My Secret Flower - Episode 4

From the next day, as soon as dawn broke, I would have a simple breakfast and go to my father’s study to learn how to handle documents. It wasn’t difficult since I had learned things by watching since I was young, but there were more complicated things than I thought, so I had quite a hard time.

Still, I received praise from my father for the first time, saying that I had talent considering it was my first time learning, so I was proud.

Had about fifteen days passed like that?

“Leshua.”

After finishing my morning work, I took a break and went to the guest room, massaging his legs with both hands. Then, I heard my name called in an unfamiliar voice and raised my head.

“…Are you calling me now?”

“Yes.”

Surprisingly, he wasn’t even aware that he had called my noble name so casually. I just felt like my heart stopped for a moment at the fact that he had called me.

As always, his clear, light brown eyes were fixed on me, and he gave me a faint smile for the first time.

“I wanted to thank you for saving me, but I think I missed the opportunity because I was wondering how to repay you. It feels like no words are enough for my savior.”

“…I thought you were a merman prince.”

“Merman prince?”

“I thought you might be a merman prince who had lost his voice.”

He turned his head at my words and chuckled quietly. Even that small laugh, his low voice, was as attractive as his appearance, and my heart fluttered. I felt like all my nerves were on edge, with a tingling sensation down to my fingertips.

‘This feeling is new.’

Just hearing my name called, how could I feel this way?

It was as if he was filling the empty space left by my mother’s death. I was feeling a little gloomy today because of the sadness caused by my mother’s absence, but his voice made me smile.

Isn’t it strange? I’m not someone who easily gives my heart to someone, so why do I feel so drawn to him without hesitation whenever I see him?

“What’s your name?”

“Call me Ash.”

“Ash…”

I repeated his name once more, savoring it in my mouth. I kept thinking that it was a beautiful name that suited him so well.

“Then Ash, won’t your family be looking for you?”

“Unfortunately, I’ve lost them all.”

“Ah… I see.”

I didn’t dare ask for details, fearing that he might have lost his family to the plague as well.

“Do you have a place to return to?”

“Not at the moment.”

“Then you can stay here. If you don’t have a place to return to, why not create a place to settle down?”

I was extremely realistic. So much so that my only friend, Evelyn, would stick out her tongue. So, until now, after living for twenty years, I had never believed in fate.

Until I met him.

I realized that falling in love at first sight, as soon as I saw his beautiful light brown eyes covered in blood, was this kind of feeling. I felt that feeling that Evelyn had talked about, like he was shining like a star as soon as I saw him.

She said that if your heart races just by looking at someone, and you feel a tingling sensation that sometimes hurts, that’s falling in love. I won’t deny that I’ve given my heart to him.

I like him. I want to be with him.

I wanted to get to know him a little more. For the first time, I wanted something. His heart. I wanted only me to be reflected in those kind eyes.

“How’s your leg? Tell me if it still hurts or if you feel uncomfortable anywhere.”

“It’s bearable.”

“Do you want to try walking? They said that you should move around as much as possible without overdoing it so that your muscles don’t get damaged. I’ll help you.”

After his leg wound had healed to some extent, I was told to rehabilitate by walking. I was worried, but Ash didn’t refuse, so I supported him as he limped around the room. After a few days, I thought he could handle it to some extent, so I dragged him out to the garden.

“The weather is nice today. It’s stuffy if you’re only in the room, so I’ll show you around the garden. But don’t overdo it, okay?”

I was busy watching him throughout the walk, wondering if he was in pain but not showing it. The late autumn scenery didn’t catch my eye, and I used all my senses to observe Ash’s expression and complexion.

He had been focusing on walking for a while, but he noticed my persistent gaze and stopped in his tracks, meeting my eyes.

“You’re the first person to stare at my face so intently. If it’s uncomfortable, I’ll tell you right away, so you don’t have to watch me so closely.”

“Does it bother you that I’m watching?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“The situation where you were lying down in pain for months is still vivid to me. The shock of you appearing to me covered in blood for the first time is still there. Isn’t it inevitable that I’m worried and checking on you?”

“Worried, were you?”

He seemed to be very unfamiliar with the word, as if he had never received concern in his life. That made my heart ache. I had a feeling that his life had been more difficult than I thought.

