I Am Her Secret Beauty - Chapter 27

Mu Xi walked out the door alone, exchanged greetings with two passing servants in the garden, then got into the car and started the engine.

Was autumn coming? She felt a slight chill.

Silently gripping the steering wheel, Mu Xi’s expression was far from pleasant. She could feel the stiffness in her face, and when she glanced in the rearview mirror, she saw her own gloomy reflection, her lips devoid of color.

She worried that this would make it too easy for Nan Xi to notice something was wrong, but she hadn’t brought any lipstick with her, it seemed there was no choice but to leave it be.

Still, she now had a clearer understanding of why Nan Xi had developed such an attitude toward relationships.

Though the family cared for one another and tried to support each other, their busy mother was domineering and made no effort to hide her controlling nature, their fragile father was dark and indifferent to his children’s independence and autonomy, the elder sister was still nursing her own heartbreak and indulging in self-destructive behavior, the brother was carefree and utterly lacking in common sense about the world, and the younger sister was obsessive and prone to extremes.

The problem likely hadn’t started five years ago with that person’s disappearance, it had always been embedded in the family’s DNA. That incident had simply been the trigger for the explosion.

Looking at it this way, if a future scenario unfolded where the siblings turned on each other, as often happened in novels, it wouldn’t be surprising.

…Well, the Nan family was probably still better off than those wealthy households that reliably produced two illegitimate children every year.

After all this time working for them, Mu Xi had finally pinpointed the root of the family’s issues. As a professional, all-around domestic worker, she ought to do her best to help them resolve these problems.

With a bitter, self-deprecating smile, Mu Xi thought to herself, as Nan Xi’s… lover, she was also part of the problem. If she wanted to fix things, wouldn’t she have to start with herself?

She arrived at the university parking lot about twenty minutes early.

Sitting in the car for a while, Mu Xi found the confined space stifling, so for the first time, she decided to step out and wait by the car for Nan Xi to finish work.

Something felt missing, perhaps a cigarette between her fingers.

But of course, a housekeeper wasn’t supposed to have a smoking habit.

Mu Xi waited. At the thirty-one-minute mark, she spotted two figures approaching in the distance, one was Nan Xi, and the other seemed to be some senior from her university.

A faint smile played on Nan Xi’s lips as she listened to Tong An’an whisper something in her ear, looking in good spirits.

She had a friend to walk with after work. Mu Xi was genuinely happy for her, and seeing her smile lifted some of the weight in her own heart.

Mu Xi straightened up, watching as the two slowly made their way toward her.

Tong An’an noticed her first, her expression turning mischievous. After whispering something to Nan Xi with a hand covering her lips, she quickly ran off, leaving Nan Xi standing alone, looking up to see Mu Xi leaning against the car.

She paused for a moment before continuing forward at a slow pace.

Today, Nan Xi wore a black cotton maxi dress that accentuated her graceful curves and soft demeanor. Mu Xi noticed she had a preference for deep, muted colors, something they had in common.

She wasn’t wearing makeup, but her face was beautiful enough without it. Nan Xi was carrying a small gift bag today, and if it was a present from someone else, Mu Xi would be even happier for her.

Someone who felt so tangibly close to her had once been driven to such despair that they contemplated suicide.

Mu Xi gazed at her, a mix of worry, bitterness, and relief swirling in her heart.

Nan Xi stopped about a meter away from her: “Why did you get out of the car to wait for me today?”

She quickly followed up: “And what’s with that expression on your face?”

Of course, she had noticed something was off right away.

Fortunately, Mu Xi had already prepared an excuse. She wiped her nose and said, “I made a mistake at work today and got scolded by Mr. Guan.”

Guan Yan had indeed “scolded her a few words”, so it wasn’t entirely unfair to pin this on him.

“Oh.” Nan Xi walked past her. “Well, let’s get in the car then?”

She opened the backseat door herself and got in, not waiting for Mu Xi to do it for her, a small gesture of consideration.

Mu Xi took a few deep breaths before getting into the car as well, but she lingered in the driver’s seat without starting the engine, her hands clasped as if lost in thought.

Nan Xi frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Miss, are you hungry?” Mu Xi suddenly asked instead of answering, glancing at her through the rearview mirror. “If you are, we could grab something to eat first.”

“……”

Nan Xi leaned back, staring intently at her through the mirror.

Her meal times were always fixed, and she usually had dinner right after getting home from work. In fact, the gift bag she was holding today contained bread given to her by a junior from her group, if she were really hungry, she would have eaten it already.

But Mu Xi was acting unusually today, even going so far as to suggest eating out. Nan Xi naturally took this as an invitation to dine together.

“Hmm…” Nan Xi turned to look out the window. “Alright, let’s eat then. Anything is fine.”

Should she find a way to discreetly toss that bag of bread?

Mu Xi exhaled quietly in relief and finally stepped on the accelerator, driving away from A University.

There were plenty of dining options near the campus, but Mu Xi drove a little further toward the city center, stopping at a high-end restaurant with few customers. She got out to open the door for Nan Xi.

Noticing the gift bag in Nan Xi’s hand, she said, “Miss, let me hold that for you.”

“No, it’s fine.” Nan Xi clutched the bag protectively. “There’s nothing important in it, I was just going to throw it away.”

But throwing away perfectly good bread didn’t sit right with her, especially since it was a gift from her junior.

So, Nan Xi casually handed it to a little girl playing with mud at the roadside, not bothering to listen to what the child said before walking away. She pulled Mu Xi into the restaurant.

The high-end restaurant offered excellent privacy, and Nan Xi even chose a secluded private room. Mu Xi followed her inside.

Then she stood beside Nan Xi, bending down to adjust the tableware in front of her to better suit her habits.

