Joining A Dating Show With Five Exes - Chapter 46

Chapter 46: From The Past Until Now, I’ve Never Once Thought of Being Separated From You

It took several days for Cheng Shiyuan to realize that Xia Ziran wasn’t as clingy as she used to be.

The person who always sought out opportunities, fought fiercely, and was determined to regain the advantage after a brief setback, now often just stayed where she could see Cheng Shiyuan.

Those sharp, phoenix-like eyes that used to exude an oppressive aura, capable of dissecting a person’s soul, now rested on her softly, even blankly.

If Cheng Shiyuan previously associated her with the characteristics of snakes found in films—cunning, treacherous, dark, and vengeful—then the current Xia Ziran was more like a silly, docile, and utterly non-aggressive pet snake kept by a friend of Cheng Shiyuan’s.

Cheng Shiyuan actually used to enjoy provoking Xia Ziran and watching her be helplessly furious.

It had a certain beauty of powerless rage.

But now.

She found that this person, who no longer flashed her fangs on a whim and was mostly very quiet, had a kind of silly cuteness even in her dark surveillance.

So, inexplicably, she felt an urge to approach Xia Ziran herself.

She wanted to tease her a little.

Yet, the person who used to set traps, waiting and luring her over, would now “coincidentally” remember something and subtly slip away from her sight.

She truly resembled a shy snake experiencing sudden social anxiety, afraid of strangers, seemingly needing to find a safe, secluded spot before daring to peek out and observe others again.

Cheng Shiyuan finally couldn’t help it and actively cornered her.

“Are you avoiding me?”

At a time when the dating show was nearing its end and everyone was actively looking for opportunities to express their affection, Xia Ziran’s uncharacteristic avoidance was effective in capturing her attention.

Xia Ziran was still very conscious of the fact that being near her seemed to bring her misfortune. However, the moment she felt Cheng Shiyuan’s warmth and smelled her scent, she found it impossible to refuse her.

She simply surrendered to Cheng Shiyuan’s pull, sat down next to her, and then leaned against her.

“Am I?”

Xia Ziran lied with a straight face, her hands already naturally wrapped around Cheng Shiyuan’s waist, in a familiar posture, as if trying to find a comfortable place to cling to her.

Cheng Shiyuan was momentarily inclined to doubt herself.

Because once Xia Ziran was close, the feeling of avoidance vanished, as if it were all her imagination.

Due to the excessive trouble encountered during their group trip, the production team was concerned about these precious guests running into more issues that neither they nor the insurance company could afford—

So, as soon as transportation was restored in the affected area, they eagerly sent them back to the original filming location.

In the familiar, single-family villa they had stayed in for a while, only the two of them were in the living room now.

Xia Ziran rested her head openly on Cheng Shiyuan’s lap. Although she was very busy with work, she ignored her phone even when it rang multiple times, intensely savoring the time spent with Cheng Shiyuan.

She had been so righteously adamant during the earthquake that Cheng Shiyuan shouldn’t talk about the apocalypse.

But for her.

This dating show, which had entered its countdown, was truly the apocalypse of Xia Ziran’s love life.

She wasn’t in the same industry as Cheng Shiyuan, and her family had no investments in the film industry. Moreover, due to some recent business dealings, she would be unable to stay in the country for a period.

Their lives had briefly intersected only once in their teens and collided by chance again this year.

In the future, they would diverge and gradually drift apart.

Xia Ziran rarely looked at Cheng Shiyuan from this low angle.

Before, it was pride; she refused to lower her head, and she was naturally the taller one.

Now, she realized that Cheng Shiyuan’s face truly deserved to be a screen darling. Even just the view of her neck and jawline was beautiful enough to be her muse.

Actually, Xia Ziran had lied about one thing.

Everyone assumed that after changing her major, she stopped touching a paintbrush out of resentment for her career change, as a reminder that she couldn’t indulge in frivolous pursuits after becoming an heiress.

Art had become a forbidden subject, a reverse scale.

Even when elders occasionally wanted to buy paintings in a gallery or invest in art, they would carefully gauge her reaction and only consult her from a financial and investment perspective.

But.

None of those were the real reason Xia Ziran stopped painting.

It was because the moment she first saw Cheng Shiyuan, she knew she was addicted to this person. From then on, whenever she picked up a brush in her free time, only this person filled her mind as the paint touched the canvas.

Their breakup at the time was too ugly, and she felt it was a humiliation.

So, she didn’t want to leave behind a locked art studio, lest it one day be filled with portraits of Cheng Shiyuan, making her seem like some kind of deeply devoted yet twisted pervert.

Her heart was the only place she could hide her secret.

Every trace of her incorrigible love that leaked out could one day become a sharp knife for others to discover her weakness.

She even self-deceptively convinced herself that as long as she didn’t paint and couldn’t see the “evidence,” she could trick herself into believing it was no big deal, that she wasn’t that deeply in love.

