I Still Miss Her [Rebirth] - Chapter 7

Chapter 7: At This Moment, She Wanted to Kiss Her Again.

Fang Rulian instinctively pulled her tighter. Hearing the girl let out a low, labored gasp as if she were in discomfort, Rulian loosened her grip slightly and asked softly, “What… what happened?”

Fang Zhiyi took a few more breaths. In Rulian’s embrace, her breathing gradually became steady and calm. “I saw someone. I jumped in and saved them.”

With her hands lightly clutching Rulian’s clothes, Zhiyi slowly recounted the story. “It happened this Tuesday. I saw it while passing the lake at noon. It was a girl. After I pulled her up, she was taken away by an ambulance. She’s fine now.”

Fang Rulian let out a sigh of relief, looking down at Zhiyi leaning against her shoulder. “That’s good. You’re amazing—you saved a life.”

As far as Rulian knew, Zhiyi wasn’t much of a swimmer; she could barely manage to stay afloat. Jumping in recklessly to save a classmate was brave, but she needed to be taught to act within her limits.

However, now was clearly not the right time. The young girl had just saved someone; as her sister, Rulian couldn’t pour cold water on her achievement yet. She planned to have a talk with her tomorrow about being more careful.

She pulled back, her palms resting on Zhiyi’s shoulders. “Saving someone is a good thing, you preserved a life. But… why aren’t you happy?”

The girl’s eyelids lifted, and her dark pupils met Rulian’s gaze like heavy, deep water.

For just a fleeting second, that heavy emotion dissolved. Rulian didn’t see it clearly, but her heart suddenly twinged with a sharp pain.

She instinctively knit her brows and looked away, then heard Zhiyi’s voice:

“When I jumped in, the girl was already unresponsive.” Zhiyi’s voice was cool, like the surface of a lake at night. She tilted her head slightly, looking up at the beautiful woman, and for some reason, her lips curled into a faint smile. “I kept swimming inward. I couldn’t see anything underwater. I swam for so long before I finally caught her. Her body was so heavy… and mine became heavy too. I dragged her toward the shore, but I felt like I couldn’t pull her anymore. I felt like I was about to drown, too… Ah!”

A sudden slap landed on her shoulder. Zhiyi jumped, startled, and snapped her back straight.

“If you can’t pull them, let go! There are so many teachers and security guards at school; it’s not up to a student to play hero.” The more Rulian heard the description, the angrier she got, forgetting all about comfort and encouragement. “You’re only a half-baked swimmer, yet you’re bold enough to jump in like that!”

Zhiyi lowered her head but kept her eyes on Rulian, her expression filled with a bit of grievance.

Rulian’s heart softened at that look. She sighed and reached out to rub the spot she had just slapped. “Keep talking.”

“Afterward, I dragged her to the shore, the teachers arrived, and the ambulance took her away.” Zhiyi lowered her gaze, her eyes sweeping over the spot Rulian had slapped, then glancing at Rulian’s slender fingertips. She squinted slightly before quickly looking away.

“I was just thinking… what if I hadn’t saved her?” Faint light flickered in her dark pupils. “What if I had been careless and… died in there? What then?”

The hands on the girl’s shoulders moved upward to her face. Rulian pinched her cheeks, then, feeling that wasn’t enough, raised her other hand until she was cupping Zhiyi’s face.

“If you hadn’t saved her, you would still be a kind and brave student. You tried your best; it would just be her bad luck.” Rulian paused, her brows furrowed. “As for the second possibility… then our family would be having a funeral feast. And all your hard work through six years of elementary, three of middle school, and three of high school would be wasted.”

“You have just over a month until the Gaokao,” Rulian said, kneading Zhiyi’s face as if to vent. The skin felt cool against her palms, warming slightly from the friction. “So don’t let that second possibility happen, okay? Fang Zhiyi.”

Zhiyi stared at her intently, and Rulian couldn’t tell if she was truly listening. Rulian lifted her chin and leaned in close. “Great courage, poor judgment. I’ll let it slide this time, but don’t let it happen again.”

