She Is Such A Jerk, And Yet She’s The One Crying! - Chapter 2

This was… the Imperial Preceptor, Lin Dongruan.

The moment the name and the person became one in her mind, Qiang Ning’s heart seemed to stop for a heartbeat. She had known only that the Imperial Preceptor was a woman of immense talent, but she had never imagined—

Lin Dongruan was actually this beautiful.

So beautiful she hardly seemed real.

Qiang Ning suddenly understood the new Emperor’s perspective. When a woman possessed such dazzling radiance, once encountered, one would surely want to hold her firmly in their grasp; how could anyone be willing to let her leave?

The candlelight flickered sparsely. By the starlight and the faint glow, Qiang Ning surveyed the interior of the house. Lin Dongruan truly lived in utter destitution; one glance was enough to take in every piece of furniture in the home.

The once-renowned Imperial Preceptor was now living in such genuine bitterness. How did she even survive like this?

For a moment, Qiang Ning was speechless, her eyes fixed unblinkingly on Lin Dongruan’s profile. It wasn’t until the candle burned out and the wax tears dripped onto the floor, and Lin Dongruan rose to tidy up, that she finally spoke: “Thank you for saving me. If not for you, Sister, I fear I would have frozen to death in the wind and snow.”

Lin Dongruan picked up the dried wax tears from the floor. Unwilling to throw them away, she placed them on the table. “My humble cottage is crude, and there is no charcoal for warmth in winter. I have inconvenienced you, Miss.”

Having picked up a stranger of unknown origin who had collapsed before her door, her first words were not an interrogation, but an expression of concern?

The excuses Qiang Ning had prepared suddenly stuck in her throat. Her rich, bright eyes flickered for a moment, revealing a rare sense of bewilderment. She didn’t ask her name? Or where she came from?

“To have a place of refuge from the cold is already a blessing from heaven. It is no inconvenience, no inconvenience at all.”

Qiang Ning slowly propped herself up on her elbows. Looking down, she realized the quilt pressing against her was heavy and cold; there was likely very little cotton batting inside to ward off the chill. She lifted it slightly and found that the frozen quilt felt like rotten mud—instead of keeping one warm, it felt like the “death by sandbag” method used in prisons, capable of pressing the life out of someone in their sleep.

If anyone else had done this, Qiang Ning would have certainly thought they were trying to murder her silently. But it just so happened that the person who covered her with this quilt was Lin Dongruan.

The famously “good-to-a-fault” Imperial Preceptor, Lin Dongruan.

Lin Dongruan also seemed to sense the inappropriateness of the situation. She stepped forward to help her lift and fold the quilt. “My apologies. My home is impoverished. I only thought of shielding you from the cold and generating some warmth; I didn’t realize this quilt…”

“It’s nothing.”

Qiang Ning did not blame her; instead, she felt a pang of bitterness in her heart.

The former Imperial Preceptor didn’t even have a decent place to live now. In such a wretched state, how did she endure it?

Lin Dongruan’s hand, which was folding the quilt, paused in mid-air. After a moment, she sat at the bedside, resting her hands on her knees. The atmosphere grew quiet. There was nothing left to provide light in the room, and in the darkness, neither of them spoke.

After a while longer, Qiang Ning realized that there seemed to be only one bed in this room. Now that she had occupied it, Lin Dongruan could only sit blankly by the bedside.

Before coming here, Qiang Ning had imagined a thousand ways to maneuver and gamble with Lin Dongruan. After arriving, she never expected this scenario—this Imperial Preceptor hadn’t asked a single question, hadn’t uttered a word of reproach, and even though her bed was taken, she just sat silently at its edge.

Qiang Ning thought with a flicker of irritation: Does she really intend to just sit there bitterly all night?

How could there be someone in this world with such a soft heart and no temper?

Qiang Ning slightly moved her frostbitten wrists and slowly scooted toward the other woman. By the faint moonlight, she could see the clothes Lin Dongruan was wearing.

