I Am Her Secret Beauty - Chapter 4

Nan Xi couldn’t remember how she had left the living room and returned to her room last night.

It seemed like Mu Xi had escorted her all the way to her door, coaxing her the entire time, urging her not to be too upset and to rest early. She had been soothed into a daze, half in agony and half in bliss as she stumbled into her room. Without even unpacking her suitcase, she collapsed onto the bed and cried.

Even now, Nan Xi was still caught between bitterness and joy, feeling as though she was on the verge of losing her mind.

Of course, she was happy, Mu Xi, who had vanished five years ago, had reappeared completely unharmed. Just standing there in front of her, doing nothing, Nan Xi’s heart had nearly melted into a puddle just looking at her. That slap she had given her was also a punishment to herself.

But Mu Xi didn’t remember her at all. Nan Xi knew her well, there wasn’t a single trace of deception in her reactions or actions. She had genuinely forgotten her entirely.

The tailored suit, the Bluetooth earpiece always at the ready, the professional, polite smile. She really was a butler now.

What had Mu Xi been through these past five years? Why had she disappeared back then?

Had she chosen to forget her on purpose?

Nan Xi rolled over on the soft bed, turning onto her back to face the ceiling and the crystal chandelier, letting her tears flow down the sides of her face toward her earlobes.

She was reliving every moment of her reunion with Mu Xi earlier that day.

After the initial shock came overwhelming anger and resentment… and when she realized Mu Xi didn’t remember her, the surge of hatred nearly drowned her.

The shift in her emotions came when Mu Xi insisted on taking care of her, despite Nan Xi’s threats to fire her.

Nan Xi could feel herself softening in that instant. That side of Mu Xi was all too familiar, meticulously attending to her needs, prioritizing her well-being above all else.

Back in university, because Nan Xi was an especially delicate omega, Mu Xi had spared no effort in looking after her.

Every day, she checked how many layers Nan Xi was wearing, carried anything heavy or cumbersome for her; before going to crowded places, she prepared masks and shielded her from being jostled… and, without fail, made sure the water in her cup was always warm.

So, when Mu Xi told them to prepare warm water for her, all of Nan Xi’s anger had instantly evaporated.

Even though she didn’t remember her, Mu Xi hadn’t changed at all.

Strong, steady, attentive.

Nan Xi had said she didn’t want warm water because she didn’t want anyone else to pour it for her. If anyone was going to take care of her, it had to be Mu Xi, she would only accept it if it came from her personally.

…After Mu Xi disappeared five years ago, Nan Xi had been ill for a long time. The moment she recovered, she flew abroad to study.

Thinking back to those five years, Nan Xi clenched her fists mid-sob and pounded them hard against the blankets.

What wonderful days those had been, how happy they had been together!

How could Mu Xi bear to forget? How could she just forget…

She hated her. Nan Xi decided then she would hate Mu Xi, hate her for the rest of her life.

…

But right now, she was in so much pain.

After hammering the blankets for a while, Nan Xi sat up with a grim expression and began texting her family’s psychologist.

Before she boarded the plane, Nan Zhiya had already given her the contact information for every member of the household staff, including Mu Xi’s. But Nan Xi guessed she must have a private number too.

The psychologist replied almost immediately.

Perhaps it was because this doctor was accustomed to being on call 24/7, or perhaps it was simply because he didn’t dare neglect the young lady of the Nan family. Nan Xi didn’t care which reason it was.

With red-rimmed eyes, she scheduled a psychological consultation with him for the next afternoon.

Since she would undoubtedly wake up late the next day, there was no way she could spare any time in the morning.

This, coincidentally, aligned perfectly with Mu Xi’s own arrangements.

After taking care of this, Nan Xi collapsed back onto the bed, lying motionless as if she had lost all ability to move.

A voice in her head told her she needed to shower, wash her hair, and tidy herself up, presentable and proper, so she wouldn’t lose face when she saw Mu Xi the next day.

But another voice whispered to her, All of this is just a dream you’re having. Do you really think someone who disappeared for five years would suddenly appear in your living room?

Five years… the living room…

In the end, her weakened constitution won out. Nan Xi was simply too exhausted, first from the flight and the car ride, then from crying for so long.

She didn’t shower or wash her hair. Instead, she lay in bed, crying herself to sleep.

Nan Xi was so tired that she didn’t even dream. She slept heavily until noon the next day, waking up with a dull, throbbing headache, as if she had pulled an all-nighter in the lab.

…She was awake.

Had she really not dreamed? Maybe her dream had started much earlier, and everything that happened yesterday was just a figment of her imagination, a fantasy conjured by the overactive parts of her brain beyond the chemical elements.

No Mu Xi. No reunion.

Nan Xi had dreamed like this before dreams where Mu Xi either tearfully apologized and confessed her feelings or stood aloof, mocking and belittling her. But the common thread in every dream was that when she woke up, there was nothing.

Nan Xi was terrified.

To hate someone… that someone has to exist first, right?

She didn’t even bother with her disheveled hair, scrambling out of bed on all fours before pacing anxiously around her room a couple of times. Finally, she resolved to step outside and check.

