I Crossed Over with My Enemy, Only to Find Him Running the Empire - Chapter 10

Chapter 10: I Want My Wife

“She’ll definitely suspect that my son has been possessed by something dirty! If that happens, their first instinct won’t be to cancel the sale; it’ll be to find a spirit medium to perform an exorcism. Or worse, they’ll tie you up as a demonic entity and drown you in a pig cage! You’re not helping me; you’re just tired of living and dragging me to the grave with you!”

Li Qiaoqiao’s rapid-fire delivery completely extinguished Wu Ya’s impulsive heat. He stood frozen, his expression flickering between frustration and realization.

Indeed, he was currently “Wu Tieniu,” the village idiot.

“Then… what do we do?” Wu Ya’s voice carried a hint of defeat.

Seeing him calm down, Li Qiaoqiao’s mind raced. “Brute force is out. We have to play the part!” A glint of cunning flashed in her eyes. “An idiot has an idiot’s way of doing things. Listen to me—we coordinate and put on a show for them!”

She leaned into his ear and whispered the plan. Wu Ya listened, nodding slowly.

“Fine. Let’s do it.” Wu Ya took a deep breath and pointed toward the dark kitchen. “Go to the kitchen first and pretend to work. When you hear a commotion from my side—crashing and smashing—run in immediately! Remember, you must look panicked and worried sick about me!”

“Got it!” Li Qiaoqiao gave him an “OK” gesture.

She turned and slipped out, creeping into the pitch-black kitchen. It smelled of grease, smoke, and old leftovers. She felt her way to the water vat, picked up a chipped ceramic bowl and a dried luffa sponge, and began mindlessly scrubbing. Her ears, however, were tuned like radar to the thin mud wall.

Minutes passed. The only sound was the faint clink of her dishes. Li Qiaoqiao’s heart began to thump—Did this guy lose his nerve?

Just as her patience was fraying—

CLANG!!! SPLASH!!!

A thunderous crash erupted from the bedroom. It sounded like a wooden basin being hurled against the floor, followed by the heavy sound of water gushing out.

It’s go time!

Li Qiaoqiao’s heart leaped. She tossed the bowl and sponge into the vat and, without even drying her hands, bolted out. Her face instantly shifted into a mask of pure terror. As she ran, she wailed in a voice laced with tears: “What happened? Husband! Husband, are you okay?”

As she burst from the kitchen, she saw Zhang Jinhua and the eldest sister-in-law, Mrs. Wei, rushing out from their own rooms. Zhang Jinhua was the fastest, nearly losing a shoe as she cried out, “Oh my heavens! Tieniu! My son! Don’t scare your mother!”

The three women reached the small room almost simultaneously.

Under the dim oil lamp, Wu Tieniu sat on the floor, soaked to the bone. Strands of wet hair clung to his forehead, dripping water. The washbasin lay overturned beside him, and the floor was a lake, soaking his trousers and shoes. He stared blankly at the puddles, his lips turning a faint blue from the cold. He looked pathetic and utterly helpless.

Early winter well water… Li Qiaoqiao internally gave the “CEO” a thumbs up. To play the fool, he was certainly ruthless toward himself.

“Oh, my Tieniu!” Zhang Jinhua’s heart ached at the sight of her bedraggled son. She lunged forward to help him. “How did this happen? How did you fall? Get up! Get up! You’ll catch your cold!”

As she reached for him, she instinctively turned her venom toward Li Qiaoqiao, her voice reaching a shrill peak:

“Li Qiaoqiao! You jinx! Are you dead? I told you to watch him! How could he fall like this under your nose? What use are you? You’re just a waste of rice! If anything happens to my son, I’ll have your skin!”

Spit practically flew onto Li Qiaoqiao’s face.

Li Qiaoqiao rolled her eyes internally but stayed in character. Her eyes turned red, and she looked terrified. “Mother, I was wrong! I was just washing dishes and heard the crash. I don’t know how he knocked it over! Please don’t be angry, I promise to stay by his side from now on! I’ll clean it up, I’ll clean it up!”

She crouched down, fumbling clumsily to pick up the basin.

Beside them, Mrs. Wei folded her arms and smirked at the mess. “Hmph, fine words. If she can’t even watch a person, what can she do? Mother, don’t just scold her. The most important thing is to get Tieniu into dry clothes! In this weather, if he gets sick, it’s the family’s bad luck. We’d have to pay for a doctor. It’s bad enough feeding a useless person; we can’t be throwing money away on medicine too.”

Her words dripped with contempt for the “idiot” and dissatisfaction with Li Qiaoqiao.

“Yes, yes! Change clothes!” Zhang Jinhua, reminded by Mrs. Wei, stopped her tirade and began fumbling with the buttons of Tieniu’s wet jacket. “Tieniu, be good. Mother will change you into dry clothes so you won’t be cold, okay?”

Mrs. Wei stepped forward too, reaching for his wet waistband.

The moment Zhang Jinhua touched his collar and Mrs. Wei reached for his trousers—

The previously dazed Wu Ya suddenly recoiled as if struck by terror. He twisted his body violently and, like a drowning man grabbing a life raft, he seized Li Qiaoqiao’s sleeve!

“No! No!” he wailed in a thick, stubborn tone. “Don’t want Mother! I don’t want a sister-in-law! I want a wife! Want Qiaoqiao! Qiaoqiao changed me!”

He shouted as he pulled Li Qiaoqiao toward his wet embrace with clumsy, fixed determination.

Pfft— Li Qiaoqiao nearly broke character and laughed out loud at this “CEO-style tantrum (Idiot Version).” She bit the inside of her lip so hard it hurt, using every ounce of her acting ability to suppress the laughter, her shoulders shaking slightly.

Oh god, the cringe is terminal! A modern elite man acting like a toddler shouting “I want my wife to change me.”

“Tieniu! Child! What are you saying?” Zhang Jinhua was stunned by the resistance, then grew frantic. “Your wife is clumsy. How can she do it better than Mother? Let go! Be good! Let Mother change you before you get sick!”

“No! NO!” The “idiot” persona took over. Wu Tieniu shook his head stubbornly, clutching Li Qiaoqiao’s sleeve so hard it nearly tore.