Still Secretly In Love With My Enemy Today - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Xie Huaishuang sat at the edge of the bed. After a moment of silence, he shook his head.

“Thank you.”

He withdrew his hand and placed it back on his knee.

I was first stunned by this display of politeness—something I hadn’t seen from him in ten years—and then my brows furrowed. What on earth did he want to stay in this place for?

I had seen the wounds on his arms clearly; I could easily imagine what the rest of him looked like. If any random person could bully him to this extent, what kind of torment would he endure if left alone in Linlang Pavilion?

How could this man be… so detestable and unpredictable at every turn?

“What is there in this place for you to be attached to?” I couldn’t understand it. “Besides, if I were to take you away by force right now, what could you possibly do about it?”

Xie Huaishuang lowered his eyes. When he spoke, his voice was flat, devoid of emotion: “You can try.”

I was so angry I was speechless.

He was right. Even in his current state, I truly didn’t dare. This man’s methods were eccentric; I honestly didn’t know what he would do if I forced him. Hurting others, hurting himself—he was truly capable of anything.

But I wouldn’t let him have his way. I grabbed his hand and, with a trace of irritation, wrote quickly on his palm: “Then I’m staying.”

“As long as you are here for a day, I will be here for a day.”

Xie Huaishuang revealed that confused expression again. His gaze wandered blankly back and forth, and a few strands of hair slid from his shoulder, landing on my hand.

“Why?”

He had the nerve to ask me? I wanted to ask him!

“And why are you insisting on staying in this hellhole?”

Xie Huaishuang’s lips moved, but no words came out. After a long pause, he simply shook his head.

“There is no need for you to know.”

Before I could say anything else, he used a bit of force to pull his right hand back.

I didn’t know what he was planning. I watched him think in silence for a long time until he turned slightly, reaching one hand under the pillow to fumble for something.

He pulled out a semi-worn, turquoise sword tassel. I recognized it at a glance.

The “Green Chalice” jade pendant with twin tassels—it had belonged to his silver-bright longsword. Just looking at it made my breathing quicken involuntarily.

Xie Huaishuang took the tassel and slowly stroked it in his hand for a moment before sitting up straight again.

He was likely used to only ever looking down upon others. I raised my eyes from the tassel to find his gaze lowered; in the dim, flickering lamplight, he sat like a faded divine statue.

He fumbled to place the sword tassel into my hand.

Because his vision was poor, his grip wasn’t steady, and he let go before I had it. It nearly hit the floor, but I caught it.

“This is my own possession.” He lowered his eyes, his voice still fluctuating in volume because he couldn’t hear. “If you… then just take it.”

“For tonight… thank you.”

The light was dim, and the turquoise was dim as well. It rested in my palm, hanging without support, disappearing into the shadows.

I had truly once thought that once I defeated the despicable High Priest, this sword tassel would be my trophy. I would hang it by my bed where I could see it the moment I opened my eyes—a day-and-night reminder of my victory over him.

And now, I had actually gotten it—attained so easily. But why wasn’t I happy at all? Why did my chest feel even tighter instead?

“Is that it? …Go. This is no place for you to linger.”

I looked up, meeting his eyes that were like deep, waveless pools of emerald water.

I had studied him for ten years. I had pondered his moves, his thoughts, and every tiny action over and over.

Usually, he valued that sword as much as his own life. Now, he was tossing away something tied to his past so lightly, handing it over to some random passerby he hadn’t even seen.

Why would he do that?

Half of Xie Huaishuang’s face was veiled in shadow. I didn’t dare think too deeply. Suddenly, a wave of grievance mixed with anger, fear, and emotions I couldn’t name surged up, sour and bitter.

By what right? Did he have my permission?

“This is your thing—it will be yours no matter how much time passes. Don’t give it to me.” I shoved the tassel back into his hand, writing faster and faster in his palm: “I don’t want anything. And I’m not leaving.”

Whether he wanted to leave or not was something I couldn’t control—so by what right could he control me?

“You… don’t want it?”

