How To Trick a Fool Into a Relationship? - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

2.

When Xu Yanghe opened his eyes, he was in a hospital.

It was a private suite with spotless white walls, a white bed, and soft, bright overhead lights. The west-facing curtains were tightly drawn, and sitting by the bed was a dark-faced Xu Jin (his older brother).

“What are you doing here?” Having just woken up, Xu Yanghe spoke without thinking.

Xu Jin looked at him, the fury in his eyes igniting instantly. “Guilty conscience? So you do know you’ve been acting like a fool and causing trouble, and you’re expecting a lecture!”

“That’s not what I meant,” Xu Yanghe pressed his forehead, reflecting on the fact that while his body was awake, his brain hadn’t quite caught up. “Really, Brother…”

However, Xu Jin had already opened the floodgates. “Idiot! How did I end up with such a stupid brother? Did I not show you the mortality rates for racing two years ago? Does nothing sink into that head of yours? All you do is play all day long—of all the things to play with, you play with your life!”

Xu Yanghe spread himself flat on the bed. “There’s actually more to it this time. It wasn’t just an accident.”

Xu Jin snapped, “Right, Sun Bin provoked you first. So if he baits you, you just fall for it? If he teases you, you just ram into him? Since when did you become so obedient? If he told you to stab yourself with a knife, would you do that too? You weren’t the instigator, you were set up—and you’re actually proud of it? Do you have a brain at all? Do you lack the basic human instinct to seek gain and avoid harm?”

Xu Yanghe closed his eyes. “I’m still very dizzy and my head hurts. Do I have any external injuries?”

“Dizzy my ass! It’s just a concussion,” Xu Jin stood up and strode over to pull open the curtains. Outside, the sun was setting, casting a bleak twilight glow. “I let you sleep for fourteen hours; I think you were just exhausted from staying up all night! Sun Bin is the one who’s actually hurt; he’s still unconscious.”

Xu Yanghe let out a sigh. “Then I guess he’s just better at sleeping than me.”

Xu Jin’s temples throbbed with rage, his trigeminal nerve screaming in pain. He sat back down in the companion chair and let out a long, frustrated exhale.

Xu Yanghe also relaxed. Finally, the lecture had been interrupted.

Xu Jin pulled out a card and flicked it onto him. “I already sold that car of yours. Don’t play with those things ever again.”

“How much did it sell for?” Xu Yanghe caught the card, frowning slightly.

“Two million.”

Xu Yanghe’s voice jumped an octave. “Two million?!”

Xu Jin lifted an eyelid. “Half price. You got a problem? Buying a car that’s been in a wreck—people think it’s bad luck. Not just this one; if you dare buy another, I’ll sell every single one at half price until the two of us have squandered the entire Xu family fortune.”

…

Xu Jin stepped out to tell a passing nurse that the patient was awake.

A moment later, while the doctor was performing the check-up, Xu Jin spoke in a grave, earnest tone. “Are you unaware of the Mount You Hotel project?”

“I know it. I heard you and Dad talking about it last New Year,” Xu Yanghe said.

Xu Jin looked out the window. “If you don’t know the details, let me tell you.”

Xu Yanghe: “Brother?”

“When news first broke about the construction of the new airport and the development of the new district, we started preparing our bid, but we were far behind the established conglomerates. Dad wasn’t in the country at the time, and I only managed to secure one project under the branch company’s name—and it wasn’t the hotel. The ROI on that project was too low. Initially, Dad and I decided not to invest heavily in the new district. Then the Sun family approached us. They wanted to trade half of their share in the Mount You Hotel for our project. It was a heavy olive branch. To make the exchange fair, we transferred our project to them.” Xu Jin looked at Xu Yanghe. “Do you know what that original project is now?”

Xu Yanghe coughed lightly. “I know.”

“You just wait, Xu Yanghe,” Xu Jin said slowly. “If this blunder affects the hotel project or if someone snitches to Dad, you’re finished.”

…

The Xu family was a fragmented bunch; everyone lived their own lives. To confirm if he was indeed “finished,” Xu Jin insisted on taking Xu Yanghe back to the old family mansion as soon as the hospital checks were done.

By the time they arrived, night had fallen. As soon as they stepped into the courtyard, Xu Yanghe knew his father wasn’t home.

The main hall door was ajar, light spilling through the crack, accompanied by a cacophony of noise.

Xu Yanghe followed Xu Jin inside. There were only three people in the hall.

Tang Xiuxiu was sprawling on the sofa, doing her makeup while watching a variety show and chatting/laughing with her girlfriend.

