Drunk on Madness - Chapter 39

The fleeting spring nights made the three-day wedding holiday pass in the blink of an eye. Zhou Mingxuan spent his days at the military camp, and even when busy with important duties at night, he would return to the prince’s residence to stay over. The Prince of Yan, considerate of his recent marriage, specifically assigned Su Mo to take over Zhou Mingxuan’s evening tactical training sessions.

As night fell, stars dotted the sky.

After a grueling round of training, the soldiers’ faces were weary, but their eyes shone with determination.

Gathered around campfires, the soldiers sat or lay in small circles.

“Today’s training was really intense!” A young soldier wiped the sweat from his brow, breaking the silence first.

“Did you know? Just now, I saw our General Heir leave the camp on horseback. That’s why General Su took over the training. With a major battle looming, the heir really doesn’t seem to care much about us.”

An older soldier nearby suddenly spoke up. “What do you know? The heir is newly married, of course he’s going back to be with his wife.” He continued, lowering his voice and making a suggestive gesture with pride, “Back when I first got married and discovered the pleasures of a woman, I couldn’t bear to be apart either. I could go at it all night, this many times.”

The young soldier, unmarried and curious, asked, “What does a woman feel like?”

A nearby squad leader cut off their conversation, patting the young soldier on the shoulder. “When the war’s over, marry a wife, and you’ll find out.”

The squad leader glanced at a few other young, inexperienced faces in the group and added,

“You youngsters, focus on honing your skills. Survive the battlefield, and you’ll have a chance to marry and have children someday. Otherwise, what’s the point of living this life?”

“Who am I talking to? You three, Li Douzi, Wang Mazi, Yang Fu! You’re dragging the whole squad down. After training tomorrow, you’ll run five extra laps to build up your stamina. No food until you finish!”

The three of them immediately deflated. Their daily training was already barely passable, and none of them expected to have their workload increased.

Seeing their dismay, the squad leader spoke earnestly, “If you can’t even handle this little hardship, how do you expect to marry and have kids someday? On the battlefield, the enemy won’t spare you just because you’re young. Time is running out, don’t slack off in training!”

The young soldiers, intimidated by their leader’s stern gaze, quickly promised to train twice as hard from then on.

Su Mo listened to the conversation outside the tent, understanding his adoptive father’s intentions. The thought that he was here training troops just so Zhou Mingxuan could focus on bedding his wife at home reignited his resentment.

His mind conjured images of their intimate entanglement on their wedding night, clinging to each other like inseparable lovers.

He didn’t understand why he cared so much. If not for that day in the treehouse, when she’d rather leave than give Zhou Mingxuan a chance, he wouldn’t have held onto hope for her.

A moment of weakness had cost him a lifetime of regret. He refused to accept it. He could wait. Wait for cracks to form in their relationship. Wait for her to come begging for his help again.

Life was long. He could afford to wait. It was what he owed her.

…

Prince of Yan’s Residence, Agarwood Courtyard

Li Xiang sat alone in the pavilion, lost in thought. She understood Zhou Mingxuan’s domineering behavior in bed these past few days, he wanted her to conceive as soon as possible. She also knew the entire residence was watching her belly.

Li Xiang had been feeling confused these past few days. She no longer resisted intimacy with him as much as before, in fact, she had even grown somewhat addicted to it. This left her bewildered about her feelings for Zhou Mingxuan. If not for the child, she could have waited until he grew tired of her and left on her own. But with a child in the picture, would she still be able to walk away unscathed when the time came?

Before Li Xiang could sort through her thoughts, the sound of footsteps approached from behind. She turned to see Zhou Mingxuan standing there in full military attire.

Surprised, she asked, “Why are you back at the residence so early today?”

Zhou Mingxuan swept her up in his arms and said, “Let’s take a bath together.” Li Xiang’s face flushed as she understood his underlying meaning.

In the hazy steam of the bathroom, her hair was damp, and her chiffon gown clung to her slender figure, now soaked through.

A long, deep kiss left Li Xiang weak and pliant, melting into Zhou Mingxuan’s embrace.

He carried her to the bedroom, his lips trailing kisses along the way. Regaining a sliver of rationality, Li Xiang leaned close to his ear and whispered, “I… I don’t want to have a child right now.”

Zhou Mingxuan, lost in the pleasure of the moment, murmured distractedly, “Xiangxiang, but I really want a child, one that belongs to us.”

Her fingers tightened around the bedsheets. “No, we can’t.”

He pleaded, “Xiangxiang, my dear Xiangxiang, I’ll treat you well… I promise. Next month, I’ll be heading to the battlefield. Who knows how long the war will last? Or if I’ll even survive to see you again…”

“If we have a child, no matter what happens, I’ll be content, no regrets.” His ragged breath against the nape of her neck sent shivers down her spine.

He continued, “If I die in battle… and Su Mo is still alive, I’ll allow you to be with him.”

Li Xiang stiffened. Zhou Mingxuan went on, “We haven’t been married long, there’s no guarantee you’ll conceive. My time is limited, so let’s leave it to fate, alright?”

Late at night, in the military camp, inside Su Mo’s tent.

Su Mo’s jet-black hair spilled like water across the pristine white pillow, creating a stark contrast. One hand gripped the bedsheet with desperate force.

When the cold clarity settled in, it was replaced by endless self-loathing. The thought of the two of them entangled in intimacy at this very moment pierced his heart like a dagger. Su Mo didn’t know how much longer he could endure this torment, when, if ever, he would find release.