It was currently the dead of winter, yet Lin Dongruan was wearing rather thin clothing. Even if there was padding, it didn’t seem to be high-quality cotton; it was no better than that quilt. The clothes had been mended several times, and though they were old, they were clean and neat. Mixed with the icy frost of winter, one could still smell the faint fragrance of honey locust soap.

Involuntarily, Qiang Ning reached out her hand to touch the fabric of the other’s sleeve—cold, icy, and not at all soft.

Just as Qiang Ning sat closer, Lin Dongruan’s fingers resting on her knees curled slightly. Once the small movement from the other woman ceased, she reached out her fingers to grasp Qiang Ning’s wrist, taking the opportunity to feel her pulse.

The moment her wrist was caught, Qiang Ning struggled instinctively. It was a subconscious reaction, but Lin Dongruan released her without any objection and mildly withdrew her hand.

“Sor… Sorry.” Fearing she might be misunderstood, Qiang Ning stammered an apology and rested her wrist back onto the other’s knee. “I just didn’t react in time.”

Lin Dongruan didn’t scold her, only giving a soft “Mm” before closing her eyes to continue checking the pulse.

In the silence, Qiang Ning scrutinized Lin Dongruan’s face—what a peerless countenance. Her cheekbones were fine and delicate, supporting the skin; the contours were elegant and gentle. Even if she were to turn into withered bones thousands of years after death, anyone who dug up her skull would know this was a legendary beauty.

Because the woman’s eyes were closed, Qiang Ning felt bold enough to stare at her face, tracing from the dense, raven-black lashes to the straight bridge of her nose and down to those thin lips. Although she couldn’t see them clearly, she didn’t need to think to know that those lips must be a faint pink—cold, soft, and sweet.

At this thought, Qiang Ning’s heart rate suddenly accelerated. The more she tried to hold her breath and focus, the harder it was to control. Her breathing grew heavy. She covered her heart with her other hand, exhaling through her mouth as if it were a secret.

Lin Dongruan was somewhat puzzled and opened her eyes to ask gently, “Why has your heart rate suddenly become so fast?”

“It has been a malady since I was a child,” Qiang Ning said, which was the truth. She wasn’t lying. “There is no way to cure it.”

“The heart governs the pulse; all blood from the limbs and joints flows to the heart. If the heart’s vessels are obstructed, the Qi and blood will be uneven, like a river being cut off.” Lin Dongruan looked ahead. Although there was only darkness before her, she seemed to be looking at something very far away. “When the mother is ill, it affects the child. This is an affliction passed from your late mother. If you wish to uproot it, Miss, it will require slow treatment over many years. You might refer to how your mother nourished her body.”

The late Empress Xiaochan, Qiang Ning’s mother, had died of illness shortly after giving birth to her. Qiang Ning hadn’t known this was her mother’s illness. Hearing Lin Dongruan say this, she felt as if she could see her mother from many years ago—the mother she had never met, who on her deathbed fought for her daughter’s fiefdom and planned a lifetime of ease for her.

“Yes,” Qiang Ning replied, her voice carrying a hint of grief. “My mother has been dead for many years.”

“My condolences.”

Lin Dongruan had no intention of poking at someone’s wounds and felt she had misspoken. She lowered her head, withdrew her fingers, and said nothing more.

“After my mother passed away, I rarely saw my father. Having been away for many years, I never gained my freedom. They said they were going to sell me beyond the Western Borders. Recently, the heavy snow blocked the roads, and falling snow from the mountains startled the horses. I took advantage of the chaos to escape alone.” Qiang Ning finally found a topic to explain her origin. “I am now a person without a home. This place is sparsely populated; at dusk, I followed the trail of cooking smoke to find this place, but I didn’t expect to faint from the cold at your door, Sister. I had no intention of disturbing you. Now that I’ve warmed up, I… I should leave and find another place.”

