I, A Loyal Dog, Awaken to My Fate as Cannon Fodder - Chapter 8

At the beginning of December, City A was blanketed in heavy snowfall. A finger-thick layer of snow covered the ground, dressing the world in silver and white. With the Lunar New Year approaching, red and orange lanterns hung along both sides of the roads.

Cheng Wanqiu had fallen ill ever since returning from the amusement park. Back at the Cheng residence, she suffered from recurring fevers and a persistent cough. A week had passed since that day at the park; in normal times, it wouldn’t have mattered much, but university finals were no joke. Cheng Wanqiu did not want to become the subject of gossip for failing a class in her very first year.

Consequently, she was anxious—and the more anxious she became, the slower her recovery. To an outsider, it might have looked like she was faking it.

Only Shen Yinan knew the truth. Every night, she was jolted awake by her young mistress’s coughing. Cheng Wanqiu hadn’t slept well for a week, and neither had Shen Yinan.

Breaking the strict rules of the Cheng household regarding the separation of masters and servants, Shen Yinan had spent the entire week sleeping in Cheng Wanqiu’s room. She didn’t sleep in the bed; as a “dog” raised by the Cheng family, she was only permitted to sit in a chair by the bedside, propping her head up to doze off. Otherwise, she would have had to sleep on the hard, cold floor—losing even the dignity of a human being and living truly like a purebred hound.

Cheng Wanqiu had grown accustomed to Shen Yinan’s meticulous care. She saw Shen Yinan sitting in that chair for a week as perfectly normal because, from the moment she woke up, she always saw Shen Yinan there accompanying her.

Shen Yinan showed no signs of exhaustion, which further misled Cheng Wanqiu into believing this was normal—that anyone else would have stayed by her side just like Shen Yinan until her illness was completely gone.

At 2:00 AM, the heavy snow outside swirled against the glass window, condensing into white ice crystals. From the perspective of the lit room, the window looked as if it were draped in a white cloth. Strong winds battered the glass, and the swaying shadows of the trees looked like the clawing hands of ghosts.

Cheng Wanqiu woke up thirsty. The nightlight was on by her bed. Terrified by the hazy shadows outside, she let out a sharp scream and quickly pulled the quilt over her head.

“What’s wrong, Miss?” Shen Yinan was startled awake by the scream, nearly tumbling off the chair.

Cheng Wanqiu didn’t dare lift the covers. Her throat felt tight, and she sobbed, “Shen Yinan, there’s a ghost.”

Shen Yinan looked up at the window facing the bed. The way the shadows swayed was indeed ghostly. The dim nightlight gave the room an eerie, haunted atmosphere.

She rose from the chair and walked softly to the bedside, speaking in a gentle voice, “Miss, there are no ghosts. It’s just the shadows of the trees outside. I’ll close the curtains and it will be fine.”

As she spoke, she gently pulled back the quilt covering Cheng Wanqiu’s head.

A car accident ten years ago had shattered the courage of the once-boisterous child. Only eight years old at the time, Cheng Wanqiu had witnessed her parents die before her eyes. The sight of blood pooling on the ground was a nightmare she still frequently revisited.

Since then, she had been terrified of the dark, fearing that her dead parents would return as ghosts to find her. If she hadn’t insisted on her mother holding her in the car, her parents in the front seats wouldn’t have been distracted, leading to the collision with the heavy truck. The accident was her fault; she had killed her own parents.

Cheng Wanqiu’s hand trembled as she grabbed Shen Yinan’s sleeve, collapsing on the bed and sobbing uncontrollably.

“Shen Yinan… wuwu… ghosts… there are ghosts.”

“There are no ghosts, Miss. It’s just the shadows outside.”

Shen Yinan comforted her patiently. She didn’t get angry even though Cheng Wanqiu had grabbed her arm so suddenly and forcefully that it hurt. Her face showed no sign of pain; instead, to make it easier for Cheng Wanqiu to hold her, she crouched by the bed like an obedient dog, willingly offering her arm as a bolster.

“Shall I go get a glass of water for you, Miss?”

Actually, crouching felt alright; it was a brief moment of rest. Shen Yinan was only human, and she couldn’t truly handle sleeping in a chair for a week. At this moment, her body felt as if it were falling apart, aching all over.

She took every chance to rest and recover her strength. Taking care of Cheng Wanqiu required immense patience, and she didn’t dare utter a single complaint for fear that the young mistress would send her back to the “hell” of the Shen family.

She had forgotten that she was an adult now. She no longer needed the Cheng family to fund her education, nor was she the ten-year-old child who needed them for shelter and food.

With her face tear-stained, Cheng Wanqiu slowly released Shen Yinan’s arm and said hoarsely, “Close the curtains before you get the water.”

The first two buttons of her cotton pajamas had come undone, revealing the fair skin beneath. Shen Yinan moved her gaze away with stoic integrity, refusing to notice what she shouldn’t.

“Yes.”

Shen Yinan didn’t dare delay. After answering, she braced her hands on her knees and stood up through the pain. She knelt cautiously by the bed, avoiding touching Cheng Wanqiu. Bracing one hand on the far side of the mattress, she leaned over and gripped the edge of the curtain with two fingers. With a shua sound, she pulled them shut.

She finished the task quickly.

The warmth of the young mistress still lingered on the bed. That warmth sharpened Shen Yinan’s mind, and her brain involuntarily replayed the glimpse of skin she had seen when the girl was holding her arm.

The pale skin beneath the open pajamas was tinged with pink; a single glance was enough to inspire endless imagination.

Using the excuse of getting water, Shen Yinan fled the room. Even though they were both female, she found herself feeling a strange interest in Cheng Wanqiu’s body.

