Finding the Shape of Love - Chapter 5

The next day, Sunday. I had come shopping with Yoko. When she asked me in the afternoon, I thought, “Huh?” but I was the one who told her on Friday that she should properly buy a bra.

As her older sister, I probably should look after that. Though I question whether she still has that maidenly shyness about buying such things.

I’m aware she sees me as a romantic interest and I’m properly cautious about that, but aside from that, I treat Yoko normally as a younger sister.

“When did you start buying proper ones, Sis?”

“I never used camisoles, I used sports bras from the start. I naturally transitioned to regular ones from there, so I can’t really say when.”

Whether you’d call it moving from sports types to proper ones, or when I started using the regular kind that fastens in the back. I just naturally started buying them at some point during shopping. The sports bras had cups too, so I transitioned with no resistance at all, treating it as a fashion thing. So, when asked “when,” I don’t remember.

Actually, it’s more strange that Yoko is still using camisoles for so long. Was it my fault for not noticing? My mom bought me my sports bra back in sixth grade when I had practically nothing but had started my period.

“Hmm. But me… I don’t really have any breasts though.”

Yoko seems to have had her memories altered. It’s true that currently I have slightly more breast than her. But that’s only natural comparing me, a second-year high school student, to Yoko, a first-year middle school student.

When I was Yoko’s age, I was growing taller rapidly and was skinny, so I definitely had less breast than Yoko. Yoko takes after our mom. She’s short but has a slightly plump build overall, so she has proper, noticeable breasts.

“You have good flesh, so you’re on the having-them side, aren’t you?”

“D-don’t call me fat!”

“I’m not. That kind of build is cute.”

“……”

Ah, she’s blushing. What, am I not allowed to say she’s cute? Did she get self-conscious over such a trivial comment?

She’s my little sister, so she’s cute, and objectively speaking, Yoko is normally cute. Ugh. That’s troublesome. Actually, basically I’m the honest type, or rather, the type that casually says things like that out loud. It’s harder for me to not say them.

“Yoko, what do you like about me? That I’m kind, pamper you, and am reliable?”

“……Aren’t you being conceited?”

“I recognize that I was like that towards Yoko.”

I’m aware that I was a good older sister to Yoko. So even if she says she likes me, it makes much more sense than being hated. Well, that’s probably why I made her misunderstand though.

I’m not particularly a good person, nor am I that kind. I just put on a nice face and acted like a good older sister because she’s my cute little sister.

“……That kind of thing, I can’t put into just one word. I think it’s weird too. But, before I knew it, I’d fallen in love. Every part of you makes my heart go doki-doki.”

“Hmm.”

“Ugh! You’re the one who asked! You have way too little interest!”

“Sorry. I couldn’t help it.”

Her face and mannerisms, blushing bright red and glancing at me, are cute, but I found myself thinking I have no interest in my little sister’s love talk. Since the object is me, it’s more like information gathering than love talk, but precisely because it’s Yoko, I somehow feel cold about it. Yeah, that one was my bad.

“From my perspective, I think you fell for an illusion of me. The me where I end up acting like a good older sister. I wanted to ask what parts those are.”

“Illusion… I won’t deny it completely, but thinking you’re perfectly acting like a good older sister is something only you do, you know?”

“Excuse me? After all the care I’ve given you, you say that?”

“Maybe so, but you’re the reason I started having a sharp tongue.”

“I don’t think it’s good to blame others. Kids pick up bad words from all over the place.”

I won’t deny I have elements of a sharp tongue. I usually try to be conscious of speaking gently, but when I get angry, my natural sharp tongue sometimes comes out.

But that means I can usually behave rationally, and it’s a good point, isn’t it? Like knowing human malice but still believing in goodwill—a kind of original sin theory.

“I hate how you always treat me like a child.”

“You getting angry about being treated like a child is childish.”

“……I hate you.”

“Ah, is that so? I don’t really mind though.”

“Ugh! …That’s a lie. I like you, so stop saying things like that. When you say that knowing how I feel, it really, hurts.”

Even though I said it’s better to be hated than to become lovers, she glared at me with teary eyes.

She’s really selfish. Even though she’s the one who said “I hate you.” She says “I hate you” with a little-sister vibe, but when it’s actually affirmed, she gets hurt by her feelings of wanting to be lovers, and then she says that with a little-sister face—it’s seriously unfair.

She’s too hard to handle. I don’t want to make her cry, and I don’t want to be hated. If it becomes impossible, I’ll distance myself and cut ties, but if I can help it, I don’t want to lose my cute little sister.

The way things have been is best. But from Yoko’s perspective, even this perfectly normal wish of mine is probably selfish in its own way.

