Everyone Regrets It After My Death - Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Memories

It was a perfectly ordinary nursery rhyme. Almost everyone knew how to sing it; even Gao Sheng had sung it to coax his own child to sleep, so he didn’t find it strange.

But his boss seemed to have changed his mind because of this song.

“Take him to the hospital.”

Gao Sheng couldn’t fathom Yang Lingxuan’s thoughts and didn’t dare speak much, simply answering in a low voice, “Yes, sir.”

All along the way, Yang Lingxuan scrutinized Su Mingran in the passenger seat. He hadn’t suddenly developed a kind heart toward the person beside him; it was because of that song.

Yang Lingxuan withdrew his gaze and looked out the window in a daze, remembering events from many years ago.

When Yang Lingxuan was ten years old, he was kidnapped.

That day, the family driver was a bit late picking him up. Yang Lingxuan had decided to walk to the intersection ahead to buy something when a pair of large hands suddenly smothered his mouth and nose.

When he woke up, he found himself in a vehicle filled with other children just like him.

A strange environment, an eerie van—the children inside were all younger than him, wailing for their “mom and dad.” He alone remained calm, calculating how to save himself.

He thought of many ways and tried many plans, all of which failed. The man who took him had too much counter-reconnaissance experience, and a child’s strength was no match for an adult’s. Even if he managed to escape with great effort, he was quickly caught and brought back.

The consequence of being caught was a savage beating.

Yang Lingxuan didn’t cry or make a fuss, but he refused to submit to the man. His father had told him that a man must never show weakness to the enemy. His defiance resulted in him being locked in a room, starving.

Though only ten, Yang Lingxuan possessed a maturity far beyond his years. He secretly plotted. The man’s goal was to sell the children; if he faked a serious injury or a life-threatening situation, would the man get scared?

He was weighing the possibilities when another boy tapped on the window and whispered: “Xuan-xuan, catch! I brought you a bun!”

This boy was very thin and small, but his eyes were beautiful, and when he smiled, a faint dimple appeared. Even though he risked a beating to deliver food, he refused to leave afterward, huddling by the window to talk to him.

Yang Lingxuan initially didn’t want to engage or eat, but the boy provided him with a wealth of information that rendered his previous escape plans obsolete. The man wasn’t afraid of killing a kidnapped child; the “faking death” route was blocked. Thus, Yang Lingxuan could only take the food the boy gave him and eat it bite by bite.

The boy was called “A-Ran.” He often heard the woman beside the kidnapper call him that.

A-Ran said he had to pretend to be mute, otherwise the man would sell him. He begged Yang Lingxuan not to tell the man. Yang Lingxuan thought A-Ran was a bit foolish for handing over such a secret for no reason, but he kept it.

For a long time, Yang Lingxuan and A-Ran relied on each other to survive.

They were forced to beg on the streets. A-Ran always looked after him, like a rising sun. Whenever Yang Lingxuan felt he couldn’t go on, seeing A-Ran’s smile made him feel he could endure a little longer.

A-Ran was a boy who was very afraid of pain. When he helped the woman and accidentally bumped his knee, he would grimace in agony. Yet every time Yang Lingxuan failed to collect enough money, A-Ran would give all his money to Yang Lingxuan and take the beating himself.

A-Ran was also a very kind-hearted boy. Every time a new child arrived, he would look after them, even though the new children would often betray him for the slightest benefit.

A-Ran liked to stay close to that woman. Yang Lingxuan didn’t like her, but eventually, he had to admire her.

A-Ran was also afraid of the dark. He would toss and turn at night, unable to fall asleep. During those times, Yang Lingxuan loved to sing to him. He only knew one song, “The Firefly” (Chong Er Fei), and A-Ran always teased him, saying his singing sounded like he was reciting scripture.

During those most painful years, Yang Lingxuan only had A-Ran. He was glad he had him.

Later, they escaped. Yang Lingxuan was picked up by his parents, but he refused to leave. By then he was older, a fifteen-year-old boy. He could fight the man off, or even run away on his own, but A-Ran didn’t have his physical strength.

Yang Lingxuan stayed behind for A-Ran, waiting for the perfect moment to escape together. Finally, the chance came. He led A-Ran in a desperate flight, and they finally reached the police station. Everything was getting better, but then they were to be separated.

Yang Lingxuan was utterly unwilling.

Seeing his refusal to leave, his father said to him: “If you don’t go home, that child has to go home too. Would his parents allow him to follow you?”

Yang Lingxuan suddenly realized his father was right. Without the kidnapper, they would never have met; A-Ran would surely miss his own parents.

Separation was inevitable. Yang Lingxuan wrote down his contact information and asked the police to give it to A-Ran. Whether it was ever delivered, he didn’t know. After returning home, he missed A-Ran constantly, waiting for a phone call that never came.

As the days passed, his longing for A-Ran didn’t stop. Yang Lingxuan decided to search for him.

His father asked him why he wanted to find that boy.

Yang Lingxuan didn’t know himself. Perhaps he wanted to know how A-Ran was doing, to see his life after returning home, to see what he looked like grown up, or to ask if he still remembered him.

But for all these years, there was no news of A-Ran. He had vanished into the crowd.

The person was gone, but Yang Lingxuan remembered him vividly. He felt an instinctive goodwill toward anyone or anything connected to A-Ran.

