How To Trick a Fool Into a Relationship? - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

1.

Twenty kilometers outside the eastern suburbs of Haicheng, Mount Xiaoyou sat uninhabited.

At 2:00 AM, there were no stars and no moon. A floodlight from a distant construction site swiveled, its beam piercing through the sparse, withered branches of a fast-growing forest to hit the flat peak of the small hill. The freshly laid asphalt emitted a pungent, acrid smell.

Suddenly, the roar of sports cars exploded!

The lead car drifted through the sharp mountain-top bend without losing speed. Sparks flew from the friction against the road as the engine’s howl filled the air. Four or five cars followed closely behind, sending the wild birds in the forest fluttering away in all directions.

Within seconds, a scattering of cheers erupted at the finish line on the summit.

Xu Yanghe didn’t slow down until he crossed the line. Several people waiting at the finish rushed toward his car before it even fully stopped, their faces pressed against the glass, features distorted like a pack of zombies.

He rolled down the window, and a “zombie” roared as he leaned in, “Two and a half minutes! You’re a beast! Xu Er! You’re freaking incredible!”

Only then did the remaining cars cross the line in a silent procession.

A guy with yellow hair and a sunken face stepped out of a car with smoking tires. He slammed his door hard and stomped into the crowd.

Xu Yanghe had just taken off his helmet. His hair was soaked with sweat, and he frowned in discomfort.

“Xu Er, we’re just playing around among friends. Why the hell were you hitting the gas like you were trying to die?” Yellow Hair squeezed his way in.

“Being timid is boring,” Xu Yanghe replied with a smile, suddenly swinging his car door open.

Yellow Hair stumbled back a couple of steps. He wanted to keep nagging, but Xu Yanghe stepped out. At 189 cm (6’2″), he towered over the crowd, his presence inherently intimidating. The crowd instinctively parted for him. “Where are you going?”

Without looking back, Xu Yanghe said, “To shower.”

“Little brat, such a clean-freak,” Yellow Hair muttered, looking at him as if he were absurd.

…

The setup here was temporary. The track had likely been poured less than half a month ago. The perimeter fencing was more for show than safety, leaning precariously in a crooked circle. The lawn was well-done, though clearly newly laid.

As Xu Yanghe rounded the fence, the air became thick with the smell of barbecue. That group of people had been eating and drinking over here, only heading over to suck up to the drivers when they saw the final sprint approaching.

The truth was, while they claimed to be there for the racing, who would actually stare at a stretch of abandoned highway with longing eyes? It was boring.

A bonfire flickered, surrounded by trash and scattered camping chairs. In one of them sat a person, his face illuminated by the eerie glow of a phone screen.

Xu Yanghe looked down to find his bag. “I didn’t see you just now. I thought you’d gone back.”

Zhou Lan leaned back against his chair, his eyes glued to the phone. “My soul is already gone from this place.”

Xu Yanghe grabbed his backpack, held it to his nose to sniff it, then pulled out clean clothes and sniffed those too. The clothes were fine, but the bag was a lost cause.

“What’s wrong with you?” Zhou Lan glanced at him. “If you’re planning on heading back, take me with you. I have an 8:00 AM class tomorrow.”

8:00 AM?

Xu Yanghe couldn’t understand when Zhou Lan had started caring about morning classes…

“Why?” He walked past him holding his clothes. “Stay here for two days; we might as well celebrate your birthday together.”

“Don’t. It’s too noisy. I’m begging you, don’t invite this crowd for my birthday.” Zhou Lan’s eyes remained fixed on his screen as he replied to messages.

“These are all Dashan’s friends,” Xu Yanghe said, walking away with a smile. “I’m going to shower first. Talk to you in a bit.”

Zhou Lan: “So annoying. Tell Yu Dashan to get lost too.”

…

The shower room was even more temporary—just a modified shipping container. God knows where the hot water was piped in from.

But since it was labeled a “shower room,” Xu Yanghe naturally cloaked it in a “sacred light” and washed himself with great satisfaction.