The woman leaning against the display cabinet looked about thirty percent like Tang Xiuxiu. Over the last few times Xu Yanghe had returned home, if Tang Xiuxiu was there, this woman was usually there too. He suspected she was more familiar with the Xu mansion than he was. Tang Xiuxiu called her “yiyi”—Xu Yanghe never understood if that meant “Auntie” or if it was just a name.

Tang Xiuxiu’s daughter, Xu Sining, wasn’t even a year old yet; she was lying on the other end of the sofa playing by herself.

Seeing the two return, Tang Xiuxiu sat up a bit straighter. “A-Jin and A-Yang are back?”

“Yeah,” Xu Jin nodded, looking around. “Auntie Tang, where’s my dad?”

Xu Yanghe rolled his eyes internally behind him.

The “Auntie” scrutinized the two brothers with her eyes. Xu Yanghe stared back.

Tang Xiuxiu gave a stiff smile. “He’s not here. He said he has a lot of business trips this month.”

Xu Jin glanced back at Xu Yanghe—the look meant: You’re safe.

“I’m going upstairs then.” Without a second of hesitation, Xu Yanghe circled around the sofa and headed straight for the stairs.

Xu Jin sighed and went to play with Xu Sining. The baby babbled and reached out for him to hold her.

As the biological mother, Tang Xiuxiu finally looked nervous and jumped off the sofa. “Um, she’s been quite energetic lately…”

“It’s fine,” Xu Jin had already picked the child up, taking a few kicks to his clothes. “Can you call me Big Brother yet?”

Xu Sining pulled her finger out of her mouth, pointed at Xu Jin, and made a “Ga?” sound, then pointed at Xu Yanghe further back. “Ga?”

Xu Yanghe immediately took a wide path around them, like someone encountering a large unleashed dog on the street, and dashed up the stairs in three steps.

The “Auntie” squeezed a sneer out of her throat, accompanied by a vivid expression. Perhaps she hadn’t realized how loud she was; the sound almost echoed through the house. Tang Xiuxiu closed her eyes in embarrassment, clutching her clothes tight.

Xu Yanghe didn’t react; he had already slipped into his room. Downstairs, for some reason, Xu Sining suddenly burst into loud crying.

Listening to the distant wails, Xu Yanghe double-locked his door. Good thing I ran fast.

He flopped onto the bed and immediately called Zhou Lan. The brat didn’t pick up.

He sent a text: [Did you snitch to my brother again?]

[Zhou Lan (Auto-Reply): In seclusion, preparing for finals week. Library 4th floor, Study Room #2 ing.]

“Psycho.”

…

Xu Yanghe slept poorly that night. Downstairs, Tang Xiuxiu played until the middle of the night before seeing her “Auntie” off, and Xu Sining started crying again in the early hours.

Knowing his father had no chance of returning to Haicheng soon, Xu Yanghe took advantage of Xu Jin’s loosened guard the next morning and bolted.

It wasn’t until after noon that he reached Zhou Lan. As soon as the call connected, the roar of a crowd flooded in from Zhou Lan’s side.

Xu Yanghe: “Where are you? Why is it so loud?”

Zhou Lan: “Backstreet. Waiting for my seafood fried rice.”

The K University Backstreet was a straight road adjacent to the south gate. It was one of the students’ favorite food streets. On the left were rows of buildings, three or four stories high, filled with shops serving delicacies from all over the country. On the right was a long graffiti wall, behind which was a patch of unmanaged wilderness where thorns, vines, and weeds grew wild—a popular spot for social media photos.

Near the wall, faint voices drifted out from the shadows.

“Didn’t we agree on the middle of every month, the 15th? Today is only the 12th.”

Two burly debt collectors with rough voices raised iron bars.

Xie Chun quickly shielded his head with both hands. “Wait, wait, wait! Don’t hit me!”

One man shoved his locked phone screen in front of Xie Chun’s face. “College student, look at what month it is.”

Xie Chun squinted slowly, gauging the man’s expression. “February.”

Debt Collector: “How many days are in it?”

Xie Chun adjusted his glasses. “Twenty-eight.”

The collector gestured rudely at Xie Chun’s cowardly posture. “I heard you’re a math major. February has two or three days fewer than a normal month. What’s wrong with us taking the money two or three days early?”

Xie Chun looked up with a miserable face and sighed, “You can’t calculate it like that…”

The iron bar was raised again, and he buried his head back into his arms.

The two men pressured the huddling Xie Chun.

“You better be smart and hand over the money so we can all have a peaceful New Year.”

“If you don’t give it now, our boss won’t be happy with us, and we’ll just take it out on you later. We might even have to spend the New Year’s holiday with you. By then, we won’t be this polite!”

