Shadowed Love: A Lover Who Refuses to Let Go - Chapter 9

Yin Yunzhu tangled with Jiang Menghe again, like two drops of clear water merging into one. Their hurried, scorching breaths left fleeting red marks on each other’s skin. Compared to their initial clumsiness and uncertainty, they now moved with much more ease.

Lost in the moment, Yin Yunzhu brushed aside the strands of hair clinging to the woman’s cheek and licked away the tear about to slip from the corner of her eye. Moonlight seeped through the gap in the curtains, casting a glow into her eyes, where Yin Yunzhu saw only her own reflection her one and only.

Her fingers traced the smooth porcelain skin, treasuring it with care as she pressed her forehead against Jiang Menghe’s. Their lips met, then traveled from brows to the bridge of her nose, finally lingering on that tiny red mole.

By the time they were both breathless, Yin Yunzhu sighed and pulled away from the covers. Despite being the one in control, she somehow looked more flustered than Jiang Menghe.

After soothing the woman beneath her, she headed for the shower. When she emerged, the room remained unlit except for the dim glow from the bedside lamp. Jiang Menghe, exhausted, leaned against the soft pillows, texting someone.

Hearing the movement, she looked up. In the dim light, her gentle eyes shimmered with moisture.

Yin Yunzhu’s heart skipped a beat, and she averted her gaze uncomfortably. She reached for the coat draped over the chair and pulled it over her shoulders.

“What are you doing?” Jiang Menghe rested her head against the bedframe, wincing slightly before tilting her chin up.

Even after intimacy, she didn’t appear as disheveled as Yin Yunzhu. Her demeanor remained poised and elegant, like a flower blooming atop crumbling ruins.

“It’s late. I should go home,” Yin Yunzhu said, zipping her coat all the way up to her chin, bundling herself tightly.

“Oh, where’s my keychain?” She hadn’t forgotten the main reason she came.

Once or twice, she could still fool herself, but by the third time, there was no denying the truth, she could no longer make excuses.

Still, the guilt had long since washed away with the tides of their passion. Yin Yunzhu had tasted the pleasure of it and could no longer bring herself to harshly condemn her own actions.

At her words, the woman on the bed threw back the covers and patted the space beside her.

Thinking the keychain was on the nightstand, Yin Yunzhu leaned over to search for it, only for Jiang Menghe to seize her wrist. In the next moment, she was yanked onto the bed, stumbling awkwardly.

“Sleep,” Jiang Menghe commanded, her tone brooking no argument.

“No, I have to go home,” Yin Yunzhu protested, struggling free, her sleeve slipping down her arm. “I have a cat to feed.”

Though she had already refilled the food and water before leaving, it was just an excuse, one Jiang Menghe saw right through.

“It’s not safe to go alone at night. Listen to me, stay over.”

Jiang Menghe’s voice left no room for refusal. Yin Yunzhu resisted a few more times but faltered under her gaze, reluctantly giving in.

“Without a pass, the guards won’t let you out,” Jiang Menghe added, her lips curving slightly, though her tone remained firm. “Get in.”

“Fine.” Yin Yunzhu had no choice. Whether it was the mention of the guards or something else, she obediently took off her coat and hung it back up.

She curled up at the edge of the bed, peeking out like a cautious groundhog. A gap stretched between them, the blanket untouched in the middle.

From what Yin Yunzhu had observed, Jiang Menghe seemed like someone with strong boundaries. What happened in bed was one thing, but daily life was another. Right now, she didn’t dare make any sudden moves, afraid of crossing an invisible line.

Under Yin Yunzhu’s damp, hesitant gaze, Jiang Menghe seemed to hesitate, her lips parting before she sighed in resignation.

For a moment, Yin Yunzhu thought she must be imagining things because she could have sworn there was a hint of fondness in that sigh.

“Come closer, or I won’t give you the keychain,” the woman beckoned, speaking with childish playfulness.

She slowly moved closer, catching the familiar scent of gardenia in her hair.

Jiang Menghe propped herself up on the pillow, resting her chin on her hand as she gazed at her. The reading lamp behind her cast a warm glow on her profile, softening the sharp intensity of her deep-set eyes.

“Are you that scared of me?” She laughed, the quilt trembling slightly with her movement.

“I’m not,” Yin Yunzhu retorted stubbornly, averting her eyes guiltily.

Jiang Menghe listened to her muffled voice and humored her. “Alright, you’re not. Do you have a cat? What breed?”

The abrupt change of topic eased the awkwardness in Yin Yunzhu’s heart.

“An orange tabby. Tough little thing.”

When she had first considered adoption, she had debated between a fancy foreign breed and a local stray. In the end, she had instantly fallen for Xiao Yu at the shelter. True to expectations, the cat was low-maintenance, aside from its voracious appetite, it rarely fell ill.

“Must eat a lot, huh?” Jiang Menghe chuckled, the atmosphere relaxing further.

“Yeah, about ten pounds a month.”

The curtains swayed gently with the breeze from the air conditioner, drifting like a light melody. The earlier tension dissipated, leaving Yin Yunzhu feeling utterly drained. All she wanted now was to collapse into bed and sleep.

She had expended too much energy.

Perhaps it was the instinct to withdraw after intimacy her eyes half-lidded, her responses absentminded. In more colloquial terms, she had entered her “post-coital clarity.”

Jiang Menghe, to her credit, patiently kept the conversation going.