According to Yu Dashan, Mount Xiaoyou now belonged to Sun Bin.

Sun Bin was one of the many illegitimate sons of the Sun family’s former patriarch—a man famous for his many affairs. Sun Bin was roughly their age, but he hadn’t studied domestically or abroad. No one knew what he did with his time or how he had become close with Yu Dashan.

Xu Yanghe, Zhou Lan, and Yu Dashan had practically grown up together. Being the second or third sons in their respective families, they shared a certain “fellow sufferer” awkwardness. Yu Dashan had only been back from studying abroad for a year, and this time he was insisting they all get to know Sun Bin. Sun Bin had clearly put in a lot of effort; having somehow heard of Xu Yanghe’s hobbies, he had turned Mount Xiaoyou into a racetrack.

Xu Yanghe found it strange. Why didn’t this guy try to butter up Zhou Lan instead?

Since when did I become so important?

…

When Xu Yanghe finished his shower, Yu Dashan was already chatting with their late-arriving host, while Zhou Lan was still glued to his phone.

Yu Dashan, wearing sagging pants and jingling with accessories, saw Xu Yanghe and waved both arms. “Bro!”

Beside him, Zhou Lan squeezed his eyes shut in second-hand embarrassment.

Xu Yanghe’s freshly washed face darkened. He still couldn’t figure out if Yu Dashan had gone abroad to study or to join an underground rap battle.

Yu Dashan pulled Sun Bin over to introduce them, suggesting they shake hands.

Sun Bin smiled, his eyes narrowing into slits. “A pleasure, Second Young Master Xu. First time meeting you.”

“Hello.” Xu Yanghe observed him. Sun Bin wasn’t as much of a hooligan as Yu Dashan; dressed in a casual blazer, he looked like a respectable person. Though they hadn’t been close, they had crossed paths before. This meeting reminded Xu Yanghe that Sun Bin’s image had always made him feel slightly uncomfortable. “Thanks for the track today, otherwise we wouldn’t have known where to go for fun in the middle of the night.”

Sun Bin said, “It’s nothing. This land was sitting idle anyway. I didn’t realize so many people in Haicheng loved racing. If I’d known you sooner, I might have made the track wider so everyone could have more fun. It’s a shame we met so late. Young Master Xu, I’m going to change—how about a race between us?”

Xu Yanghe nodded and watched Sun Bin walk away.

Yu Dashan had already wandered off. Xu Yanghe dried his hair and walked toward Zhou Lan.

Zhou Lan noticed him from a distance and finally put down his phone.

Xu Yanghe leaned in and lowered his voice. “What do you think of this Sun Bin?”

Zhou Lan scoffed. “You have your suspicions, but don’t try to fish for my opinion.”

The floodlight from the construction site swiveled again, the glare forcing Zhou Lan to cover his eyes.

Xu Yanghe started to speak but stopped. He picked out a relatively clean hard bench, pulled out a wet wipe, and began scrubbing it.

“The Xiaoyou Airport is supposed to be finished in six months…”

“Yeah,” Zhou Lan followed up. “This area of Mount Xiaoyou is huge and close by. You really believe the Sun family just gave it to an illegitimate son to play with?”

“Has your sister mentioned anything about Mount Xiaoyou?” Xu Yanghe asked.

“No.” Zhou Lan’s phone pinged. He smiled as he began typing again. “Our Zhou family didn’t get a piece of the new district bidding.”

“Maybe she mentioned it and you weren’t listening?” Xu Yanghe sat on the now-clean bench.

Zhou Lan brushed him off. “Maybe. Can’t remember though. Go ask her yourself.”

Xu Yanghe pulled out a fresh wet wipe to clean his hands. “Who are you chatting with so late? Are you in a relationship again?”

“Roommate,” Zhou Lan replied dryly.

This did nothing to ease Xu Yanghe’s suspicion. He pretended to reach for more tissues, swaying toward Zhou Lan to catch a glimpse of the screen.

