Self-Perception - Chapter 22

The rest of Wen Jinyan’s words were swallowed into Gu Wansheng’s mouth.

Gu Wansheng called her name over and over again in her ear. Wen Jinyan arched her neck, and the soft light became fragmented and ethereal.

Afterward, Gu Wansheng held her and cleaned her body.

Wen Jinyan lay on the bed, already unable to summon any strength. Her eyes were half-open, feeling light headed. “Gu Wansheng…”

“Hmm?” Gu Wansheng leaned in close, her smooth hair hanging down and resting on Wen Jinyan’s face.

Sleepiness washed over Wen Jinyan. “Don’t be unhappy anymore.”

Upon hearing this, Gu Wansheng pressed her tongue against the soft tissue next to her teeth and chuckled softly.

She really liked Wen Jinyan’s way of coaxing her.

She lowered her head and lightly placed a kiss on Wen Jinyan’s forehead.

“Mhm, I’m not unhappy now.”

The next day, when Gu Wansheng saw Lu Wan again, her emotions were noticeably more stable.

Lu Wan came to find Bai Jin for the script and happened to run into Gu Wansheng and Wen Jinyan coming out of the lounge together.

“Teacher Gu,” Lu Wan greeted her warmly, her gaze moving to Wen Jinyan with a gentle smile. “This must be Teacher Gu’s wife.”

Wen Jinyan’s expression was calm, and she nodded. “Hello, Teacher Lu.”

“I didn’t expect you to know me,” Lu Wan seemed a little surprised, as she knew Gu Wansheng definitely wouldn’t have introduced her.

“I heard the radio drama you voiced before, so I had an impression.”

“Is that so? That was from a long time ago. I haven’t done any voice acting for many years.” Lu Wan was surprised.

“That’s a bit of a pity. The radio drama you voiced before had excellent control over your voice, almost lifelike.” Wen Jinyan offered a gentle smile.

“To be honest, I consider myself half a fan of yours. And I really hope you could voice my lines once, but it’s fine if it’s inconvenient for you.”

Gu Wansheng’s lips pressed into a straight line.

Wen Jinyan was actually a fan of Lu Wan?!

Lu Wan glanced at Gu Wansheng out of the corner of her eye, noticing she was spacing out and her expression had changed slightly. She smiled indifferently. “Of course, I can. Should we schedule a time later?”

Schedule a time?!

To talk alone?!

No way.

Gu Wansheng subtly took a step forward, reached out, and pulled Wen Jinyan to her side. “How about today? The lounge is empty and spacious. It won’t delay Teacher Lu’s time either.”

She looked at Wen Jinyan. “Wife, what do you think?”

Wife…

It was the first time she had heard this word from Gu Wansheng’s mouth.

Wen Jinyan opened her mouth, but Lu Wan interrupted her before she could speak. “Of course.”

Wen Jinyan looked at Gu Wansheng; the woman’s jawline was tense and sharp.

She must be unhappy because she saw Lu Wan.

But…

She had to stop Lu Wan.

Bai Jin leaned in and sniffed around Gu Wansheng.

“What are you doing?” Gu Wansheng asked suspiciously.

“Do you smell a sour scent of vinegar?” Bai Jin backed away, teasing playfully.

“Get lost,” Gu Wansheng gently bumped her with her elbow.

“Jinyan is already your wife, are you afraid she’ll run away? Besides, Jinyan doesn’t even like Lu Wan; anyone with eyes can see she likes you.”

Gu Wansheng’s expression visibly softened upon hearing the words, “she likes you.”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, I didn’t know you were such a love addict before.”

One moment she was sour and straight faced, and the next, even her brows carried a hint of pleasure.

Truly, you are Gu Wansheng.

“Who’s a love addict?” Gu Wansheng folded her arms across her chest. “If my wife doesn’t like me, who else would she like?”

Bai Jin rolled her eyes internally.

This is not a love addict?

She had never known Gu Wansheng to be this thick-skinned.

“Aren’t you going to the room to check?” Bai Jin nudged her with her elbow.

Gu Wansheng was sitting on a small chair nearby. Meng Qiu ran over and handed her a bottle of water.

She replied while twisting the cap off the bottle. “It’s just voice recording; it won’t take long.”

“What voice recording? Sister Gu?” Meng Qiu was confused, looking back and forth between the two of them.

Bai Jin didn’t answer, picking up the megaphone and shouting, “All departments in position, prepare to shoot!”

Meng Qiu “?”

What’s going on? Wen Jinyan and Lu Wan came out of the lounge.

“I’ll be going now, Miss Wen. See you next time if there’s a chance.”

“Goodbye, Teacher Lu.” Wen Jinyan maintained a graceful smile.

Her gaze followed Lu Wan, watching her walk up to Bai Jin, seemingly exchange a greeting, and then leave.

Wen Jinyan’s hand was in her pocket, touching a warm object, her fingertips rubbing over it. Her expression became normal.

[Wen Jinyan]: I got it.

Before long, the other party sent her a message.

[Su Muqing]: What’s our next step?

Wen Jinyan’s fingers flew across the screen.

[Find Li Fei]

Three months later, The Utilization was nearing its end.

The props team was busy preparing for the final big scene.

“Lighting is normal.”

Bai Jin looked at the set layout in the room and called out to the staff, “Move the fake flowers outside the screen closer. Hey, that’s good.”

She walked back to the monitor and sat down. “Action!”

The 22nd year of Dazhao, early spring.

Xie Wan and Nan Yan sat by the brazier, their expressions solemn.

Nan Yan calmly poured a cup of tea for her, and then for herself.

Xie Wan looked at the tea offered by the consort, her eyes filled with sorrow.

