How could a Puppy-like Boy Ever Have Any Bad Intentions? - Chapter 5

“Doctor Su, the donuts you made were delicious.”

Su Lixu looked at the empty plates. He had made over a dozen donuts, and this guy had eaten seven of them, along with a full plate of pasta. He couldn’t help but marvel at how much a young man could eat.

“When you were in the hospital, you hated eating and were so small and thin. It seems your appetite is much better now. No wonder you’ve grown so much, you’re even taller than me.”

Fu Xingran smiled brilliantly. “It’s because I wanted to grow up quickly. I didn’t want to be bullied anymore. Eating more helps me grow taller.”

Su Lixu met his smile, but for some reason, the radiance of it felt unnatural. Although he had been Fu Xingran’s attending physician, they were no longer in a doctor-patient relationship, so he felt it was wrong to over-analyze the boy’s psyche. However, his professional intuition told him something about Fu Xingran was incredibly subtle. The boy gave off an air of being completely impenetrable.

“Teacher Su, can I take the rest of the donuts with me?” Fu Xingran pointed at the remaining donuts in the kitchen, his eyes wide and pleading.

“Of course. I made them for you anyway,” Su Lixu laughed.

“Thank you, Doctor Su.”

“You must be stuffed. Would you like some tea to help with digestion?” Su Lixu stood up to prepare some.

“No thanks, Doctor Su. I should get going.”

“Hmm?” Su Lixu was reaching for the tea when he noticed Fu Xingran pressing his hand against his stomach, his brow furrowing slightly. “Do you have class this afternoon? Should I drive you back?”

Fu Xingran inconspicuously withdrew his hand from his abdomen and smiled. “No class, but I feel like going back to sleep.”

Su Lixu wondered if the boy had simply overeaten, but since Fu Xingran didn’t say anything, he didn’t feel right bringing it up. He nodded understandingly. “Then I’ll see you out.” He went to the kitchen to pack the remaining donuts into a small box.

“No need, Doctor Su. I’ll walk back. It’ll help with the digestion.”

Su Lixu noticed Fu Xingran’s strong urge to leave. The boy’s attitude seemed to have shifted suddenly. Moreover, he refused a ride back to the school. The apartment was not within walking distance of the university; it was at least three or four kilometers away.

Is he so uncomfortable from overeating that he doesn’t want me to know? Su Lixu wondered.

He walked Fu Xingran to the door. Just as he was about to walk him downstairs, Fu Xingran reached out to block the doorframe. He looked down deeply at Su Lixu.

“Since we aren’t doctor and patient anymore, can I call you often and come over for dinner in the future?”

Su Lixu paused for two seconds before responding. “Of course. You’re welcome anytime.”

As if he had received a sacred vow, Fu Xingran’s face lit up. “That’s wonderful! I’ll head out then, Doctor Su. I won’t disturb you further. See you next time.” He gave Su Lixu a deep, formal bow before leaving.

He was incredibly well-behaved. If his roommates saw him now, their jaws would drop. This was not the aloof, arrogant Fu Xingran they knew.

Su Lixu watched the door close and stood in the foyer in silence. In his career, Fu Xingran was a unique case. Borderline Personality Disorder is a severe emotional disorder that requires long-term treatment. Originally, it was Fu Xingran who had sought help and agreed to hospitalization, though the treatment had been abruptly interrupted.

Has he truly improved? Su Lixu shook off the thoughts. Fu Xingran was no longer his patient; he shouldn’t analyze him this way. This meeting was just a coincidence between two acquaintances.

The moment he turned away from the door, thunder suddenly rumbled outside. Without warning, a heavy rain began to fall.

Su Lixu gripped the door handle, a tingling sensation starting in the left side of his chest—a physical reaction triggered by the thunder. Simultaneously, he remembered that thunder was Fu Xingran’s greatest fear.

The phone on the dining table rang. He walked over and saw the caller ID: Fu Xingran. They had just exchanged numbers moments ago. He slid to answer.

“Hello?”

“…Teacher Su.”

The voice on the other end was trembling with fear, muffled by the sound of pouring rain. He sounded utterly pitiful. Su Lixu knew that years ago, Fu Xingran had been so terrified of thunder that he would use a pen to scratch his wrists to vent the fear.

“Where are you? Have you gone far? If not, come back to my place immediately.”

“…My clothes are soaked. The donuts are wet too. The thunder… I’m so scared.”

“Tell me exactly where you are.” Su Lixu grabbed a large umbrella and pushed open his front door.

“The flower bed downstairs.”

“Go wait in the lobby. I’m coming down to get you.”

“…I’m too scared. My legs are weak, I can’t move.”

“Count to twenty. I’ll be right there.”

Su Lixu hung up and ran to the elevator, staring at the floor indicator with a tight frown. The moment the doors opened, he stepped inside.

The clouds thickened as the rain intensified.

“…12, 13, 14…”

Downstairs by the flower bed, Fu Xingran was soaked to the bone. He was trembling from pain, and his stomach was churning so violently he felt he might retch. Yet, he clutched the box of donuts tightly. His vision was blurred by rain, but his eyes were fixed on the apartment entrance.