She was still wearing yesterday’s clothes, her eyes swollen and red like the walnuts her grandfather loved to polish.

Nan Xi gently pushed open her bedroom door, intending to sneak a glance outside, if she could catch a glimpse of Mu Xi, then yesterday hadn’t been a dream.

But reality didn’t leave any room for “sneaking.” The moment she cracked the door open, there stood Mu Xi, dressed impeccably, radiant, right in front of her, as if she had been about to knock.

…

Mu Xi had been standing outside Nan Xi’s door for quite some time.

If Nan Xi didn’t wake up soon, she might have to notify the family doctor scheduled for Nan Xi’s full-body checkup to come later.

But Mu Xi was also wrestling with whether she should wake Nan Xi up and whether she should be the one to do it. So, she hesitated outside Nan Xi’s door.

As she hesitated, the door opened, revealing a beautiful but utterly ghostly face.

The two stared at each other for several seconds.

Nan Xi feigned composure, glaring coldly at the impeccably polite Mu Xi standing outside her door.

But inside, the little voice in her head was frantically tugging at her hair, wishing she could yank it all out.

That look is terrifying.

I really shouldn’t have been the one to wake her up…

Mu Xi awkwardly rubbed her nose and stood at the doorway, attempting to communicate with Nan Xi: “Young Miss, the family doctor will be arriving shortly to conduct your physical examination. Would you be willing to proceed?”

Though she phrased it as a question, Mu Xi was already prepared to be scolded, have the examination canceled, and then apologize profusely to the doctor.

The excuse for cancellation would be a scheduling oversight on her part, certainly not because Young Miss Nan Xi had thrown a tantrum.

“I’ll come downstairs in an hour,” Nan Xi replied coldly, no longer looking at her as she moved to close the door again. Just as the gap narrowed enough to fit only one of Mu Xi’s eyes, Nan Xi abruptly reopened it, her tone laced with threat. “You’d better forget what I look like right now. Pretend you never saw me.”

But Mu Xi’s memory was exceptionally sharp, precisely why she could meticulously remember every task assigned by Nan Zhiya.

Even so, Mu Xi respectfully replied, “Understood,” and even bowed slightly toward the door before turning to head downstairs to prepare for the family doctor’s arrival.

After the extreme circumstances of last night, the fact that the young miss hadn’t outright refused the full-body examination (saving her a mountain of trouble) moved her deeply.

So, what if Nan Xi treated her poorly? That she was willing to spare both of them further conflict was enough for Mu Xi to feel profoundly grateful.

The moment she turned away, Nan Xi’s expression twisted with frustration. Stripping off her clothes, she stormed into the bathroom for a shower, accidentally banging her skin against the tub and leaving a faint red mark.

She poured an excessive amount of bath salts into the tub and, while soaking, busied herself with a beauty device to carefully reduce the puffiness around her eyes before applying skincare products, waiting for them to fully absorb.

Then came brushing her teeth, Nan Xi repeatedly checked her reflection to ensure her teeth were flawlessly white and free of any odd residues. Suddenly, she found herself agonizing over what to wear. Should the color of her dress match the weather or her mood?

A black dress. Black suited her current state of mind and complemented her complexion, preferably so starkly that it made her glow, dazzling Mu Xi blind.

True to her word, Nan Xi completed everything within the hour.

When she reappeared before Mu Xi, she was even more beautiful and haughty than the day before, like a white swan draped in black feathers.

But Mu Xi made no comment on her radiant state.

Instead, she glanced at the two doctors standing before her and hesitantly addressed one of them: “Dr. Zhang, the full-body examination I scheduled for the young miss shouldn’t include mental health. I’m not sure why you-”

“I asked him to come,” Nan Xi interrupted, offering no further explanation.

Mu Xi immediately stifled any further questions. “If that’s what you require, I’ll faithfully document your mental health status as well.”

For Nan Xi’s full-body examination, Mu Xi had cautiously selected a female omega as the family doctor, ensuring even her assistants were all female omegas to avoid unnecessary complications.

She assumed female omegas would naturally get along well, and given that Nan Xi’s physical condition was private, she might not appreciate having Mu Xi present.

Not to mention what had happened the night before.

From the moment Mu Xi laid eyes on Nan Xi today, she had felt deeply awkward, but her professionalism wouldn’t allow her to avoid the situation.

So, when Dr. Anna and her assistant were making preparations in the greenhouse conservatory, Mu Xi quietly stepped back to leave.

But before she could fully retreat, Nan Xi immediately grabbed her wrist.

Nan Xi had been watching her every move and, seeing her about to leave, asked warily, “Where are you going?”

“Young Miss, without your permission, I should excuse myself from your examination.”

“Then I want you to stay,” Nan Xi said at once. “I order you to stay and accompany me during the exam.”

At this point, Nan Xi paused, as if considering whether her tone was too forceful or perhaps impolite.

After a moment of thought, she looked up, forcing a stiff smile, one she believed to be friendly, but which struck Mu Xi as downright menacing:

“You’re my butler, aren’t you? So, I should be able to make such a request of you.”

“Will you stay?”