Self-Perception - Chapter 30

Outside, the traffic was heavy. Across the hotel, there was a green park. The sun was just right, and faintly, there were many elderly people and children basking in the sun.

Wen Jinyan was lying on the sofa. The TV was still playing the drama starring Gu Wansheng, who played a scholarly, well-bred young lady from a wealthy family. Her demeanor was gentle and refined, yet her words were powerful and resonant.

“Since your heart belongs to me, and mine to you. Why can’t we be together? Is it merely because of this barrier of identity between us? You know that since I’ve spoken, I don’t care about the difference in our stations.”

“But we are, after all, people from two different worlds…”

“So what? The world will continue to turn without you and me. And we are only in love, we haven’t committed any crime.”

The voice faded in and out. Wen Jinyan’s ears were filled with Gu Wansheng’s voice, firm and resonant. On the screen, Gu Wansheng’s figure in ancient costume became blurry, then gradually cleared, transforming into her modern appearance.

The voice also changed, becoming soft and warm.

“Jinyan, do you want sweet and sour pork ribs or braised pork?”

“Jinyan, I want to kiss you, is that okay?”

“Jinyan, the green grapes were given by Director Bai, try them.”

“Jinyan, if I’m angry, I will tell you.”

“Jinyan, are you a fish? Do you only have seven seconds of memory?”

“Jinyan, I’m angry.”

“Miss Rabbit…”

In her mind, it was like a movie, filtering frame by frame, all scenes related to Gu Wansheng. She hadn’t noticed it before, but recalling them now, those most ordinary conversations and warm memories were all brought to her by Gu Wansheng.

Wen Jinyan looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. Only three minutes had passed since Su Muqing hung up her phone.

Three minutes, yet it felt like several months.

She used these three minutes to think about where she should position herself.

Should she adhere to the role of a dutiful wife or the lover she could rely on in the future?

But the answer was obvious. Three minutes, just three minutes. Within the three minutes of Su Muqing asking her question, she walked into the light named Gu Wansheng, accepting only her baptism.

The National Day holiday soon arrived, and the streets were adorned with the Chinese red. Wen Jinyan only took a small suitcase. Looking at the empty room, she silently closed the door.

Gu Wansheng had been very busy since filming the movie, with a constant stream of endorsements, advertisements, and magazine shoots. She often came home around 11 o’clock. Wen Jinyan waited for her to return before going to sleep every time, but Gu Wansheng didn’t know because Wen Jinyan always pretended to be reading when she came back, when in reality, she was waiting for her.

She walked to the dining table. Breakfast was already laid out.

She knew without a doubt who had prepared it.

Wen Jinyan washed her hands, picked up an egg, peeled the shell, and slowly ate it.

The weather in autumn was slightly cool. The morning and evening temperatures in Jiangcheng were the lowest, but she could eat warm food every morning.

The hot porridge warmed her stomach and her heart.

Wen Jinyan ate and washed the dishes afterwards. Looking at the bowl in her hand, Wen Jinyan pondered. Gu Wansheng had always been the one taking care of her. Should she try cooking too?

The phone rang. Wen Jinyan dried her hands and answered the call.

“Jinyan, I’m already downstairs at your place.”

“Okay, be right there,” Wen Jinyan took a final look at the room and closed the door.

As soon as Wen Jinyan came down, she saw Su Muqing standing under a big tree, a cigarette pinched between her fingers. Seeing Wen Jinyan approaching, Su Muqing moved the cigarette away and lifted her head, “I know you don’t like the smell of smoke. Go sit in the car first, I’ll be right there.”

Wen Jinyan stared at the cigarette in her hand and finally just left with a “Smoke less.”

When Su Muqing got into the car, Wen Jinyan could still smell a slight hint of orange, not pungent. She knew Su Muqing must have smoked more than one.

Su Muqing turned on the car’s air freshener, trying to eliminate the smell of smoke.

“I’ll drive,” Wen Jinyan said before she started the engine.

Su Muqing didn’t object, and they switched places.

At a traffic light, Wen Jinyan looked at the light above and asked, “How are things between you and Ji Yibai lately?”

Two seconds later, she heard Su Muqing’s heavy sigh.

“Am I that obvious?”

Then, a flurry of continuous sentences burst from her mouth like a barrage, “I had an argument with her yesterday.”

“Hmm, tell me why you argued,” Wen Jinyan turned her gaze to Su Muqing, and added, “It’s very obvious.”

One second she was urging her to come down quickly, the next she was smoking under a tree. Anyone would know something was wrong.

“I went to her university to drop her off just now, and before I even got far, I saw a woman, I don’t know if she was her colleague or student, walking so close to her. The distance between the two was just… just…” Su Muqing couldn’t describe the exact distance, so she demonstrated directly, turning sideways, her eyes wide, nearly pressed up to Wen Jinyan’s face.

“It was this close!”

Wen Jinyan subconsciously leaned back, her head hitting the car window with a dull thud.

Su Muqing realized her closeness and quickly backed away to a safe distance, extending her hand only to pull it back, “Sorry, Jinyan, are you hurt?”