Xie Huaishuang was perplexed after I forced the tassel back on him. He gripped the tassel, dazed for a moment, then frowned. “Why stay here?” He thought for a bit, then gestured. “It costs money.”

If it costs money, then let it cost money. Money can be earned again, but if something happened to Xie Huaishuang, then…

Then what?

I froze. He was my arch-rival. If something happened to him, wouldn’t that be a great thing for me?

My fingertips paused in his palm. I didn’t just fail to understand him now; I failed to understand myself.

…

When I returned quickly, I saw that Xie Huaishuang was indeed sitting there honestly, exactly as I had told him to, waiting for me.

I closed the door, pulled back the curtain, and saw him turn toward my direction as he sensed movement.

“I paid the money,” I wrote on his hand. “For this month, no one but me will come. And you can’t drive me away.”

Xie Huaishuang’s brow furrowed slightly, appearing quite puzzled. “What exactly… are you trying to do?”

I told you this man was detestable. I had emptied my coin purse, yet I couldn’t even get a single kind word in return.

I felt I should be mourning my spent banknotes right now, but inexplicably, the only thing circling in my mind were the madam’s words.

The madam, who had originally threatened to report me to the authorities, became a complete amnesiac regarding tonight’s events once she took the money. Counting the cash, she said something about ten taels a night—as long as I didn’t “break his body,” because he was to be sold for a high price later. Anything else was fine.

Anything else.

—What did “anything else” mean?

I avoided looking at his insufferable face and tentatively lifted his sleeve. I felt him reflexively flinch back, his other hand gripping the edge of the bed tightly, green veins winding beneath his scars.

“I brought medicine,” I wrote. “Let me see. I’ll just take a look.”

Xie Huaishuang hesitated for a long time, but his tense fingertips finally relaxed slightly—just a little. I took a deep breath, hooked his sleeve, and rolled it up a bit.

From shock, to a dead stop, to my fingertips visibly trembling—the sleeve was only rolled to his elbow, and I already couldn’t bear to look further.

His skin was as thin as rice paper, a pale white that faded into blue. It was splashed with a mess of brown, purple, and red. On his left forearm near the elbow was a fresh wound, appearing as though someone had pinched him with great force; it was still seeping blood.

Anything else.

The ugly trash I had bound with iron chains was still tossed in the corner of the room, not yet awake. Reciting those words in my head, I spared him another glance.

Xie Huaishuang remained silent. Perhaps because I had been staring too long, his fingers moved. I retracted my gaze and asked him: “Does it hurt?”

He started to nod, then shook his head. No emotion could be seen on his face.

I pulled back my hand, and the moon-white gauze fell once more to hide those marks.

“Wait for me.”

He sat quietly and motionless again. I brought back some warm water, tested the temperature, and took a clean cloth from my robe to dampen and wring out.

The moment the cloth touched his new wound, he flinched back again, though with less intensity than before. I slowly wiped him clean, only to discover that some of the old wounds seemed to have been treated before.

In Iron Cloud City, dealing with various machinery meant that scrapes and punctures were common; I always carried wound medicine with me.

It was the kind I was used to using. For now, it would have to do for him; tomorrow I would find something more suitable.

With ointment on my fingertips, I knelt before him. After hesitating for a while, I pressed down on his wrist with one hand and touched his injury with the other.

…Why was I applying medicine for him?

Gritting my teeth, I pressed down anyway, spreading the ointment in stiff circles. Not knowing what to think about, I directed all my misplaced attention into carefully smelling the scent of the ointment.

It didn’t smell great, but it was surely better than the scent of rouge and powder.

While my mind was focused on the medicine, I looked up to see that at some point, his own fingertips had dipped into the water. He was quietly rubbing away the bit of rouge on his lips and wiping the wine stains from the corner of his mouth. Sensing my movements had stopped, he withdrew his hand, his gaze falling toward my direction again.

He didn’t like it. I didn’t like it either.

When I brought back another basin of water, I sat beside him, folded the cloth, thought for a moment, and moved closer.

