Marriage at Thirty - Chapter 36

It was August, and the midsummer heat—the Sanfutian—hadn’t passed. The sun was still a tormenting instrument.

Lin Ran had been practically confined to the house for a week, not daring to go out. She spent her days in the air-conditioned room painting, playing on her phone, and skipping lunch at the cafeteria.

However, she had to go out this Sunday—it was Uncle Liu’s birthday.

Fu Linling went with her for lunch. Lin Ran couldn’t think of a good gift for Uncle Liu, so she simply gave him a large red envelope.

Liu Cen was also there. She was currently working a summer job and squeezed in time to have lunch before rushing back to work.

Near evening, Fu Linling also said goodbye and prepared to leave alone.

“Dinner is almost ready. Where are you going?” Zhang Wu asked with concern.

Lin Ran said: “Her junior colleague also has a birthday today. They are having a gathering tonight.”

“Oh, I see. Well, you go on then,” Zhang Wu said.

Lin Ran reminded her: “Remember to pick up the cake before you go.”

“Okay.”

Fu Linling first went to the bakery. After picking up the cake, she headed to the restaurant.

She was the only one who showed up for the appointment.

As a newcomer, Feng Ming’s only old friend was Fu Linling. She hadn’t fully bonded with her new colleagues and was worried that mentioning her birthday would seem like she was soliciting gifts, so she didn’t remind anyone.

Fu Linling, however, remembered. When they were in school, Feng Ming was the only one who remembered her birthday, so naturally, she remembered Feng Ming’s. Furthermore, they were colleagues now.

“It’s just the two of us. Why did you buy such a big cake?” Feng Ming laughed.

“Ran Ran ordered it. She said it was for good cheer. She had family obligations, or she would have come too,” Fu Linling said, setting down the cake.

Feng Ming paused, looked at the cake, and managed a smile: “Please thank her for the thought.”

Fu Linling hadn’t brought a gift. They had agreed in school to just share a meal to celebrate birthdays and avoid the formalities, believing that too many social obligations were troublesome.

After dinner, Feng Ming checked the time. It was still early and she asked tentatively: “Where to next?”

“You’re the birthday girl. You decide.”

Feng Ming pondered for a moment, then asked excitedly: “Senior Sister, have you ever been to a bar?”

“No.”

“Me neither.”

“You didn’t go to a bar even when you were abroad?”

“No. I didn’t dare to go alone, and I didn’t have much interaction with my roommates. How about… we try it?”

Fu Linling hadn’t expected this hint of mid-life rebellion from her, so the two drove to the nearest bar.

It was a quiet bar located by a small man-made lake. A resident singer was softly crooning a love song, and the patrons sat in small groups.

Feng Ming found a corner table by the lake, which was quieter than the other spots.

As they sat there with nothing to do, Fu Linling suggested: “Let’s cut the cake.”

“Okay.”

Feng Ming cut two slices of cake. Just as she was about to hand one to Fu Linling, she remembered something: “How much can you eat? Did I cut too much?”

“It’s fine. This much is okay.” Fu Linling took the slice and tasted it with a spoon. She frowned slightly, tried another tentative bite, and frowned again.

“Don’t eat it if you don’t like it,” Feng Ming said with a laugh.

“Ran Ran said this one was delicious… It’s still a little too sweet,” Fu Linling said.

Feng Ming, on the other hand, loved it and quickly finished a large plate. Watching Fu Linling take tiny sips, she couldn’t help but laugh: “Senior Sister, don’t force yourself.”

“I’m not forcing myself. I’m experimenting. What if I grow to like it as I eat it?” Fu Linling said.

Feng Ming’s smile slowly faded: “Just like your marriage?”

Fu Linling looked at her blankly.

“Keep trying, and you’ll grow to like it…”

Fu Linling thought about it. That didn’t seem wrong. She smiled to herself and continued to sip her cake.

Feng Ming watched her force herself to eat something she didn’t like, and her feelings grew complex. She didn’t want to see her Senior Sister change for anyone else.

“Senior Sister, are you and Lin Ran a good match?”

“What do you mean?” Fu Linling asked, puzzled.

“I mean with things like lifestyle habits, common topics… I don’t feel like you two are a good match?”

“One must believe in facts, not feelings,” Fu Linling said. Her phone suddenly vibrated twice.

It was a picture of dinner from Lin Ran, along with a photo of her entire family.

Fu Linling lowered her head to reply to the message.

Feng Ming watched her smiling profile, picked up her drink, and took two sips. It burned her throat. She immediately put it down, but after the burning sensation passed, she couldn’t resist taking another sip. The fiery sensation went straight to her head, making her eyes sting with tears.

Fu Linling chatted with Lin Ran for a while, then looked up and saw tears welling in Feng Ming’s eyes: “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Feng Ming wiped her eyes. “Are you chatting with Lin Ran?”

“Mhm.”

“She’s actually a nice girl.”

“She is,” Fu Linling said, smiling as she looked out at the lake.

Feng Ming picked up her drink, took another sip, and tears sprang out again as she set the glass down.

“Stop drinking,” Fu Linling saw the source of her tears and reached out to stop her hand.

“It tastes good. It’s got a kick to it.” Feng Ming brushed her hand away and took another sip. She laughed, but a single tear fell, making the smile look desolate.

At that moment, the singer began to sing an old song. Fu Linling turned her head, listened for a moment, and then asked: “Do you still like this song?”

Tears suddenly streamed down Feng Ming’s face. It wasn’t the alcohol that was triggering her tears, but the memory.

This was the song Feng Ming loved most when they were in school. She still remembered it.

