Self-Perception - Chapter 27

The autumn chill was sudden. Gu Wansheng held Wen Jinyan’s hand, trying to warm her cold hand with her own.

Wen Jinyan’s hand was very cold. Logically, after sitting in the air-conditioned room for so long, it should have warmed up somewhat. But only Wen Jinyan’s face had gained some color; her hands remained cold.

Gu Wansheng remembered the time when Wen Jinyan was an extra. To achieve the most authentic feeling, she had repeatedly hung from a wire harness and dropped into the lake to find the “drowning sensation.” After that incident, her body developed a deeply rooted coldness. Years passed, and she only managed to get better after relying on traditional Chinese medicine for conditioning.

“Why are your hands so cold?” Gu Wansheng squeezed her hand tightly.

“I don’t know,” Wen Jinyan instinctively shook her head.

“It’s alright then. I’ll make you more hot dishes later. We’ll start nourishing you from the stomach.”

“Is there any basis for that?” Wen Jinyan’s throat felt itchy, her head was starting to feel heavy, but she forced herself to ask in a low voice. She genuinely didn’t know why her hands were cold, but she felt that Gu Wansheng’s method lacked scientific basis.

“I heard the older generation say that when your stomach is warm, your whole body warms up too,” Gu Wansheng rubbed her nose and smiled. “In any case, we have a long time ahead of us. We’ll take it slow.”

She spoke with a hidden personal wish: she wanted a long future with Wen Jinyan.

Thus, Gu Wansheng’s eyes held a subtle anticipation, like a breeze, lightly settling on Wen Jinyan, trying to make her feel its evident yet cautious presence.

Wen Jinyan’s expression remained as calm as water, her eyes languidly open, unmoved.

Gu Wansheng thought again: If she were truly water, that would be great. At least she could heat her up and make her boil for herself.

As soon as they got into the car, Wen Jinyan immediately leaned her head against the seat and closed her eyes.

Gu Wansheng took off her glasses and carefully observed the sleeping person’s features.

Was she trying to avoid discussing the previous topic? Was she unwilling to be awkward? Or was she genuinely sleepy? Gu Wansheng wasn’t sure, but she hoped it was the latter.

She turned up the car’s air conditioning and asked Meng Qiu to drive steadily.

When they arrived at the hotel, she debated whether to let Wen Jinyan wake up before leaving or to wake her up now so she could sleep in the hotel. She chose to wake her up.

The air in the car was too stuffy, which wasn’t good for breathing.

Gu Wansheng called Wen Jinyan’s name for the fifth time before realizing something was wrong. She instinctively reached out to touch Wen Jinyan’s forehead it was scorching hot.

A warning bell sounded in her heart: Wen Jinyan had a fever.

She immediately took out the always ready thermometer from the car to check her temperature, and at the same time, she told Meng Qiu to drive to the hospital.

A few minutes later, Gu Wansheng looked at the thermometer: 40 degrees Celsius! A high fever!

She instantly told Meng Qiu to drive faster.

Wen Jinyan’s sleep was restless. She dreamed of many strange things. One moment she turned into a turtle, grabbed by the shell and unable to move; the next moment she was held down, a sharp object piercing her skin; and then she was in a volcano, scalding and hot.

When she opened her eyes, the smell of disinfectant spread across her nostrils, and white walls filled her vision.

“Cough, cough…” When she spoke, she realized her voice was terribly hoarse, and her throat felt like it was being sliced by a knife.

“You’re awake,” a gentle voice rang out.

Wen Jinyan turned her head. Gu Wansheng placed a cup of water on the table. She took a cushion from the sofa and placed it behind the bed for support, helping her sit up.

Wen Jinyan took the water, which relieved the dryness in her mouth. She then looked down at the hospital gown she was wearing.

“How did I end up in the hospital?” Her voice was soothed by the warm water, but her vocal cords still hurt when she spoke.