It’s not like Yoko fell for me with malicious intent, she’s probably serious, and she didn’t say anything until now because she knew it would cause trouble.

Yesterday I simplistically thought the Yoko situation was resolved, but it’s nothing like that. Rather, it’s harder than Koume. Koume doesn’t know about Yoko, so things can continue as they are with no problem, but with Yoko, I have to lie and search for a new relationship. Ah, what a pain.

“Then Yoko has parts she needs to be careful about too. If you’re treated with the usual attitude, I’ll act the usual way too.”

“Ugh… But, changing my attitude so suddenly is embarrassing.”

“Then just stay as my little sister. If you do that, I’ll always cherish you as my cute little sister.”

“…Does that mean, like, a little sister who lives with you even when we’re adults, sleeps together at night, stays with you forever—is that possible?”

“Not possible.”

“……”

Well, of course it’s not possible, and casually trying to get us to sleep together—that’s an ulterior motive, right? It’s scary that she thought there was a possibility I’d say it was possible. What’s with that dissatisfied look?

With that kind of conversation that’s a bit suspicious for sisters to be having, we shopped while gauging the distance between us.

In front of the store clerk, of course we interacted perfectly normally. Yoko seemed to understand that much.

Finishing our shopping, we took a break. We decided to have tea at a cafe.

The amount we’d need to buy starting now wasn’t small. It was a considerable sum. Of course, we’d gotten funds from our mom, but a middle schooler like Yoko probably doesn’t have much financial leeway.

So, I decided to treat her. Yoko said thank you with a smile, acting like it was natural—she was cute, and indeed, no matter how troublesome or annoying, she’s a little sister I can’t hate.

“Hey, hey, Sis. Sitting here having tea like this, do we look like we’re on a date?”

“Not to be mean or anything, but I think we only look like sisters. Our faces are similar too.”

“Eh, are they similar?”

At my words, Yoko giggled happily.

That’s what makes her happy? I don’t understand the emotion, but it’s cute. But liking someone while thinking they look like you? Is she a narcissist?

Yoko looks like our mom—petite, with wavy hair, a round face, slightly droopy eyes, a straight nose bridge, and a somewhat large mouth.

I look like our dad—tall, straight hair, and compared to Yoko my face is somewhat oblong? But still, the area around my eyes looks sleepy, my nose bridge is the same, and when I’m quiet the corners of my mouth turn down, looking displeased—that’s the same too. At a glance, if we’re side by side, we’d only look like normal sisters.

That’s precisely why she’s cute, and precisely why she’s my little sister.

“Senpai! What a coincidence!”

“Guh!?”

Just as I was thinking about my little sister’s preferences, a voice I recognized but didn’t want to hear called out to me from behind. As my shoulder was tapped lightly, I turned around to find, just as expected, Koume, whom I’d also met yesterday.

“Ufufu. I saw you, so I couldn’t help calling out. Is this your little sister? Please introduce us.”

“…Sis, who is this?”

Crap. Nothing but crap. If she finds out, Yoko will definitely make a scene. If that happens outdoors like this, I won’t be able to come to this mall anymore. No, it’s fine. It’s still salvageable.

Pretending to be calm, I stood up smoothly, subtly positioning myself where I could restrain Yoko if necessary, and decided to introduce the two.

“As you guessed, this is my little sister Yoko. Yoko, this is my senpai from high school—”

“Senpai, aren’t you going to introduce me as your lover?”

“Ha.”

Haah!? Sensing she was about to change her expression and shout; I reached my right hand towards Yoko’s face before she could. I placed my thumb and pinky under her jaw and gripped her mouth to keep it from opening, and since she seemed about to resist, I pulled her close, putting my left arm under her left armpit from behind in a sort of hugging position, bending it to restrain her.

“Calm down, Yoko, stay.”

“Mmm—!”

“Wh-what’s wrong? Senpai.”

Whoops. Because I preempted Yoko before she could make a scene, it ended up looking like I’d suddenly restrained my little sister who wasn’t doing anything.

Koume was taken aback too, and people around us were looking at us strangely.

“Let’s move somewhere else. Sorry Koume, could you grab the drinks and bags?”

“Okay, ah, you have quite a lot of bags, don’t you?”

“Sorry. Let’s go somewhere we can talk calmly—a karaoke place.”

“?? Haa.”

Taking her home like this would be difficult. My legs already hurt from being kicked. I need to calm her down somehow, but it’s hard to release her from this state without letting her shout even once, so I decided to go somewhere where making noise would be fine.

I dragged Yoko along with me. At first she resisted, but she quieted down around the time we left the store, so I kept her mouth covered but carried her by the waist as we walked.