Let's Get Married on the First Day of Rebirth - Chapter 1

The thick scent of alcohol in the air merged seamlessly with the chaotic remnants of her dreams. Sunlight streamed through the slightly parted curtains, casting a glow on the fair skin of the person beside her. Her fingertips brushed against soft, silky strands of hair. Having slept too deeply, she woke up feeling utterly drained, her limbs heavy. She tried to grasp the strands tighter, but they slipped through her fingers like water. A sharp pang of sorrow exploded in her chest, jolting Qu Ange fully awake. She called out, “Xu Mi.”

Xu Mi was still asleep.

She had drunk far too much last night, and the flush of intoxication still lingered on her cheeks, like the scattered hues of sunset rippling across a lake. Her thick lashes were the waterweeds in that lake, her slender brows the reeds along its shore. Qu Ange turned over and kissed those waterweeds and reeds, her hand sliding down the silken hair to grip the delicate spine, pulling the fragile body tightly into her arms.

This was Xu Mi. Not a dream. The real Xu Mi.

The date she had seen on her phone last night June 3, 2012 was no illusion. She had gone back ten years, to a time when Xu Mi hadn’t yet left her. Though her phone had already sent the text, “Let’s break up, Xu Mi,” the soul from ten years later had taken over her body in the next instant. Qu Ange had immediately boarded a flight to Xu Mi’s place, intercepting her just as she was packing her bags to leave.

And then…

At first, Qu Ange, suddenly reborn, had thought this was nothing more than an overly vivid dream. Perhaps that was why the decade’s worth of regret and remorse stored in her heart had poured out like a flood. She had clung to Xu Mi without restraint, begging for forgiveness, sobbing uncontrollably, cursing in despair, pleading for Xu Mi not to leave, screaming like a madwoman, “I can’t live without you.”

Thinking of this, the now fully awake Qu Ange buried her face in the crook of Xu Mi’s neck, inhaling the clean scent of soap on her skin. Greedily, she breathed it in, then parted her lips to nibble lightly. Xu Mi stirred with a soft murmur, pushing at her weakly. Qu Ange only held her tighter, her lips traveling upward to capture Xu Mi’s.

Xu Mi opened her eyes, the haze in them slow to fade. That haze soon turned into shattered moonlight, misty and indistinct. Her body softened under Qu Ange’s touch, but the last remnants of her consciousness. Now little more than a phantom made her whisper, “Stop. I need to use the bathroom.”

Qu Ange didn’t want to let go. Nuzzling Xu Mi’s chin, she mumbled, “Let’s go together.”

Xu Mi fell silent. That silence brought a sliver of clarity to Qu Ange’s muddled mind. She looked at Xu Mi, who was also looking back at her, brows slightly furrowed, eyes filled with confusion and indifference.

That indifference made Qu Ange release her. Xu Mi sat up, her long hair cascading like ink over porcelain skin.

She picked up the nightgown from the floor and draped it over herself, then pulled open the blackout curtains. Staggering slightly, she made her way to the bathroom, her slender legs pale as spring onions peeking out from beneath the flannel robe, delicate as the legs of a waterbird. Qu Ange immediately tried to get up to help her, but the dizziness from last night’s drinking overwhelmed her, and she collapsed back onto the bed.

She had drunk too much as well. The events of last night were already a blur. She only remembered begging Xu Mi not to leave, while Xu Mi had remained silent, drinking quietly.

According to the timeline of her past life, on June 3, she had proposed the breakup. On June 4, Xu Mi had replied:

Goodbye. Let’s never meet again.

And for the next ten years, Qu Ange never saw Xu Mi again.

Even after she achieved fame and success, recklessly posting on her verified Weibo account to search for Xu Mi, even when she won the Best Actress award and tearfully denounced her own foolishness at the ceremony, Xu Mi seemed to have vanished from this world as if she had never existed in the first place. Ten years later, her fans all knew she had an unforgettable lover named Xu Mi, but beyond the name, everything else remained a mystery.

How desperately she wanted to see Xu Mi again. How desperately she wanted to tell her she regretted everything. How desperately she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Xu Mi.

Qu Ange pulled her thoughts back from her past life and saw the gray bedsheet crumpled beneath her. She smoothed it out and got up from the bed. The air conditioning wasn’t on, and even though she was naked, she could feel fine beads of sweat uncontrollably forming on her skin. Qu Ange looked around at the familiar red floorboards, the familiar pearwood furniture, and the familiar framed photo of the two of them on the desk.

After Xu Mi disappeared, all these photos had vanished too. Back then, to prevent the outside world from discovering she had a lover, Qu Ange had repeatedly warned Xu Mi not to let any of these things leak out. Xu Mi had nodded obediently like a chick pecking at rice, promising she understood. All the physical photos were kept in the bedroom, and the digital copies were encrypted on an external hard drive. As for Qu Ange, she had kept nothing, just in case.

But then Xu Mi disappeared, and so did all the photos, leaving Qu Ange without even a single picture to reminisce over. The only photo left on her phone was Xu Mi’s graduation picture.

At the thought, Qu Ange longed to see Xu Mi’s face again. She walked to the bathroom door and knocked, her voice soft but urgent. “Xu Mi, aren’t you done yet?”

