My Secret Flower - Episode 10

“I was almost a little hurt just now. I never avoided you when you were cleaning my body.”

“I’m sorry. I was just a little surprised, uh…”

As I sincerely apologized, he pressed his lower body a little closer, lightly pushing against me.

“If you’re really sorry, don’t refuse me this time and accept me. Please, joyfully.”

“……Gasp!”

It felt like being struck by lightning. An enormous foreign sensation and the pain of someone pulling hard on my skin made me gasp for breath. I bit my lip hard, as if I was about to scream, and squeezed my eyes shut.

‘It hurts…’

My body seemed to stiffen with the pain, and I tried to relax somehow, but even when I relaxed, I couldn’t get used to the sensation.

He seemed to be having a hard time too. His light brown eyes, filled with excitement, kept shaking.

“Lishua. Are you… alright?”

I could feel the difficulty in his voice as he worried about me. It made me feel sorry again, thinking that he was having as hard a time as I was.

“Just… just do it, Ash. Quickly.”

I had heard that the first time could be painful. Usually, married noblewomen would apply a painkiller mixed with a little anesthetic when spending their first night. I didn’t have time to prepare, and I was too naive to think it would be okay.

But I couldn’t stop here. No matter how painful it was, I wanted to see the end of this relationship with him, since we had started it together. Because I thought of it as our own precious time.

He seemed to understand my thoughts, as he put his arm around my back and held my shoulder tightly in place. I almost lost my mind several times in that instant.

If it was just painful, I would have cried and begged him to stop, but strangely, as much as it hurt, an unknown thrill surged through me, and I fell into pleasure.

He concentrated for a long time, then flinched and suddenly pulled back completely.

“Ugh, Ash?”

“Really…”

He groaned softly between his teeth, catching his breath as he looked straight down at me. My heart sank, wondering if he was angry, but then I heard a hollow laugh, which confused me.

“Why are you laughing…?”

“I feel bad for making things difficult for you because I was being short-sighted. I’ll get some painkillers next time and we’ll have to do it again. Let’s call today invalid.”

“What? Invalid? There’s no such thing as—”

“Think carefully about who’s looking like they’re about to die. Anyway, I can’t do any more than this. I can’t let us both die, can I?”

I didn’t realize what that meant until one day when we were having our second time.

The day after our incomplete first night. Early morning.

“Ugh, ugh… Ah, gently… slowly!”

“Shh. You’re being too loud, Lishua.”

Today, as always, the warm sunlight of the rising sun was shining brightly into the room. The wind blowing through the open window was stirring the bedroom curtains in disarray. Even though it was a hot summer, the back of my room was near the mountains, so a fairly cool breeze was blowing.

Nevertheless, it was not enough to cool down the heated bedroom.

I was lying face down on the soft bed, without a stitch of clothing on. I couldn’t control my trembling body, so I squeezed the blanket tightly. I bit down hard on the pillow to try not to make any noise, but I couldn’t completely stop the painful moans that leaked out of my throat.

“Ugh, ugh, uh… Ash, ah…”

I could hear Ash’s muffled laughter as he rode on my back. Thanks to that, the tips of my ears turned hot.

I don’t know how this situation came about. I’m so frustrated that I want to scream and jump up and down, but I’m upset because I don’t even have the energy to do that.

I was sure that I didn’t know it would hurt this much until dawn.

“Does it hurt a lot?”

“It feels like you’re, huh… butchering my muscles.”

“I feel bad. I can’t even take the pain for you.”

Even so, he keeps chuckling. I wanted to glare at him for being so annoying, but I couldn’t even move my neck and shoulders easily right now.

Just yesterday. Ash, who had been away from our estate, returned to my side after nearly four months. Last night, I had the first time I had been so eagerly waiting for with him, who had asked me to accept him as my lover if he returned safely.

To be honest about the first night… yes, it felt like my body was being torn apart, just like people say. I had expected it, but I never imagined it would hurt that much.

I felt the pleasure of being dazed by the sweet and intense kisses and the thrilling sensations of his caresses. I knew for sure that it was a joyful act that could not be compared to tasting any delicacies.

But opening the secret door between men and women and meeting each other was not easy. Everything was a first experience, so I was confused, but I clearly remember accepting him.

‘It was big, though. Very.’

