Finding the Shape of Love - Chapter 10

“Good morning, Asahi-senpai.”

Morning. School starts today. I hadn’t forgotten that I was meeting with Koume, my junior and temporary girlfriend. I always board the same train car, though I never knew which number it was. So, I figured I’d contact her after boarding. But as soon as I stepped onto the train, Koume was there to greet me.

“Morning. We met right away, huh?”

“Yes. Hehe, it’s just a coincidence, but it feels fateful, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

She’s a bit pushy, but compared to Yoko’s pushiness yesterday, it’s incredibly cute. I respond with a cheerful smile.

“Haah… Senpai, you look wonderful again today.”

“Eh, r-really? Thank you.”

“Ufufu. Oh, that’s right. How was your little sister, Yoko-chan? After that.”

“Ahh. Well, how should I put it… she’s not a bad kid, but it’s troubling.”

She’s just honest about her desires. Having such strong desires is probably just how she was born. So, I want to think it’s not that Yoko is particularly weak-willed or anything like that. But it’s still a problem, right? After she was so satisfied last night, I’d like to think she won’t come today.

Fortunately, or rather, we didn’t even see each other this morning. I usually leave home earlier anyway, and since I didn’t wake her, she predictably overslept and was hurriedly eating breakfast still in her pajamas as I left.

Honestly, I’m relieved because last night was awkward, but she’ll be there when I get home, won’t she? I’ll try not to think about it too much.

“She’s a middle schooler, so I don’t think she’d do anything strange… but honestly, thinking that a rival in love is right by Senpai’s side makes me anxious. You might think I’m narrow-minded… but since Yoko-chan has romantic feelings for you, even if she’s your sister, I’d be happy if you didn’t do things like hug her or get too close.”

“Y-yeah. I decided not to wake her in the mornings anymore starting today, and I’ll try my best to do that too. It wouldn’t be fair to you, Koume.”

Even though she’s my sister, it must be hard to say, but even if we’re temporary, we are lovers, so it’s probably impossible to ask her not to mind that someone who openly declares they’re in love with me is living with me.

Koume’s worries are perfectly valid, and I feel incredibly sorry about it instead.

I thought that since she’s a middle schooler, it would just be things like hugging, but she’s already casually done deep kisses and things I can’t even tell my parents about.

At first, I just let it slide because she’s my sister, but thinking back now, that was bad, wasn’t it? And yesterday too, even though I just needed to stop her and somehow keep it from becoming a crime, letting her do it right in front of me wasn’t healthy at all.

The more innocent Koume is, the more my stomach hurts with guilt. No, really, I’ll be careful not to let it go any further.

Unaware of my inner turmoil, Koume’s face brightened up at my words, looking genuinely moved. It’s dazzling.

“Senpai…! I know she’s family to you, so I’m sorry, but I’m happy. Honestly, I wish I could live with you too.”

“That’s a bit much, since it’s my family home.”

It’s difficult to move out and live separately from Yoko right now, or to have Koume move in with us. If it were just me and Yoko living together, having someone else live with us would actually be more reassuring than being alone together.

“! …Um, if you were to move out of your family home, would something like that be possible, maybe?”

“Eh, ahh… If I were to get serious, yeah.”

“I did it! Then, I’ll do my best before Senpai graduates!”

“……”

Her proposal, made with a suddenly excited, sparkling expression, made me realize belatedly that living together as lovers would mean cohabitation. Even though I gave a vague answer, seeing Koume’s smiling face as she happily clasped her hands together made my chest feel very tight.

This is bad. More than the fact that I used my sister as material, the guilt over using another girl as material while having Koume is intense. This is tough. Until now, it was basically non-existent 2D characters, so it was fine, but this is really, really awkward.

My masturbation basically involves pretending to be someone who’s feeling good. For example, if a manga character is being done, I pretend to be that character. Yesterday, I pretended to be Yoko, so it was essentially an exciting situation from Yoko’s perspective of being watched by her older sister. So, in a way, I used Yoko as material, or maybe I was the material myself? But that’s no consolation at all. I feel like the level of perversion has increased compared to simply using my sister as material.

From now on, I’ll use Koume as material… no wait, that’s difficult in its own way, since I’ve never used a real-life person as material before. I don’t do it every day either. Ugh, but maybe I should be fair here? No, yeah. I’ll put that on hold.

“Um, Senpai. Would you like to eat lunch together?”

“Mm, sure. I usually go to the cafeteria, but what about you, Koume?”

“Um… actually, I made a lunch box for you too, Asahi-senpai.”

“Eh, for real? Ehh, wow. That’s amazing.”

I was genuinely surprised by something I hadn’t expected at all. Sure, it might be common in manga and stuff, but it’s not normal, right? First of all, what percentage of high schoolers can actually cook properly?

Well, it’s not that I can’t. I can make fried eggs, and I’ve made pancakes from scratch before. But making a lunch box in the busy morning hours requires being quick and efficient, right?

At my house, I just get money to buy lunch at the cafeteria or school store, and even those who bring lunch probably have their parents make it most of the time.

To be confident enough in your cooking to make a lunch box as an appeal to your temporary girlfriend… it must be really good and delicious.

“W-will you eat it?”

“Ah, sorry. I’ll eat it. I want to eat it. More like, I’m seriously super happy.”

I was so surprised I forgot to give a yes/no answer, so I hurriedly replied like that to Koume, who looked a bit anxious. She immediately looked delighted.

