Healing the Black Lotus Female Supporting Character (Transmigration into a Book - ABO) - Chapter 36

“Reborn?”

A thread in Hua You’s mind began to connect the dots. After a failed attempt to summon the system, she still feigned surprise and asked Bian Chengyi, “Then… do you still remember things from your past life?”

Bian Chengyi spoke slowly. “Most of it… I don’t really remember. But I do know this—by the end of my previous life, I was very sad.”

Very sad.

The kind of sadness where you can’t hold on even one more second. The kind of sadness where you stop caring, stop fearing. The kind that makes everything feel pointless.

It happened by the sea.

She had stood there too, overlooking everything from above. But back then, the view only consisted of nighttime fog and the ocean.

She stood there for two hours. People passed by, coming and going, but no one really noticed her. It was as if she were just part of the scenery—another shadow by the night sea.

She wondered, if she melted into that fog and ocean completely… would her life finally carry a bit more meaning?

The crashing waves were her only answer.

Now she finally knew how to describe the agony of her sensitivity episodes. It was like the pain of drowning in that past life—unable to breathe, every vein on the verge of bursting, and so unbearable she could only wish she’d pass out sooner.

So that’s what it was.

Maybe it was a small punishment from whoever had toyed with her fate—punishing her for choosing to end it herself.

Her fate had never truly belonged to her.

And just then, Hua You finally spoke.

“What I want to ask is, in your past life… was I one of the reasons why you were so sad?” She thought of the plot in the book, and an overwhelming sorrow churned in her chest.

“Maybe,” Bian Chengyi replied. “I can hardly remember what you were like in that past life. But honestly, I don’t think it really matters. Because…”

“You’re not the Hua You from my past life—or even the Hua You from this one.”

Her voice was steady and sure. It sent ripples crashing through Hua You’s heart.

Bian Chengyi smiled faintly, as if confident in her own intuition.

“I think it started from the time you pretended to be in your heat cycle. That’s when I sensed something… changing.”

“Maybe my life has only restarted once. Maybe twice. Maybe three times, or even more. Each time I lose nearly all of my memories. But somehow, I can still feel it—only you ever changed the course of my world.”

“So, to be honest, even though I told you not to be afraid earlier…”

Bian Chengyi sighed helplessly, her eyes faintly tinged red.

But luckily, Hua You couldn’t see it.

“What I really wanted to say was…”

“The one who’s truly afraid—it’s me.”

“I’m terrified that if anything happens today… the next time I open my eyes, it’ll be the first day of senior year all over again.”

“That I’ll never escape, never break free from the shadow of the college entrance exams.”

“That those grades, that entire year, will forever declare me a complete failure—a person with no worth, no reason to exist.”

When Hua You heard this, she noticed the task progress bar was already nearing 99%.

And she knew—she knew exactly where that missing one percent was hiding.

It had nothing to do with the exams anymore.

All it would take was for her to say “I love you”—

Just one sentence, and Bian Chengyi would be freed from the endless loop that was her senior year.

But the words caught in Hua You’s throat. She hesitated.

Compared to Bian Chengyi’s open and wholehearted love, hers felt tainted with ulterior motives. Like hugging someone while holding a knife against their back—warm to the touch, yet cold as ice. The kind of contradiction that felt like hell.

She couldn’t bear to pull Bian Chengyi out of one hell, only to send her into another.

What should she do? What could she do?

All Hua You could do was sigh.

“Sister Bian…”

“What you don’t know is… somewhere out there—not in this world, but in another—there are many people who like you. Really, really like you.”

“Your life isn’t a failure. It can’t be defined by someone else. And it certainly shouldn’t be controlled by fate…”

A silent tear slid down Bian Chengyi’s cheek.

Thankfully—

Thankfully, Hua You couldn’t see it.

And Hua You was still carefully choosing every word she said. “If you could break free from the constraints, from the roles and scripts forced on you… and find a life that truly belongs to you, I think you’d be happy. Genuinely happy…”

No.

What I know is—without you, I won’t be happy.

Hua You watched helplessly as Bian Chengyi’s corruption meter spiked. She racked her brain, trying to figure out which sentence had gone wrong. Her tone grew anxious without her even noticing:

“In any case, you can’t—you can’t let yourself spiral again!”

“Sister! Sister Bian!”

“Don’t you know? I only exist… because of you!”

Bian Chengyi froze.

Just as Hua You realized something was off and tried to explain herself better, the roller coaster suddenly jolted back into motion.

At that moment, Hua You had no time to be afraid of the falling sensation. What truly terrified her was Bian Chengyi’s state of mind. Once the ride ended and the safety bar lifted, she rushed to take Bian Chengyi’s hand.