She remembered her birthday, remembered the song she loved, yet she married someone else.

Fu Linling watched the singer for a bit, then suddenly heard a restrained sob. She turned back in confusion, startled by the tears on Feng Ming’s face. She quickly grabbed a tissue to wipe her tears: “Is this alcohol really that potent?”

Feng Ming shook her head, burying her face to wipe her tears. After a long moment, she choked out: “Senior Sister, if I hadn’t gone abroad back then… would you have married me?”

Fu Linling looked bewildered: “I don’t quite understand what you mean.”

“You lied to me! You lied to all of us! When that girl confessed to you, you kept saying you didn’t like women. I was scared. I avoided you. I decided to forget you and ran off to America for school. But… but as soon as I returned, I couldn’t help but look for you, and yet you married another woman!” Feng Ming blurted out, feeling a sense of catharsis.

Fu Linling’s pupils contracted. She stared at her in disbelief.

“If… I’m saying if… if we had gotten married, would you have tried to cultivate feelings with me too? We have so much in common. We could go to work together, do research together, cook together… would you have also fallen for me?” Feng Ming asked.

Fu Linling’s fingers trembled. She looked into Feng Ming’s eyes for a long time and realized, with a start, that she barely knew this person. How could the intelligent and proud Feng Ming have such an expression?

“Answer me.”

“No,” Fu Linling replied. “If I hadn’t met Lin Ran, I wouldn’t have had any intention of getting married at all.”

“Why? I was the one who met you first, I was the one who liked you first…” Feng Ming’s voice trailed off, too low for anyone but herself to hear.

At that moment, Fu Linling’s phone suddenly rang. It was a surprising call—from Qingzi.

“Are you with Ran Ran?”

“No. What’s wrong?”

“I need to talk to her about something, but I can’t reach her. Can you help me find her?”

“Okay.” Fu Linling hung up and tried calling Lin Ran, but there was no answer. She then called Zhang Wu, who said Lin Ran had just gone out without her phone and didn’t know where she went.

Fu Linling became restless.

“Go find her,” Feng Ming said.

“How will you get back?”

“I’m not drunk,” Feng Ming said, wiping her tears and looking sober. “Everything that needed to be said has been said. There’s nothing left. Go find her. I’ll call a taxi in a bit.”

“I’ll call you a designated driver.” Fu Linling called the service. She stood up to leave, then turned back and said: “We’ll discuss today’s events properly tomorrow, after you’ve sobered up.”

“Who said I want to discuss anything with you?” Feng Ming waved her hand without turning around.

Fu Linling left.

Feng Ming wiped her face and sat up straight. The waiter suddenly placed a drink next to her.

“I didn’t order this,” Feng Ming said.

“The lady over there ordered it for you,” the waiter pointed diagonally ahead.

A waist-high wine cabinet stood in the middle of the room. Feng Ming looked over and saw a woman raise a glass to her from across the room.

She picked up the drink, walked towards that table, and the woman offered an unreadable smile.

Feng Ming looked at the woman, unsure if she was sending an ambiguous signal or if she had overheard their conversation and was mocking her.

She silently placed the drink in front of the woman, turned, and left the bar.

Fu Linling hurried to Uncle Liu’s house and found Lin Ran watching TV with the elderly couple. She sighed in relief: “Where were you just now?”

“I wanted to go downstairs to buy something to eat, but I forgot my phone. Why were you looking for me?” Lin Ran asked.

“Qingzi said she needed to talk to you. Give her a call back.”

“Oh, okay.” Lin Ran walked aside to call Qingzi. She quickly returned: “She wants me to go to the studio tomorrow. There are still some things she wants to finalize with me.”

It was getting late. The two went downstairs. Lin Ran saw Fu Linling get into the driver’s seat and asked: “You didn’t drink?”

“No.”

“Then why do I smell alcohol?”

“Feng Ming drank.”

Lin Ran sat in the passenger seat and asked: “How is she getting home then?”

“I called a designated driver for her. I don’t know if she made it home yet.”

“I should check.” Lin Ran dialed Feng Ming’s number.

Fu Linling glanced at her phone nervously, gripping the steering wheel.

“Hello?” Feng Ming’s voice came through the car speakers.

“It’s me, Lin Ran. Are you home?” Lin Ran asked.

“Mhm.”

“That’s good. Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Lin Ran was about to hang up when she suddenly heard Feng Ming call out: “Lin Ran.”

“Hm?”

There was a silence on the other end.

Fu Linling glanced over again, her heart practically lodged in her throat.

“Thank you for the cake today. It was delicious.”

Lin Ran smiled brightly: “I’m glad you liked it. I figured Dr. Fu couldn’t handle it.”

Feng Ming chuckled softly: “You’re right. She can’t appreciate good things.”

After the call ended, Fu Linling finally relaxed, relieved that no major incident had occurred.

After returning home and taking a shower, Fu Linling sat on the sofa with her laptop on her lap, unable to type a single complete line for a long time.

“Why do you look so preoccupied?” Lin Ran came out to get water and casually sat down on the armrest of the sofa.

Fu Linling leaned her head on Lin Ran’s waist and murmured: “I think I made a mistake, but I don’t know when I started making it.”

“What mistake?” Lin Ran asked.

Fu Linling shook her head, closed her laptop, and wrapped her arms around Lin Ran’s waist.

Lin Ran stroked her head. It was rare to see her look so dejected. She leaned down and asked: “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Fu Linling looked up, a hopeful expression in her eyes: “Can you sleep with me tonight?”

Lin Ran: “…”

You sure know how to comfort yourself.