A muffled voice came from behind the frosted glass door. “Just a minute.”

That “minute” turned out to be about two. Xu Mi slid the door open and stepped out, head bowed as she tried to walk past. Qu Ange grabbed her arm, trying to see her face, but Xu Mi’s hair covered it. Qu Ange reached out to brush the strands aside, and though Xu Mi turned her head to avoid it, she failed. The hair was pushed back, revealing Xu Mi’s reddened eyes.

Qu Ange’s heart twisted painfully. “Y-you’re crying? Did I hurt you? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Xu Mi pressed her lips together. Though her eyes were red, her expression was cold. “You were dead drunk last night. What pain are you talking about? You must be dreaming. I just got water in my eyes.”

Only a child would believe such a lie. Qu Ange cupped Xu Mi’s face. “Please, Xu Mi, don’t cry. It hurts me to see you like this.”

Xu Mi froze, confusion flickering in her eyes. She didn’t understand what had gotten into Qu Ange, but she still fell for it just like when they first started dating, when she burned her finger on the grill while cooking barbecue, and Qu Ange had cradled her hand, blowing on it while saying, “It’s all red. It hurts me to see this.”

Amid the smoky haze of the barbecue restaurant, Qu Ange’s beautiful face had glowed like a hidden pearl.

I love her. Even now, her heart couldn’t lie to itself.

Xu Mi closed her eyes, then opened them again, burying the turbulent emotions beneath a blank expression. “Stop it, Qu Ange. Didn’t we break up? And could you put some clothes on?”

The other’s naked body was as smooth and warm as polished jade. Xu Mi turned her face away, refusing to look. Qu Ange, unable to find her pajamas, grabbed a towel from the TV stand and wrapped it around herself. The disheveled room seemed to serve as a stark reminder of what they had done the night before. Though Xu Mi claimed they had been dead drunk, in Qu Ange’s memory, they had done everything short of the final step. Red marks still dotted Xu Mi’s shoulders. The room was warm and hazy, and Qu Ange, still tipsy, embraced her again, only to be shoved onto the bed.

“What do you even want, Qu Ange? You were the one who broke up with me, and now you suddenly show up out of nowhere. I’ve really given up. Just let me go too.”

This marked the tenth year they had known each other. In the winter of 2002, Xu Mi had moved to that seaside town because of her father’s job transfer. On those endlessly rainy days, she sat alone in the cafeteria until the girl who stood out like a white crane in a crowd walked up to her.

“What’s your name?”

“Xu Mi.”

“Mi as in ‘sweet’?”

“Mi as in ‘dense.'”

The girl pouted, her lips as pink as flower petals. “What a strange name, transfer student.”

In their third year of university, they held each other’s hands. That happened to be the fifth year they had known each other, and the twelfth of this month marked their fifth year together.

She remembered it all too clearly.

Between the two of them, Xu Mi had always been the more attentive one. She never forgot anniversaries, was always the first to send holiday wishes, the last to hang up the phone, and the one to end every text message.

At first, Xu Mi had thought nothing of it. But one day, she realized it meant she was the one who loved deeper.

Lost in memories, Xu Mi didn’t notice Qu Ange reaching out to pull her down onto the bed. Qu Ange buried her face in the crook of Xu Mi’s neck, her voice muffled. “Don’t let me go. Please. Even if it’s just to punish me, don’t let me go. Don’t leave me alone.”

A damp sensation spread across her skin. Xu Mi froze, momentarily speechless.

In Xu Mi’s arms, Qu Ange felt a sense of security she hadn’t experienced in ten years. During those drunken nights, she had desperately sought this feeling, but nothing not alcohol, fame, fortune, or trophies—could replicate it. All those things she once thought were more important than Xu Mi turned out to mean nothing. She tightened her arms, as if trying to fuse Xu Mi into her very being. Tears streamed uncontrollably, tears of joy and fear.

She had to keep Xu Mi. No matter what, she had to keep her.

“Let’s get married.”

The words spilled out before she could stop them.

Her heart pounded violently, her nerves stretched thin. Though the words had been impulsive, once spoken, she realized they had been buried deep within her for years. Countless times, in the quiet of midnight, Qu Ange had woken with the sense that she had something to say to Xu Mi. But Xu Mi wasn’t there, and she could never recall the dreams that had stirred her. Now, with Xu Mi’s scent filling her senses and her body curled against her, Qu Ange finally understood what those words were.

Let’s get married. Let’s get married. In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in youth or old age let’s never part.

Xu Mi remained silent.

Qu Ange took a slight step back to look at Xu Mi’s face. It was flushed a deep red, her lips pressed tightly together. There was no trace of joy on her face, but she hadn’t refused either. To Qu Ange, no refusal meant consent.

So she said, “Then let’s grab our IDs. Where’s the nearest civil affairs bureau? Let me think, let me think…”

She stood up and began rummaging through drawers.

Xu Mi hung her head, fists clenched tightly.

She was furious at her own spinelessness. She should have refused. Should have firmly said, “I don’t want to.” But the moment she heard those words, her brain seemed to short-circuit, overloaded. She couldn’t speak at all, could only see Qu Ange’s damp eyes, pleading at her like a puppy.

And just because of that, she couldn’t bring herself to say no.