Drunk on Madness - Chapter 65

Li Xiang had not yet awakened when the eunuch delivering the imperial decree arrived at Shaoyang Courtyard. Pearl helped Li Xiang up, and after a quick wash, everyone knelt in the front hall to receive the decree.

Two imperial edicts were announced: one declared that the Crown Prince would marry his principal consort, Chen Minying, in February, and the other elevated Li Xiang to the position of secondary consort.

Li Xiang, with her prominent belly, was assisted to her feet.

After reading the emperor’s decree, Eunuch Li did not forget to admonish her: “The Crown Prince will soon welcome his principal consort. It would be best for the secondary consort to move to her own courtyard promptly. Remaining in the Crown Prince’s Kunning Hall may not be appropriate.”

Li Xiang was momentarily taken aback but managed a strained smile. “Thank you for the reminder, Eunuch Li.” She then signaled to Nanny Liu to offer some silver as a token of gratitude.

After they departed, Li Xiang surveyed her surroundings and let out a bitter, mocking laugh. So, it had happened after all.

Eunuch Li’s words were undoubtedly a warning: the emperor was displeased with Zhou Mingxuan’s excessive closeness to her. The situation had unfolded too abruptly. Li Xiang instructed the palace servants to pack her belongings and prepare to move to Wanxiang Hall in the western quarters.

Zhou Mingxuan dared not return to face Li Xiang, unsure of how to explain the events of the previous night. After sitting alone in Bao’an Hall for a while, a servant informed him that Li Xiang was moving out. Panic seized him, and he rushed back to Shaoyang Courtyard.

By the time he arrived, the place was empty. Zhou Mingxuan stared at the disheveled wardrobe and dressing table. All traces of her presence were gone; only his belongings remained untouched in their original places.

In Wanxiang Hall, the palace servants were busy unpacking.

In the courtyard, Li Xiang sat alone beneath an old cassia tree, gently swaying on a swing. She had fallen in love with this swing when she and Qingyi passed through the courtyard earlier.

Though it couldn’t compare to Shaoyang Courtyard, the scenery here evoked a sense of peaceful detachment and serene beauty in her.

The creaking of the swing, mingled with the occasional chirping of distant birds, offered a temporary escape from the turmoil in her heart.

Zhou Mingxuan was the Crown Prince; it was only a matter of time before he took other consorts. This was precisely why Li Xiang had never dared to give him her whole heart. Though they had been married for three years, she had resisted his affections, fearing this very day would come.

Deep down, she felt conflicted. How could she question him when she herself carried Su Mo’s child? What right did she have to demand his unwavering devotion?

After three years together, it was impossible for Li Xiang not to have developed some genuine feelings for Zhou Mingxuan. She had thought they had a long road ahead, that his affection would wane as she aged, as they faced the seven-year itch, as time eroded his sincerity. She had imagined every possibility except one: that it would happen so soon.

A gentle breeze brushed past, carrying away the tears that welled in her eyes.

The child in her womb seemed to sense her inner turmoil, and a subtle sensation washed over Li Xiang. She gently stroked her belly and whispered, “I’m sorry, I forgot about you. Mama will eat now.”

Having been busy all morning, Li Xiang had not eaten anything. She could endure it, but the child inside her could not. She quickly asked for lotus seed and lily porridge and sat in the courtyard to have her breakfast.

Zhou Mingxuan arrived in haste, breathless. The sight of Li Xiang eating in the courtyard eased his anxiety. He asked for an extra set of bowls and chopsticks and sat down beside her.

Li Xiang ignored his presence, slowly eating her meal. As she lowered her gaze, a dish suddenly appeared in her bowl.

Zhou Mingxuan stared at her intently and said, “This egg roll is quite good. You should try it.”

Li Xiang’s movements while eating stiffened abruptly. Though it was an ordinary remark, it inexplicably led to an impasse.

Stiffly, Li Xiang picked up an egg roll from the plate with her chopsticks. After lifting the food, she paused near her lips, unable to bring herself to eat it no matter what.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she ultimately couldn’t force herself. She set the chopsticks down again and placed the food into a small side dish.

Zhou Mingxuan didn’t press further, and the two maintained a superficial peace.

After the meal, palace attendants gradually brought in several large boxes. Li Xiang found it strange and had them opened, only to discover they were filled with Zhou Mingxuan’s clothes and personal belongings.

Frowning, Li Xiang’s expression turned colder. She had moved alone to Wanxiang Hall precisely to live separately from him. She hadn’t expected him to move his things here as well, what difference did it make from before?

Most importantly, he was about to marry the princess. Putting herself in the princess’s shoes, Li Xiang wouldn’t want to see a concubine living with her husband, as it would only cause discomfort for everyone involved.

Moreover, the emperor disliked the Crown Prince doting solely on her. In the past, Zhou Mingxuan had only had Li Xiang by his side. But now, with his official wife entering the picture, the proper courtesies had to be observed.

She dismissed all the attendants and turned to Zhou Mingxuan, saying, “Let’s live apart for a while. The child will be born soon, and it’s not convenient for me to attend to you.” For now, Li Xiang didn’t want to see him.

Zhou Mingxuan didn’t believe her. They had slept together before and managed just fine. Knowing she was angry with him, he coaxed, “I’m sorry. I failed to keep my promise to you.”

Li Xiang turned away, not letting him see the emotions in her eyes. “I understand. You have your difficulties.”

He was always like this, apologizing and coaxing her just before her heart turned cold, making her soften.

“Give me some time to adjust,” she said. From the day she married him, Li Xiang had known this day would come eventually. She believed she could move past it.

Life wasn’t just about love. She still had her family, Yiyi, Qingqing, and the unborn child in her womb. Li Xiang felt she could endure, staying quietly in the depths of the palace, accompanying them.

After that day, Zhou Mingxuan moved back to Shaoyang Courtyard, though he still came to Wanxiang Hall every evening for dinner. Occasionally, he would ask to stay the night, but Li Xiang always refused.

When they were alone, Li Xiang seldom spoke, often leaving Zhou Mingxuan to talk to himself. She stood there like a statue, her face devoid of any expression or emotion, as if nothing he said mattered to her.

As days passed, their relationship made no progress. Zhou Mingxuan’s patience was slowly wearing thin. The pain of having her right in front of him yet feeling utterly out of reach tormented him, making it hard for him to eat or sleep.

Then, one day, when Zhou Mingxuan came for a meal and saw the Buddhist prayer beads in her hand, a flicker of darkness passed through his pupils.

He studied her emotionlessly for a long while, his face betraying nothing. Picking up his chopsticks, he took a piece of chicken and ate it quietly, then grabbed a wine cup nearby and downed it in one gulp.

When he reached for another dish, his chopsticks abruptly veered off and were flung violently aside.

“Does sharing a meal with me taste like chewing wax to you?” he demanded.

He grabbed her wrist, forcefully stopping her attempt to retreat, then gritted his teeth and leaned in closer.

“Come on, tell me. How much longer will it take for you to accept this?”

Li Xiang couldn’t bear his closeness and instinctively struggled.

The accumulated neglect of recent days finally ignited. Zhou Mingxuan snatched the prayer beads from her hand and smashed them to the ground.

“Or do you plan to become a nun, living without desires or attachments for the rest of your life?”