No One Knows [Rebirth] - Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Finding Tang Ruibai…

Qin Yu’s heart felt as if it were being twisted by a blade, yet she forced herself to remain steady, organizing every detail of Tang Ruibai’s funeral in an orderly fashion.

Autumn is a season of frequent rain, and the day of Tang Ruibai’s funeral was no exception.

Amidst a pitter-patter of autumn rain, Qin Yu carried Tang Ruibai’s ashes from the foot of the mountain to the cemetery. She placed them into the casket, which was then sealed and covered with earth.

This wasn’t the first funeral Qin Yu had experienced; she had also placed her parents’ ashes into their caskets. Back then, she was young and had a chip on her shoulder. She was angry at them for leaving her behind, angry at the massive debts they left, and even angrier at her own inability to help.

But now, as she grew older, facing the death of the person she loved left her with nothing but remorse and agony. There was only the loneliness and helplessness one feels when confronting time, life, and death.

When she placed Tang Ruibai’s urn into the casket, her hands wouldn’t stop shaking—her entire body was trembling. She felt she couldn’t stand steadily and even harbored the thought of lying down inside with her.

But she endured.

This autumn rain reminded Qin Yu of the day she and Tang Ruibai registered their marriage. It was a rainy day just like this, in the second year after the same-sex marriage law was enacted, when they went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get their marriage certificate.

When they came out with the certificate, Qin Yu put a diamond ring on Tang Ruibai’s finger. Qin Yu held her and said, “I’ve marked you; from now on, you’re mine.”

Tang Ruibai had smiled faintly: “Alright.”

But in the end, they were separated by life and death.

Only now did Qin Yu realize how little she knew about Tang Ruibai. The “deep affection” she thought she possessed felt like a cruel joke.

The mourners gradually dispersed. As evening fell, Qin Yu stood before Tang Ruibai’s grave for a very, very long time. It wasn’t until Chen Shuang held an umbrella over her and whispered: “Yu-jie, we have a flight to Qingzhou City at 9:00 PM.”

Today was the last day of rest Tang Yunxi could win for her. Even though public opinion online was in an uproar and partners were incessantly apologizing, Qin Yu hadn’t paid any of it the slightest bit of attention. But tomorrow, she had to pull herself together for work.

After a long while, Qin Yu asked in a muffled voice: “Tell me, how would she want me to live on?”

Chen Shuang paused. “As if nothing happened. To live well.”

It did indeed sound very much like Tang Ruibai’s style. She wanted nothing more than for the whole world to forget her, to live as if she had never existed. Chen Shuang was truly a qualified fan.

But…

“She’s dead. How am I supposed to live well?” Qin Yu murmured.

Between the sound of the rain and the wind, Chen Shuang didn’t hear clearly. “What?”

Qin Yu didn’t say anything more. She would never get an answer. Tang Ruibai hadn’t given her an answer from beginning to end.

Qin Yu used to think that she and Tang Ruibai shared a relationship of mutual support, that they were lovers without secrets. Although they rarely expressed their love, Tang Ruibai was all that was left in Qin Yu’s world. Qin Yu thought Tang Ruibai understood this.

But she had divorced Tang Ruibai.

Qin Yu used to think that if Tang Ruibai were to die, it couldn’t possibly be suicide, because she was a very resilient person. She didn’t blink an eye when suspended from high-altitude wires; she didn’t make a sound when a prop hit her forehead and drew blood during filming; she even downed bitter Chinese medicine in one gulp without even furrowing her brows.

Yet such a person committed suicide. All of Qin Yu’s self-righteous assumptions were slapped hard by reality.

Qin Yu followed Chen Shuang out of the cemetery, but she was like a withered flower, devoid of life. While walking down the steps, she accidentally missed her footing, and the world began to spin before her eyes.

She heard Chen Shuang’s panicked voice: “Yu-jie…”

Qin Yu thought, Let it be. She missed Tang Ruibai so, so much. If closing her eyes meant she could see Tang Ruibai, she was willing.

“Ling Feng, you’re dead meat!”

“Help! Oh my god! Qin-jie, wake up! I was wrong, I was wrong!”

“Ling Feng, I’m going to kill you! If anything happens to Qin-jie today, I’ll slap you so hard you’ll fly.”

“Quick, call 120…”

The noisy voices near her ear gave Qin Yu a splitting headache. Even though she had adapted to such sounds over the years during various offline events, after a week of total silence, the sudden noise was naturally irritating and annoying.

Qin Yu suppressed the pain and slowly opened her eyes.