Realizing this might be an attempt to soothe her, Yin Yunzhu mustered her energy, forcing her round eyes open as soft light filtered through her lashes into her pupils.

“That kid today your sister?” The woman gathered her long hair and slipped under the covers, lying down so they were face-to-face.

“How did you know?” Yin Yunzhu froze. She had never mentioned her personal life to the other woman.

Jiang Menghe smiled faintly. “She looks a lot like you. The resemblance in your mannerisms is uncanny. I didn’t look closely at the time.”

“She really likes you.” Yin Yunzhu pulled the blanket up to cover half her face. Though it was Yin Xuan’s admiration, coming from her lips, it somehow carried a different implication.

She hesitated over whether to ask for an autograph or a small keepsake from Jiang Menghe for her sister but the other woman’s thoughts seemed to align with hers.

“If there’s a photo she likes, you can take it back for her,” Jiang Menghe offered, then paused, her tone apologetic. “But… try not to let outsiders know about our relationship, okay?”

Though phrased as a request, Yin Yunzhu detected a note of detachment.

To put it bluntly, they were nothing more than casual bedmates, a relationship that couldn’t bear the light of day, one she lacked the courage to openly acknowledge.

She couldn’t read Jiang Menghe. Perhaps the latter had been through too many such encounters her expression betrayed no trace of guilt when scrutinized.

“Got it,” Yin Yunzhu replied obediently.

“Mm. Sleep now.” Jiang Menghe reached out, bringing a faint chill with her as she turned off the bedside lamp.

The room plunged back into darkness, thick as rising tide.

The next day was Monday. Fortunately, both had flexible work schedules. When Yin Yunzhu woke, her vision was still blurry. The heavy curtains blocked out the light, making it seem much earlier than it was.

Groping for her phone on the nightstand, she realized it was already ten. Stretching, she got up to get ready.

Jiang Menghe was already awake, reclining against the headboard as she scrolled through morning news on her tablet. Noticing movement, she glanced over. “There are disposable toiletries in the drawer under the sink.”

Yin Yunzhu responded, clumsily climbing out of bed in her sneakers. Entering the bathroom, she noticed dark circles under her eyes in the mirror. Her skin had lost its usual luster, as if drained of vitality.

Was this the consequence of overindulgence?

She rubbed her eyes and took out a toothbrush from the drawer. The bathroom counter was lined with numerous skincare products, many from brands she’d long coveted.

The gap between celebrities and ordinary people was vast, luxury items she’d scrimped and saved for were so abundant here they could open a store. Yet Yin Yunzhu had little interest in overpriced high-end brands, preferring practical and cost-effective options, a habit instilled by Ms. Shan since childhood.

After freshening up, she emerged to find Jiang Menghe fastening her coat buttons. Spotting Yin, Jiang tossed her the keychain from the bedside table.

“Don’t be so careless next time,” Jiang said before heading to the living room.

The room still carried traces of last night’s passion. Yin tucked the keychain into her pocket, ensured nothing was left behind, and departed Jiang’s home.

As Quancheng approached winter, chilly winds crept under her collar. Pulling up her hood, she waited for a taxi outside Riyue Mingyuan.

Bundled in a warm coat, she stood by the leaf-strewn sidewalk, hands in pockets, staring at her toes while another’s image persistently surfaced in her mind, Jiang Menghe’s gentle eyes beneath her, occasionally gasping in pleasure while clutching Yin’s hair, then soothingly stroking her head in vulnerable dependence.

A completely different person from her daytime self.

Reflecting, Yin realized her recent idleness had allowed Jiang to dominate her thoughts. She needed more activities.

As she waited, a woman passed by shoulder-length bob, laugh lines crinkling as she loudly chatted on the phone:

“Yes, I’m at your door, coming in soon!” “Come on, between us, do we need appointments?” “You know how it is my son keeps me busy, plans change! Just open up!” “My husband’s working late, it’s our girls’ night out!”

The constant mentions of “husband” and “son” grated on Yin. She exhaled sharply, fingering the keychain in her pocket, recalling Ms. Shan’s recent matchmaking attempts. Without meeting Jiang, she might be dating some man her elders recommended.

Eventually… she’d become like that passing stranger, on some ordinary morning, walking down the street making mundane calls to friends.

The thought depressed her. She absently traced circles with her shoe until a taxi arrived, scattering her melancholy.

Inside, stale tobacco smoke assaulted her. Rolling down the window, crisp air cleared her mind. Chiding herself for the sentimental mood, she reasoned she’d managed fine all these years, marriage wasn’t a priority before thirty anyway.

As the driver hummed a tune, she gazed listlessly outside until her phone buzzed with a group notification:

Gentle Breeze: [Friday 4pm lecture at Art Center Hall 2. Attendance sheet below @everyone] Gentle Breeze: [Lecture_Roster.xls]

It was a group message from the Quancheng Writers’ Association. Two years ago, Yin Yunzhu had been filled with admiration for the title of “writer” and officially became a member after passing the review by the end of the year. The group would occasionally post announcements about lectures. Hoping to improve her writing skills, she attended, only to sit through a bunch of older people boasting, which completely shattered her illusions.

This time, she should have refused. But then she thought about how Jiang Menghe had disrupted her life these past few days, and her finger hesitated over the close button.

Fine, she thought. Might as well go out and clear her head.

Yin Yunzhu opened the form and carefully filled in her personal information.

Hopefully, life would get back on track from now on.

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