I Am Her Secret Beauty - Chapter 22

Mu Xi learned incredibly fast. By the time Nan Xi realized it, she had already regained the initiative, attempting to break free from the guidance of this “mentor” and explore her own new ideas.

This excited Nan Xi for a while, but she soon felt helpless.

If Mu Xi were allowed to continue like this, she would definitely end up hurt.

Especially since Mu Xi’s mind wasn’t entirely clear at the moment, and given her current state…

Reluctantly, Nan Xi had no choice but to tighten her embrace after another wave of trembling, separating their intimately entwined lips and trying to press Mu Xi’s head downward.

Mu Xi looked puzzled: “?”

“Enough, enough,” Nan Xi panted, her breath uneven, but she could only guide Mu Xi to the back of her neck. “Mark me.”

Mu Xi didn’t seem very willing, hesitating for a long time before finally, after much coaxing from Nan Xi, slowly sinking her teeth into Nan Xi’s scent gland to complete the mark.

No matter what Mu Xi thought, as far as Nan Xi was concerned, the mark was done, this time, it was over.

The gland Mu Xi had bitten felt warm and slightly sore, but Nan Xi was utterly satisfied. Lying beside Mu Xi, catching her breath, a contented smile lingered on her lips.

Soon, dawn would break.

Fortunately, Nan Xi had prepared in advance. Otherwise, if someone knocked on her door and found her missing, only to discover she had been tangled up with the butler, it would cause unnecessary trouble.

…They would inevitably face such troubles sooner or later, but… there was no need for it to be so soon.

Mu Xi fell asleep quickly. Since her rut had begun, she hadn’t gotten much rest, and the prolonged physical exertion had drained most of her energy. Now, she desperately needed sleep.

Nan Xi was even worse off. Her stamina had always been pitifully low, and by the end, she had been running on sheer willpower, even dozing off a few times in the middle…

For an omega to endure this much, the pleasure she received was well-deserved.

Nan Xi shifted lower, quickly burrowing into Mu Xi’s arms, wrapping herself around her waist and burying her face against Mu Xi’s chest to sleep.

Mu Xi hesitated for a moment before tentatively draping an arm lightly over Nan Xi’s waist, though she didn’t fully commit to the embrace.

Nan Xi, eyes closed, tugged Mu Xi’s arm firmly around herself and hugged her even tighter.

“Sleep,” she said.

And so, they slept.

…

When Mu Xi woke up, the bed beside her was mostly empty, with no one in sight.

All that remained for her were the crumpled sheets, the pitifully bunched-up blanket in the corner, and her own outstretched arms, now holding nothing but air.

…What?

Her head felt heavy and ached slightly as she sat up, staring blankly at the tangled blanket in the corner, replaying the memories she had temporarily set aside in her mind.

This wasn’t like blacking out from alcohol. During her rut, though her rationality had been compromised, her memory remained perfectly intact. In other words…

She remembered everything she and Nan Xi had done here.

…Honestly, she wished she could forget.

The wild scenes replayed vividly in her mind, every sound, every scent made her face burn. Mu Xi soon buried her head in the blanket, ostrich-like, trying to escape the reality right in front of her.

Yes, if her desires hadn’t been sated, how could she have woken up so lucidly?

Mu Xi lay face down for ten minutes before mustering the courage to stiffly lift her head from the blanket. Turning her gaze, she once again saw the high-potency inhibitor lying on the floor.

The pale blue liquid had long dried into the carpet, next to the shattered glass syringe.

It lay there quietly on the ground, having accompanied her through such a day, now seemingly mocking her uselessness.

…She had really slept with the young mistress, the very one she had resolved to keep her distance from.

Would a resignation letter help? No, hadn’t Nan Xi mentioned what happened to Nan Lian’s former lover? If the Nan family decided to blacklist her, there would likely be no place for her in the domestic service industry anywhere in the country. She did have some savings, could she flee abroad? But what then? Continue working as a housekeeper?

Was she being too optimistic? What if the Nan family didn’t even want to spare her life?

…She had permanently marked Nan Xi, didn’t that mean she had to take responsibility for her?

Should she just submit to her domineering will…?

Mu Xi was startled by her own thoughts.

Who would’ve thought that in just one day, she’d go from being an upright, principled person to… this? What kind of bewitching potion had Nan Xi fed her?

But when she recalled what Nan Xi had given her… perhaps calling it a bewitching potion wasn’t far off.

Speaking of which, that passionate, seductive little omega, whose lips had barely parted from hers, was that really Nan Xi?

It was just… so unlike her.

…Who else could it have been? Who else would have accepted her? Mu Xi, oh Mu Xi, had she really become so shameless just to evade responsibility?

Her spiraling thoughts were like wildly overgrown weeds, stuffing her brain into a suffocating pillow that only continued to swell.

She couldn’t keep thinking like this.

Mu Xi forced herself to stop. No matter what, it had already happened, avoidance and feigning ignorance were useless.

She had failed to resist temptation. She ought to take responsibility. First, she needed to talk things through with Nan Xi.

If the only outcome was leaving the Nan household, then that was the punishment she deserved.

With a heavy heart, Mu Xi took a shower, tidied up the room they had turned into a complete mess, and dressed properly.

She stepped out of her butler’s quarters. Just as Nan Xi had said, the place was empty, and she could only hear the sound of her own footsteps.

