No One Knows [Rebirth] - Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Are You Sure You Don’t Love Me…

Tang Ruibai’s gaze was a coldness Qin Yu had never seen before, as if it could freeze a person into solid ice.

Qin Yu had never been looked at by Tang Ruibai with such eyes. Even when they quarreled, or even when they divorced, Tang Ruibai had always been composed and calm, with a lingering affection for her hidden in the corners of her eyes and brows.

Others might not have seen it, but Qin Yu could understand it.

This was also one of the reasons why, after the divorce, Qin Yu had gathered the courage to message Tang Ruibai again, wanting to give it another try. Qin Yu wasn’t the type to blindly force herself upon someone who didn’t like her and cause them unnecessary trouble.

But Tang Ruibai was different.

Tang Ruibai had always had feelings for her. At first, she thought it was just because they were physically compatible and had complementary personalities, but the longer they spent together, the more Qin Yu felt that Tang Ruibai loved her. It was a deep, profound love that she couldn’t express in words.

Because Tang Ruibai was an introverted person, whether she liked or hated something, she was accustomed to responding with silence. This was how Qin Yu had always understood her.

However, in their subsequent daily interactions and their increasingly rare meetings, Qin Yu began to feel uncertain about Tang Ruibai’s love. After their divorce, Qin Yu even felt she might have been sentimentalizing things. When Tang Ruibai looked at anyone, there was a hint of affection in her eyes.

Particularly during Tang Ruibai’s roadshow promotions, when she stood next to her co-star Shen Mingfei, countless “CP” fans edited videos of them. The CP Super Topic surpassed a million fans overnight, directly crushing every other ship in the domestic entertainment industry. For a time, their momentum was unparalleled, becoming a force that even the “solo” fans of both stars dared not provoke. Even when Tang Ruibai collaborated on a music video with her industry friend Feng Baozhu, Tang Ruibai’s gaze was far from “innocent.”

So, Qin Yu became unsure if Tang Ruibai’s love for her was unique. Despite this, she still sent that reconciliation message. She still felt Tang Ruibai loved her… otherwise, what else was she supposed to do? She couldn’t forget Tang Ruibai.

But at this moment, Qin Yu—carrying a heart full of love and expectation—met the seventeen-year-old Tang Ruibai. She had an impulse to hold her tight, to meld her into her own flesh and blood, yet she met such a pair of eyes. It was like a bucket of cold water poured over her head, washing away all of Qin Yu’s love and hope into a mess.

After a brief moment of disappointment, Qin Yu snapped back to reality. This was the seventeen-year-old Tang Ruibai. She hadn’t met her yet; it was normal for her not to like her. Given Tang Ruibai’s current situation, being defensive and wary of a stranger was perfectly natural.

It was she who had been presumptuous.

Qin Yu quickly convinced herself, her gaze fixed intently on Tang Ruibai.

Tang Ruibai leaned against the wall, breathing carefully. Even her coughing fits were small, for fear of coughing up her internal organs. Every part of her body hurt, to the point where she couldn’t distinguish where she was most seriously injured.

However, as per usual, she would be fine after a few days of recovery and wouldn’t even leave a scar. Perhaps because she had grown up being beaten, her body’s self-healing ability was exceptionally strong.

Tang Ruibai could feel Qin Yu watching her, but she didn’t want to meet her eyes at all. First, they didn’t know each other, let alone being familiar. Second, a person like Qin Yu was worlds apart from her; why seek humiliation? Third, she didn’t want Qin Yu to see her in this wretched state.

Two people who had no intersection should have just passed each other by, even if they met in a scene like this. They shouldn’t be chatting here. What was there to talk about?

Tang Ruibai didn’t want to talk, so she became even more indifferent. “What are you looking at? Get lost.”

As she spoke, the smell of blood diffused from her mouth, pulling at the wound on the corner of her lips, making the pain more prominent. Within this pain was the embarrassment of being seen in such a pathetic state by the person she secretly liked.

Tang Ruibai grew more irritated, her expression turning colder. It was like a high wall suddenly being erected.

Qin Yu noticed the change and asked in a low voice: “Does it hurt?”

The light from the flashlight fell between them. Because Qin Yu’s hand was unsteady, the light flickered back and forth. Qin Yu could see Tang Ruibai’s loose, blood-stained hair, her bruised and slightly swollen face, and the dried blood on her exposed collarbone. Qin Yu didn’t dare touch her and could only ask cautiously.