“She’s awake!” Ling Feng shouted suddenly, only to be pinched hard by the girl next to him. “Keep your voice down!”

Qin Yu saw them and froze for several seconds—

Ling Feng, who worked as a lawyer at a Red Circle firm; Qi Miaoyan, who went abroad for her PhD; and a group of familiar classmates, as well as… Lu Xin, who had already passed away.

Am I dead?

Qin Yu quickly dismissed her guess. It was impossible for Ling Feng and Qi Miaoyan to be dead when she died.

“It’s over,” Qi Miaoyan said, waving a hand in front of Qin Yu’s face. “Qin-jie has gone stupid. Ling Feng, you’re dying today.”

Qin Yu grabbed Qi Miaoyan’s wrist and looked up at her: “What are you doing?”

Her tone was distant and her gaze was cold. Qi Miaoyan’s eyes immediately turned red. “Qin-jie, don’t scare me. It’s fine if you scare Ling Feng, but we’re so close, don’t scare me too…”

Ever since she met Qin Yu, Qi Miaoyan had never seen her like this. Usually, Qin Yu was like a little sun—bright, cheerful, gentle, and inclusive. Although they were peers, Qin Yu had a “big sister” vibe about her. That’s why their group called her “Qin-jie.”

But now, Qin Yu was suddenly being cold to her.

“Could it be amnesia?” Ling Feng asked cautiously. “Qin-jie, do you still remember who I am?”

“Ling Feng,” Qin Yu said.

“Well, no amnesia then.” Just as Ling Feng was about to say more, a melodious bell rang, followed by an unappealing mechanical female voice: “Students, it is time for class. Please return to the classroom as quickly as possible and prepare for lessons.”

Hearing this voice, Qin Yu stared blankly at Ling Feng, then scanned Qi Miaoyan, Lu Xin, and other classmates unnaturally before looking down at herself.

Oh, I’m wearing a blue and white school uniform.

Soon, the English teacher walked into the classroom. Seeing so many people gathered at the back of the room, she rolled up a textbook and tapped it on a desk. “Not going back to your seats? Are you holding a meeting back there?”

“Teacher, Qin Yu got hit—” Before Ling Feng could finish, Qin Yu stood up swiftly, brushed the dust off her pants, and walked straight forward: “Teacher, I’m fine.”

Qin Yu sat down neatly in the corner of the last row. Everyone froze. The teacher was the first to recover, tapping the desk one step away from the podium with her book: “Qin Yu, your seat is here.”

Qin Yu stood up calmly and moved to the first row to sit down. She pulled out her English book and opened it, only to see her own lazy handwriting:

“Lan City No. 2 Middle School Grade 11 (Class 6) Qin Yu”

Qin Yu spent the entire class absorbing the fact of her rebirth and took the time to listen to the teacher’s lecture. Many things felt both familiar and strange. Qin Yu should have been anxious, but instead, she felt very calm.

Qin Yu thought, This is heaven giving me a chance to start over. As expected, heaven also thought her life had been too bitter. So, it sent her directly back to her second year of high school—the year before her family’s business went south and while her parents were still alive and healthy.

The class lasted forty-five minutes, plus five minutes of the teacher running overtime. After class, Qin Yu’s desk was once again surrounded by people.

“Qin-jie, how are you? Does your head still hurt?” Ling Feng leaned in to ask. Qi Miaoyan watched eagerly, trying to find the usual gentleness on Qin Yu’s beautiful face.

“I’m fine.” Qin Yu touched the back of her head; it throbbed faintly, but compared to the fact that she had been reborn at seventeen, it was trivial.

Qin Yu had kept in touch with these high school friends over the years, but as an actor working nights and sleeping days with an upside-down schedule, she never had a moment of rest throughout the year. Ling Feng was also buried in work at the law firm; even though they both lived in Beicheng, they had only met once in three years. And that meeting had ended abruptly because Qin Yu ran into fans and Ling Feng received a call from his boss.

Qi Miaoyan was even worse—she had applied for clinical medicine (which even dogs would shake their heads at). After studying in domestic medical schools for eight years, she applied for a medical PhD at the University of Munich. Every time Qin Yu video-called her, she was either miserably writing papers or looking soul-dead in a lab.

Counting carefully, they hadn’t seen each other much since high school graduation. But they were friends Qin Yu cherished from the bottom of her heart. Seeing them now in school uniforms, chirping around her desk out of concern, Qin Yu couldn’t help but give an “auntie-like” smile: “Really, I’m fine. Don’t feel guilty.”