The feeling of being pierced for the first time in my life was like driving a stake into frozen ground. It really hurt, without exaggeration. I’m just glad I didn’t pass out.

I wanted to kick him with my foot, but I didn’t want to ruin this day, which would be remembered as our first, so I tried to bear it. Thanks to that, I feel like my body is not in one piece now. My shoulders are stiff and my back hurts.

In the end, we couldn’t finish and lay side by side, comforting each other for the days we had missed each other. Then we fell asleep, and while tossing and turning, I woke up from the throbbing muscle pain.

It was the first time I felt like my body wasn’t my own. Even moving my body was not up to me. Ash massaged me diligently, which helped to relieve it a little.

“Your shoulders are very stiff. Should I get some medicine if the muscle pain gets worse?”

“No, it’s okay. If I say I’m in pain, the nanny might ask me all sorts of questions.”

His touch as he climbed on top of me, who was lying face down, and gently massaged my shoulders was very soft. So much so that I was reminded of the lewd touch that caressed my body yesterday.

Isn’t it strange? It was so painful and agonizing, but his body temperature and touch on my skin gradually warmed my lower abdomen.

“Lishua.”

“Ugh!”

Just as lewd sensations and memories were coming back to me, Ash’s voice was heard in my ear, and I was startled. At the same time, my back throbbed again, and I groaned.

“Why are you so surprised? Were you having some lewd thoughts?”

He laughs softly and asks a mischievous question as if he had read my mind. My heart was pounding for no reason, and my throat was parched.

“Don’t you think your hands are too lewd? It seems like you’re the one having lewd thoughts, Ash.”

“I won’t deny it. Just looking at your beautiful skin and beautiful body, the little beast inside me is running wild on its own.”

He reveals his inner thoughts without a care and lets out a lewd breath. For some reason, I was happy with his new appearance, and a smile naturally formed on my face. I liked it when he was subtly wary and kept a proper distance at first, but I like him even more now that he’s craving my affection like this.

“Let it run wild. There’s no reason to suppress it, is there?”

“…I have more than enough desire to do that, but I’ll hold back until this muscle pain is gone. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

I really don’t know why he only says such pretty things. I’m a little disappointed, but I felt so loved that I was satisfied with just that.

‘He might be a gift my mother sent me.’

But apart from that, it’s the first time in my life that I’ve been in so much pain, so I’m frustrated to death. So, I poured out all the complaints I had never made to anyone before.

“I can’t walk because my back hurts. It’s the first time this has ever happened! Hold me. I need to stand up.”

I grabbed his hand and barely got out of bed and stood on my two feet, but my legs were shaking and my back was throbbing so much. I was sweating just trying to stand on my own.

Unlike me, Ash, who was perfectly fine, wrapped his arm around my waist and leaned me against him, then lowered his head and kissed me on the forehead.

“I clearly said that it might hurt if you didn’t relax. I’m glad it ended there, or I would have had no face to see the Count.”

“…Why did you stop yesterday?”

“Are you asking that even after experiencing this situation?”

He smiled softly and touched my cheek with his finger. I’m sure there was another reason besides what I felt yesterday.

Knock knock.

Then there was a knock on the door, and I was startled. Could it be the nanny?

“Ahem, miss. Did you cough?”

The nanny’s voice was full of laughter beyond the door. She would have come in and asked if it was normal, but does the nanny know that Ash arrived yesterday? That Ash spent the night in my room?

‘I feel like I’ve done something embarrassing.’

I glanced at Ash standing next to me and slowly looked down. His handsome naked body was too good to look at, but the situation was like this. For no reason, I swallowed hard.

“…Should I hide?”

“Did I commit a crime?”

“No, it’s not that, but I don’t think I’ll get a good word from the nanny. Or should I get dressed?”

Only then did he sit me back on the bed and go into the dressing room to get a gown. He put it on me, tied the waist belt, and kissed me lightly.

“Did you say that the nanny is like another mother to you? It wouldn’t be good to be hated by her. First, take a shower.”

“Then I’ll guide you to some clothes to change into and your room. You’ll need to wash up too.”

I regretted that short kiss just now. I also think I was stupid to just complain because I was in so much pain as soon as I opened my eyes in the morning.

“Ash. Kiss me.”

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