I Am Her Secret Beauty - Chapter 11

Mu Xi understood Nan Xi’s meaning.

But what did she mean by “only one alpha”…?

Could Nan Xi’s unstable heat cycle be due to the influence of an alpha?

But how could she, an alpha, possibly…

Mu Xi finally realized that, as an alpha who resembled Nan Xi’s former lover, her impact on Nan Xi might be far greater than she had imagined.

Recalling the details of last night,

Nan Xi curled up in bed in pain, unable to suppress the pheromones leaking out uncontrollably…

“I understand, Miss,” Mu Xi said respectfully, bowing slightly and locking those images deep in her memory, refusing to let even a trace of them escape.

“Butler Mu, come sit beside me.” Nan Xi looked exhausted, her eyes closed and her voice weak, yet she pointed to the chair by the bed, demanding Mu Xi move closer.

Mu Xi hesitated and glanced at Vincent, who clearly wanted no part of the trouble. He merely nodded at Mu Xi before quickly retreating toward the door, closing it behind him to provide them with a secure, private space.

Once Vincent left, Mu Xi felt slightly more at ease.

Nan Xi remained motionless against the headboard, her face pale and frail, looking as pitiful as a stuffed doll with too little cotton. Last night’s unstable heat cycle had taken a heavy toll on her… and likely not just physically.

At this thought, Mu Xi tensed up again.

She stood rooted in place, doing her best to sound considerate and sincere, with no intention of offense: “Miss, I believe…”

“I just want you to sit beside me,” Nan Xi said in an unreadable tone. “Is that not allowed?”

Her voice was calm, but whether it was Mu Xi’s imagination or not, she couldn’t help but feel Nan Xi sounded aggrieved… aggrieved and…

Mu Xi would never allow herself to make her employer speak in such a tone, so she immediately sat down by Nan Xi’s bed.

But once seated, she still wanted to make her stance clear:

“Miss, I think we need to have a proper conversation. If I’m affecting your heat cycle or even your health then perhaps we should maintain some distance. The Nan family has many equally capable domestic staff…”

She knew saying this might increase the risk of losing her job. But letting things continue like this was no solution. Irregular and excessive use of suppressants could harm the normal heat cycle, especially since Nan Xi was already physically weak.

To her surprise, the pale-faced Nan Xi let out a bitter laugh, looking fragile and pitiful, like a bird with wings battered and broken by a storm, teetering on the edge of collapse.

She said:

“No, Mu Xi. It’s not because of you.”

Mu Xi.

It had been a long time since anyone had called her “Mu Xi,” so for a moment, her thoughts drifted away.

“Do you know what yesterday was?”

“August 19th…?” Mu Xi repeated, already certain she wouldn’t be able to guess the significance.

Nan Xi said, “Mm. It was the day she marked me.”

Mu Xi nearly jumped out of her chair.

Given that this “marking” was important enough for Nan Xi to note the date, it surely couldn’t have been a temporary one.

“Does… does Madam know about this?”

Being permanently marked was no trivial matter. Not only would Nan Xi be unable to accept the advances of any other alpha, but she would also need periodic re-marking from that very person.

But from Nan Xi’s words, it seemed that person had been gone for a long time. Did the mark on Nan Xi still remain…?

“Butler Mu, I’m sorry to bring this up. It’s my private matter, and it might disgust you.”

Nan Xi lowered her head, burying her hands under the blanket. “After five years, my mark has almost faded, but it’s still there… If you… if you don’t feel anything at all, then you really aren’t her. I won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable again.”

Mu Xi didn’t feel disgusted, but she did feel conflicted.

She felt immense sympathy for Nan Xi’s plight, yet at the same time, she was strangely relieved by what Nan Xi had just said.

Unable to help herself, Mu Xi leaned slightly forward, closing the distance between master and servant. “Thank you.”

“Hmm. You can report back to my mother now, too.”

Nan Xi said this as if it were nothing, her tone as casual as if she were discussing the morning’s breakfast menu, not dropping a bombshell right into Mu Xi’s heart.

Mu Xi was stunned. She had never mentioned her predicament to Nan Xi and was certain Nan Zhiya wouldn’t have brought it up either.

Seeing her surprise, Nan Xi gave a soft laugh. “You’re shocked? It’s simple. You’re a dutiful butler. Of course, after my medical check-up that day, you would report my condition to Mother. And of course, Mother would tell you to take extra care of me. Otherwise, why would you proactively invite me out? It’s not like you like me.”

“……” Mu Xi turned her gaze awkwardly toward the window. The mountain scenery outside was breathtaking, lush green under the bright summer sky. Perhaps this was the perfect moment to lay everything out in the open.

Silence settled between them, each lost in their own thoughts within the same space.

Their eyes no longer met, especially Nan Xi’s, which remained fixed on the wrinkled blanket before her, her mind drifting far, far away.

About thirty minutes later.

Mu Xi’s phone rang abruptly, and she stood up awkwardly to take the call outside. After a few hurried words, she returned with a grave expression that made Nan Xi’s heart sink.

As expected, the news Mu Xi brought was anything but good:

“Your great-grandmother, Madam Nan Youlin, has passed away,” Mu Xi announced quietly and swiftly. “The car to pick you up is on its way. I’m sorry, Young Miss. You’ll need to prepare.”

