I Once Thought I Had No Place, Being Married Off to An Enemy Nation as A Token of Apology but That Was Only for One Night - Chapter 3

It was the morning of my departure. I was saying goodbye to the room where I had been born and raised. A faint sunlight filtered through the thin curtains, illuminating the desk. I softly traced my fingers over the clock I was leaving behind, which was caught in that gentle light.

“This was the gift I received for saving a town during my very first purification,” I whispered.

The Purification Snow I use turns black as it absorbs miasma. While some feared it as an ill omen, the person who gave me this clock thanked me from the bottom of their heart. It remains one of my most irreplaceable memories.

Truthfully, I wanted to take it with me. However, my room was lined with countless such mementos, and taking them all was simply impossible for me now. I cut through my lingering regrets and forced my eyes away from the desk.

I realized there was only one thing left to take. I picked up a necklace that had been displayed on the shelf.

“This is a memento of my mother,” I said to the empty room.

I had always intended to give this to my own daughter someday, just as my mother had done for me. After a moment of quiet reflection, I tucked it into my pocket.

With a final bow, I left the room. As I walked down the hallway, I ran into my older brother at a corner. I gave a slight nod, intending to pass him without a word. However, he spoke to me irritably.

“Are you still in this country?” he demanded.

“I intend to depart today,” I replied.

“I see. Then hurry to the Empire and obtain forgiveness on my behalf. It is thanks to me that you get to marry the Emperor, so at least be useful for that much.”

He barked his words one-sidedly and hurried away. I wondered what was wrong with my brother. I thought he was just in a particularly foul mood on the day of the meeting, but it seemed that was not the case. Besides, it was strange for him to say I should obtain forgiveness. Knowing his personality, I expected him to say that since he had given them the Token of Apology, the matter was already settled. I simply did not understand his behavior.

However, I reached the conclusion that it no longer concerned me, as I was leaving the country. I stopped thinking about it then. In truth, at that moment, my brother was already suffering the consequences of his own actions. It would be some time before I learned the satisfying reason why.

I arrived at the courtyard in front of the main gate. Where the carriage was parked, the members of the Knight Order led by the Commander and the Saintesses brought by the Priestess were lined up. As our eyes met, the Commander and the Priestess approached me.

“We truly wanted to escort you to the port, but since Crown Prince Sigurd’s subordinates are handling the guard duty, we came to say our farewells here,” the Commander said as he bowed deeply. “Princess Noel, it was an honor to fight alongside you until now. No matter what Crown Prince Sigurd says, you are a Saintess who is necessary to the Knight Order. I swear here that if anything happens, we will surely come to your aid.”

“Thank you. I felt reassured being protected by all of you as well,” I replied.

I exchanged a handshake with the Commander. Next, I turned to the Priestess, the former Saintess who had raised me into a fine Saintess myself.

“Thank you for everything,” I said.

“I am the one who should be thanking you,” she replied. “Though there were those who spoke ill of you, your achievements are beyond doubt. You have worked hard enough. From now on, you should live for yourself.”

I was surprised to hear her say such a thing, but I was happy.

“To be honest, I am not very worried,” she continued. “I believe that an excellent Saintess like you will surely be recognized in the Rayvel Empire.”

They were similar words to those my father had spoken, yet the Priestess’s words held genuine warmth.

“Thank you. I was wavering in many ways, but my resolve is set. I will become the wife of the Emperor of Rayvel and strive to be a bridge to the Kingdom of Ashtar,” I told her.

I cannot forgive my brother’s treatment, and I feel nothing but disappointment toward my indifferent father. However, I had people like this who cared for me. Therefore, I will do what I can for them because I want to.

This was the opposite of the Priestess’s suggestion. I expected her to be bewildered, but she only gave a wry smile.

“I thought you might say that. You do not have to carry it all by yourself, you know,” she said.

“Thank you for your concern, but this is my way of life,” I insisted.

I made a promise to the boy who encouraged me back then. Though I am too ashamed to show my face to him now, that is no reason to stop trying.

“Thank you for everything,” I said once more.

As I waved to the people who had cared for me, they waved back grandly and called out their farewells one after another. I etched that scene into my heart and stood before the carriage. There, I saw Mireille.

“Since you were not in the room, I thought you were not coming to see me off,” I said.

“Indeed, I will not be seeing you off,” she replied.

I wondered what she came here for. As I tilted my head in confusion, I noticed Mireille was holding a large bag.

“Mireille, you do not mean what I think you mean,” I started.

“I am Princess Noel’s lady-in-waiting,” she stated firmly. Her brown eyes pleaded with me, suggesting she would follow me anywhere.