“Qin-jie, you…” Ling Feng clutched his chest. Seeing a 180cm tall boy make such a gesture made Qi Miaoyan roll her eyes. “Ling Feng, aren’t you disgusting?”

Lu Xin quietly handed Qin Yu an ice pack. “I got it from the canteen. Apply it.”

Qin Yu said thanks, but before they could say more, the bell rang again. It was the fourth class of the afternoon. Normally, school would end after this class, but that was for elementary students. High schoolers had evening self-study, but Qin Yu was in no mood for it.

As soon as the bell rang, she stuffed a few books into her bag and said to Ling Feng and Qi Miaoyan: “I’m not feeling well, so I’m going home early. Help me ask the class teacher for leave, thanks.”

Before Ling Feng or Qi Miaoyan could ask anything, Qin Yu walked out of the classroom. Ling Feng and Qi Miaoyan looked at each other blankly, while Lu Xin lowered her head to read a novel in silence.

“Wait, Qin-jie is skipping class?” After a long while, Ling Feng asked in surprise.

“Seems like it?” Qi Miaoyan wasn’t sure either, but she glared at Ling Feng. “It’s definitely because you hit Qin-jie’s head too hard.”

Ling Feng threw his hands up innocently: “How was I supposed to know Qin-jie was just standing there motionless?”

“Bah! I told you long ago not to play basketball in the classroom; you’re acting sick every day.”

Qi Miaoyan grit her teeth: “If Qin-jie is still like this tomorrow, I’m breaking off our friendship.”

“Hey? Why? What’s wrong with Qin-jie? What’s the problem other than skipping class? She’s alive and kicking.” Ling Feng turned to Lu Xin for backup. “Xin-xin, tell her—didn’t Qin-jie just run out like a rabbit?”

Lu Xin looked up in confusion, biting a piece of dried meat. “Huh?”

“Ignore him.” Qi Miaoyan put all the snacks from her desk into Lu Xin’s lap, stroking Lu Xin’s head with a gentle tone: “Eat slowly, I have more if you need.”

Ling Feng: “…?”

Lu Xin smiled at Qi Miaoyan. “You eat too.” Ling Feng shouted: “Xin-xin, I want some too.” Just as Lu Xin was about to hand some to him, Qi Miaoyan kicked him. “You want crap! Someone who hit Qin-jie’s head doesn’t deserve my snacks. I’ll kick you all the way back to Grandma’s house.”

Ling Feng resigned himself to silence, but after a while, he sighed: “Qi Miaoyan, am I still your biological brother?”

Qi Miaoyan crossed her arms. “I really wish you weren’t.”

Ling Feng: “…”

After their usual bickering, the two suddenly realized—their Qin-jie had actually skipped class. It was truly a first.

Qin Yu was unaware of the noise in the classroom, and even if she knew, she wouldn’t care. Since the day she met Ling Feng and Qi Miaoyan, the two had always been like this. Fraternal twins—they had been arguing since they were in the womb. It wouldn’t be normal if they didn’t argue.

Qin Yu’s exit from the school was exceptionally smooth. Even without a leave pass, the security guard let her through just by seeing her face. Firstly, Qin Yu’s grades were excellent and she never caused trouble; secondly, the Qin family had donated a library to the school.

Once outside, Qin Yu saw “Mingchao Middle School” situated directly across the street—a place she had never cared about during her high school days, never expecting it would leave such a profound mark on her life.

Qin Yu opened her phone and first sent a message to the family group.

“Peaceful Reunion – Family of Three and Never One More”

Qin Xiao-Yu: “@President Qin @Beautiful Ms. Wen”

Qin Xiao-Yu: “Dad, come home for dinner tonight. Mom, I want sweet and sour pork ribs, fried fresh mushrooms, steamed fish, shredded pork with green peppers, and clay pot vegetable congee!!”

As she typed these words, Qin Yu’s hands trembled slightly. She returned to the home screen to confirm the time: September 21, 2015.

She had truly returned to ten years ago.

Qin Yu didn’t dare make a video call to confirm, so she only sent text. Soon, the replies came.

President Qin: “What’s the occasion today?”

Beautiful Ms. “Wen: Arranged.”

President Qin: “You’re just spoiling her.”

Beautiful Ms. Wen: “The nanny will do it; it’s no trouble for me.”

Looking at the messages popping up on the screen, Qin Yu’s eyes felt slightly wet. Her urge to go home was uncontrollable, but she held it back.

She had to go to “Mingchao Middle School” first. She had to find Tang Ruibai.