Nan Xi remained frozen on the bed for a long time, unmoving.

That was Nan Zhiya’s grandmother, who had been living in a nursing home since Nan Xi was still in middle school. She had grown accustomed to her great-grandmother’s frail but cheerful existence. Yet fate had brought this day upon them all the same.

Only when the tears at the corners of Nan Xi’s eyes had completely dried did she finally reply in a low voice, “I understand.” Then she pushed the blanket aside and got out of bed to pack, preparing to return to the Nan family home.

Having just experienced an abnormal heat cycle the night before, Mu Xi reached out worriedly to support her, but Nan Xi gently and tactfully declined.

“No need. Thank you.”

Nan Xi sounded utterly heartbroken, so Mu Xi didn’t press with unnecessary formalities. She quickly withdrew from the room and returned to her own to pack as well.

Though it was a sorrowful time, the reality was that this unforeseen incident would likely add a considerable workload.

Nominally, the funeral of Madam Nan Youlin would be presided over by Nan Zhiya, but given how busy he was, how could he possibly oversee every detail?

In the end, the responsibility would fall on the domestic staff of the Nan household, mostly on Mu Xi.

Mu Xi wore the same outfit every day: a white shirt paired with a black suit. Not only was this combination practical and stain-resistant, but it was also suitable for any occasion, even a funeral.

With a heavy heart, she pulled a fresh black suit jacket from the dark expanse of her wardrobe and changed into it. After packing her bag and bidding a brief farewell to Vincent, she waited downstairs for the Nan family’s driver.

When Nan Xi appeared, she too was dressed in black, her eyes rimmed with red.

Mu Xi wanted to step forward and offer some words of comfort, but the words she had overheard in Nan Xi’s room ten minutes earlier rooted her to the spot as if her legs were filled with lead.

The Nan family’s driver arrived quickly, and soon Mu Xi and Nan Xi left the summer estate, known for its vineyards and swarms of insects, returning to the Nan residence.

Inside the grand doors of the Nan household, everyone had already gathered, even Nan Lian, who had been away on business, and Guan Yan, who had been sketching in a nearby city, stood in the living room.

Upon seeing Nan Xi, the usually composed and assertive Nan Lian gave her a faint, strained smile in greeting.

Guan Yan, on the other hand, had cried his eyes red and was leaning against Nan Zhiya for support.

Once the entire family had assembled, Mu Xi drove them to the funeral home, where the staff from the nursing home had already delivered Nan Youlin’s remains.

Mu Xi remained outside while the Nan family went in to see her.

Soon, muffled sobs echoed from the cold, cramped room, first Guan Yan’s, then Nan Nan’s, followed by Nan Xi’s.

Each emerged looking more haggard than before, with Nan Xi, the most fragile among them, appearing especially broken. She seemed to have lost her spirit, leaning against her sister as she wept quietly, dried tear tracks streaking beneath her eyes.

Mu Xi thought Nan Lian ought to embrace her, but Nan Lian herself was grieving.

The nursing home staff had said Nan Youlin passed peacefully, without pain, a faint smile on her lips. She had told the nurse beside her that she hoped her family wouldn’t grieve… she had no regrets.

Upon hearing this, Nan Zhiya lowered his head and closed his eyes for a moment. When he looked up again, his expression had already regained its usual composure, and he began discussing cremation arrangements with the funeral staff.

Nan Lian, too, quickly steadied herself, stepping aside to call the lawyer and discuss the handling of Nan Youlin’s estate.

With Nan Lian gone, Nan Xi had no one to lean on. Her father, Guan Yan, was still clinging to Nan Nan in tears, so she half-slumped against the wall, lost in thought.

Mu Xi watched her for a long time.

She wrestled with herself internally, Nan Xi’s words at the estate kept replaying in her mind, making her hesitate to approach.

But even from a master-servant standpoint, offering comfort now was only appropriate, wasn’t it?

Mu Xi lowered her head and quickly moved closer to Nan Xi. “My condolences,” she murmured.

Before Nan Xi could respond, she immediately turned to Guan Yan, who was weeping uncontrollably, offering him comfort and guiding him to the restroom to wash his face.

When the two returned, Nan Xi was no longer leaning against the wall. Instead, she stood with her arms crossed, staring at the ground likely lost in memories of her great-grandmother.

She also came to her father’s side, softly offering a few words of comfort before exchanging a glance with Mu Xi. Taking the grieving father from Mu Xi’s hands, she gently led him outside to get some air and calm his mind.

Mu Xi watched their retreating figures with a dazed expression.

It wasn’t just now that she felt lost. Seeing the sorrow of the Nan family, witnessing the usually indomitable Nan Zhiya showing such vulnerability, it all left her bewildered.

Mu Xi had no family or ties, always alone, both before and after transmigrating into this book.

If she had to name those closest to her, it would probably be her employers… the Nan family.

Mu Xi thought that if something unfortunate happened to the Nan family, she would surely feel sorrow and shed tears. But that feeling would undoubtedly be different from the raw grief she saw in the Nan family now.

She was someone who lacked something. Compared to ordinary people, there was an incompleteness about her, she lacked the emotional triggers that moved others, remaining so calm and efficient that she resembled a tireless machine.

Was this good or bad? Could it be precisely because of this that she was so perfectly suited to be an all-seeing, all-managing butler?

Mu Xi didn’t know.