Finding the Shape of Love - Chapter 2

I found myself pinned to the bed by my four-years-younger sister, Yoko, as she confessed, “I like you in that way.”

Trying to play dumb by asking “What do you mean by ‘that way’?” was pointless since I’d already said, “Family love and romantic love are different.”

“Um, well, Yoko, you’re still a kid, so I think that kind of distinction is hard for you.”

“Hmph! Then I’ll make you understand! I’ll show you I’m serious!”

With that, Yoko’s face turned bright red, as if she were angry, and she kissed me.

“Huh!?”

And she even slipped her tongue in. I was so surprised I almost raised both hands, but I didn’t know what to do. If I tried to push her away forcefully, our teeth might clash and hurt.

More than that, it tasted kind of like sweet juice, and her tongue and the saliva she was pushing into my mouth were really warm, which was a bit gross.

She kissed me with wet, smacking sounds, and after letting it happen for a while, Yoko finally pulled back, seemingly satisfied. Saliva was dripping all the way to my chin. I felt the same way—ugh, gross.

Yoko’s face looked somewhat dazed, and she was out of breath. I usually breathe through my nose, so it was fine, but does Yoko breathe through her mouth? Now that I think about it, she talks a lot in her sleep.

“Y-You’re not resisting? …D-Don’t you hate it?”

“Huh? Well, it’s fine, I guess.”

It’s Yoko, after all. We used to kiss a lot when we were little, and I’d take care of her when she drooled. She’d even make me eat food she’d already bitten into. It’d be gross now, but if Yoko didn’t do it, I wouldn’t say I hate it.

“O-Oh, I see. Then, um, c-can I do it again?”

“Huh? Umm…”

Does she want to do it again? Hmm, if this is her way of proving she likes me as a lover and not just as family, maybe I shouldn’t accept it. But since I said I don’t hate it, it’d be weird to refuse now. More importantly, does this act really prove romantic feelings?

“Uh, Y-Yoko?”

While I hesitated and didn’t reply right away, Yoko silently reached for my clothes, lifting the hem of my shirt from bottom to top.

Apparently, Yoko’s idea of “making me understand she’s serious” wasn’t just about kissing. It seemed to involve having sex to get the point across. She touched and licked my chest, then started taking off her own clothes too.

When she told me to touch her, she was so sensitive it was almost laughable—just touching her shoulder made her shiver. I actually laughed, but it seems Yoko, as a first-year middle schooler, was already incredibly lewd and had overdeveloped herself. I was taken aback.

Even so, she tried to pull down my pants, so I finally stopped her. I mean, come on, no matter how cute my little sister is or how much I indulge her whims, there’s a limit, right?

“W-Why can’t I!?”

“You’re shaking like crazy, but you’ve got energy, huh? No means no. Anyway, I get that you’ve been eyeing me in a sexual way and that you seriously want to be my lover, not just family. Yeah, I understand. That was your goal, so isn’t that enough?”

“Ugh… W-Well, yeah, but…”

After I picked Yoko up, moved her aside, and dressed her, she calmed down. Honestly, the idea of going that far just to prove you’re serious is messed up. It’s fine because it’s me, but normally, that’s a crime, you know?

Well, Yoko is stronger than you’d expect for her height in short bursts, but I’m over 20 cm taller and stronger, so if I really put my foot down, I can stop her. But if our sizes were reversed, this would be straight-up sexual assault, right?

“I understand how you feel, Yoko. Thank you. But I only see you as my little sister, so I’m sorry.”

“Wha—? B-But I let you go that far!?”

“You forced it, didn’t you? Listen, that’s not something you do right after confessing in the first place. You should reflect on that.”

“Ugh, but you said I couldn’t tell the difference because I’m a kid.”

Yoko pouted, sticking out her lips sulkily. Seeing that unchanged cuteness in my little sister made me steel myself to scold her.

“That’s true. I was wrong to dismiss your feelings lightly just because you’re a kid. I’m sorry. But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to do things like that, right?”

“…S-Sorry. But you didn’t refuse at all, and I, I got excited.”

“Okay, let’s reflect on that.”

“…Yeah. You’re right. The first time should be, um, done properly, after all.”

“Umm, yeah, that’s right.”

She said it while fidgeting.

Well, it’s not exactly that, but even if I said, “Okay, let’s date,” it wouldn’t mean it’s fine to pin me down right then and there, so she’s not wrong, I guess?

“Anyway, let’s move the conversation forward. You like me and want to be my lover, which is why you got mad when I said I was going on a date and ordered me to break up, right?”

“Y-Yeah. So, you’ll break up with her, right?”

While fidgeting and pressing her index fingers together apologetically, Yoko looked up at me with eyes sparkling in expectation. Wait, why would it go that way?

“Um, I just told you I only see you as my little sister, didn’t I?”

“Guh, m-maybe so, but you know it’ll make me feel bad, so break up with her! Even if it’s just a trial with that junior, you said no but she begged you until you reluctantly agreed to try dating, right!?”

Yoko stood up again, shouting excitedly, so I stood too and held her shoulders. If she headbutts me again, I’m done for.