“You didn’t even know you had a fever yourself.” A 40-degree fever. Heaven knows how panicked Gu Wansheng’s heart was when she saw the thermometer.

Gu Wansheng’s voice had little fluctuation, but Wen Jinyan unexpectedly sensed that Gu Wansheng was unhappy.

Wen Jinyan stared at her hospital gown again, thinking: It was just a fever, why did it escalate to the point of needing a hospital gown? And being admitted to a bed…

But she said outwardly, “I’m sorry, I caused you trouble.”

The blue and white hospital gown covered her body. Her face was pale, her lips were colorless, making her appear sickly and vulnerable. Wen Jinyan looked at Gu Wansheng, her amber eyes shimmering with tears due to the burning sensation from the fever.

Gu Wansheng lightly bit the soft flesh inside her left cheek and couldn’t manage to say a single harsh word.

She sighed inwardly.

“You should have told me earlier if you weren’t feeling well, Jinyan… I care about you a lot.”

More than you realize.

If Wen Jinyan was calm water, then Gu Wansheng was passionate fire. Gu Wansheng felt that Wen Jinyan’s affection for her was in the details, subtle and reserved, while hers for Wen Jinyan was passionate, like fire, holding nothing back.

Wen Jinyan looked at Gu Wansheng. Those phoenix eyes, when the lids were down, looked pitiful even without seeing clearly, but when lifted, they were bright and captivatingly seductive.

An inexplicable ripple stirred in Wen Jinyan’s heart.

Did she say the wrong thing and upset Gu Wansheng? But hadn’t she already apologized?

She gently spoke, “Gu Wansheng, you said you would tell me if you were angry.”

“I know,” Gu Wansheng nodded, then realized Wen Jinyan thought she was angry. Gu Wansheng let out a breath, “I’m not angry, it’s just that seeing you clearly unwell but still coming to find me made me…” heartbroken, distressed.

She turned her eyes away. Wen Jinyan tugged at her clothes, as if “coaxing” her. “It’s not your fault. I’m an adult, and whatever I do, I should bear the consequences. Without you, I can’t even sleep well, and that’s more painful than having a fever.”

A fever allowed her nerves a temporary relaxation, but the lack of Gu Wansheng’s company by her side was torment.

Gu Wansheng’s heart pounded, feeling like it was right up in her throat, about to burst out. She leaned her body back, hoping Wen Jinyan wouldn’t hear her strong heartbeat, afraid of disturbing her.

“Wen Jinyan, have you ever dated before?” Gu Wansheng asked. Otherwise, why would a simple sentence make her heart beat so fast?

Who knew Wen Jinyan would fall silent?

Gu Wansheng felt a touch of bitterness: She really has. That made sense. She was so beautiful and part-Caucasian; surely many people pursued her.

“I was pulled by a neighbor’s girl to play house when I was little. Does that count?” A smile touched her eyes as she spoke.

Gu Wansheng realized that Wen Jinyan could also crack a joke.

“Of course it counts! Why wouldn’t it? I didn’t expect you to be so popular even as a child…”

“Then since you are so beautiful, haven’t you ever dated?” Wen Jinyan retorted, coughing.

“I…” Gu Wansheng opened her mouth, wanting to lie and say she had, but she was afraid Wen Jinyan would believe her. After some hesitation, she told the truth and handed her the water. “Before I met you, I was completely focused on my career. Where would I find the time to date?”

She spoke calmly while taking out an apple and peeling it.

“So I’m your… first love?” Wen Jinyan put down the glass of water.

“Yes,” Not only her first love, but also her wife.

Wen Jinyan was a little surprised. Could there really be someone so innocent and devoted?

“Actually, quite a few people pursued me too, but I wasn’t interested in them,” Gu Wansheng tucked a corner of the blanket for her.

“You get some rest. I have an interview now,” Gu Wansheng sent a message to Meng Qiu, asking her to come upstairs.

