How To Trick a Fool Into a Relationship? - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Yu Dashan held up a second finger. “Guess again—why would a high-achieving student with a 690 be working in a place like this?”

Without giving Xu Yanghe a chance to answer, Yu Dashan provided it himself. “Because he’s a scholarship student, dirt poor. I heard he’s buried in debt. Even with tutoring, catering, and a full schedule of various part-time jobs, it’s not enough. He has to come to a place as chaotic as this. People like him have seen it all—they know the world is a dirty place—yet he somehow still has the heart of an innocent little white flower. He’s the easiest type to pick up; all you have to do is spend money on him.”

Extending a third finger, Yu Dashan pushed open the booth door, which faced the external staircase leading to the second floor of the bar. Xie Chun was standing there on standby, waiting for orders from his walkie-talkie to head to a specific section.

“Is he good-looking? Is he pure?” Yu Dashan asked.

Xu Yanghe’s gaze was effectively trapped.

Yu Dashan circled back to Xu Yanghe’s side, coaxing him. “With someone this suitable, if you don’t intercept him, Zhou Lan is going to make a move. If you wait until then to play the ‘relationship-breaker’ role, you’ll never be able to have anything with him again in this lifetime.”

At this moment, Xu Yanghe’s mind was a total blank.

“Whether you want to date or not, you have to try it to know. Why not just give it a shot?” Yu Dashan said. “How about a three-month fling? Your birthday is in May. If you can’t shake him off by then, bring him to us. We have plenty of ways to help you break up. No loss involved.”

Xu Yanghe: “…”

“What do you say?” Yu Dashan looked casual, his expression suggestive. “Shall we call him in and see?”

Xie Chun’s walkie-talkie lit up. It was the floor manager’s voice: “Xie Chun, come to the wine cellar. The boss in Booth 4B requested your drink menu.”

Xie Chun: ?

“Copy that.”

Inside the booth, Yu Dashan arched an eyebrow and teased Xu Yanghe. “Not bad. I thought you were so ‘pure,’ but you actually know about these kinds of ‘unspoken rules’?”

“…” Xu Yanghe said, “It was written on the menu.”

The last few pages of the Bluesea menu featured several flamboyant drink names. Ordering them was essentially a way to “order” a specific person. If a customer ordered from a server’s specific commission menu, that server had to come to the customer to offer their thanks.

A small print at the bottom of the page explained the policy.

Yu Dashan squinted to read it and clicked his tongue. “Why is it written so clearly? Does that mean we can still pressure them to drink?”

Xu Yanghe snapped, “Put away those filthy thoughts! This is China; there isn’t any of that ‘naughty’ stuff here!”

“No way.” Yu Dashan pointed at Xie Chun, who was approaching from a distance, and blustered, “You think he’s ‘clean’? Look at the way he’s dressed—how could he be?”

He really was “clean.”

Xie Chun placed the drinks ordered by the “bosses” on the table one by one, his tone gentle. “Thank you, gentlemen, for your patronage. I will be handling the ‘Sunset Nile,’ the ‘Mespelbrunn 993,’ and the ‘Blue Ice’ you ordered. I receive a twenty percent commission. I am Xie Chun, Server No. 17 at Bluesea. This bottle of Mespelbrunn 993 requires fifteen minutes of decanting to reach its peak flavor. Would you like me to decant it for you now?”

Xu Yanghe gave a light cough. “Go ahead.”

“Yes, sir.” Xie Chun began to work busily.

Xu Yanghe: …

He didn’t know what Yu Dashan was thinking, but he personally had never experienced this kind of… consumption.

The booth soon fell into a silence so profound you could hear a pin drop.

As the silence stretched on, Xu Yanghe actually found himself missing Yu Dashan’s constant yapping.

Say something, Yu Dashan.

Xu Yanghe looked at Yu Dashan; Yu Dashan looked back at him.

The decanter sat quietly on the table, and Xie Chun stood quietly by the table with his hands clasped.

Another five minutes passed like this…

Say something, decanter.

Xie Chun said softly, “Bluesea keeps records of every table’s service, and our staff has signed non-disclosure agreements. If you gentlemen need to discuss business, please don’t mind me, or I can step outside.”