Xie Chun lowered his eyes and whispered, “But I get my paycheck in the middle of the month. I don’t have that much money right now.”

Collector: “Just say it—do you have any money on you right now?”

Xie Chun’s pupils shook, his lips trembling. “…………Yes.”

In front of the graffiti wall, three or four boys walked past with ice cream. Behind the wall came the muffled sound of a punch.

…

“Seafood fried rice? You actually eat that?” Xu Yanghe asked over the phone in surprise.

“This place is famous,” Zhou Lan said. “I’m still in line.”

“Save some room in your stomach then,” Xu Yanghe said. “I’ve organized a gathering this evening to celebrate your birthday.”

Zhou Lan sighed. “I’m begging you—at most call Yu Dashan. Don’t bring so many people.”

“We’re all friends…” Xu Yanghe said, then suddenly remembered. “Also, I haven’t settled the score with you for snitching to Xu Jin! You’re so cold-blooded—how could you just report me like that? Do you know how much he scolded me at the hospital? Right in front of the doctor! The doctor was struggling not to laugh, and the nurse at the door almost thought he was going to beat me!”

Zhou Lan didn’t feel a shred of guilt; the more he heard, the more amused he became. “You deserved it. Your brother needed to put you in your place. Do you even know who was in that crowd last night? You’ve met them a few times and you’re already calling them brothers.”

“Who? The international students who just came back with Yu Dashan?”

“Just came back my ass. They all came back for Christmas and have been dragging their feet to avoid going back to school. It’s almost New Year!” Zhou Lan said.

…

Xie Chun emerged from somewhere, his hands covered in dirt, a faint smudge of wall dust on his face, and a few dry blades of grass stuck in his naturally curly hair. His backpack looked completely empty.

The boys eating ice cream by the wall were from the Science Department; they all knew Xie Chun.

“Hey, Xie Chun.”

Xie Chun looked over listlessly. “Hi, Lin He.”

The group laughed together. The boy named Lin He suddenly said, “Xie Chun, you’re going to be late! Run!”

Xie Chun pursed his lips helplessly. “There are twenty-five minutes before class starts. I won’t be late.”

Lin He feigned shock. “Didn’t you know? This Ordinary Differential Equations class changed rooms. It’s moved to Teaching Building 4. Classes there start fifteen minutes early. Can you make it?”

Xie Chun’s eyes widened. Building 4 was the farthest teaching building from the backstreet. He tightened his backpack straps and started sprinting.

The group burst into boisterous laughter. Zhou Lan also began to smile into his phone.

“Just tell me who you’re annoyed with, I definitely won’t tell—” Zhou Lan started to say, then tapped the volume key.

A girl from the same major couldn’t watch anymore and yelled, “Xie Chun, he’s lying to you!”

Zhou Lan reached out an arm and caught the backpack strap of Xie Chun, who was about to “take off.”

Xie Chun blinked, stunned. “Huh?”

“There are some people… if you want to invite Yu Dashan, it’s impossible to bypass them. If I don’t invite them, Dashan will. Should I invite those two girls from the skiing trip? Should I invite your classmates and roommates? We have to invite Mu Heng, right…” Xu Yanghe gradually realized something was off. “Zhou Lan?”

Zhou Lan said, “Hi, Xie Chun.”

Xie Chun replied, “Hi, Zhou Lan.”

The girl from behind caught up too. “Hi, Zhou Lan.”

Zhou Lan: “Hi, Yu Qin.”

Xie Chun: “Hi, Yu Qin.”

Yu Qin: “…”

Xu Yanghe: “?”

He turned his volume to the maximum and pressed the phone against his ear, but he still couldn’t hear what Zhou Lan was “Hi-ing” about.

Zhou Lan announced, “Today is my birthday.”

Xie Chun and Yu Qin took turns wishing him a happy birthday.

“There’s a party tonight. Are you guys coming?” Zhou Lan asked.

Yu Qin said, “Not me, I’m still reviewing.”

Zhou Lan looked at Xie Chun. “Are you coming? Mu Heng will be there too.”

Xie Chun said, “I have work.”

“What are you laughing at? You sound so creepy…” Xu Yanghe tried to connect his phone to a speaker.

“Then can you find some time around seven?” Zhou Lan asked thoughtfully, pulling out his wallet. “Bring me a cake like usual. Bring it to ‘Mei K’ outside the East Gate.”

“What cake?” Xu Yanghe still hadn’t heard clearly what was happening on Zhou Lan’s end.

Then, a voice he didn’t recognize said: “…Okay, that’s a lot…”

Zhou Lan said: “It’s not much.”

Zhou Lan—who was he talking to?