Losing his patience, Zhou Lan flipped his phone face-down against his chest. “Sun Bin is here. Scram and go race your car!”

Fine. Xu Yanghe nodded, balled up the used wipes, and tossed them into a trash bag. He locked eyes with Sun Bin, who was now in a racing suit, and both headed toward the track.

Zhou Lan yelled out lazily, “Drive slow.”

Xu Yanghe raised a hand in acknowledgment. “Got it.”

…

A gunshot sounded, and two cars shot out like arrows from a bow.

The start was the mountain peak, spiraling downwards. At the base was Mount Xiaoyou’s largest flat area, where the track formed a perfect circle.

The needles on the dashboard trembled. A two-man race was a bit dull for Xu Yanghe.

They reached the foot of the hill and drifted around the entire circle. Sun Bin was exactly half a lap behind. Xu Yanghe glanced briefly across the diameter of the circle at Sun Bin.

Sun Bin shouted from his car, “Second Young Master Xu, you’re a beast!”

Xu Yanghe frowned deeply, eased off the gas slightly, and whipped the steering wheel to head back up the mountain.

Halfway up, Sun Bin overtook him on a curve.

Xu Yanghe had expected this. He leaned back, and the needle on his dash dropped a bit further.

Soon, Sun Bin had completely passed him, his car blocking the path ahead. Xu Yanghe knew Sun Bin’s car model; it hadn’t hit its limit yet. Usually, after overtaking, one would speed away and leave the other in the dust.

But Sun Bin didn’t.

Five seconds later, that annoying car rear was still stuck right in front of Xu Yanghe’s eyes—not too close, not too far, just stubbornly blocking him.

Sun Bin was doing it on purpose.

Xu Yanghe laughed in frustration at the absurdity of the situation and tapped the accelerator.

The distance between the two cars closed, yet Sun Bin showed no sign of yielding or speeding up.

Suddenly, Sun Bin slammed on his brakes. Xu Yanghe only had time to bark out a curse.

First came a minor rear-end collision. Some part made a sharp, twisting metal sound. Xu Yanghe fought to keep the car from spinning out.

After the screech of friction, both cars stabilized, but Sun Bin stayed in the same position, even slowing down further, keeping the cars dangerously close.

This time, Xu Yanghe didn’t hesitate to stomp on the gas. This grandson probably fell asleep at the wheel from fatigue—he’d just ram him awake!

Both cars lost control, bouncing and crashing against the guardrails. Sun Bin’s car slammed into the fencing, leaving a massive dent. Fortunately, the slope of Mount Xiaoyou was gentle enough that there was no risk of rolling down.

Xu Yanghe stopped, panting heavily. He had hit his head several times inside the car and felt dizzy.

Ahead, white smoke billowed from Sun Bin’s rear tires. After several kicks from the inside, the deformed door flew open, and Sun Bin tumbled out. He was bleeding and didn’t speak, just lay on the ground moaning in pain.

Xu Yanghe got out of his car.

He stared at Sun Bin but didn’t approach. His head was spinning, his vision flickering between white and black. He turned his head and saw a drop of bird droppings on his windshield.

Xu Yanghe: “…”

Completely ignoring the writhing Sun Bin, he pulled out a wet wipe and began cleaning the bird poop.

Sun Bin finally managed a broken sentence: “You… freaking…”

After cleaning the glass, Xu Yanghe balled up the wipe and tossed it into the small trash bin inside his car. He spared Sun Bin a glance, unmoved by his groans, got back in his car, and drove away.

They were only a few hundred meters from the summit. The sound of the crash must have been heard by the group above.

…

Xu Yanghe crossed the finish line, but no one rushed over this time.

He pushed the door open and stepped out.

He didn’t realize it himself, but Zhou Lan saw it instantly—the man’s face was as pale as a ghost. “What happened?”

Xu Yanghe took two more steps, finally realizing he was staggering. A chill washed over him, as if he’d been drenched in ice water.

“Sun Bin is back there… lying down…”

He took a few more steps toward the grass, then fell forward and lost consciousness.