She maintained that deception for many years.

Until the moment they reunited on the show, the emotions locked away for years burst forth.

So, she thought for a long time, then suddenly spoke: “If you have to choose, choose someone who loves you very much, but not too much.”

If the love was taken to the extreme, like hers all these years—

It would turn into a dagger aimed at Cheng Shiyuan.

Xia Ziran still spoke with a tone that Cheng Shiyuan used to dislike, appearing composed and certain, convinced she could point others toward the right path.

But this was the first time Cheng Shiyuan didn’t feel repulsed as she had before.

Because what she heard, clearly, was:

‘Don’t choose someone like me.’

Cheng Shiyuan laughed, choosing to follow her advice for the first time: “Alright.”

She was agreeable, like an obedient child who listened to advice.

But then Xia Ziran suddenly felt a dull ache in her heart. She had already made her decision and had spent several days mentally preparing for it.

Yet, hearing Cheng Shiyuan genuinely saying she wouldn’t choose her, she was still inevitably sad.

She could only close her eyes, lying in this person’s arms, desperately recalling the years of her life when they hadn’t intersected, using those memories as solace.

It’s just going back to how things were.

Just going back to how things were…?

Before, it took her eleven years to restrain herself with her dignity, preventing her from seeking out Cheng Shiyuan every time she heard news of her.

Now, she had gained so much more than she had back then. How long would it take to fade this time?

It seemed their ending was destined for regret—

The sound of the front door opening rang out at that moment.

Chen Chuxing, escorted by her assistant, immediately looked toward Cheng Shiyuan upon entering, her charismatic eyes overflowing with undisguised delight.

The assistant reflexively started to speak on her behalf to Cheng Shiyuan.

But Chen Chuxing stopped her.

With this interruption, Xia Ziran couldn’t continue to brazenly lie in Cheng Shiyuan’s arms.

Reluctantly standing up to retreat to her room, Xia Ziran thought darkly that she had forgotten a line in her earlier advice.

It would have been:

‘Also, don’t choose someone older, because older people tend to go first.’

Chen Chuxing certainly couldn’t hear Xia Ziran’s thoughts, but she subconsciously looked thoughtful after seeing her voluntarily get up and retreat to her room.

“Does Jiejie have some great news to share with me?”

Cheng Shiyuan’s words brought her attention back.

Chen Chuxing was instinctively drawn by her voice. The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she mysteriously shook her head:

“It hasn’t been finalized yet.”

“If I say it now, it won’t come true.”

She wasn’t usually superstitious, but if the matter concerned Cheng Shiyuan, she wanted the good news to be 100% reality.

Cheng Shiyuan saw her eyes sparkling like stars, radiating a captivating brilliance, and she couldn’t help but smile too.

She was usually a person who couldn’t keep a secret, yet somehow, she was the best at keeping things hidden when it came to major events—

Of course, it might also be that her former self had too much of an emotional filter and didn’t see clearly enough.

Thinking this, Cheng Shiyuan finally said to her:

“Then tell me when you’ve confirmed it, Jiejie.”

“However, I also have some good news I want to tell you.”

She glanced at the overly dense surveillance cameras in the living room and turned to Chen Chuxing: “Want to go for a walk?”

Chen Chuxing’s body responded before she could consciously nod.

The night air was clear and gentle. The two walked on the flagstones laid in the small garden outside the villa.

Perhaps the owner of the house was whimsical; the flagstone path would often split as it wound through the garden trees, looking like roads leading to unknown, new explorations.

Cheng Shiyuan held Chen Chuxing’s arm, hopping across the occasional wide gap between the stones.

She then laughed and told her that when they visited so-and-so’s home, in the European-style mansion’s manicured grounds, some people would actually be bored enough to trim the greenery into a small maze for guests to wander through.

Chen Chuxing listened quietly most of the time, offering one or two timely responses.

She had the uncanny knack of making people want to keep talking happily.

Until Cheng Shiyuan suddenly stopped and asked her: “Is there anything you want to say to me?”

Chen Chuxing was stunned, but quickly replied: “Yes.”

Of course, there was.

They had so many regrets between them, and their reunion was under such peculiar circumstances. Even the quiet moonlight walk tonight felt like an odd luxury.

Chen Chuxing truly had so many, many things to say—

Alas, the ever-present surveillance cameras from the production team were relentlessly trailing them.

So, in the end, she could only smile and ask:

“My concert tour isn’t over yet. I’m opening a show in another city soon. I wonder if I have the honor of inviting you to be my special guest?”

It was only then that Cheng Shiyuan vaguely remembered.

When they were dating, Chen Chuxing had considered a career change because the film industry was so cruel, and especially harsh when giving scripts to aging women.

