I've Tried Going Back to Life After Dying - Chapter 41

Lauren’s life had undoubtedly changed.

It was partly due to Hildegard’s influence, along with Vincent’s teachings, and certainly Clifford’s treatment that prolonged his life.

Above all, in this life, Lauren met his beloved Helen.

Looking back, Lauren’s previous life had been one burdened with responsibilities. Being born as a noble heir was undoubtedly a blessing, but in his case, what had it truly been?

The privilege of hiring physicians and the weight of duty grinding away at his life. It was like balancing on a seesaw.

Before returning to death, what Hildegard had sworn was simply her own desire to stay by Lauren’s side until his last moments.

In the end, Lauren was neither lonely nor unhappy.

Lauren couldn’t fulfill all his dreams.

He was able to attend the academy and was far healthier than before. But crossing to the empire for further studies remained beyond his reach.

After learning from Vincent, he studied under several scholars and eventually became known as a knowledgeable figure within the country but that was as far as he went.

Still, he gained something he couldn’t in his previous life, a family. As Clifford had predicted, he was never blessed with children, but the sight of him and Helen nestled together, gazing at the night sky, became a daily scene in the count’s household.

Helen was the kind of woman who, if she had someone by her side, would cherish that person deeply.

In her previous life, she had poured all that affection into Clifford, who had taken her in when she was destitute.

Seeing her now standing beside Lauren, Hildegard remembered her former husband and thought that perhaps Clifford, too, had been unable to let her go.

Lauren lived longer than he had in his previous life.

Whether ten years was long or short, Lauren, at the age of thirty-five, returned to the starry skies he had loved and studied so dearly, surrounded by his family.

Helen now lived in a small estate in the countryside, purchased with Lauren’s inheritance, leading the life of a widow far too young.

The small, unguarded mansion resembled, in some way, the estate she had lived in during her previous life.

With its white-painted walls and red roof, it was a house that seemed plucked from a fairy tale; perfectly suited to her.

“Beautiful gladiolus.”

“O-Oh! Sister-in-law, welcome!”

Though Hildegard had muttered to herself, Helen’s reaction was far more animated.

“You’ve got dirt on your cheek.”

When Hildegard pointed to her own cheek, Helen wiped the opposite side.

No matter how old she got, Helen remained somewhat absentminded. Wiping her sister-in-law’s dirty cheek with a handkerchief, Helen simply said, “Sorry,” without looking particularly remorseful.

“Atrey has returned from the territory. He brought back all sorts of things, so I thought I’d bring some for you too. Blackberry jam—you like it, don’t you?”

Whenever she visited Helen’s estate, Hildegard left her guards and maids in the carriage.

She and Helen, who had known each other for a long time even in their previous lives, spent quiet tea times alone together.

What was God thinking when assigning roles to people?

Watching Helen eagerly tidy up the garden tools and lead her inside, Hildegard couldn’t help but wonder.

At Lauren’s funeral, Helen had cried so much that Hildegard feared she might go blind. Now, she wished for Helen to never shed another tear of sorrow in this life.

“Lord Clifford, can you hear me?”

Leaning close to the bedside, Hildegard whispered.

Clifford had collapsed the day before, clutching his chest and falling to his knees. Upon receiving the news, Hildegard had hurried to the Longfall marquisate.

After relinquishing his position as heir to his younger brother and pursuing medicine, Clifford had moved to a detached residence on the same grounds as the main estate.

This was the first time Hildegard had entered since her return from death, but she had no time to dwell on that as she was quickly led to his room.

The message from Allen had arrived that morning. After the physician’s examination, Clifford had stabilized enough to request a meeting.

“Lord Clifford. Did you really have no friends? To think you’d call for someone like me.”

Even if he had stepped down as heir, he was still a marquis. As Atrey had once said when he was still a student, Clifford was the epitome of what a noble head of house should be.

Powerful figures surrounded him, friends and acquaintances alike.

“Honestly, how pathetic. A doctor who couldn’t even take care of himself?”

The scene mirrored his previous deathbed, and Hildegard couldn’t help but scold him. Her voice cracked with tears, and she scolded herself—no, Clifford was fighting to live.

“You rushed through life last time too, didn’t you? Helen cried nonstop.”

The hand resting on his chest was weak, and Hildegard gently squeezed it.

Just like before. For three days and nights, she had stayed by his side, holding his faintly warm hand, talking to him endlessly.

“Such a stubborn man. Collapsing at the same age as before? You’re only forty-one.”

His long lashes, the same pale gold as his hair, rested over tightly closed eyes. Beneath them lay those clear blue eyes.

She wanted to see that blue one more time.

Clifford’s passing came swiftly. Staring at the coffin as it was lowered into the ground, Hildegard shed tears in this life.

At her side were Atrey and Austin.

Last time, Helen had been the one weeping uncontrollably, and above all, Hildegard had been the chief mourner.

Austin had scolded Helen for crying too much, telling her to be quiet even in such a solemn moment, the memory carried a touch of absurdity.

“There is something I wish to give to Lady Hildegard.”

After the funeral, summoned by Allen, she parted ways with Atrey and was led into the guest chamber.

The nostalgic room was where, in this life, she had once confronted Clifford, gripping her fan so tightly her knuckles turned white.

“My brother left a will.”

“Lord Clifford left a will?”

As a physician, he must have sensed his own decline. Yet, could even he not alter fate?

Allen then picked up an item from the tray Arthur held out.

Seeing Arthur the last person she had met in her previous life Hildegard realized once more that she had caught up to the moment of her return.

“This is…”

“For you. My brother’s personal assets. A gift from our grandmother upon his birth.”

“Eh?”

Before her eyes lay a familiar blue.

In her previous life, she had worn it constantly on her ring finger the one thing that made her feel like Clifford’s wife.

At the very end, after mourning Clifford, she had given it to Helen.

The sapphire ring still shone with the same blue light as it had that day.

“Compared to the magnificent ring you wear, this may seem like a mere pebble. But I ask that you accept it in accordance with my brother’s wishes.”

Allen spoke somewhat awkwardly, his gaze flickering to the citrine on Hildegard’s finger larger than a quail’s egg that concealed her ring finger.