“I’ll have Meng Qiu come over to keep you company. It’s easier to have someone look after you,” Gu Wansheng cleaned some grapes and placed them within Wen Jinyan’s reach.

“Gu-jie, I’m here,” Meng Qiu was holding a hat and handed it to Gu Wansheng.

Gu Wansheng put on the hat and a mask, pulling the brim low so even her eyes weren’t visible.

“The driver is waiting for you in the underground garage,” Gu Wansheng nodded after hearing this and left the room.

Meng Qiu kept an eye on the IV drip while checking her phone for messages. Wen Jinyan stared at the clock on the wall and asked, “Meng Qiu, is Gu Wansheng’s interview a live broadcast?”

Meng Qiu, who was playing on her phone on the sofa, jumped up like a “spring,” almost dropping her phone.

Wen Jinyan looked confused. “Did you get an electric shock?”

“Haha, no. Gu-jie’s interview is indeed a live broadcast, Sister Jinyan. Do you want to watch? I’ll put the official stream on for you.”

“Thank you,”

Meng Qiu set up a small table over her bed, turned on the live stream, and placed the tablet there.

The stream showed that the interview would start in ten minutes. Wen Jinyan watched the numbers on the screen slowly count down. Meng Qiu stood aside, thinking she should find something to talk about, otherwise it would be awkward.

“Sister Jinyan, you wouldn’t believe how worried Gu-jie was when she brought you over just now.”

Hearing this, Wen Jinyan turned her head, her eyes conveying: “Keep going.”

“On the way here, Gu-jie kept telling me to drive faster. Her voice was full of tension, worried that you would…” Meng Qiu searched for the right words, “get an even higher fever.”

“A fever isn’t a major illness,” Wen Jinyan said hoarsely.

Meng Qiu: “…” It was a good thing Gu-jie wasn’t here to hear that.

“Maybe Gu-jie was worried that a 40 degree fever might damage the brain nerves, and she just cares about you too much,” Meng Qiu tried her best to speak highly of Gu Wansheng in front of Wen Jinyan.

Upon hearing this, Wen Jinyan used her hand without the IV needle to pick up her phone and start typing.

Meng Qiu was close enough to see Wen Jinyan typing “Does a 40-degree fever affect the brain?” into Baidu (a Chinese search engine).

Meng Qiu was stunned, not expecting Sister Jinyan to be so cautious…

Wen Jinyan seemed to confirm the answer she was looking for and looked at Meng Qiu. “I take back what I just said.”

A fever is quite dangerous after all.

“Exactly. As soon as Gu-jie got to the hospital, she carried you directly to the emergency room and booked a private room for you before the doctor even spoke.”

“She carried me? Did no one see us on the way? What if we were recognized?” Wen Jinyan interrupted.

Meng Qiu: Sister Jinyan, your thought process is really sharp.

Wen Jinyan seemed to realize that interrupting Meng Qiu was impolite. “Please continue.”

“This is a private hospital, so the confidentiality is generally very good. Most people who come here are wealthy or celebrities like Gu-jie who require a high degree of privacy.” After Meng Qiu finished explaining, she didn’t want to say more. She was afraid that if she continued, Sister Jinyan would wash away the rose-tinted glasses she wore for their relationship.

The host’s opening speech came through the tablet. Wen Jinyan withdrew her gaze. On the screen, Gu Wansheng, wearing an indigo colored qipao, sat upright on the sofa, her waist slender.

“Welcome, Gu Wansheng, Teacher Gu,” as the host’s voice rang out, the camera focused on Gu Wansheng’s face.

Her face was without heavy makeup, and a small beauty mark was placed near the corner of her eye, adding a touch of allure.

Gu Wansheng smiled faintly and waved in response. “Hello everyone, I am Gu Wansheng.”

She wore a dark green jade bracelet on one hand, while the other rested on the edge of the bracelet.

Every glance and smile was filled with infinite charm, captivating and graceful.