The doctor had said that he saw old scars all over his body while examining his wounds. So, I thought he hadn’t lived an easy life, but seeing his eyes shaking like that made me feel a little choked up.

Isn’t it strange? No matter how I think about it, I don’t think my heart is normal. I never thought the day would come when I would fall in love with a man I didn’t even know well, and the time I spent with him was more enjoyable and interesting than anything else.

“Why? Am I not allowed to worry?”

“…No. It’s just that it’s been so long, it felt a little unfamiliar. Until now, I thought you were wary of me because you didn’t trust me.”

“I can’t imagine you inflicting those countless wounds on yourself to harm me and then getting on my carriage? And you don’t seem like a shameless person who would ask for a reward after being saved. Believe it or not, I’m pretty good at reading people.”

In other words, I had a good intuition, so I kept my distance if I had a bad feeling. There are very few people in the world who are a perfect match for me. Besides, I was even more wary because there were many people who approached me with the intention of getting on my good side.

But I never had a bad feeling about him. The eyes of someone with an ulterior motive were distorted with greed, but his eyes were just plain and always sparkled so cleanly that my heart fluttered. I thought I could trust him to some extent just because of that.

But before that, his charm as a man seemed to have struck a chord in my heart.

“Since we’re on the subject, can I ask you just one thing?”

“If I’m not going to be shameless, shouldn’t I answer a hundred or a thousand questions? Please feel free to ask.”

“You said you had nowhere to go when you barely opened your eyes. If… if all your wounds heal and you have no problem walking on two legs, will you leave here?”

I kept wondering about that. I was afraid that he might leave suddenly, saying that he wouldn’t cause any more trouble here once he was all better.

I couldn’t force him to stay. He would have his own life. I might have feelings for him that I can’t express, but he might not feel the same way.

I managed my expression as if I didn’t expect his answer and listened to his pleasant voice.

“To be honest, I haven’t really thought about that, so I don’t know what to say. Since I’ve already lost all the places I could go back to… If I had to leave, I think I would go to a safe place.”

“A safe place. Isn’t this place safe for you to stay?”

If he had to find a place to go anyway, I thought there was no reason for him to leave. This territory is our earldom, and settling down in this territory might be safer for him than being a wanderer.

Actually, there was a bit of selfishness involved.

He seemed to be pondering for a moment, then raised his head and looked up at the clear sky. His profile, seen from the side, was as beautiful as that sky, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

“I… I quite like this place too. I can feel that it’s a very cozy and peaceful place. I don’t know if I dare stay here.”

“Take your time to think about it. I hope you’ll stay here and help me.”

I could guess that he was a swordsman just by looking at the calluses on his palms. The doctor said that his wounds didn’t seem to be the work of just one person. He probably got those wounds from fighting several people alone.

It suddenly occurred to me that he might be a mercenary. If so, I could hire him. Nevertheless, if he said he had to leave, I wouldn’t hold him back.

It would mean that our relationship was just that.

Ash didn’t answer right away either. So I didn’t ask any further and slowly inhaled the increasingly chilly autumn scent, resolving to prepare thoroughly for the coming winter.

As time passed and the new year began, he was thankfully able to walk around as if he had never been injured. He occasionally felt pain while walking, but he was healthy enough to practice swordsmanship.

“Ash-!”

When I woke up, I would wash my face and go to the training grounds before breakfast. It was to see his face, as he would always wake up early every morning despite the cold weather and practically live in the training grounds.

When I waved my hand while calling out to Ash, who was wielding his sword in the distance, he would put down his sword, wipe away his sweat with a towel, and stride towards me.

“Good morning, Lishua.”

“Good morning to you too, Ash. You’re working hard again today. I like seeing you being so consistent.”

“It’s the body you saved, so I’m eager to recover quickly. But I feel like my body is loosening up a bit now.”

“Still, don’t overdo it. It’s still a long way until spring. It’s so cold, you might get hurt again. Let’s go eat, shall we?”

Being able to face him and eat together was only possible when my father wasn’t around. He didn’t seem to like me being close to him because he was a young man. Even though Ash had never harmed me in any way.

Why does my father dislike Ash so much? He doesn’t hate him that much, but his eyes turn fierce whenever he sees Ash.

Just like that.

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