How could a Puppy-like Boy Ever Have Any Bad Intentions? - Chapter 7

Su Lixu dried his hair and stepped out of the bathroom. He found Fu Xingran on the bed, clutching the duvet tightly in his sleep. It was a posture that radiated a profound lack of security.

Walking to the bedside, he brushed the back of his hand against Fu Xingran’s forehead. Finding the temperature normal, he tried to gently pull the duvet from the boy’s grasp. Instead, his hand was caught along with the fabric, and the sudden pull caused him to lose his balance and sit on the edge of the bed.

“…Brother.”

Su Lixu intended to withdraw his hand, but the unconscious murmur in the boy’s sleep made him pause. He looked down, gazing at Fu Xingran’s sleeping face. This face, caught between adolescence and manhood, had undergone a metamorphic change over the last four years; he had truly grown up. His brows arched slightly with a hint of rebellion, lending him a spirited look, and his eyelids were tinged with a faint red from his earlier crying.

Perhaps due to a bad dream, his thin lips were pressed tight, making him look both stubborn and childlike.

“Brother, don’t go… I’ll be good.”

Fu Xingran pressed his cheek against the back of Su Lixu’s hand. That small, subconscious act of acting spoiled softened Su Lixu’s heart. He felt himself giving in to his own characteristic kindness again.

Almost as if possessed, Su Lixu’s gaze fell upon those tightly pressed lips, and memories of that day resurfaced. It had been a late afternoon, and he was preparing to leave when a torrential downpour began. Because of the thunder, Fu Xingran had clung to him, refusing to let him go. That frail body had trembled violently, begging for a hug.

Brother, hold me. I’m scared. Just hold me once…

Back then, Fu Xingran hadn’t even hit puberty. His voice was soft, his crying filled with a pitiful, desperate plea that made it impossible to walk away. Su Lixu never could have imagined that the boy would bite him. It was a frantic, desperate biting and sucking, as if he wanted to tear a piece away. Su Lixu’s white shirt had been stained with blood, and the pain had made his vision blur. After that, every time Fu Xingran saw him, he would beg for a hug or a bite, using every tactic from acting spoiled to throwing tantrums.

Doctor Su, I’m always thinking about biting you right here. Do you think I’m a pervert?

At the time, Su Lixu knew the boy was simply ill. He did his best to guide him, helping him judge right from wrong. As a doctor in a psychiatric hospital, he couldn’t scold his patient.

And now? Now, he was simply soft-hearted.

Su Lixu carefully withdrew his hand and tucked the corner of the duvet around the boy. He reached out to brush away the messy hair on Fu Xingran’s forehead. “Sleep,” he whispered.

Just then, he heard a phone ring. He glanced instinctively toward the bathroom and then walked over. He found the sound coming from the laundry basket. Leaning down, he fished the phone out of Fu Xingran’s pants pocket. The caller ID showed only one word: Fu.

Fu Xingran had no siblings, only a father. This had to be Mr. Fu. Was there an emergency?

He answered the call, but before he could introduce himself, Mr. Fu’s stern voice erupted from the other end.

“Fu Xingran, where did you run off to? Didn’t I tell you I’d pick you up after school today?! We have an appointment to see Dr. Zhang. If you make a scene and refuse to go this time, there won’t be any doctors left who can help you! I’m at the school gate now. Get back here immediately!”

Going to see a doctor? Su Lixu frowned at the phrase. So, Fu Xingran was still seeing a physician.

“Hello, Mr. Fu. This is Su Lixu. Xingran vomited earlier because he was caught in the rain. He’s unwell and sleeping right now.”

The silence on the other end was instantaneous. It took a few seconds for Mr. Fu to respond. “Doctor Su? You… you’re back?”

“Yes,” Su Lixu replied.

“So Xingran is with you?”

“Yes. He was caught in the rain and is resting.”

There was another silence. After a moment, Mr. Fu spoke again. “Doctor Su, is it convenient to meet? I want to talk to you about Xingran.”

Su Lixu smiled mirthlessly. “Mr. Fu, I believe I must decline. I am no longer Xingran’s attending physician. Furthermore, I am no longer a psychiatrist. I likely cannot help you.”

Another pause followed. “Doctor Su, I know my actions back then might have been disrespectful to you, but I had my reasons. I hope you can give me a chance to explain and apologize. And regarding Xingran’s current condition, since he has already met you, it is even more necessary for me to tell you the truth. I don’t want him to cause trouble for you.”