Tang Ruibai didn’t answer. She closed her eyes to rest, intending to leave once she regained some strength.

Qin Yu wasn’t annoyed. She took out mineral water, small buns, wet wipes, and tissues from her backpack, looking like she was about to open a convenience store. She placed her phone face down on the ground so the reflected light was dimmer.

Normally, Qin Yu should have been afraid of such an environment, but after experiencing Tang Ruibai’s death, she felt a sense of security just being alone with her. She didn’t care at all about the darkness around them.

Qin Yu first pulled out two wet wipes and reached out to wipe the blood from Tang Ruibai’s face, but her hand was swatted away the moment she extended it. The disgust and coldness in Tang Ruibai’s eyes were as thick as an unmovable mist.

Qin Yu’s heart ached, but she lowered her eyes and said softly: “Can you wipe it yourself?”

Although she really wanted to wipe Tang Ruibai’s face, Tang Ruibai was clearly acting like a hedgehog—the closer one got, the more they would be pricked. Qin Yu wasn’t afraid of being pricked; she was only afraid of Tang Ruibai distancing herself.

Tang Ruibai remained silent. If it weren’t for the faint sound of breathing, Qin Yu would have truly feared she was dead. Even so, Qin Yu remained anxious. After a moment of hesitation, she reached out again, using a gentle, coaxing tone: “I’ll just wipe the blood off your face. Very gently, I promise I won’t hurt you, okay?”

Qin Yu rarely spoke to Tang Ruibai in this tone. Tang Ruibai was an exceptionally strong person; in Qin Yu’s memory, there was almost nothing she was afraid of. Qin Yu was afraid of the dark, snakes, and bitterness, but Tang Ruibai feared none of those.

So in daily life, Qin Yu basically never had to coax her. Usually, the only times she used a soft voice were when Tang Ruibai was sick or in bed.

Even when sick, Tang Ruibai wasn’t the type to be weak and unable to care for herself. As long as she was given medicine, whether Chinese or Western, she would swallow it without blinking. But Qin Yu’s heart ached. Seeing the usually meticulous Tang Ruibai lying listlessly in bed, developing a fever in the middle of the night and sleeping fitfully, Qin Yu would soften her voice to coax her, just like coaxing a child.

Tang Ruibai was initially a bit awkward about it, telling her not to talk like that, but Qin Yu couldn’t help it. Her gentle eyes were filled with heartache for her. Tang Ruibai eventually compromised.

It had been over half a year—nearly a year—since their divorce. And it had been at least two years since Qin Yu had spoken to Tang Ruibai in such a soft way.

Qin Yu said it naturally and didn’t think much of it; her sense of relief far outweighed any concern for her pride. Now, forget coaxing her; even if Tang Ruibai slapped her twice, she could smile and praise her for having strength. After all… this was a Tang Ruibai returned from the dead. A Tang Ruibai she had never seen. A Tang Ruibai she never knew had lived such a bitter life.

Previously, she thought Tang Ruibai simply loved acting, which was why she showed no fear while suspended on high-altitude wires despite having a slight fear of heights, and never uttered a sound when she broke her arm during an action scene. Now she realized how naive she had been.

At the time, seeing Tang Ruibai with a cast on her arm, she couldn’t help but ask out of heartache: “It must have hurt so much, right?” Tang Ruibai had replied nonchalantly: “It was okay, it didn’t hurt.”

Qin Yu had thought she was just acting tough. Only now did she understand—it wasn’t that it didn’t hurt; it was that she had already experienced far worse pain. Having endured these things, what they experienced during filming was nothing to Tang Ruibai.

Qin Yu couldn’t imagine how a seventeen-year-old girl could be injured like this. If she hadn’t walked down this alley tonight, what would Tang Ruibai have experienced? Just the thought of it gave Qin Yu a lingering fear. Consequently, her gaze toward Tang Ruibai became even more intense, as if she wanted to drown her in her eyes.

Tang Ruibai didn’t know why she was looking at her like that. They didn’t know each other, did they? Only she had unilaterally seen her, noticed her, and liked her. Tang Ruibai didn’t think there was anything about her that deserved the attention of a “favored daughter of heaven” like Qin Yu. Could it be a natural kindness?