She stirred some brown sugar into hot water until it dissolved. Carrying the glass back to the bedside, she whispered, “Miss, the water is here.”

Cheng Wanqiu, half-awake and her cheeks flushed with a sickly red, was coughing incessantly.

She forced one eye open and said between coughs, “Feed me.”

Shen Yinan looked up sharply, staring at her young mistress in a daze. Her mind flashed to a scenario of taking a sip and feeding her through a kiss.

But then she realized that wasn’t right. The mistress was sick and had no energy to play games with her. She was truly distracted by that glimpse of white skin earlier.

Setting the water on the nightstand, Shen Yinan took Cheng Wanqiu’s hand and expertly sat behind her, letting the girl lean against her body.

The loose pajamas shifted inappropriately, sliding off Cheng Wanqiu’s shoulder and leaving it half-exposed. Shen Yinan stared blankly for a long moment, internal conflict raging.

This was a difficult dilemma for the taciturn Shen Yinan. Should she pull the pajamas back up, or act as if she hadn’t seen anything?

For someone as socially awkward as her, if she suddenly pulled the clothes up and was questioned about it, how would she explain?

Ultimately, she decided that playing the ostrich was the best choice—pretend not to see and just do what needed to be done.

“Miss, I added brown sugar. It’s a bit hot, so drink slowly.”

Cheng Wanqiu was too ill to notice her pajamas had slipped. She leaned weakly into Shen Yinan’s embrace, her mouth opening slightly. Shen Yinan fed her from the light blue mug.

The glass was soon empty. As Shen Yinan moved to leave, Cheng Wanqiu tugged her sleeve. “Stay with me a little longer.”

Shen Yinan’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest. This meant she had to stay in this position, sitting at the head of the bed, staring at that exposed shoulder.

The ostrich was backed into a corner.

Shen Yinan replied awkwardly, “Okay.”

The air conditioner wasn’t set very high. It was fine under the covers, but for Cheng Wanqiu, who was dressed thinly and had half a shoulder exposed, she would catch a chill if left like that for long.

The room was silent, save for Cheng Wanqiu’s occasional coughing. Shen Yinan didn’t dare breathe loudly, her eyes fixed on that pale shoulder.

Truthfully, she wanted to pull the fabric back up. It was a struggle within her after being pushed to her limit.

Her fingers twitched slightly. From an observer’s perspective, it was clear she was counting “one, two, three” in her head. No one else was as cowardly as she was.

“Miss…” Her hand moved swiftly to pull the pajamas up. “Your clothes slipped.”

With ears turning bright red and her heart hammering against her ribs, no one knew that Shen Yinan had rehearsed this action in her mind ten times before finally doing it.

Cheng Wanqiu opened her heavy eyelids and looked at the pajamas that had been pulled back up, covering her cold shoulder. She didn’t think much of it.

“Thank you, Shen Yinan.”

She still maintained her basic manners.

Shen Yinan froze for a few seconds, letting out a sigh of relief as if a great weight had been lifted. She remained as refined and quiet as ever, her mouth opening as if to speak, then closing without saying a word.

Cheng Wanqiu knew this was just Shen Yinan’s personality. If it were any other servant in the Cheng house, they would have been overflowing with gratitude after being thanked by their master.

Gradually, she fell asleep in Shen Yinan’s arms. The refreshing scent of cedarwood enveloped her, and she fell into a deep, baby-like slumber. She didn’t even realize when her hand had grabbed hold of Shen Yinan’s clothes.

Listening to the steady breathing, Shen Yinan looked down. She didn’t know when this long night would finally end.

…

Shen Yinan woke up to a burst of piercing sunlight. She was back in the chair. The sky was bright, and Cheng Wanqiu, who had slept soundly all night, looked full of energy. She had pulled the curtains open. The snow from the night before had finally stopped, and the sun was out.

“Miss…” Shen Yinan called out softly.

Cheng Wanqiu turned around and smiled at her. “Shen Yinan, my cold is gone!”

A week of being sick had left her lips pale and bloodless, yet her face was still breathtakingly beautiful.

Shen Yinan was dazed for a moment. Coming back to her senses, she quickly agreed, “It’s good that you’re better. You’ve missed so many classes this week.”

Hearing this, Cheng Wanqiu’s mood instantly soured. She slumped down. “Ugh, why do we still have to take exams in university? Wuwu.”

She pouted. “Shen Yinan, you have to save me.”

“I’ll do my best…” Shen Yinan said modestly. Meeting those candid, innocent eyes, she quickly looked away.

Do her best? Cheng Wanqiu wouldn’t accept that.

She crawled from her side of the bed toward where Shen Yinan was sitting.

“Ah, Miss…” Shen Yinan’s lips twitched.

She watched as her mistress, having just recovered, stepped onto the floor with bare feet.

“Shen Yinan, I don’t care.”

Like a koala, the mistress forced her back into the chair, clingily wrapping her arms around her neck and sitting astride her lap.

“You’ll save me, won’t you, Shen Yinan?”

Shen Yinan nodded expressionlessly.

Clearly, this could have been discussed normally, but Cheng Wanqiu insisted on this misleading display. It was hard not to believe she was teasing Shen Yinan on purpose.

Shen Yinan gave Cheng Wanqiu’s shoulder a gentle push, her voice calm and steady. “Miss, you’re playing with me again.”

Caught. Cheng Wanqiu made a bored face and got up from Shen Yinan’s lap. Admitting defeat, she spun around and flopped onto the large bed, lying spread-eagled.

In a place where she couldn’t see, Shen Yinan stole a small smile.