“No, don’t leave.” Hearing that Xie Chun was going to go, Yu Dashan sounded slightly urgent.

Say something, Xu Yanghe.

Xu Yanghe: …

Glancing at his friend and then at Xie Chun, Xu Yanghe curled his hand into a fist against his lips and let out a dry cough. “Uh, Mr. Yu… about that plot of land in You-shan-nan…”

Yu Dashan nearly smacked him. “Are you a lunatic?!”

…

After sleeping until God-knows-when, the alarm wouldn’t stop ringing.

Xu Yanghe picked up.

It wasn’t an alarm; it was Zhou Lan.

“You have fifteen minutes to get to Room 6103 for the ‘Principles of Maoism’ final exam.” Thwack. Zhou Lan hit his phone with the textbook and hung up.

Xu Yanghe: “Oh.”

The events at Bluesea last night felt like a nightmare that had been completely forgotten.

Xu Yanghe reached the exam hall just in time. He found his seat and sat down, only then noticing that the desk in front of him was still empty.

Just then, someone else rushed through the door.

Wearing a rather thin white sweater, Xie Chun glanced at Xu Yanghe before taking his seat.

Xu Yanghe didn’t move.

Thinking about it, he had signed up for all his elective classes this semester with Zhou Lan. It was obvious who Zhou Lan was following. Xu Yanghe’s truancy rate was about fifty percent; it was perfectly normal that he hadn’t noticed someone like Xie Chun in a hundred-person lecture hall.

While Xu Yanghe’s mind was wandering, Xie Chun took off his sweater. Underneath was an equally dazzling white shirt, only much thinner—he was likely being this bold only because the exam hall was air-conditioned.

His hair really was a bit long; it covered his neck.

Xu Yanghe thought: He could probably tie that up.

The exam was two hours long. Xu Yanghe read through all the questions first; estimating it would take less than half an hour to finish, he felt a bit sleepy.

The rustling sound of pens writing all around him was quite the lullaby…

“There is an hour and a half left. Those who wish to submit their papers may do so now.”

Xu Yanghe woke up, his right hand numb.

Xie Chun submitted his paper and quickly returned to pack his things. As he turned around, Xu Yanghe noticed two glaring ink spots on his snow-white shirt.

Xu Yanghe looked down and saw his own pen tip, which was leaking ink.

And it was carbon ink.

Before Xu Yanghe could react, Xie Chun had already left, leaving Xu Yanghe with nothing but a blank exam paper on his desk.

He didn’t even get a chance to apologize.

…

After the exam, Xu Yanghe was dragged away by Zhou Lan. “Hurry, let’s go eat…”

Zhou Lan elbowed him.

“Seafood fried rice. We have to go early; if we’re late, there will be a long line.”

It wasn’t surprising that Zhou Lan was obsessed with it; this seafood fried rice place was indeed one of the most popular spots on the back street. It was located at the very end of the first floor. When they arrived, four or five people were already in line.

Xu Yanghe followed Zhou Lan to pick out the seafood, then took a plate to join the end of the queue.

Just then, a staff member came out and added a tray of squid rings. They were very fresh and seemed to still be twitching.

Xu Yanghe leaned over and asked the boss, who was busy tossing a wok, “Can I get a scoop of those?”

The boss said, “Get it yourself.”

By the time Xu Yanghe returned, the line had tripled in size. Over a dozen people wound around the small shop and spilled out onto the street.

Xu Yanghe went to find Zhou Lan.

Zhou Lan snapped, “Beat it! Who are you? Are you trying to cut the line?”

“Lunatic…” Xu Yanghe rolled his eyes and went to the back of the line.

The sun had come out, and it was quite warm.

A small patch of iridescent light flickered on the ground, shaking with the rhythm of the boss’s wok-tossing. Xu Yanghe stared at it.

His gaze followed the light upward. Above the frame of the fried rice shop’s entrance was a protruding piece of tea-colored glass. The color was beautiful, like edible sugar glass.

Suddenly, a human hand reached out and pushed the glass from above.

Xu Yanghe frowned slightly, stepped further out, and looked up.

