I've Tried Going Back to Life After Dying - Chapter 2

“Now, how was it again?”

Hildegard closed her eyes, trying to recall the routines of her youth. After all, these were memories from over twenty years ago. Not something one could easily remember.

In the end, she couldn’t even recall when her maid would come to her room, so she decided to first confirm what time it was now.

The young Hildegard used to keep a diary. It should be in the desk drawer.

“How smooth.”

The fluidity of her movements as she rose from bed. The vitality coursing through her as she stood.

Just being alive made her body feel dynamic, that’s how it felt.

Hildegard had been the same age as her husband Clifford. Meaning she had died at forty-one, same as him. Not exactly young, but rather early to join the elderly. Yet her body had deteriorated so noticeably because she’d been too busy to take proper care of herself.

Having lost her husband’s love, she should have at least taken better care of herself.

But that was beyond her now. After all, she was already dead.

Why she had died was irrelevant now too. She had indeed prayed to God, but if death could be reversed that easily, one could redo life a hundred times over.

All of that was in the past now, beyond changing. She turned a blind eye to the absurdity that her present future had become the past.

She didn’t feel the usual chill in her body. Blood flowed to her limbs right upon waking. Her fingertips weren’t cold either.

Youth.

Even though she’d had plenty of worries when young, now she could appreciate it – just being alive made life shine.

Suddenly remembering her current appearance, she walked to the full-length mirror in the corner of the room.

Dark brown hair and blue eyes.

She was never exceptionally beautiful, but just seeing her skin’s healthy glow moved her.

“The volume…”

Her hair was thick and full. While she hadn’t been balding before yesterday either, each strand had been growing thinner, losing its resilience, creating an overall impression of loneliness.

“Austin. I’m sorry.”

Seeing her reflection reminded her of the stepson she’d left behind.

He must be shocked now. After all, the lady of the house had died on the night of the lord’s funeral.

“Perhaps I should have died three days earlier. That way, all the trouble could have been handled at once. No, actually, I’m glad I died afterward. At least I could see my husband off properly. Handling that alone would have been too much. Funerals are exhausting.”

Most importantly, she’d been able to give Helen the ring.

Since less than half a day had passed in her memories, she was quickly pulled back to her past life.

She remembered Austin because of her reflection.

Austin had been adopted because Hildegard couldn’t conceive. Yet her husband had specifically chosen a boy with hair and eye color matching Hildegard’s.

He’d even selected a four-year-old, as if rewinding the four years they’d struggled with infertility.

“You were always hard to figure out – whether you were kind or not.”

Remembering her forty-year-old husband while looking at her teenage face.

The slight smile in her eyes as she recalled him somehow made her look like the forty-year-old Hildegard again.

After marveling at the firmness of her chest and the lack of extra weight around her waist, Hildegard finally reached the desk.

If she kept reminiscing like this, she’d waste too much time. She needed to read the diary and return to reality quickly.

As she remembered, the diary was there.

She checked the date on the last page.

“I just entered the academy. So it really is spring.”

She looked around the room again. Her childhood home, which she hadn’t seen in so long. Both her parents were still alive. So was Lauren.

Before returning to life, Hildegard’s childhood home had been inherited by her uncle’s son. It had been ages since she last visited.

She surveyed the properly furnished young lady’s room. A uniform hung on the dress form. The ink bottles on the desk came in red, blue, and emerald.

Quite different from yesterday when she only used black and blue-black inks.

In just a quarter hour, her body and memories had adapted so rapidly that Hildegard couldn’t suppress her impulses.

She’d surely be scolded by the maids. Visiting Lauren at this early hour would earn her reprimands for unladylike behavior.

“I don’t care how much they scold me. Because Lauren is alive.”

Hildegard simply threw a long cardigan over her nightgown and quietly opened her door.

If she listened carefully, she could hear faint sounds from downstairs.

The servants rose early, probably already preparing for the day.

But it was still too early for her maid to come.

“Lauren, are you awake?”

Lauren was Hildegard’s younger brother.

Since this was the year Hildegard entered the academy, Lauren would be fourteen, two years her junior.

He still had ten years left in this world.

“Lauren. This time I’ll stay by your side.”

In her previous life, she hadn’t been needed by her husband.

But she was grateful for having experienced a woman’s full life. She’d had enough experience as a noble’s wife, so this time she didn’t need to marry.

So in this life, she resolved to stay by Lauren’s side until his last day. The regret of not being there for her brother during his short life.

She didn’t want to experience that second regret in this lifetime.

She walked silently down the hallway. Ah, the smell of the mansion was different. The scent of the marquis’s household versus her childhood home. Remembering both, she headed down the hall toward the sunny corner room.

Her chest grew warm at the familiar door.

After a soft knock, there was a pause before a voice asked, “Who is it?”

Lauren was on the other side.

“It’s me.”

“Sister?”

Ah, his voice was so high. Even as an adult he’d had a relatively high voice, but hearing the remnants of childhood in his tone now, Hildegard pressed her forehead against the door, holding back the tears threatening to fall.