling like it was about to burst out of his chest.

“Zhou Zhou accidentally got my bed wet. I can’t sleep there.”

Shanda’s clarification made Zhou Zhou relax slightly. He turned to agree, only to find the expressions of his two roommates were even more peculiar. Zuo Zhu’s mouth was hanging open wide enough to fit a fist.

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