“We are destined not to be together. You have your mission, and I have my difficulties. If you keep me for one more day, those ministers will suspect you for one more day, and you will be unable to grasp real power and win the hearts of your subjects. Xie Wan, if you want peace in the world, you must be ruthless, the kind of ruthlessness a sovereign possesses.” Nan Yan analyzed calmly, watching her with a peaceful gaze, as if speaking about the most ordinary thing.

“I know, I know. But I thought there must be another…”

“There isn’t.”

Nan Yan interrupted her, looking at the woman in front of her with a slight frown, feeling a little heartache but laughing softly.

“Xie Wan, this is the fourth time you’ve hesitated. The first time was when I almost fell off the cliff, and after hesitating, you still chose to pull me, falling down with me. The second time was when you hesitated about whether to spare your imperial brother’s bloodline. The third time was when you discovered I was a woman. The fourth time,”

Nan Yan took a light breath, “is now, as we sit opposite each other, you are hesitating about saving my life.”

“It is often said that things shouldn’t exceed three. To account for three out of your four hesitations, it’s quite worth it.”

Xie Wan half-closed her eyes, unable to dissipate the deep sorrow within.

What should she do?

On one side was the person she loved, and on the other was the country and the world.

Her hands hanging by her sides clenched tightly. Her trembling body revealed her current suffering.

Nan Yan knew she was hesitating and chuckled lightly, full of openness. “Xie Wan, I don’t blame you, nor do I hate you. I love you. Nan Yan loves only Xie Wan in this lifetime.”

Nan Yan made the choice for her.

“Do you have any last wishes?”

Nan Yan suddenly stood up and respectfully performed three bows to her.

“Only three wishes.”

“First, I wish Xie Wan peace and joy.”

“Second, I wish for my parents to live out their natural lives.”

“Third, I wish for peace under heaven.”

Xie Wan inhaled deeply, her eyes red. She bit her lip to hold back her sobs, her shoulders trembling uncontrollably. She composed herself for a long time, taking a deep breath before forcing a single “Good” through her gritted teeth.

A smile appeared at the corner of the consort’s mouth. She spoke clearly, lowering her head to salute her while concealing the reluctance in her eyes. “Nan Yan hereby wishes the Empress Xie Wan a successful ascension to the throne.”

“Ah Wan, you must go and see the spring day.”

See it for me.

See it for us.

After speaking, the consort drank the poisoned wine in front of her and died of poisoning.

Xie Wan held the consort’s body, her cries suppressed. She knew she didn’t even have the right to cry loudly.

The 23rd year of Dazhao, Empress Xie Wan ascended the throne, honored as Emperor Pingyuan.

The 29th year of Dazhao, she led an army north, eradicating the last of the states. From then on, the world was stable, and there were no more wars. She simultaneously welcomed back the former Crown Prince Xie Ling, installed him as the Crown Prince, kept him by Emperor Pingyuan’s side, and diligently instructed him.

The 36th year of Dazhao, the emperor of the neighboring state passed away peacefully in prison, never having suffered any harsh or humiliating punishments.

The following year, the Empress abdicated in favor of Xie Ling. Another winter, the Empress knelt on a prayer cushion, with a cup of cold wine before her.

Dressed in crimson, she was majestic and noble, just as she had been when she first married the consort. She glanced at the heavy snow outside the window, her gaze distant, looking towards the direction of the former neighboring state.

“Nan Yan, it’s so cold underground. I’m coming to join you.”

She smiled and drank the cup of wine, the cup making a faint sound as it fell to the ground.

A tear slipped from the corner of her eye.

Xie Wan had three wishes.

First, peace under heaven.

Second, the sovereign is wise.

Third, to be with Nan Yan.

Forever inseparable.

“Congratulations, Teacher Gu, Teacher Ji, on wrapping up the filming!” Gu Wansheng finished her scene, accepting the bouquet handed to her by a staff member, and smiled. “Congratulations to you all on finishing work too!”

The staff member joked, “We’ve finished work, but the post-production editing and voice acting staff are just getting started.”

Gu Wansheng handed the bouquet to Meng Qiu to hold and looked around, not seeing the person she cared about.

“Where’s Jinyan?” she asked Meng Qiu.

“I just saw Sister Jinyan heading towards the restroom,” Meng Qiu answered, taking the flowers.

Gu Wansheng acknowledged this and started walking towards the restroom.

After Gu Wansheng left, Bai Jin happened to come over. “What’s she going to do?”

“To find Sister Jinyan,” Meng Qiu replied honestly. The two exchanged glances, understanding each other implicitly.

Meng Qiu: Sister Gu is so clingy.

Bai Jin: A love addict is hopeless.

Gu Wansheng opened the restroom door. Wen Jinyan was bent over, head down, her fingertips pressed against the marble countertop. From the side, her facial lines were smooth. The light shone down, casting a shadow at the bridge of her nose.

Hearing the door open, Wen Jinyan instinctively lowered her head, only looking towards the source of the sound a few seconds later.

“Wen Jinyan…” Gu Wansheng called her name, but the rest of her words were left unsaid because she saw that Wen Jinyan’s eyes were red, and her amber pupils were filled with lingering moisture.

She cried?

Gu Wansheng’s anxiety overshadowed her rationality. She strode forward, gently cupped Wen Jinyan’s face, and asked with concern, “What’s wrong? Did someone bully you?”

The warm touch on her face felt real. Wen Jinyan’s amber eyes blinked slightly, absorbing Gu Wansheng’s words.

After a moment, she realized Gu Wansheng had misunderstood.

“No one bullied me,” Wen Jinyan’s voice was faint, devoid of obvious emotion.

But this only made Gu Wansheng believe she was hiding something even more.

“Your eyes are all red, and you won’t even tell me?”

Wen Jinyan pursed her lips, unsure where to place her gaze, so she fixed it on Gu Wansheng’s collar.