Perhaps because Mr. Fu’s tone was so solemn, Su Lixu realized the situation might be more serious than what he had observed. After a moment of silence, he agreed. “Fine.”

“Where should I meet you?” Mr. Fu asked.

Su Lixu thought of the cafe downstairs. “I live in Apartment Five of Yunshang Langmanli. There is a quiet cafe here.”

“I’ll see you soon then. And Doctor Su, please don’t let Xingran know I met with you.”

After hanging up, Su Lixu put the phone down. He inadvertently caught a glimpse of the lock screen wallpaper, and his eyes widened in surprise. It was a photo of him teaching in class.

How…

The cafe wasn’t crowded. The two men sitting by the window were particularly eye-catching. Su Lixu looked at Mr. Fu, who was dressed in a silver-gray suit, and nodded politely. “Mr. Fu, it’s been a long time.”

“Long time no see, Doctor Su. I’m surprised you returned,” Mr. Fu said, his voice deep. “I also didn’t expect you to meet Xingran. Did he contact you?”

“No, it was just a coincidence. I’m currently a counselor at Jingda. Since a new mental health course was introduced this semester, I happen to be teaching Xingran’s class,” Su Lixu explained. He noticed Mr. Fu’s expression grow complicated. “Is something wrong?”

“Did Xingran say anything to you?”

The random question confused Su Lixu. “What would he have to say?”

Mr. Fu frowned. “How did he react when he saw you? Did he ask you anything? Did he lose his temper?”

Su Lixu listened to the way Mr. Fu described his own son. “Mr. Fu, there’s no need to be so tense. I saw him getting along well with his classmates. His personality is much more cheerful now. He’s very enthusiastic and has helped me quite a bit.”

He watched as Mr. Fu’s expression became even more subtle, as if questioning the truth of his words.

Mr. Fu took a sip of his coffee and spoke after a short silence. “I didn’t think you’d be back so soon, nor did I expect you to run into Xingran. Since you have met, I feel I must tell you about his condition over the past few years. I don’t want to burden you, and I know you aren’t working in a hospital, but for your own safety, I must speak.”

The coffee cup was placed back on the saucer with a crisp clink.

“After you left and he was discharged, he began refusing all medication and counseling. Unlike before, when he acknowledged his illness, he became convinced that nothing was wrong and that he didn’t need treatment.”

The sound of the spoon hitting the cup echoed the sinking feeling in Su Lixu’s heart. He stopped stirring his coffee. “He didn’t continue treatment?”

“No. He wouldn’t see a doctor or take medicine. Doctor Su, do you remember when I told you I was stopping your treatment because it wasn’t working, and that I was taking him abroad?”

At this mention, Su Lixu looked up at Mr. Fu. The memory still stung; having his professionalism questioned by a patient’s family had been a major blow, and it was one of the reasons he decided to pursue his doctorate.

Mr. Fu looked at the beautiful man across from him. He seemed far too gentle; he probably wouldn’t even know how to resist if his son bullied him.

“The night Xingran bit you, I saw it.”

With a soft thud, Su Lixu’s spoon fell into his cup, splashing a bit of coffee. His lashes fluttered as he looked at Mr. Fu in shock. Suddenly, everything began to make sense.

“After you fainted, I gave Xingran a severe beating,” Mr. Fu continued. “I told him that Doctor Su was his savior, that since he had learned to control his emotions, he shouldn’t bully you. I told him he couldn’t do whatever he wanted just because he was sick. I told him you were angry and that you were leaving him because he bit you.”

Su Lixu looked at Mr. Fu, his words trapped in his throat. So that was why Fu Xingran believed he had left?

Mr. Fu seemed to read his mind. “That is one of the reasons I didn’t want him to have contact with you. His state of mind is wrong. Even after discharge, when he only needed weekly counseling and medication, he couldn’t reduce his dependence on you. This is an emotion that exceeds the doctor-patient relationship. He is obsessed with you, and I had to stop it.”

Su Lixu found it almost laughable. “So you still think I was the problem?”

Mr. Fu sensed the anger in Su Lixu’s tone. He fell silent for a few seconds, wondering if he hadn’t been clear. He was simply afraid his son would hurt the doctor.