For instance, the unconscious young man in his passenger seat. Because he sang “The Firefly,” Yang Lingxuan changed his mind and sent him to the hospital.

The car drove smoothly. Gao Sheng kept thanking Yang Lingxuan, “President Yang is truly kind-hearted. Good deeds will surely be rewarded!”

Yang Lingxuan closed his eyes and leaned against the headrest, not responding.

As they pulled into the hospital parking lot, Gao Sheng told Yang Lingxuan he would take the man to the emergency room and return immediately.

Yang Lingxuan didn’t even open his eyes. He waved a hand. “No rush.”

“Alright, alright.”

Gao Sheng felt completely relieved and hurried Su Mingran into the hospital. Su Mingran was still in a deep sleep, and the bleeding from his head injury had stopped. Gao Sheng busied himself with the arrangements, even getting a private room for Mingran to rest.

The doctor said Mingran’s condition was somewhat complicated and he needed to stay for observation, insisting that family members be notified. Gao Sheng didn’t know any contact info for the family. He was about to write a note when Su Mingran woke up.

Gao Sheng breathed a sigh of relief. Waking up meant it wasn’t too serious, and he could leave with peace of mind. Before going, he asked caringly, “Does it still hurt? If anything feels wrong, tell the doctor.”

Su Mingran, still in a daze, looked at Gao Sheng blankly.

“Do you remember me? You hit my boss’s car this afternoon, and tonight I saw you faint outside your office building. Do you remember how you fainted?”

Gao Sheng mistakenly thought Mingran was an office worker and that the head injury had happened during the faint.

After a while, Su Mingran regained his senses, realizing he was in a hospital and that the middle-aged man before him had brought him there. He thanked him sincerely, “Thank you.”

Gao Sheng waved his hand. “I’m still on the clock. My boss specifically told me to bring you here. I’ve settled the medical fees for you. Just rest here; I have to get back to work.”

Su Mingran stopped him, asking urgently, “Can you give me a contact number? I will pay you back.”

The medical fees had actually been paid by Yang Lingxuan; he had handed Gao Sheng a credit card before they went inside. Gao Sheng didn’t want to take credit, so after thinking it over, he pulled a business card belonging to his boss from his pocket. “I didn’t pay for it; my boss did. You can contact him later.”

Su Mingran said “Thank you” many times, making Gao Sheng feel quite embarrassed as he hurried out of the ward.

Su Mingran lay back on the bed, clutching the business card. The style was very simple—a hard-shell card with just a name and a phone number.

The name “Yang Lingxuan” reminded him of Xuan-xuan.

Back then, Xuan-xuan was wearing a school uniform with his name on it. Mingran remembered it was a three-character name, but the first two were obscured by stains. He only recognized the last character: “Xuan.”

Xuan-xuan was three years older than him, so he should be twenty-three now. He wondered how he was doing, whether he had become an outstanding adult. Su Mingran drifted into a daze; he hoped Xuan-xuan was happier than he was and had a family that loved him dearly.

Su Mingran rested in the hospital overnight. The next day, he went to see his attending physician. The doctor sent him for scans. After checking the price, Su Mingran went to the relevant department.

The results took a few hours. He returned to the ward to wait. Finally, he was called back to the doctor’s office. The doctor stared at the scans, frowning deeply. “Are you still a student?”

Su Mingran clenched his fists nervously and nodded.

“Is it inconvenient for your family to come, or…?”

Su Mingran shook his head.

In such cases, doctors usually don’t pry. Every patient’s situation is different. “You had a severe head injury before but didn’t seek timely treatment. The condition of your hands is the same. Looking at everything together, the situation is quite serious. You need to stay for observation.”

The doctor flipped through the scans. “Your hands… are you a piano student?”

Su Mingran turned pale and nodded.

The doctor paused for a moment and told him with great regret: “I’m afraid you’ll have to put the piano aside. Your fingers and wrists are severely damaged. You cannot touch any fine, delicate work anymore. Otherwise, the condition will only worsen.”

Half an hour had passed by the time Su Mingran left the office. He had gone in at 2:00 PM, and it wasn’t even 3:00 PM when he came out, yet he felt as though the sky had turned dark.

He returned to his ward numbly. A nurse asked if he needed to extend his stay.

“No need,” Su Mingran said woodenly. He didn’t have enough money for that.

The nurse saw his poor complexion and, knowing a bit about his case from the doctor, offered some encouragement. “It’s okay. Technology is so advanced now; maybe it can be cured in the future.”

“Thank you.”

Su Mingran sat on the bed in a stupor, his mind buzzing.

He used to think he didn’t love the piano that much—that it was just a hobby. He figured if he made money in the future, maybe he’d buy one; if not, he’d just let it go or take a leisure class.

But when the doctor told him he could never play again, his passion for the piano suddenly reached an unprecedented height. The feelings he felt while playing, the hardships he endured to learn, the little bit of pride when he was praised—all of it flooded his mind at once.

It turned out he really loved the piano. He had only suppressed it because of his lack of money. But now… his desire for the piano had to be suppressed forever.

Why was he being tortured like this? What had he done wrong?

Su Mingran asked himself, and he wanted to ask the heavens. Perhaps in his past life, he had committed some heinous crime and was here to atone for it. Otherwise, why was fate so unfair to him?

Lying on the hospital bed, Su Mingran opened his phone and found recordings of the pieces he played while studying under the professor. He listened to them over and over, and before he knew it, his face was wet with tears.