…On one hand, a girl who uses someone else’s underwear and even shows it to them, prioritizing her own desires. On the other hand, a girl who makes a lunch box to make me happy. There’s no question about which is better.

This is bad. Because of Yoko’s existence, Koume’s favorability is rising at an insane rate. I don’t know if it would be like this even without Yoko, but I’m feeling like she’s an incredibly good girl at a tremendous speed.

“Ufufu. I’m glad you’re happy. If Asahi-senpai wishes it, I’ll make one for you every day.”

“I’m happy, but that’s going too far.”

“I already make my own anyway, so it’s no trouble. But I’d be worried if my cooking didn’t suit your taste. For today, please try it.”

“Then, yeah. I’m the one who should be asking, please.”

I smiled wryly, wondering who was asking whom, and made the promise with Koume.

○

“Alright, let’s eat.”

“Yes, please.”

The cafeteria is spacious, but it feels awkward to just use it for a lunch box. Since we’re in different grades, using our classrooms would draw attention, so Koume and I are sitting on the emergency stairs, a bit away from the noise. It’s a little dirty, but the courtyard benches were full, so it couldn’t be helped.

Koume handed me the lunch box she brought in a cute drawstring bag. Furthermore, the lunch box inside was wrapped in a cloth, spread out like a furoshiki on her lap, which was just the right size for the situation. What a wonderfully considerate touch.

“Whoa!?”

After clasping my hands together, I opened the lunch box. Inside, on the left half of the rice, there was nori seaweed, and on the right half, there was fried fish, tempura chikuwa, kinpira gobo, and tamagoyaki – a perfect nori bento. And it even came with a sauce container, and the disposable chopsticks were a nice touch too.

“Amazing! It’s like a lunch box you’d buy at a store! Wow, and under the nori, there’s properly placed bonito flakes too!”

I don’t usually buy lunch boxes, but precisely because of that, when I occasionally eat at a bento shop, I often get nori bento. Every shop has it, it’s perfect for checking the taste at a new place, and I simply like it because I don’t eat it often and it’s delicious.

“This is amazing, I really like nori bento, you know? Did I tell you that, Koume?”

“Yes, well. I heard about it before. Since it was a good opportunity, I wanted to show you my skills. I made everything from scratch this morning, so I put a bit of effort into it.”

“K-Koume…”

Don’t you like me a bit too much? It’s almost enough to be off-putting, how much you like me. I don’t feel bad about it at all – on the contrary, I’m kind of happy! Yeah, that’s what love is, right? Wanting to do something for the other person.

“Thank you. I’ll start eating right away.”

First, a bite from the edge of the rice. Wow. The nori even has cuts in it. Wait, is this just regular household-cut nori sheets stacked on top? But it’s easy to eat, and I’m glad.

And now the main event, the white fish fry. Let me add some sauce too. Mmm! Delicious! It’s not freshly fried, but it’s not oily, and the tenderness is deeply satisfying! It’s great with rice too, this is the best!

“It’s delicious! Koume! You’re a genius! If you had a shop, I’d be a regular!”

“Fufu. Thank you. If Asahi-senpai wishes it, I’ll open a shop just for you every day.”

“No, I’d feel really sorry, but I might actually want to ask you to. It’s delicious. Ehh, I’m shocked.”

If someone told me this was made by a professional, I wouldn’t doubt it. Sure, the fish fry, its shape isn’t the shop-style oval but just a regular cut, but that’s it. In fact, since they usually use things like pollock? which you don’t normally get, this is even better than store-bought, right?

“If you have other favorite side dishes, I’ll take requests anytime.”

“Hmm… But still, every day is too much, I’d feel bad. How about once a week or something?”

It’s really delicious, so I don’t want this to be the last time, but precisely because it’s delicious and not half-hearted, making this every single morning must be exhausting, and mentally it would be tough for me too, so I suggest that. Even though we’re still temporary, having her put in so much effort one-sidedly makes me feel guilty. And it costs money too.

“Mm, I’d honestly be happier if it were every day, since it would also be an excuse to be together.”

“Then at least let me pay for the cafeteria meals or something. I really feel bad.”

The fact that she says cute things like ‘excuse’ makes me feel even more sorry. Since we’re dating, having lunch together every day should be nothing. Is she being too earnest?

“That’s a bit… How about this: half the time I make it, and half the time Senpai treats me to the cafeteria? I’d feel bad taking money directly from you too.”

It seems she understood that just accepting my request would be tough for me, so Koume offered that compromise. That way, the expense would be about the same, we’d get to eat together every day, and we could do it without too much pressure.

“Then can we do it that way? There might be days when I’m not free in the morning and can’t do it today, and we don’t have to strictly decide on days or force it to be exactly alternating and fair. I could treat you more often as a kind of payment for the effort, you know? Let’s go with that feeling.”

“Umm, you really don’t have to worry that much, but I like that gentle side of you too, so I understand. Then I won’t bring one tomorrow, but please don’t hesitate to make requests. I want to know Senpai’s preferences.”

Koume smiled brightly. That smile had a slightly mischievous feel to it, and it made my heart skip a beat, somehow.

And so, Koume and I ended up having lunch together every day. It was so delicious that the conversation naturally progressed that way, but I can’t help feeling that the outer moat is being steadily filled in too. Well, I don’t mind it, though.