“……” Nan Xi looked up at her in exasperation. “Is this a professional habit of yours? Do you have to stand by and watch people eat?”

“Or are you planning to sit on the same side as me?”

She even scooted over considerately while reaching for the set of utensils on the opposite side, as if genuinely intending for Mu Xi to sit beside her.

Mu Xi swiftly intercepted the utensils, her face slightly flushed as she obediently took her seat across from Nan Xi and admitted her mistake: “I do have a bit of a professional habit…”

“I’m really afraid you’ll start competing with the waitstaff later, snatching plates from them to serve at the table.” Nan Xi gave her a sidelong glance. “I know you might be far more professional than the waiters, but don’t let me pay the service fee for nothing, okay?”

Mu Xi lowered her head even further. “My apologies, Miss.”

Nan Xi smirked coldly and tossed the menu at her. “Take a look. I’m treating you to dinner.”

Mu Xi hadn’t planned on eating, she could certainly afford the meal here, but she was genuinely afraid of Nan Xi mocking her again in that sarcastic tone. For once, she immediately accepted the menu and began carefully perusing it.

Nan Xi propped her chin on her hand, quietly waiting for her to finish choosing.

However, Nan Xi hadn’t expected her to be so thorough. From appetizers to desserts and even drinks, Mu Xi meticulously selected everything. If served all at once, it would easily cover the entire table, just for Mu Xi alone.

She was truly terrified of missing something and giving Nan Xi another opportunity to seize upon and ridicule her.

Nan Xi was momentarily stunned and, for once, forgot to say anything, silently letting the waiter note down their orders before leaving.

Having eaten so much, Mu Xi sat up straighter, mustering the courage to meet Nan Xi’s eyes directly. “How was your day today, Miss?”

She didn’t realize how much she sounded like she was flirting.

Nan Xi smiled. “Not bad. During the group meeting, Professor Yu proposed a new direction, very interesting, and I’m quite intrigued. My colleagues are all lovely people, and today, a junior even gave me… something.”

“Was it the paper bag you were holding earlier?”

“Yes, something practical. Unfortunately, I don’t quite like it.” Nan Xi picked up her water glass to take a sip, hiding her unease.

When people feel guilty, they tend to deflect with questions, seizing control of the conversation. “What about you, Butler Mu? Speaking of which, why the sudden concern for me?”

Mu Xi’s posture stiffened instantly.

“Today… I was reprimanded by the master. Otherwise, everything was fine. As for the concern… It’s my duty to care for the well-being of every family member at all times. Besides, Dr. Zhang also advised me to pay more attention to you, Miss.”

“Dr. Zhang? The psychologist?”

Nan Xi recalled the name, he was indeed the one who had conducted her counseling sessions.

He had told her that even lost relationships could be rebuilt, a sentiment Nan Xi quite liked, so she considered him a decent doctor.

“He contacted you?”

“Yes.” Mu Xi’s gaze sharpened gradually. “He’s also very concerned about your mental health and asked me to check in on your recent mood. Also, aside from physical check-ups, would you like regular psychological consultations? He’d be happy to provide them.”

Nan Xi burst into laughter as if hearing something absurd, then immediately declined. “No need. I’m not sick.”

“…Understood.” Mu Xi felt a pang of regret but wasn’t ready to give up. “Then, if you ever have any troubles, Miss, please don’t hesitate to contact Dr. Zhang. Or I’d be happy to help as well, I’ve studied some basic psychology.”

The curriculum at the domestic service university was quite comprehensive.

And very practical.

Just then, the waiter arrived with the first course of their dinner, the aroma quickly filling the air between them.

It was Nan Xi’s appetizer. As she cut into it, she asked with amused interest, “Oh? Butler Mu studies psychology too?”

The food on her plate looked absolutely delicious, making Mu Xi’s mouth water.

“I only have a basic understanding… If the young miss requires it, I can delve deeper into systematic study.” Mu Xi also began drinking water, and as she sipped, her first course arrived, finally giving her something to do.

The two ate quietly for a while.

Then Nan Xi continued, “So, if I feel completely weak and sore, unable to do anything but lie in bed, crying all day until eventually… the pain becomes so unbearable that I start thinking about dying, even attempting it, does Butler Mu know what this problem might be?”

With a clatter, the fork in Mu Xi’s hand fell onto the table.

She hadn’t expected her roundabout strategy to elicit such a direct response from Nan Xi. This was indeed something Mu Xi wanted to understand, but hearing such a calm narration from Nan Xi’s lips still…

Mu Xi tried her best to steady her trembling hands as she picked the fork back up from the table, pretending nothing had happened.

“Well, I’m afraid this might be a manifestation of depression…”

Nan Xi praised, “Butler Mu really has studied psychology, just like what those psychiatrists said.”

The waiter entered again, this time carrying the orange juice Nan Xi had ordered.

But Nan Xi wasn’t in a hurry to drink it. Instead, she lifted the delicate glass, examining it carefully, bringing it to her lips and inhaling its scent lightly.

From the vibrant, lively color of the liquid in the glass, Mu Xi guessed it must be a very sweet orange juice, the kind any orange lover would enjoy.

Yet she watched as Nan Xi, after sniffing for a moment, shook her head regretfully, took only a sip, then set the glass aside and turned back to her appetizer.

“But I told them, and now I’m telling you, you’re all wrong. I know very well that I don’t have depression, nor any illness at all.” Nan Xi’s tone was eerily calm, her voice firm. “It’s just a normal reaction to a loved one leaving. But you can’t call it heartbreak either, because we never broke up.”

She paused, then emphasized again under Mu Xi’s complicated gaze:

“Never.”