The black-and-white eyes blinked. The girl’s thin bangs swayed with Rulian’s breath.

“Give me an answer. If you don’t speak, I’m going to kick you,” Rulian warned, her “gentle sister” persona lasting only a few seconds.

Zhiyi tilted her head back, her chin feeling awkward in Rulian’s grip. “I understand.”

Releasing her, Rulian asked about the aftermath.

Zhiyi didn’t hide it; she said the girl had a conflict with a friend and acted on a momentary impulse. The girl was fine and had already returned to classes.

Teenagers can be sensitive, Rulian sighed.

“Drowning is very painful.”

Rulian’s expression faltered for a moment, and she nodded in deep agreement. “So, in the future, leave things like this to mature adults. Students shouldn’t get involved. If you jump in, you might just cause more trouble, and the rescuers will have to pull out two people instead of one.”

Zhiyi: “Mhm.”

The pungent smell of the ointment lingered. Outside the closed door, the two adults were talking about something, their loud laughter drifting in occasionally.

Rulian and Zhiyi locked eyes for two seconds. As if under a spell, they both suppressed a smile, then looked away at the same time, maintaining a tacit distance.

Rulian couldn’t hold it in; the moment she turned her head, a laugh broke out. She relaxed, leaning against the bed, her eyes brimming with mirth.

The bed was soft, chosen for her by Fang Hong. The room held a faint fragrance from the incense Mu Yunshu had bought her. Zhiyi sat beside her, so close that Rulian could pull her into her arms with just a reach.

Rulian laughed until she cried.

She took a breath, holding back the tears. Once her eyes cooled down, she turned back and collided with Zhiyi’s direct gaze. “I laughed until I cried,” Rulian said.

She exhaled and reached out to hook a strand of Zhiyi’s hair. It was still damp.

“Next time, dry your hair more. It’s easy to catch a cold, especially at night.”

“Mhm.” Zhiyi’s tone sounded a bit lighter.

Rulian’s fingers toyed with the hair, the damp black strands wrapping around her fingertips several times. It felt a bit tight. She shook her hand, and the loosened hair slid from her knuckles, leaving behind a faint scent.

“Alright, go back to sleep. You’ve been working hard. Get some rest.”

Sensing her own straying thoughts, Rulian began to shoo her out.

But as the girl rose to leave, Rulian pulled her back—her physical reaction faster than her brain. By the time Rulian realized it, she was already holding Zhiyi’s hand.

It was very cold.

Both of them froze.

But really, it was nothing. She had held Zhiyi’s hand since they were kids. Even when Zhiyi didn’t want to, Rulian would insist on grabbing it, interlacing their fingers so she couldn’t pull away.

Normal sisters can hold hands; it’s fine.

In a split second, Rulian finished her psychological construction. She convinced herself and quickly slotted her fingers one by one into the gaps of Zhiyi’s fingers.

The other’s body was stiff, and her hand was too, which was consistent with Zhiyi’s usual reaction. Rulian ignored it and looked up at her with a smile. “We haven’t seen each other in a while. How about a hug?”

Against the light, she couldn’t see Zhiyi’s expression clearly, but she guessed it was that same reluctant look. However, given the girl’s “top student” upbringing and her desensitization to her sister’s antics, she didn’t pull away.

Though Rulian phrased it as a question, she didn’t actually wait for an answer. She pulled the girl toward her in the next instant.

She had always been a person who followed her heart.

She never needed a reason to hug Zhiyi—it was her right as a sister. She wasn’t crossing any lines.

Zhiyi was indeed thin and fragile. Rulian felt like she barely used any strength before the shadow carrying a faint scent of soap draped over her.

Her original plan was just a simple hug, but the shadow fell a bit too fast. Rulian wasn’t sitting steadily and was immediately pinned against the bed by Zhiyi.

In the confusion, her ankle brushed against the bed frame. Rulian hissed in pain. When she opened her eyes, the girl’s enlarged features were suddenly right there.

Still against the light, she couldn’t see the color of Zhiyi’s eyes, but at this proximity, she could see her slightly furrowed brows and hear her ragged breathing.

