I Thought I Was Married, But I Was Left Alone, So I'll Live as I Please. So Please Don't Mind Me Anymore, My Lord of the Border - Chapter 8

I thought I’d feel a bit better after pouring out all my feelings, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Why do I have to go through this?

If he hadn’t contacted me like this, I wouldn’t be feeling this way.

Something useless turned into a useful tool, so isn’t that good enough…?

“…Even so, you’re still my fiancée.”

The Frontier Count looked at me with a pained expression, clinging to me as if squeezing out the words.

What, he hasn’t submitted the cancellation paperwork yet?

Well, I’d pretty much forgotten the engagement even existed.

“Then please send the engagement dissolution documents to the Kreuz territory. I’ll sign them anytime if needed. That will end everything.”

“That I refuse.”

My breath caught. I never expected to be rejected.

“…Refuse? Why?”

I hadn’t intended to look him in the eye, but before I realized it, I was staring straight into his pupils.

The person who had coldly rejected me so harshly that day was now looking at me with eyes that couldn’t hide their uncertainty.

Something creaked deep in my gut.

“Your troublesome fiancée is gone. You should be happy.”

“I…”

His voice trembled.

“I want you. Even now, I want you as my fiancée.”

…What a sly person. Really, it’s far too late now.

I don’t know if I’m frustrated, sad, or angry.

I want to tell him not to mess with me, but I don’t even have the energy for that.

Is it because over these two years I’ve come to know him as a lord worthy of respect?

“Isn’t it a bit too late for that now?”

My voice cracked slightly.

“I know. I understand. I did something unforgivable. I apologize from the bottom of my heart.”

“I’ll accept your apology. But that won’t bring back the past.”

It’s also sly that he doesn’t make excuses about being overwhelmed with dealing with magical beasts back then.

If he’d said that, I could have complained that it wasn’t my problem.

But he just apologizes sincerely.

His gaze conveys his apology so intensely it hurts.

He must understand the pain that remains in my chest.

Even so. The loneliness and despair of being abandoned back then won’t disappear so easily.

“I think it would be better if we both forgot about it.”

“……”

As if the engagement had never existed.

The Frontier Count would protect this territory, and I would contribute to this land as one of its people.

Wouldn’t that be fine?

Silence fell.

His hand trembled slightly on the rim of the cup he held.

Noticing that, I realized I was similarly clenching my fists on my knees.

“I want to live here as an alchemist. I don’t want to be your fiancée. Please understand.”

“Do you hate me that much?”

“Yes. I respect you as the Frontier Count. However, I have no desire for any personal relationship with you.”

When I said this while looking directly at him, my chest felt terribly empty.

The Frontier Count remained bowed for a while without moving.

When he finally raised his head, his green eyes—like they reflected the beautiful herb garden of Graphica—held the same determination as that dawn light.

“Even so… I won’t let this be the end.”

“…What?”

“If I run away with nothing but regret, I won’t be able to face you. I’ll apologize to you as many times as it takes until you acknowledge me. I’ll come to see you again and again.”

The more he spoke, the more his fists trembled.

Then, as if steeling himself, he stood up, came to stand beside me, knelt down, took my hand, and kissed my fingertips.

The air grew still.

His green eyes pierced straight through me.

His blond hair, reflecting the light, was as soft as sunlight.

The face I couldn’t see properly back then was now so close…

“My name is Oliver Graphica. I am the lord entrusted with this Graphica Frontier Territory.”

“Yes. My name is Ash.”

Noble etiquette required that I introduce myself in return when a superior had given their name.

Still seated since he held my hand, I gave my name and bowed. Not mentioning my family name was a small act of resistance to emphasize that I am Ash the alchemist.

“I thank you for coming to this land once more.”

“Your words are too kind. I will do my utmost to serve the Graphica Frontier Territory ‘as an alchemist.'”

I emphasized “as an alchemist” in my formal reply.

What is this all of a sudden? As I stared at the kneeling Lord Oliver, an outrageous statement came from his beautifully shaped, slightly parted lips.

“I’ve fallen for you.”

“!?”

“That’s why I have no intention of letting go of you, my fiancée.”

“……”

“I’ll come to see you dozens, no, hundreds of times. I won’t give up until you turn to look my way.”

Looking straight into my eyes, he kissed my fingertips once more, then turned his back without waiting for my reply, bowing deeply.

The door closed. The sound was unexpectedly quiet and lingered in my heart.

“…Really, what is this. Nobles are such selfish creatures.”

Even as I muttered this, my face felt slightly warm.

…Oh damn it, how irritating. Why does my face betray me too?

It’s just because I was surprised by something unfamiliar, yes, just surprised!

…I experienced firsthand the destructive power of a handsome man.

My body reacted automatically, startled by his unprecedented words and actions.

How terrifying.

Pressing my heated face, I glanced at the cup on the table. It had gone completely cold.

Taking a sip, it was faintly bitter, and tears welled up.

If I stayed alone like this, I’d only think about unnecessary things.

I chugged the rest in one go, stood up, and ran toward Tom.

“Moo! I told you to stay with me, you traitor!”

“Even so…”

“Tom, you have to be on my side, no excuses!”

“Alright, alright. My bad.”

After throwing a proper tantrum and being thoroughly spoiled, the fog in my chest had cleared.

Yeah, Tom’s the best for mental care.

Sigh, so healing.

While clinging to Tom, I vaguely thought that I’d forgotten to say “No matter how many times you come, I’ll refuse.”