“Like I said before, even if it’s a trial, I don’t exactly dislike Koume. And I’m not going to break up with someone just because my little sister tells me to.”

“…Guh, why!? Why, why, why!? I said I hate it!? Break up with her!”

“Even if I broke up with her, it’s not like I’d date you instead. Give up on me and find a new love, okay?”

I spoke gently, trying to reason with Yoko as she stomped her feet angrily. That kind of attitude really shows she’s just a kid and only feels like a little sister to me.

Even if her love for me is real, since it’s unrequited, I want her to give up normally. If anything, Koume confessing to me was a fine play.

If I stayed single and Yoko’s feelings festered until she grew up, it might not have ended with just a childish tantrum.

“Ugh, that’s impossible! How many years do you think I’ve liked you!?”

“Hmm, 14 years?”

“Why are you adding extra!? I hate you, sis!”

“Okay, okay, then it should be fine if I have a lover, right?”

“Ahhhhh, nooooo! Stupid! Just break up with her! I don’t care if you don’t like me that way! I don’t care if we’re not lovers, but you have to be mine alone!!”

“Whoa, Yoko, hold on.”

Yoko finally dropped to her knees, crying and thrashing around on the spot. She’s acting like a total toddler—not how a middle schooler throws a fit.

I crouched down, grabbed Yoko’s arms, and lifted her up before she could roll away, then laid her on the bed. If she keeps pounding the floor, her hands will hurt.

“Waaaaaah!”

Since rolling around on the bed is fine, I watched over her for a while.

“Ugh… Sniff…”

After throwing the pillow, kicking the comforter, and throwing a full-blown tantrum, Yoko seemed to tire herself out. Grumbling, she pulled the comforter over herself, bundled up, sniffled, and finally stopped crying.

No snot, I hope, but she’s definitely wiping tears. I’ll change the sheets later.

“You’re mean, sis. Your cute little sister is crying because she wants you all to herself, and you won’t break up with your lover. Who’s more important—your lover or your family? You don’t have to be my lover, just be my big sister. I’m still a kid, you know? That junior is older than me, right? You know which one should come first, don’t you?”

Ugh, she’s being way too selfish. She’s using her position as my little sister to say whatever’s convenient for her.

Well, it’s true I still think Yoko is my cute little sister. Her selfishness isn’t new, and even though I was taken aback, she’s family, and I plan to keep cherishing her as my sister.

But if I agree here, even if she says she doesn’t need to be my lover, she’ll probably try to bind me for life.

Right now, I don’t have romantic feelings for Koume, and even if I don’t end up liking her and we break up, I figured I’d fall in love and get married when I’m older and I want to.

“Listen, even if it’s okay for now, eventually, if I really fall for someone, it won’t work that way.”

“But it’s different this time, right!? So, I should come first!? I’ll cry every day until you break up with her!?”

“Whoa.”

Ugh, ugh, ugh, wha—, wha—, so an—noy—ing!!! Annoying! I haven’t seen Yoko this annoying in a long time, and I have no idea how to appease her!

Until now, whenever she was annoying, I’d just give in to whatever she wanted, and since she’d smile happily and look cute, I figured it was fine and it always got resolved, so I really don’t know!

It’s annoying enough to turn down requests from total strangers, but how am I supposed to refuse my own little sister, who lives with me and is so persistent she’ll probably be loud every day.

“See? Please? That junior is just a trial for now, and you don’t have feelings for her, right? So just break up, and let’s shelve this issue until I grow up or you really find someone you like? That’d definitely be easier.”

“Ugh…”

Damn it! As expected of my little sister, she knows I’m wavering because this is way too annoying!

Ugh, but still—even if it’s a trial, I agreed to go on a date, and now I’m breaking up right away? I thought if I accepted, I’d date for about a month. Three days is way too soon. It feels wrong to break it off after agreeing.

“I know you’re kind, sis, so you’d say you can’t cancel because you have plans tomorrow. You can go. But make it the last time. After the date, just say it didn’t feel right and break up. That’d be natural, and you wouldn’t be at fault at all, right?”

Even though she was acting all high-and-mighty giving orders earlier, she seems to have remembered that I’m weak to requests from my cute little sister. Still bundled up like a caterpillar in the comforter, she poked her face out to plead.

“Well, but—”

“If I cry every day, Dad and Mom will definitely ask why. Then it’ll come out, and things will get messy. Maybe we’ll even have to live apart to separate us…”

Hey, hey, little sister! That’s straight-up blackmail now! It’s beyond annoying. I have to make sure it doesn’t happen, no matter how troublesome!

“O-Okay, okay. I’m not seriously in love with her either, so I’ll break up. That’s fine, right?”

“Yeah! I love you, sis!”

“Okay, okay.”

Instantly breaking into a beaming smile, Yoko leaped from the bed and clung to me in a hug. As I patted her head, I thought, I feel bad for Koume, and maybe I should live alone when I start college.

It can’t be helped. I’m surely the one who made my little sister this fearsome and incredibly annoying. I won’t take responsibility to the very end, but while we’re living at home, I guess I have to indulge her.

…She’s rubbing her face against my chest, but after what happened earlier, I can’t help but suspect something—but it’s not that, right? This is just a healthy sisterly skinship, right?