This move of “playing hard to get” was finally put to use. As soon as she finished speaking, she made a determined motion to rise and leave.

After all, there was only one bed in this house. If Lin Dongruan didn’t ask her to stay, she would be spared from living a bitter life. This illness looked like it would take many years to cure, and this Imperial Preceptor didn’t have the divine power to cure her quickly anyway; she would get roughly the same result from an ordinary doctor.

But if Lin Dongruan did ask her to stay… Qiang Ning didn’t think further. she only lowered her head and glanced back—like a hunter hiding in the shadows, she quietly peeked at the person behind her.

For the Imperial Preceptor Lin Dongruan to be buried in such a crude countryside was truly a waste of a rare talent and beauty. If the other woman took the bait, she was actually willing to stay and try it out. Once she had had enough fun, she would simply snatch the woman away from this place.

“The hour is late, and the snow outside is so heavy. How can you go out alone with no place to go?” Lin Dongruan indeed had a soft heart. Seeing the woman about to leave, she immediately spoke to stay her. “If you do not find it beneath you, Miss, you might as well stay the night in my humble cottage.”

Qiang Ning looked at the only bed in the room with a hesitant expression. “But, wouldn’t this be encroaching upon…”

Lin Dongruan: “It is no matter. I am not sleepy.”

Qiang Ning: “…”

She didn’t even know how to evaluate this person. She was both lacking in romantic awareness and as stiff as a piece of wood. Surely there was no great harm in the two of them sleeping together? Yet this person was so politely handing the bed over to her?

Seeing Lin Dongruan prepare to sit up in her clothes, Qiang Ning hurriedly suggested: “Does Sister find me distasteful?”

Lin Dongruan didn’t know what she meant by this. She paused for a moment before replying, “I do not.”

“Although this room can ward off the cold, the wind and snow inevitably leak in. If you don’t mind, we two could sleep in the same bed. We could also draw warmth from one another.” Qiang Ning put on a cautious look, testing her. “Sister, is that alright?”

“Very well,” Lin Dongruan nodded, then stood up to make the bed for the two of them.

The quilt was still that wretched quilt, and the mattress was as cold and hard as iron. Qiang Ning gritted her teeth and lay down, feeling as if she were undergoing torture.

It was truly cold and truly bitter.

She was the dignified Eldest Princess. For the first twenty-two years of her life, she had lived in pampered luxury. With just a wave of her hand, all the glory and wealth were easily hers. She didn’t know if it was the Imperial Preceptor’s beauty that led her astray or if her own brain had been frozen broken, but she actually stayed to suffer through this bitterness with this woman named Lin.

Too cold, too cold…

Qiang Ning’s teeth were chattering. Not only could she not sleep at all, but she even regretted the impulsive decision she had just made.

She couldn’t help but wonder: after a person has enjoyed the highest honors and wealth, how can they still settle their heart and return to the countryside to live such a poor and bitter life? What kind of mental fortitude and integrity supported Lin Dongruan through these hundreds and thousands of days of destitution?

It seemed the rumors in the capital were entirely true. This person truly did not love wealth or crave power. Her integrity was as cold and clear as the frosty moon and proud bamboo. Once the thought of seclusion arose, she left the capital alone without taking any gold, silver, or fine silks.

Qiang Ning truly admired the Imperial Preceptor Lin Dongruan—she was both impressed and curious.

Just as her mind was wandering, Lin Dongruan tidied her clothes and lay down gently beside her.

A faint, clean fragrance wafted around her nose. All of Qiang Ning’s thoughts were instantly shattered, leaving her mind filled only with the words: restless and wavering.

The side of Qiang Ning’s body touching Lin Dongruan felt as if it had been frozen numb; she couldn’t move at all. She felt her arm was so stiff she couldn’t even lift it. One could hear a pin drop in the room, yet her breathing was incredibly heavy. The more she held it in, the more it felt like she was trying to hide something obvious.