They felt women over thirty shouldn’t play young lovers, and some even went so far as to give them scripts for roles as the supporting characters’ mothers.

Chen Chuxing had a good singing voice, and she herself had ambitions to transition into a singer.

At that time, she would laugh and ask Cheng Shiyuan how she should be invited onto the stage for her future concerts. They discussed many ways: extravagant, mocking, joke-filled entrances.

But it was never followed up.

Cheng Shiyuan saw the lingering regret of that time in her eyes.

This time, she didn’t let Chen Chuxing’s gaze shatter again: “Alright.”

She asked: “Anything else?”

In her encouraging gaze, Chen Chuxing desperately wanted to say:

And, could you please choose me in the end?

However, after watching the demeanor of her competitors as they each spent time with Cheng Shiyuan these past few days, she couldn’t voice this extravagant hope.

Because she knew that Cheng Shiyuan had already made her decision.

And that decision—

Every guest had already read it when Shen Lingxi kidnapped Cheng Shiyuan.

So, she changed her mind and smiled, sharing the truly good news with Cheng Shiyuan.

“Also, I’m truly free now.”

From the moment she decided to defy Shen Lingxi’s orders and try to do something at the Cheng family banquet, and later when she recklessly went to the Zhao family’s party.

Shen Lingxi had developed a killing intent towards her, no longer intending to use her.

She survived that brush with death thanks to her luck.

Since Shen Lingxi recovered from the incident of jumping into the sea, she hadn’t sent her any messages, and had even deleted their special communication method.

Chen Chuxing had gradually come to her senses.

Shen Lingxi was no longer her boss.

The transaction she had risked her life on when she was young and desperate had finally come to an end.

Cheng Shiyuan looked at the relaxed smile in her eyes. Before she could speak, she heard the sound of the wind sweeping by, as if the grove of trees had celebrated this joyous occasion on her behalf.

Therefore.

She also refrained from mentioning the favor she had personally extracted from Shen Lingxi while taking care of her in the hospital: that Shen Lingxi had to grant Chen Chuxing her freedom and promise no retaliation.

At that time, Shen Lingxi had just woken up in the ICU and heard Cheng Shiyuan only request that one thing.

Her eyes, which were always inscrutable, showed a look of near hurt for the first time.

But in the end, she agreed to her words.

At this moment, Cheng Shiyuan swallowed the message she had originally planned to convey first. She watched Chen Chuxing, like a caged beast finally stepping out of its prison, independently confirming that all her chains and shackles had vanished.

She offered her most sincere blessing at the right moment: “Congratulations.”

I hope your future life allows you to choose your path according to your heart.

And that you never have to compromise yourself for anyone again.

Chen Chuxing looked at her and replied softly:

“So, you don’t have to worry about me. Go follow your own path. You are free too, aren’t you?”

Chen Chuxing actually wished she could pretend not to know about this, casually keeping it a secret, watching Cheng Shiyuan constantly act as her protector.

She knew Cheng Shiyuan would definitely do that—

The person she loved was always so clear about debts and favors.

Almost owing her a life, she would naturally repay it with a life.

But Chen Chuxing didn’t want that kind of repayment. Even though she knew she could discern the sincerity of Cheng Shiyuan’s love, whether it was an act or not, she was afraid that if she used this reason to keep her for too long, she would end up deceiving herself.

She desperately wanted to ask Cheng Shiyuan if the chance to start over she’d promised was merely out of necessity due to the circumstances, or if she truly wanted to forgive her.

But in the dead of night, every time those thoughts flashed through her mind and reached her lips, Chen Chuxing knew with painful clarity what the answer was.

So.

She didn’t want to be more contemptible than the other competitors.

Her initial goal in joining the dating show was simply to check on Cheng Shiyuan’s health and find a way to cure her illness. Now that the person was standing before her, healthy, how could she push her luck?

All she needed was to be able to keep watching this person.

Even if it wasn’t from the closest position.

She knew how much Cheng Shiyuan craved freedom. The fact that she had folded her wings and paused by her side was the peak of Chen Chuxing’s luck in this lifetime.

She was too foolish, too helpless, and too conceited back then, and she missed the best choice.

The current Chen Chuxing was finally clearer-headed, no longer so foolish, and would not use any excuse to force Cheng Shiyuan into a choice that went against her heart.

If Cheng Shiyuan wanted to fly into the sky, to be free to come and go like the wind in the trees, never stopping by anyone’s side again, Chen Chuxing was willing to be a fish looking up at the soaring bird.

As long as the bird’s shadow briefly overlapped with hers on the sea, she would be ecstatic for that short moment.

Cheng Shiyuan couldn’t help but stare at the look in her eyes now.

She felt like she was recalling her own state of enchantment years ago, when she had loved Chen Chuxing for many years and finally saw her at that luxurious VIP dinner.

She even remembered.