Bian didn’t resist—she let Hua You hold it—but her whole expression was blank, like her soul had gone somewhere else.

“You only exist because of me…” Bian Chengyi choked out the words, her voice trembling and broken. “What do you mean by that?”

“Are you… someone I imagined?” Her tone was bitter beyond belief. “Did I just have a long, beautiful dream? And when I wake up, we’re still strangers who can’t stand each other… we’ve never been together… no one’s ever helped me through my heats…”

“No,” Hua You said firmly.

“That’s not it at all, Sister Bian.”

She led Bian Chengyi to a bench by the roadside and gently wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes.

“I’m not someone you imagined…”

“But how do I put it… there’s just no helping it. I’m someone who can only exist for a limited time.”

“At some point… I’ll disappear from your life.”

Hua You smiled again. “So, while I still can, I want to spend as much time with you as possible.”

Bian Chengyi froze.

She felt the pain begin again—deep, from within her very bones.

“Don’t say any more,” she whispered, barely audible.

For the first time, when Hua You looked at Bian Chengyi, there was a faint trace of sorrow in her eyes. “Sister Bian, people fall in love and then drift apart. It’s actually very normal for people not to stay together until the end…”

“Please stop… I’m begging you!”

Her tears came uncontrollably.

“I’m begging you, Hua You…”

Hua You was stunned.

It was the first time she had ever seen Bian Chengyi lose control like this.

Even during her painful susceptibility episodes—when Hua You had feared for her—Bian Chengyi had never fallen apart like this.

Bian Chengyi lowered her head to her knees. She tried her best to hold it back, but still, her sobs came in broken waves.

Hua You reached out, wanting to pat her back—but Bian Chengyi gently shifted away.

“Just… give me a moment. Please.”

In her memory, Bian Chengyi couldn’t remember the last time she cried this hard.

At least, not in this life.

“Can you stay?”

After a while, she asked in a small, trembling voice, still hiccuping between sobs.

She asked again, as if trying to confirm it wasn’t too much to ask:

“Can you… not go?”

And Hua You understood—this was the moment she had to harden her heart completely.

“Sister Bian… from the very beginning—when I let you bite me—it was all part of a system-issued task.”

“Yes… I’m not the original Hua You.”

“It’s true… I don’t dislike you.”

Hua You gave her a slow, bittersweet smile.

“But once the college entrance exam is over… I’ll completely disappear from this world.”

Bian Chengyi looked up, her voice hoarse with desperation: “There’s really no other way?”

Hua You shook her head. “Sister Bian, do you remember… one night, you said that if fate ever forced you to fall for someone, you’d go against it just to defy destiny?”

“If it’s you, then none of that matters,” Bian Chengyi suddenly said, as if she had grabbed hold of a lifeline.

“If it’s you… then everything can change.”

Principles could be broken. Rules rewritten. Even the cycle of rebirth could become not a curse, but a sweet, endless loop.

“Everything—everything can be changed.”

“Hua You… little kitten, listen to me.”

Bian Chengyi’s voice was filled with conviction, even though her eyes were red and swollen. Yet still, there was a glimmer of hope in them.

“If I get into Ke University… will you stay?”

“Or tell me—what can I do… to make you really fall for me, to stay by my side?”

Hua You saw the blackening meter nearly full—and silently drew in a sharp breath.

Her face was tinged with reluctance. “Sister Bian… you don’t even know which version of me is real. Or rather, every day I spent with you, everything I did… I was trying to make you a little bit happier.”

“But to be precise… the version of myself I showed you—it wasn’t entirely real.”

“If you saw all of me, the real me… I wonder if you’d still like me.”

At last, Hua You had said everything she had buried in her heart.

And at that moment, Bian Chengyi suddenly shot up, pacing in circles like she was clinging to something fragile but vital.

“I get it, little kitten. I understand what you’re saying now…”

“You mean I don’t really know the real you, right?”

Bian Chengyi knelt slightly, looking up at Hua You—whose own eyes had begun to redden.

“It’s okay. Really. It’s okay…” she whispered, over and over.

She gripped Hua You’s hand tightly—so tightly it felt almost out of control.

“Then this time, let me get to know you. Let me pursue you. Let me love you.”

“I’ll bring you breakfast, listen to your real stories, talk with you, laugh with you, walk to class with you, eat lunch together—yes, I’ll do all that for you, just like you once did for me.”

“Little kitten—no, Hua You. Hua You from the very beginning…”

“Will you give me that chance?”

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