Finding the Shape of Love - Chapter 1

I’ve never been good at turning people down when they ask me for something. It’s not that I’m particularly kind—I just find refusing to be a hassle. It’s easier to go along with what people say than to get into a back-and-forth.

I dislike heavy things like responsibility, and it’s easier to just go with the flow. That’s all there is to it.

“Um… about your day off tomorrow… would you like to go out together?”

So when my junior, whom I wasn’t particularly close with, confessed to me the day before yesterday, I initially refused, but when she insisted, I agreed to a trial relationship.

“Mmm, sure.”

It’s not like I had any plans for the weekend, and I figured if I refused, she’d just ask for another day anyway, so I accepted.

“! I’m so happy! Thank you!”

My trial girlfriend, Koume Iino, bloomed like a flower as she smiled. Her fluffy hair swayed in the wind, so cute. She must really like me to smile like that.

Thinking that didn’t feel bad. I’ll probably just go with the flow and end up really dating her. But that might not be so bad either, I thought.

We parted at the nearest station. We agreed to work out the details later via smartphone.

Until now, I’d had nothing to do with love or anything like that. I’d been confessed to once before, but that time, I just refused once and that was the end of it. If I hadn’t brushed them off then, would I have felt the same way I do now?

“…Hehe.”

Probably not. It’s because she’s the kind of girl who won’t give up even if I refuse, who wants me that much, that I probably feel this way. Thinking that, well… maybe I’m starting to like her quite a bit too.

Until the day before yesterday, I only knew her last name, but we’ve been eating lunch together, walking home together, and even exchanging little greetings via smartphone. Through things like that, I’ve been gradually getting to know Koume.

By now, I think of her as at least a friend. Will things keep changing from here on out? Thinking that, I even started to feel a little excited.

When I got home, my little sister’s shoes were tossed aside. I lined them up neatly before going inside. My sister, Yoko, just started middle school this year, and with the four-year age gap and my personality, I’m aware I’ve spoiled her quite a bit.

But scolding her is a hassle. She’s well-behaved in public and serious about her studies, so I’ve given up on how she acts at home.

“I’m home, Yoko.”

“Mmm. Welcome back, Sis.”

As I passed through the living room, I called out to Yoko, who was sprawled on the sofa.

Yoko was lounging around still in her uniform. She’d at least taken off her blazer, but her skirt was hitched up and wrinkled.

Even if I told her to go change here, Yoko wouldn’t listen. It’s a pain, but I have to stick with her until she properly changes.

“Yoko, go change first. I’m always telling you, right? Here, I’ll help you, so stand up.”

“You’re so annoying. Fine, fine.”

Yoko furrowed her brows but obediently stood up. Even when told to do something, Yoko rarely gets moving, but when I offer to help, she seems to think she can push it onto me and becomes relatively compliant. This part of her is cute, so even when she acts bossy, I can’t hate her for it.

I picked up the fallen blazer and headed to Yoko’s room. We got separate rooms when I started middle school, but since I’m in Yoko’s room all the time, I led the way inside without hesitation.

“…”

“You’re so rough with your things again.”

Sighing at how Yoko had thrown her bag, I hung the blazer on a hanger. Yoko stood facing me with a sulky expression, arms spread out. It’s not like she’s a dress-up doll.

I unbuttoned her shirt and opened the front. A camisole peeked out from underneath. Pink, childish, and cute.

“Mmm…”

Yoko’s a bit chubby, so she’s been wearing camisoles with built-in cups since earlier than I did, but maybe it’s about time she started wearing proper bras.

“Yoko, don’t you think it’s time you started wearing a bra? Camisoles don’t hold things in place that well, and your nipples might get chafed, right?”

“Gah, Sis, don’t say weird things!”

“It’s not weird. It’s about your body, right? Let me take a quick look.”

“Wh-what!? Stop it! Get out, you pervert!”

When I tried to lift her camisole a bit to look, she shoved me and kicked me out of her room. Isn’t that a bit much to say to your own sister?

I was just worried about my little sister and said something normal. Well, I guess she’s at that age. Maybe I lacked some tact.

No helping it, so I went back to my room to change too. When we got separate rooms after I started middle school, she cried and threw a fit, but now she’s telling me to get out. That’s a little sad.

Ping, my smartphone on the desk made a sound. When I opened it, it was from Koume. My slightly downcast mood lifted.

I changed into loungewear and fiddled with my phone. We finalized our plans for tomorrow. We decided to meet up before lunch, eat, and then go shopping together, just wandering around.