She intentionally walked up to Chen Chuxing and saw her standing by the sparkling jewelry display case, not outshone at all by the items inside.

Cheng Shiyuan, meticulously dressed, stood before her, slightly worried that she wasn’t dazzling enough. She put on a generous smile and asked: “Do you have any series you’d recommend for me?”

She was deeply afraid of being rejected by Chen Chuxing.

Although everyone told her that Chen Chuxing had good judgment, was always cordial and thoughtful toward wealthy clients she valued, and was good at catering to the powerful because of her poor family background.

But Cheng Shiyuan had only one thought at the time—

Good thing I’m rich.

She was even worried that her wealth wasn’t obvious enough, that she wouldn’t meet the standard for Chen Chuxing’s special attention.

She had specifically observed Chen Chuxing for a long time that day and noticed that she was appropriately polite and thoughtful with all the rich women, but seemed to show no special spark of interest in any of them.

After asking the first question, Cheng Shiyuan decided she would simply choose a bracelet from the series Chen Chuxing recommended, ask her to put it on for her, and then casually ask if she would ever consider same-sex partners.

But.

Chen Chuxing stared at her fixedly for a moment, then suddenly realized something. She turned and pulled out a jewelry box from a nearby cabinet, selecting a special diamond-encrusted ring.

She gently took Cheng Shiyuan’s hand, and with a soft smile, slowly pushed the sparkling ring, inch by inch, onto Cheng Shiyuan’s ring finger.

Cheng Shiyuan stared at her, her exquisite face showing an expression akin to stupefaction.

Chen Chuxing suddenly laughed and apologized:

“I’m sorry, you’re too beautiful. The first moment I saw you, I felt this ring would definitely suit you… Was I too presumptuous to do that?”

Cheng Shiyuan looked at the ring on her ring finger.

She never wore jewelry on her ring finger, so even though the ring wasn’t heavy, it felt very present and significant to her at the time.

She then looked up, meeting Chen Chuxing’s constantly smiling eyes.

In that moment—

Cheng Shiyuan abruptly realized that the question she had prepared seemed unnecessary.

And it was the same now.

The look in Chen Chuxing’s eyes as she watched her was no different from when they first met.

Chen Chuxing had tacitly allowed her to approach, even protected her career in the entertainment industry, and worked hard to elevate her, because she loved her.

Now, Chen Chuxing swallowed all her unwillingness and remorse, not using the vulnerable, pitiful posture she had adopted since their reunion to express a word of her affection.

But her willingness to step back from the spotlight, even celebrating Cheng Shiyuan’s own freedom with her, was also because Chen Chuxing loved her.

“Jiejie, do you really want me to be free forever?”

Even though she had repeatedly confirmed this person’s love for her, Cheng Shiyuan seemed to have reinforced some bad habits of a person who enjoys teasing during their time together.

She couldn’t help but indulge her privilege.

Chen Chuxing quickly blinked several times.

In the end, she couldn’t overcome the pain in her heart and repeated the answer.

Instead, half to convince herself and half for Cheng Shiyuan’s benefit, she spoke with a reasoned tone:

“You’re a celebrity, Xiaoshi.”

“Do celebrities who join dating shows really fall in love? That would affect your popularity. And if you reject everyone, the outcome will be very different—”

Everyone could see their love for Cheng Shiyuan.

Chen Chuxing could even imagine that no matter how much the show edited the footage, the final cut would undoubtedly show how deeply they all loved Cheng Shiyuan.

This dating show would amplify Cheng Shiyuan’s charisma infinitely.

If it happened to become popular, future passersby who recalled characters in the entertainment industry might remember that there was once such a captivating actress who could capture the sincere hearts of many outstanding women.

Chen Chuxing knew Cheng Shiyuan disliked her making plans for her without asking.

But this time, she truly couldn’t resist wanting Cheng Shiyuan to fly higher.

She wanted the whole world to see how dazzling the person she loved was.

Everyone should be astonished by her, just as she was when she first met Cheng Shiyuan.

However, upon hearing her reply, Cheng Shiyuan couldn’t help but frown.

“That was worse than the ‘freedom’ line just now.”

She said: “I really hate your lecturing, Jiejie.”

“You hate it?” Knowing that she was deliberately trying to hurt her heart, Chen Chuxing still showed the sad look she desired: “Then what does Xiaoshi like to hear?”

“Of course—”

Cheng Shiyuan raised her hand and vaguely pointed to the location of Chen Chuxing’s heart, answering matter-of-factly:

“I want to hear your truth.”

Chen Chuxing sighed, realizing that she truly had no resistance to any of Cheng Shiyuan’s demands.

“The truth is…”

“From the first time I saw you, I wanted to be with you. From the past until now, I’ve never once thought of being separated from you.”

“The most regrettable thing I’ve done in this life is not cherishing it when I had it.”

My love for you.

Has never diminished for a moment.