She is twenty-seven now and has served me for about seven years. To me, she was the only one I could truly talk to and was like an elder sister figure who was unconditionally on my side.

“I have already asked the Priestess to look after you. You should not have any trouble finding work,” I told her. I had no intention of taking her to a dangerous enemy nation. Despite being pushed away, she shook her head.

“I appreciate your kindness, but I am going with you,” she said.

“You cannot,” I insisted.

“No. If you had not listened to my reckless personal appeal that day, my sister, who was infested by miasma, would have died. Therefore, I will follow you anywhere.”

I felt as if she were saying she would follow me even to her death, and I nearly burst into tears. Even between a lady-in-waiting and her mistress, it is ultimately an employment relationship. It is not rare for that bond to end abruptly when the master falls from power. Yet, Mireille still adored me. That made me truly happy, and that is exactly why I had to push her away.

“What about your sister if you are gone?” I asked.

“I have given her all the money I have saved until now,” she replied.

“Your sister is still young, is she not? She needs family.”

“Even so, my sister gave me a push and told me to follow you.”

A surge of emotion welled up, but I bit my lip and endured it.

“How foolish. I am sure you told her it was because I am her lifesaver. If you say that, there is no way she could tell you she wants you to stay. So, you cannot go.”

“Princess Noel, please,” Mireille started.

I shook my head firmly. “I do not trust my family. I do not have expectations for them because I have never been loved. But you two are different. For the sake of your sister, you came to me on the battlefield to appeal to me directly.”

I will never forget that sight. At that time, it would not have been strange if Mireille had died. I admired the family love of Mireille and her sister.

“That is why I want you two to be close and happy,” I told her, entrusting my feelings to her.

Mireille’s shoulders trembled as she shed tears. “That is unfair, Princess Noel. If you say it like that, I cannot refuse.”

“You do not have to refuse.” I took the necklace from my pocket and pressed it into Mireille’s hand.

“Princess Noel, is this not your mother’s memento?”

“It is. I thought I would give it to my daughter someday, but that is impossible for me now, so I am entrusting it to you. When you have a daughter someday, give it to her.”

“I cannot accept this. Please give this to your own daughter,” Mireille said, trying to push the necklace back while tears streamed down her face.

But I refused. “Please. Be happy for my sake as well.”

“Do not say such sad things as being happy for your sake,” she cried.

“If I do not say it, will you accept it?”

“If you promise not to give up on becoming happy yourself, Princess Noel, then I will,” she said after a long struggle.

“I promise. I will not give up until the end. And if I ever feel that I have become happy, I will send you a letter.”

“Yes. When that time comes, I will go to see you with my sister while carrying this necklace,” she said. With tears still flowing, she gripped the necklace like a treasure.

“I will look forward to that day,” I replied.

While I thought that such a day would likely never come, I said goodbye to Mireille with a smile.

The carriage carrying me began to move along with the escort knights. Saying goodbye to the country where I was born and raised, I aimed for the continent across the sea. My role in this country was over, and I was set to walk a new path in life.

Looking out the window, I saw Mireille being held back as she tried to run toward the carriage. I desperately suppressed the emotions that were about to overflow and looked forward to shake off my lingering attachments.

The carriage proceeded quietly through the main street of the Royal Capital. I thought there would be no one to see off someone who bore the name of the ominous Black Snow. However, as we moved outside the Royal Capital, a cheer suddenly rose. I was confused about what was happening.

The attendant sitting next to me, who was my brother’s monitor, pointed out the window. “Princess Noel, please look at that.”

I saw the residents waving. I wondered if they were waving to me. Their voices soon reached my ears.

“Lady Noel, thank you for everything!” “Please be happy in the Rayvel Empire!”

Those were the words that reached me. The number of people was not large, but each of those voices was blessing my future.

“Why is this happening? I thought I was shunned as the Saintess of Black Snow,” I said.

“That was a rumor spread by those who wanted to disparage you,” the attendant explained. “Most of the residents in the Capital believe it, but there are many who adore you, such as the residents of the towns you saved.”

“So, most of the people here are from other towns?” I asked. It was not easy for people from other towns to come to the Capital without someone’s arrangement. I began to realize who might be responsible for the disparagement.

“You are my brother’s attendant, are you not?” I asked him.

“I would surely face severe punishment if found out. However, I wanted you to know the fact that there were many in this country who adored you,” he replied.

“Yes, I will remember that,” I said.

Inadvertently, my vision blurred with tears. In the end, I loved this country. There were many unpleasant things, but there were just as many happy things. There were people I could call comrades, and I truly had a place where I belonged. I am glad I realized that at the very end. I wept quietly while surrendering myself to the swaying of the carriage.