She searched the entire house but found no trace of Nan Xi.

Yet Mu Xi knew very well, given the state of things yesterday, Nan Xi couldn’t have gone far.

In the end, Mu Xi spotted Nan Xi in the greenhouse garden, her back turned as she sipped coffee.

Despite all the mental preparation and her resolve to take responsibility, when Mu Xi saw Nan Xi’s pallid complexion and the purplish marks peeking above her collar, her heart still lurched violently.

Stumbling slightly, Mu Xi paused to steady herself before continuing forward.

Throughout this short walk, she kept asking herself, was she insane?

A butler talking about taking responsibility for the young mistress… wasn’t that the definition of madness?

When Mu Xi was just three meters away, Nan Xi, who had been motionless, finally turned her head. She gave Mu Xi a faint glance before tilting her chin toward the seat opposite her.

“Sit.”

The reaction was like a bucket of cold water dumped over Mu Xi’s head. The stark contrast between then and now left her utterly bewildered.

She had no choice but to sit down across from Nan Xi.

Nan Xi held her coffee cup as she gazed at the flowers in the greenhouse. If one ignored the marks on her neck and collarbone, the scene before her was no different from that of a noble lady in a painting.

She didn’t look at Mu Xi, speaking as if to herself: “How’s your body doing?”

“Thank you for your concern, Young Miss. It’s… back to normal now.”

Nan Xi smiled faintly: “Then you really should thank me.”

“…”

Mu Xi watched her with slight unease, searching for any trace of discomfort or hesitation on her face.

But there was none. Nan Xi was utterly composed, as if what had felt like the end of the world to Mu Xi was nothing more than a feather’s weight to her.

As if it hadn’t even crossed her mind.

This realization unsettled Mu Xi, prompting her to speak up first:

“Young Miss, about what happened yesterday…”

Nan Xi parted her lips slightly, then closed them again without turning to look at her.

Seeing that she seemed to have something to say, Mu Xi immediately stopped: “Please, go ahead.”

Whatever Nan Xi wanted to say, whether it was scolding or affection, Mu Xi was prepared to accept it.

But it was neither.

Nan Xi said:

“Mm, I was just about to tell you. Until the usual end of your rut cycle, stay in your room.”

“If you recover too soon, everyone will know you’ve marked an omega. That wouldn’t be good for either of us.”

Her words pinned Mu Xi in place. She stared blankly at Nan Xi, unable to utter a single word.

This… wasn’t what she had expected.

Hearing no response, Nan Xi finally frowned and looked at her for the first time: “What?”

Her gaze was almost too dismissive.

A phrase flashed through Mu Xi’s mind: “Pull up your pants and pretend nothing happened.” Could it be that Nan Xi’s previous actions toward her… were just to get her into bed?

But since Mu Xi had come here, she was determined to say what she needed to say:

“Young Miss, what happened yesterday was my fault. If it caused you any pain, I sincerely apologize. If you want me to take responsibility in any way, I’m willing-”

Before she could finish, Nan Xi interrupted:

“Pain? I had a great time. Couldn’t you tell last night?”

She laughed, as if amused, and even patiently comforted the stunned Mu Xi, offering reassurance:

“Don’t shoulder all the blame. I know what I did, I did it willingly.”

“As long as we act like nothing happened afterward, then nothing did. You understand, right?”

Mu Xi understood.

Even though she was utterly bewildered, she grasped what Nan Xi was saying. She wanted to pretend the incident never occurred and continue living peacefully.

As for Mu Xi herself, she wasn’t part of Nan Xi’s future plans.

Was that it…?

“But, the permanent mark…”

“It doesn’t matter.” Nan Xi said lightly. “You should know, five years ago, I was permanently marked too. And yet, here I am, alive and well.”

Mu Xi was speechless.

She fled the greenhouse garden as if escaping for her life. She needed time to process and accept what Nan Xi had told her today.

She had no right to accuse Nan Xi of being a “heartless woman.” After all, from the outcome, her own rut had been greatly alleviated, while the one left with a permanent mark was Nan Xi…

Just as Nan Xi had demanded, Mu Xi locked himself back in his room, not to emerge for the next five days.

As the butler who had been intimate with the young lady, Mu Xi’s entire sense of duty was to obey Nan Xi’s commands, and then… continue being a proper butler.

Nan Xi tilted her head back and drained the last of the coffee from her cup.

The empty cup clinked sharply as she set it down on the table, the rich aroma of coffee still lingering in the air.

Seated in the greenhouse, Nan Xi quietly savored the fleeting pleasure of the coffee as it slid down her throat and through her esophagus.

But it wasn’t as satisfying as she’d hoped.

Her body still ached, of course. If not for the need to maintain her composure while speaking to Mu Xi, she should have been lying obediently in bed, waiting for an alpha to attend to her.

Unfortunately, Nan Xi didn’t have an alpha of her own. She could only force herself to endure the discomfort and sit here.

She had said all the things she’d planned to say to Mu Xi. Yet, Nan Xi didn’t feel the satisfaction she’d expected.

This wasn’t right. Seeing Mu Xi’s bewildered expression should have pleased her. Only by making him experience the same pain she once endured would he become unable to leave her, unwilling to leave her.

The plan had been her own design, but it hadn’t delivered the results she wanted.

…She had to make sure Mu Xi couldn’t live without her.

She had already lost once. This time, she would win.