It was possible. Qin Yu was an optimistic, cheerful, kind, and warm-hearted girl. If a homeless stray dog were lying here tonight, Qin Yu would probably help bandage its wounds. Tang Ruibai found a rational excuse for Qin Yu’s abnormal reaction.

But she still couldn’t stand being so close to Qin Yu. She was used to these dark days—being beaten, going hungry, being bullied—it was no big deal. But if someone helped her, if someone bandaged her wounds… she would cry.

Tang Ruibai thought that gaining and then losing was much more cruel than never having at all. So she would rather never have. If she accepted Qin Yu’s help this time, what about next time? She wouldn’t be able to help herself from looking for Qin Yu. She would try every means to make Qin Yu help her; she would want to trap Qin Yu, to make Qin Yu only look at her.

Tang Ruibai knew she wasn’t a good person. What kind of “good person” could be raised by a piece of trash like Tang Mu? But as for Qin Yu… she wouldn’t dare to dream.

Tang Ruibai exhaled a soft breath; even the air she breathed out felt cold. When she spoke again, her voice was even colder: “I told you to get lost. Can’t you hear me?”

Qin Yu shook her head: “I can’t hear you. I’m not going to get lost, Tang Ruibai.”

She had finally found her Tang Ruibai.

Qin Yu had very gentle eyes. When she stared directly at someone, she looked incredibly affectionate. At this moment, her eyes were brimming with hot tears and rimmed with red. She looked quite moving.

But… Tang Ruibai stared at her coldly: “You know me?”

She had been in too much pain earlier to notice, but recalling it now, it seemed absurd. The moment Qin Yu brushed back her hair, she had cried out her name in surprise, and her gaze was so intense, as if they were very close. And now she was calling her by name again. This certain manner made Tang Ruibai doubt—were they close?

No.

Tang Ruibai trusted her own memory and judgment more. Her sharp gaze was like a knife. “Who are you?”

“Qin Yu.” Qin Yu had just been reborn today and was desperate to see Tang Ruibai. She had started searching without even thinking of an excuse, forgetting she was now the seventeen-year-old Qin Yu. Currently, she and Tang Ruibai had never met and did not know each other. So all her abnormal reactions… required a rational explanation.

“I’m from No. 2 Middle School,” Qin Yu added dryly. In her mind, scenes from past roles she had acted in kept flashing by. She sifted through all sorts of ridiculous excuses, and finally, in a moment of desperate inspiration, she said:

“I had a dream. The dream said if I came to Mingchao Middle School today to find you, I’d get into Peking University.”

Qin Yu lowered her head after speaking. She didn’t lie often. Moreover, whenever she lied, the tips of her ears would subconsciously turn red. That was why she never succeeded in deceiving Tang Ruibai in the past.

The only time she had successfully lied to Tang Ruibai was before their divorce. Tang Ruibai had asked her: “Are you sure you don’t love me anymore?”

Qin Yu had asked back: “Do you still love me?”

Tang Ruibai had looked at her in silence. Those eyes, so full of history, seemed to want to pierce through her eyes and see into her soul. Tang Ruibai didn’t answer. In the stalemate, Qin Yu understood. Tang Ruibai wanted to divorce her, so what right did she have to make her stay?

So she answered firmly and cruelly: “I don’t love you.”

Qin Yu’s heart was bleeding. She told a lie, but her ears didn’t turn red—because at the time, her eyes were already red. She said word by word: “Tang Ruibai, I don’t love you anymore.”

Qin Yu thought that was the result Tang Ruibai wanted. Even though she was miserable, she gave Tang Ruibai what she wanted. It turned out Tang Ruibai wasn’t happy.

When the twenty-seven-year-old Qin Yu faced Tang Ruibai, she had a certain sense of being in control. But the Qin Yu whose biological condition was only seventeen, facing the seventeen-year-old Tang Ruibai, was left with nothing but losing.

Luckily, Tang Ruibai didn’t notice.

After a long silence, Tang Ruibai sneered: “Why don’t you say you have a secret crush on me? Wouldn’t that lie be more believable?”

Qin Yu: “…”

Qin Yu’s eyes suddenly lit up. When she looked at Tang Ruibai again, she shone with a light of delightful surprise—

A young brain really is useful!