The breath brushed against Rulian’s face. Rulian smiled and offered a sincere suggestion: “You really need to exercise more, Fang Zhiyi.”

A simple pull brought her down to the bed, and she was already gasping for air. This high schooler was more frail than an eighty-year-old.

“Are you going to hug me?”

The warm breath puffed against her. At eighteen, Zhiyi didn’t yet know that Rulian had bad intentions toward her; she was simply focused on fulfilling her sister’s wish. Rulian tilted her head to avoid the breath, thinking with some worry: Zhiyi is so simple-minded; she’ll be easily tricked by people in the future.

“If I want a hug, you give me one. If I wanted something else, would you give it?”

Fang Rulian smiled.

With her hands around Zhiyi’s neck, Rulian applied a little pressure. Zhiyi’s face pressed down a few more inches. Their noses were barely two fingers apart. Rulian could feel Zhiyi’s breath sweeping across her skin.

Zhiyi was nervous; her throat bobbed visibly.

Rulian stared into the eyes so close to her own. She couldn’t see the color, but she found them incredibly pitiable. She really wanted to lean in and kiss them softly.

She had done it before. Zhiyi hadn’t cooperated, and when the kiss landed on her eyelids, Rulian could feel the eyeballs darting around in panic beneath the cool skin, ruining the romantic atmosphere Rulian had imagined.

At this moment, she wanted to kiss her again.

Rulian tilted her head up. As she moved closer, she sensed Zhiyi’s breath hitch. The room was silent. The girl lying on top of her was trembling slightly.

That was the one bad thing about Zhiyi—she cared too much about their sisterly bond and didn’t want to hurt her. Even when she was unwilling, she wouldn’t say it. This lack of communication often gave Rulian many false impressions.

Fortunately, Rulian had died once and turned over a new leaf. She didn’t move any closer, stopping at a safe distance.

“Hmm?” Rulian laughed, holding her. “Why are you closing your eyes?”

She was so scared she closed her eyes, yet she still wouldn’t push her away.

The trembling lashes finally opened. Zhiyi turned her head. “I’m sleepy.”

Rulian gave a shallow laugh, her hands moving from the shoulders to Zhiyi’s lower back, slowly embracing her.

The familiar body heat transferred from her arms, palms, and where their bodies met. A sense of security and satisfaction wrapped around Rulian.

She forcibly suppressed a sigh of comfort, pretending to play the role of the older sister, teaching her ignorant younger sister: “I was just about to play the rogue with you. Keep your guard up.”

“Telling me before playing the rogue… Sister is almost too polite.”

Rulian’s heart felt warmed by Zhiyi’s temperature. The girl’s hair fell into the crook of Rulian’s neck, making the skin itch slightly. “You haven’t seen enough. The world is full of ‘beasts in suits’—polite scoundrels.”

Your sister is one of them, Rulian thought.

“Don’t worry, Sister. I have a very high guard against strangers I’m not familiar with.”

Fang Rulian: “Crimes by acquaintances are a high-occurrence area.”

The implication was too direct. The more Rulian thought about it, the more she felt like a piece of work. Especially hearing the voices outside the bedroom, she steadied her breathing and released Zhiyi. “Get up and go to sleep. You’re making my chest hurt.”

The two of them climbed up from the bed.

Having just committed an “acquaintance crime,” Rulian felt very guilty. She thought for a moment and said before Zhiyi could leave: “Prepare well for your exams. After the Gaokao, you can make one wish, and I’ll fulfill it as long as it’s within my power.”

The girl turned to look at her and suddenly smiled.

“Not anything can be fulfilled,” Rulian clarified, sensing something ominous. “Only if it’s within my power. If you want the stars or the moon, I can’t help you.”

“I don’t want the stars or the moon.”

Hearing that, Rulian realized she already had something in mind. She was curious: “What do you want?”

Zhiyi had always been a person with few material desires; Rulian really couldn’t imagine what she would ask for.

“I’ll tell you after the exams.”