It turned out the second floor above the seafood fried rice place was a clay-pot rice noodle shop—business there was even better than downstairs. Directly above the fried rice shop’s storefront was their kitchen window. There were four or five stove stations. The people in aprons staring at the clay pots were all young faces—likely students working part-time. Among them was Xie Chun.

So that’s how it is.

When Xie Chun stirred the clay pots with a large iron ladle, his face was expressionless, almost like a robot. A scoop of broth, add ingredients, stir, add rice noodles, stir, cover to simmer, open to sprinkle green onions, lift the pot, and start over. Every movement was fueled by muscle memory.

A little clockwork train.

Suddenly, Xie Chun flinched and froze for a few seconds.

Xu Yanghe saw it clearly: the back of Xie Chun’s left hand had grazed the clay pot. A patch of skin turned red instantly.

Xie Chun endured it, his lips trembling uncontrollably, and his eyes quickly grew moist.

Xu Yanghe thought there would be some commotion upstairs—a staff member was burned; at the very least, they should find someone to take him to a doctor or perform emergency treatment.

But there was nothing.

In that silence, Xie Chun started another pot.

Likely no one knew he had been burned except for Xu Yanghe and himself.

Xu Yanghe watched for a few minutes, feeling no particular emotion, and then lined up to enter the shop.

On the way home after eating, Xu Yanghe detoured into a pharmacy and bought a box of burn ointment.

Zhou Lan didn’t understand. “What are you buying that for?”

“Basic supplies. Just keep it on hand,” Xu Yanghe said, tearing open the box and tossing the ointment into his coat pocket. His eyes flickered. “Better safe than sorry. That business with hitting Sun Bin isn’t over yet; there’s no telling how my dad will deal with me.”

Ignoring Xu Yanghe’s nonsense, Zhou Lan asked, “He’s not going to set you on fire, is he?”

“There’s no telling,” Xu Yanghe said.

…

It was the middle of the night when he received the call from Xu Jin. Xu Yanghe had just stepped into Bluesea.

Xu Jin was very brief: “Come home. Now.”

Xu Yanghe took a deep breath. Here comes the fire.

Xu Yanghe rushed back to the Xu residence as fast as he could. Parking the car, he saw the four-story mansion was brightly lit; even the landscape lights in the garden were on. He felt a slight chill.

The front door was, as usual, not tightly shut. The butler was leading several servants in weeding the garden. No sound came from the main hall.

He pushed the door open. The polished floor tiles reflected countless points of light, which were quite jarring.

Everyone was there, sitting by the sofa. Xu Jin sat very upright, as did their father, Xu Qian. Tang Xiuxiu was on one side, holding her breath as she poured tea.

“A-Jin, try this tea; it’s not from the south,” Xu Qian said to Xu Jin. “When I was in the capital this time, I met your Uncle Qin. He said it’s some foreign variety.”

“Mm,” Xu Jin nodded reservedly.

Tang Xiuxiu smiled. “The fragrance is very unique. I’ve never smelled anything like it in a teahouse before.”

Xu Qian let out a couple of laughs. “When it comes to tea, we are amateurs compared to you.”

Tang Xiuxiu gave him a flirtatious glare.

Xu Yanghe stood by the door, silently taking off his overcoat but not hanging it on the rack. He tried his best to remain calm. “Dad.”

No one acknowledged him.

“A-Jin, try some.” Xu Qian ordered Tang Xiuxiu to hand the tea to him.

Xu Jin took a sip of the scalding tea and smiled without speaking.

Xu Qian spoke again: “I just got back to Haicheng. How is everything going over at Youshan?”

“I heard the airport construction is being rushed; it should be finished within half a year. After that, there are the Civil Aviation Administration’s surveys and tests,” Xu Jin said. “However, our hotel will be finished soon. The Sun family mentioned that we should…”

Xu Yanghe waited, but it didn’t look like any of this involved him. “Then I’ll head up first…”

CRASH.

Xu Yanghe only felt a flash of white light before his eyes. His hearing was instantly filled with a ringing sound. The top of his head felt scorching hot, then quickly turned icy cold.

His father had thrown a teacup at him.