“You certainly startled me. I’m fine,” Wen Jinyan rubbed the back of her head and continued the previous topic, “So, Ji Yibai didn’t keep her distance from someone else, and you got angry.”

“I know she’s popular and it’s inevitable that she’ll interact with the young women in her lab, but she clearly knows I’m her girlfriend. She didn’t even greet me, she just lifted her head. I stood on the side and felt like I was air!”

The light turned green.

Wen Jinyan shifted gears.

“Aren’t you going to comfort me?” Su Muqing folded her arms across her chest.

“Hmm, let me think,” Wen Jinyan focused on the road ahead, and after a few seconds said, “Ji Yibai was indeed in the wrong.”

Su Muqing didn’t wait for her continuation, “That’s it?”

“When she saw you, she should have naturally distanced herself from that other girl, she should have walked towards you and greeted you, she should have asked about you and cared about you.”

Su Muqing nodded, then realized a second later, “When is your birthday?”

“May 20th.”

“Taurus,” Su Muqing mumbled to herself, “The constellation and birthday are right. So why do you seem to have suddenly enlightened?”

“When I used to analyze for you, you’d only say two out of three sentences were about Ji Yibai being wrong. I looked up constellation analysis online, and it said Taurus people are slow to warm up, dull, emotionally detached, but steady. The former you was quite consistent with that, so how have you become slightly capable of analysis now?”

Wen Jinyan: “You want to know?”

Su Muqing was surprised: “You actually have a reason?”

“Because I think, if I were to go find Gu Wansheng, she would definitely care about me, she would come to my side, and her eyes would smile.”

Su Muqing felt a mouthful of dog food, feeling even more uncomfortable. “Jinyan, you’ve become naughty.”

Wen Jinyan: “Hmm?”

Su Muqing reached into her pocket for a cigarette but didn’t take it out. “The old you wouldn’t have said that.”

“The old me wasn’t married,” Wen Jinyan shifted into fourth gear.

Su Muqing “…”

Su Muqing: “Slow down, there’s a speed camera ahead.”

Wen Jinyan: “Any news from Zhang Wen’s side?”

Su Muqing: “You changed the topic so stiffly.” She instinctively turned on the navigation for her.

She also turned on the car music, playing “teech.” As the drum beats started, Su Muqing followed the music’s rhythm. “The message has been released to her. By the looks of the time, she should be traveling at a similar speed to us.”

“Then let’s see who’s faster.”

Su Muqing: “Sometimes I think you’re very much like a fox, cunning, but sometimes I have the illusion that you’re a little white rabbit.”

Wen Jinyan rolled down the window, letting in a breath of air. “I thought you’d say I was a black sesame glutinous rice ball.”

Su Muqing: “Why would you think that?” Then she belatedly realized, “Black-hearted!!”

Wen Jinyan let out a brief laugh and ignored her.

“So, how did you explain your National Day trip to Teacher Gu? Won’t she be unhappy?”

“I told her I had something to deal with, and she’s also busy during the National Day holiday, so it’s hard for her to worry about me.”

Su Muqing acknowledged this and looked ahead. “If you get tired of driving, I’ll take over.”

But even though she said that, every time the navigation alerted them to an upcoming service station, Su Muqing would ask, “Do you need me to switch? Do you need to use the restroom? Do you want to rest?”

Wen Jinyan: “No need, nope, not tired.”

By the time they exited the highway, Wen Jinyan had driven for six hours. Su Muqing insisted on driving the rest of the way. Wen Jinyan understood that Su Muqing was worried about her driving fatigued, but she genuinely wasn’t tired.

They swapped drivers by the roadside. Wen Jinyan got into the passenger seat, fastened her seatbelt, and replied to messages.

Gu Wansheng had messaged her hours ago:

[Gu Wansheng]: Jinyan, when are you coming back? (Crying Cat.jpy)

12:34

[Gu Wansheng]: I ate boiled chicken breast for lunch today. Have you eaten? (Sighing Cat.jpy)

She also sent a picture of the boiled chicken breast, which looked unappetizing.

13:14

[Gu Wansheng]: I’m getting ready to go film an advertisement.

Wen Jinyan checked the time; it was already 2:30 PM, so replying now was a little late.

“Muqing, did you take a picture of our lunch?”

Su Muqing: “No. Why do you need a picture? We bought boxed meals at the service station to save time today. You didn’t like them, only ate a few bites, right? Why do you want a picture now? To train yourself?”

The boxed meals at the service station were not only expensive, but also oily and expensive. The stir-fried vegetables were mushy, having lost the organic matter they contained.

Su Muqing made a lot of sense, but Wen Jinyan thought that if she sent the photo to Gu Wansheng, it might make Gu Wansheng feel a little better inside, at least letting her feel that they were “sharing the hardship.”

Wen Jinyan: Just got off the highway, just saw my phone.

Wen Jinyan: Lunch wasn’t good. Not as good as your cooking.

System prompt: The other party is typing…

[Gu Wansheng]: Then when you come back, let’s eat hairy crabs. I’ll make them for you.

Finally, at 5 PM, the two arrived at their destination. Su Muqing found that the place Li Fei was staying was a farmhouse restaurant opened in a small town.