He hadn’t wanted to leave, but he had eaten too much and felt like throwing up. He didn’t want Su Lixu to see him vomit; he didn’t want Su Lixu to think he wasn’t “cured.” He wanted to appear healthy, sunny, and lively, no longer the screaming, crying madman.

But then the thunder came. He was terrified, his legs wouldn’t work, and his only instinct was to seek help from Su Lixu. He thought to himself that even if he looked pathetic and vomited, he could blame it on the rain. It was the perfect excuse to stay at Su Lixu’s house.

Su Lixu only had one bed. If he begged, Su Lixu might hold him while he slept. Just thinking about it made the fear of thunder fade slightly.

“…20.”

“Xingran!”

Fu Xingran snapped his head up. He saw Su Lixu approaching through the rain with a black umbrella, looking like a beam of light breaking through a crack. His eyes instantly lit up.

“…Doctor Su.”

But the moment he stood up, the intense discomfort in his stomach surged. Unable to hold it back, he turned his head and vomited into the flower bed.

“Xingran!” Su Lixu hurried over, holding the umbrella over the boy’s head. He didn’t care about getting wet himself. He saw how pale Fu Xingran looked. “What happened? Where does it hurt?”

Fu Xingran continued to retch. Su Lixu rubbed his back gently until he finished.

“…Doctor Su.” Fu Xingran turned back, looking miserable. Despite being such a tall boy, he looked incredibly vulnerable when he was unwell. “I threw up.”

Su Lixu pulled a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe the corners of the boy’s mouth. He supported him by the arm and led him back toward the building. “It’s okay. Let’s get you upstairs first.”

After a few steps, Fu Xingran suddenly threw his arms around him. The black umbrella fell to the ground, splashing into the puddles. The rain immediately soaked their clothes. The late autumn rain was freezing, and the only warmth came from their pressed-together bodies.

“…What is it?” Su Lixu was caught off guard by the weight of the boy and the sudden downpour on his skin.

“The donuts are ruined.” Fu Xingran hugged Su Lixu tightly from behind, burying his face in the man’s neck and sobbing. “You made those for me. This rain is so cruel.”

The rain was loud, but because they were so close, Su Lixu heard the grievance in his voice clearly. He felt a sense of helplessness; this guy was just as prone to feeling wronged as he had been years ago.

“I can make them for you again. It’s fine. Let’s go up, or you’ll catch a cold.”

“If they’re gone, they’re gone. It’s not the same.” Fu Xingran wrapped his arms tighter around Su Lixu’s shoulders. “Doctor Su, do you know how much I missed you these years? You definitely don’t know. I missed you so much, so, so much.”

The rain nearly swallowed the continuous murmurs, but it couldn’t drown out the burning passion within them.

“I want to bite you.”

A large, warm hand pressed against Su Lixu’s chest. Like a reflex, Su Lixu felt the spot on his chest begin to ache.

“Please don’t be afraid of me, okay?” Fu Xingran said softly when he didn’t get a response. “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have bitten you. it hurt, didn’t it?”

“Xingran, you—”

Su Lixu was cut off as Fu Xingran hugged him even tighter, as if trying to merge him into his own body. The rain fell harder. Fu Xingran’s breath against his ear was scalding.

“I’m only addicted to you. I’ve only ever bitten you. I’m very well-behaved, so please don’t leave again, okay?” Fu Xingran felt the nausea rising again, but he was too afraid Su Lixu would push him away, so he just held on tight, repeating his pleas.

Su Lixu sighed almost imperceptibly. That incident was like the tooth marks left on his left side; they were too deep to ever truly disappear. Just like the name “Fu Xingran,” the mere mention of it caused a reflexive pain in those marks.

“Let’s get inside and get you a hot shower before you get sick.”

Back in the apartment, Su Lixu told Fu Xingran to shower immediately and handed him some loungewear. Fu Xingran stood there dripping, his hair plastered to his forehead, looking down at Su Lixu who was equally soaked.

“Doctor Su, why don’t we shower together? You’re wet too.”

Su Lixu unceremoniously pushed him into the bathroom and shut the door. He didn’t leave immediately; he stood by the door until he heard the sound of the shower starting.

Inside, Fu Xingran stood under the spray, staring at the door. He let the hot water wash over his head. He couldn’t tell if he was crying, but if he was, it was tears of joy. Five minutes later, he stepped out.

He stood before the mirror and looked at himself. On his pale skin were dozens of scars, some old and some new. Finally, his gaze fell on the tattoo over his left breast. It was an abbreviation: SLX.

He had tattooed it over his heart, in the exact spot where he had once bitten Su Lixu. As long as he was alive, his heartbeat would touch that name.

“Xingran, are you finished?” Su Lixu’s voice came from outside.

Fu Xingran sat on the toilet lid, leaning against the tank, and spoke in a feigned weak voice. “Teacher Su, my stomach hurts so much I can’t stand up. Come in and help me, please.”

His Teacher Su was so gentle; he surely wouldn’t have the heart to refuse him.

Push the door open and come in.

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