Through the thin silk fabric, his intentionally suppressed breath lingered on my fingertips.

Being this close—I pressed against the corner of his mouth, thinking blankly—he actually didn’t kill me. And why didn’t I kill him?

When I turned the cloth over, a bit of red had blurred onto it. Tossing it back into the bronze basin, I wrote on his hand: “It’s wiped clean.”

He lowered his eyes and gave a very quiet mm. I instinctively said: “Don’t put it on anymore. Don’t ever put it on again.”

The moment the words left my mouth, I remembered he couldn’t hear—I kept forgetting. Wiping the water from my fingertips, I wrote the same thing on his hand.

Xie Huaishuang didn’t speak. Whenever I wrote, he would lower his eyes to “look” at his palm. When I finished, I saw him raise his eyes, the shadows of his eyelashes trembling over the emerald pools.

“Why… treat me this way?”

Good question. I wanted to know too.

I faced him, my mind a jumble of thoughts. Because I paid the money? Because you are my most hated rival? Because you happen to be easy on the eyes? Or because I am simply too kind-hearted a passerby?

After thinking for a long time without success, I simply asked an unrelated question: “Can’t you see me at all?”

He shook his head. “Not quite… a bit of a shadow.”

I looked up at him. Those deep green eyes indeed had no focus, staring blankly past my shoulder.

“Good God!” The ugly trash in the corner suddenly started shouting. “Pretending to be a gentleman just now, but in the end, you’re all the same! Flirting and whispering right in front of me—have you no shame?!”

Xie Huaishuang suddenly tilted his head, looking toward the direction of the bound trash—the man had likely just woken up and made some noise.

Xie Huaishuang didn’t hear him, and I didn’t understand him. I scanned the room.

There was only him and me, plus the trash. Who was flirting?

My gaze finally landed on that corner, only to find the ugly man glaring at me.

…Me? Me?

When one is speechless, one truly does laugh out loud. Anyone with eyes could see that Xie Huaishuang and I were incompatible rivals; I wanted nothing more than to kill him, and he felt the same about me. To point at us and say we were “flirting”—had I knocked the man stupid earlier?

“Damn you! Did you tie me up just to pollute my eyes?” The trash shouted louder and louder. “What kind of fetish is this! I—AH!”

I told you not to move; the iron chains have spikes. He forgot as soon as I said it; it seems I really did hit him a bit too hard and made him an idiot.

Well, it’s what he deserves.

Xie Huaishuang frowned, clearly sensing something.

It wasn’t surprising. Even if he couldn’t see or hear, his instincts, intuition, and basic judgment were still there. It was natural for him to realize there was someone else in the room.

Like I said. He still has some skill.

“Don’t worry about it.” The room had already become quiet again. I wrote on his hand: “Just an idiot. I’ll deal with him when I’m rested.”

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to kill him right now. It was just that to find him, I had slept less than six hours in three days. He might be able to endure, but I couldn’t.

Besides, killing him in this state wouldn’t give me any sense of achievement. There was no need to kill him today.

“Sleep,” I wrote on his hand once more. “It’s very late.”

It was already night when I found Linlang Pavilion, and it was now nearly the second watch (approx. 10 PM). Xie Huaishuang was still like a stubborn rock—clearly exhausted, yet not saying a word.

He thought I couldn’t tell. He was still looking down on me. How detestable.

Xie Huaishuang’s fingertips moved, curling slightly. I thought he wasn’t going to say anything else and stood up to extinguish the two copper lamps, but someone tugged on the hem of my robe.

It was a very light force, like being snagged by a small twig. Even as I turned around, Xie Huaishuang’s hand was already back on his knee.

“And you?” he said. “Where are you going?”

Another good question. Where was I going?

Sleep here? That didn’t seem appropriate. There was only one bed. If I lay on a bed with Xie Huaishuang, I was afraid he’d kill me.

Go out and return to my Iron Vermilion Bird? That wouldn’t work either. If I left him here alone, what if someone else tried to kill him?

…Fine. I’ll just hang upside down from the eaves.