On normal days off, I only go shopping when I need something, and I rarely make firm plans the day before anyway. Just that alone felt different from usual, and somehow, it made me feel a little… excited.

“Sis.”

“Whoa, you scared me. What?”

While I was setting an alarm for tomorrow’s schedule, the door suddenly opened and Yoko came in.

It’s fine, but even though I tell her to knock before entering my room, she’s such a tyrannical little sister.

When I turned around, she was fidgeting unusually.

“Um, hey… tomorrow, about the bra… come with me to buy one.”

“Oh, you decided to get one? Yeah, I’m totally fine with going with you, but would the day after tomorrow work? I have something on tomorrow.”

“Something? What is it? Not that I mind, but I could even go with you for that instead, you know?”

Why does she have to act so condescending? It’s cute, but it’s irritating.

“Tomorrow is a date.”

“Huh? …Huh? Whaaat? A d-date!? With who!?”

I could have just said I was going out with a friend and been vague, but I thought hiding it might be wrong. When I said that, Yoko stared blankly for a moment before rushing up to me and shouting.

Ugh. Maybe I chose the wrong option after all. Precisely because she’s at that age, she overreacted.

“Well, just, it’s with a junior from the same high school. We’re sort of dating now.”

“…Huh? ‘Just’? ‘Sort of’? Isn’t it rude to date someone with such a casual attitude? Break up with them right now.”

I got scolded with a valid argument. Ugh, this middle schooler is so serious.

“Ehh… Well, um, she said even a trial was fine and begged me, and, well, right now I’m not exactly unhappy about it either, like, um, we’ll probably officially date eventually, so you don’t have to say that…”

I made excuses while avoiding her gaze, but for some reason, Yoko leaned in even closer and glared at me. Why am I making excuses to my little sister? I shouldn’t have said anything.

It was just a light feeling of not wanting to lie about Koume, and a tiny bit of vanity wanting to show off a little to my sister, but when it comes to talking seriously, it’s just plain embarrassing.

“…Break up with them right now.”

“Huh? No, were you even listening? I’m taking it seriously for now, and it’s not rude or anything.”

“Shut up! I don’t care about any of that! How dare you get a boyfriend without telling me!”

“Even if you say ‘without telling me’…”

For some reason, Yoko seemed even angrier, coming closer and grabbing my shoulders. Being seated in the chair, my little sister was actually taller than me now.

“Sis is mine!”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are! Sis is mine!”

“Ehh…”

Yoko is in her first year of middle school. We don’t even take baths together anymore, and we’re not as clingy as before, so I thought she’d fully separated from her big sister, but to think she sees me as her possession. We should probably have a proper talk about this.

“Calm down, let’s talk a bit. Okay, let’s move over there.”

“…”

I stood up, pushed Yoko’s shoulders, and sat us down side-by-side on the bed so we could talk calmly. Yoko clung tightly to me. She burrowed under my arm, pressing her face against my chest as she clung forcefully.

Honestly, it’s hard to talk like this, but there’s no helping it. I went along with it, wrapping one arm around Yoko’s waist and lightly tapping her with my fingertips like when I’m putting her to sleep, while speaking to her.

“Yoko, people don’t belong to anyone. Because we’re not objects. I’m happy my cute little sister likes me. But, no matter how close we are, even as family, someday we’ll grow up, leave home, and live separate lives. We’ll get lovers, and someday get married too. Even if I break up with her now like you say, that won’t change.”

“Just stay with me! Forever!”

“You know, it doesn’t feel bad that you’d feel lonely without me—Oof!?”

Just as I raised my head to pat her tear-filled face and soothe her, Yoko stood up and headbutted me in the stomach, pushing me down onto the bed.

“Fuuuuh…”

I carefully exhaled to distract from the pain. No, seriously, she got me right in a sensitive spot; I thought I might throw up. I looked up with tears in my own eyes to see Yoko kneeling over me, looking down.

Here I am trying to gently explain things to her, and she’s such an impossible little sister.

“I! Like Sis!”

“Y-yeah. I like you too, but, you know, romantic love is different from family love.”

“It’s not different!”

Yoko shouted, then slammed her hands down on either side of my face like she was falling on me, bringing her face close. I thought she might headbutt me again, but it seemed she stopped herself at the last moment. She held her position like she was doing a push-up right over me.

“Even if Sis feels that way, I’m, I’m different! I like Sis in… that way!”

“Eh, ehh?”

Even so, she was so close I couldn’t talk calmly, so I was thinking I should make her back off, but then she said something unbelievable and I let out a rather stupid sound.