Inertial Dependence - Chapter 9

Chapter 9: A Different Kind of Dream

Yan Ciwei was getting to know this side of herself for the first time.

She knew she had an intense desire for An Chixu. Since a very long time ago, her gaze had frequently drifted to An Chixu’s fingertips, her nose, her jaw, her chest, and her abdomen… She craved An Chixu’s body, but even more, she craved her “descent.”

She had had dreams like that.

In their senior year of high school, Yan Ciwei, born half a year earlier, had already turned eighteen. That day, An Chixu came to celebrate her birthday; they huddled together in a rented room, pulling the covers over their heads to watch a horror movie. When the ghost appeared, An Chixu threw herself into Yan Ciwei’s arms, pretending to tremble as she held her tight.

A strand of the young girl’s lotus-scented hair brushed against Yan Ciwei’s nose, tickling her until she lost her composure; after a sneeze, she simply tumbled into An Chixu’s embrace. They turned off the thrill-seeking horror movie and, in the lingering ambiguous atmosphere, began to smear cream on each other.

That night, An Chixu slept beside Yan Ciwei. Yan Ciwei held her, and her dreams were full of absurdity. In the dream, An Chixu followed her around, her accessories shaped like cream cakes. Yan Ciwei used her finger to pinch a bit of cream and scraped it onto An Chixu’s collarbone. An Chixu sat obediently, her eyes moist. She looked at her with watery eyes, turning Yan Ciwei into the guiding “Sister.”

And so, Yan Ciwei hooked her finger at An Chixu.

“Come kiss me.”

In the dream, An Chixu took the cream on her collarbone—the cream Yan Ciwei had personally applied—and smeared it all over Yan Ciwei.

Since then, Yan Ciwei hadn’t dreamed of An Chixu for a very long time. They had spent six stable years together before the arguments erupted in the seventh. An Chixu said her grievances had been building for a long time. Yan Ciwei knew nothing about it.

After they separated, Yan Ciwei restrained her longing, not wanting to disturb An Chixu, using physical pain as a suppressant. Pain all night long—how could she find the space to invite An Chixu into her dreams?

But these past few days, An Chixu had appeared too frequently. Aside from her own self-importance, they were always meeting at the company. That “chance encounter” in the elevator was a coincidence she had meticulously calculated. She originally thought that would be the only time. She told herself that indulgence only needed to happen once.

But she had actually seen An Chixu—not a photo, a memory, or some plausible internet user. She could no longer restrain her longing and came before An Chixu.

It was actually quite ugly. They had agreed not to disturb each other, and An Chixu had gone to great pains to draw a clear line. Yet, she had embarrassed herself in front of An Chixu once again. The distance she had struggled to maintain widened once more. This time, even seeing An Chixu brought her no peace.

Yan Ciwei dragged her exhausted heart home and set up her IV drip again. She scratched the spot on her left hand where the needle had been. The itchiness made her brow furrow tightly.

Night had fallen again. Her people reported that today’s promotional event was a great success and that An Chixu had left an hour ago. Calculating the time, An Chixu should have already arrived home and started washing up to relax.

Yan Ciwei collapsed onto her bed, sprawling out shamelessly, her eyes vacant. The phone beside her buzzed incessantly; annoyed, she couldn’t help but throw it across the bed. She didn’t check the messages, turned it off, and closed her eyes.

Only by thinking of An Chixu as she fell asleep could she find peace.

An Chixu didn’t return home until after she finished accompanying Shen Jibai through the promotional event. Today’s event went very smoothly. Even though only a few fans came, Shen Jibai was in a great state. She really didn’t stick to the persona; instead, she walked down from the stage and sincerely thanked the fans who had supported her for a long time.

A sincere person receives the rewards she deserves.

In the forty-plus minutes since An Chixu returned home, the video of Shen Jibai interacting with fans showed signs of becoming a hit, already reaching a hundred thousand likes. This was filmed by a genuine passerby who liked the group; looking at her profile, she seemed to be a “group fan” whose favorite was Zhou Yanxi, but she also attended events for other members.

The people arranged by the company hadn’t finished editing their videos yet; they would likely jump on the trend soon, pretending to be passersby to post them. This was a good thing. Shen Jibai had taken the first step and become herself again, even if only for five minutes. Those who loved her wouldn’t retreat because of the reality she showed. Shen Jibai was a very cute girl to begin with.

An Chixu’s mood, however, failed to lift despite the professional success. She was so downcast that she skipped dinner, drank a glass of cold water, and went to wash up.

Orange kept meowing beside her, but she could only put out some cat food for her before locking herself in her room, lacking the strength to give the poor cat even an extra pat. Orange scratched at the door, but An Chixu couldn’t respond, lying gloomily on the bed until Orange eventually left.

She slowly got out of bed and found Yan Ciwei’s cloth doll. She knew Yan Ciwei had one made in her likeness. This was a first-anniversary gift they had given each other during university; the deeply-in-love young couple had coincidentally prepared the same gift for each other. She had sewn herself and received the Yan Ciwei from her lover’s hands.

Thinking back, Yan Ciwei must have kept that cloth doll safe as well.

An Chixu brushed over the doll’s face, tenderly rubbing the cheeks that had only recently been cleaned. The texture felt a bit stiff compared to their freshman year. Since it was a gift from Yan Ciwei, An Chixu couldn’t bring herself to throw it away.

Today, however, An Chixu had seen Yan Ciwei stabbing that doll.

An Chixu placed the doll on the nightstand, staring blankly at the red mole she once loved. How could she describe her feelings when she saw Yan Ciwei stabbing the doll? They had been broken up for so long, yet they were still inextricably entangled.

Perhaps Yan Ciwei hated her, which was why she vented her anger on her doll. She unexpectedly felt depressed because of that scene. But they had loved each other for so long, and in the end, things became a mess; she was the one who proposed the breakup, so she was actually the one who had wronged Yan Ciwei. She deserved what she got.

So, stop thinking about Yan Ciwei’s affairs.

An Chixu calmed down until her emotions turned icy and sank to the bottom. She opened her phone, only to realize something.

Pei Yuxi hadn’t replied to her all day. Had something happened?

She didn’t know that Pei Yuxi also found it strange, not having received a new video of Orange all day. She would finish her most difficult exam in a couple of days and would have time to care for the kitten. She had to find a way to get Orange back from this “fake cat slave,” so she sent a message.

“Miss, I want to take Orange for the weekend in a few days. Is it convenient to arrange a hand-off? I might send her back to your place on Monday.”

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