“Xingran is my son. I know his temper well. I’m sorry I lied to you. I apologize now. Your treatment was effective, but I didn’t want ‘effective’ to be built on you getting hurt. That wasn’t why I hired a doctor. I wasn’t belittling your skills; on the contrary, I think you are very capable. I just didn’t want Xingran to commit an extreme act of violence back then.”

Su Lixu’s brow remained furrowed.

“Doctor Su, I also need to tell you that in the years since you left, the frequency of Xingran’s suicide attempts increased. He wasn’t satisfied with just losing his temper anymore; he used self-harm as an outlet. On the day you left, he covered himself in injuries. He nearly died from blood loss.”

Su Lixu thought of the scars he had glimpsed on Fu Xingran’s chest. He hadn’t been mistaken.

“I realize now that my actions were selfish toward Xingran, but I felt I had to do it. He’s my son; I couldn’t watch him drag an innocent person into harm’s way. But now, I’m at my wit’s end. You’re back, and I can only beg you to save him. He only listens to you,” Mr. Fu pleaded sincerely.

Su Lixu met Mr. Fu’s deep, steady gaze. He finally felt that this man was asking him as a father. But a mistake was a mistake. This “white lie” had caused Fu Xingran even greater harm. In the boy’s mind, Su Lixu was a villain who had broken a promise. It had hurt Su Lixu, too.

“I can guarantee that if Xingran bullies you, tell me and I’ll handle it. Furthermore, beyond paying for treatment, I will grant you three conditions within my power. I believe I can accomplish almost anything in this world, aside from controlling life and death.”

Mr. Fu waited, but there was no immediate answer. He met Su Lixu’s calm eyes and for a moment felt like he was talking to himself.

After a long silence, Su Lixu laughed softly. “Mr. Fu, you still don’t understand. Xingran’s problem isn’t something you can solve with money, nor is it something I can solve just by helping. I told you back then that he had entered the middle stage of treatment and was showing clear results. But you insisted that hospitalization wasn’t helping and that I wasn’t qualified. Even if your real intention was to protect me, that isn’t what you said then. The damage to Xingran—and to me—has already been done.”

“Even if Xingran might hurt me, I am a doctor. I have a responsibility to my patients. These are risks we anticipate when we choose this field. So, as I said when you interrupted the treatment: even if you replaced me with a more authoritative expert, it would be harder for a BPD patient to establish a stable, trusting relationship than to undergo the treatment itself.”

Mr. Fu hadn’t expected this reaction. The soft laugh felt like a mockery of his pride.

“Speaking frankly, I appreciate the thought behind your lie, but I hope you are clear on the secondary trauma you caused Xingran, and the hurt you caused me. You need to explain this to him yourself. You must make it clear.”

Mr. Fu looked into the man’s eyes. His amber pupils were cool and resolute. Beneath this beautiful, refined exterior, he was not as fragile as Mr. Fu had assumed.

Su Lixu pulled his hand away from his cup and smiled thinly. “Furthermore, I am no longer a psychiatrist. I have no right to diagnose or prescribe for him. I am simply a university counselor. And unless Xingran actively asks for my help, I will no longer treat him like a patient.”

Su Lixu’s smile was polite, but his eyes were cold. Every polite word carried a sharp criticism of the father’s past choices. It reminded Mr. Fu of a younger Su Lixu years ago, standing before him with logic and dignity, refusing to be intimidated while warning him of the consequences.

“I hope you can give him more patience and companionship, and less blame,” Su Lixu added. “Do not wait until you regret it later.” He nodded in farewell and left.

Don’t be like me, he thought. By the time you regret it, it’s too late.

With a “beep,” the fingerprint lock opened. Su Lixu pushed the door open. As he was taking off his shoes in the foyer, Fu Xingran walked out, his eyes red.

Su Lixu steadied himself against the cabinet, looking at him in surprise. “Why are you crying?”

Fu Xingran walked up to him, placing his arms on either side of Su Lixu, trapping him against the wall. He hugged him tightly. “I thought you disappeared again. I couldn’t find you. Are you throwing me away?”

Standing before him, this young man’s large frame felt imposing, creating a sharp contrast with his terrified, vulnerable state.

Su Lixu was caught between laughter and tears. “I just went out to take out the trash.”

“I don’t care. You left me. Even for a second, you left.” Fu Xingran buried his head in Su Lixu’s neck and spoke in a muffled voice. “You have to hold me, or I’ll be angry.”

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