Dating Myself - Chapter 52

Jian Yixi couldn’t tell if this was nervousness or something else. She only felt that familiar sense of breathlessness invade her once more. She should have opened her mouth to help her breathing, but she subconsciously pressed her lips tightly together. The loud beating of her heart was drumming in her ears, and her cheeks were faintly burning.

She couldn’t control her shallow breathing, nor could she control her violent heartbeat. She only felt that her palms were damp and hot, as if she were sweating.

She vaguely wondered if wetting An Mu’s nightgown would make her even angrier.

Jian Yixi subconsciously shifted the position of her palm. Her scorching-hot palm rubbed against the fabric, which was silky smooth with a hint of cool numbness, chilling her heart to a pleasant shiver.

When she opened her mouth, her voice was so hoarse that she herself could hardly believe it. Jian Yixi was startled, feeling a shock like a basin of cold water being poured over her head. She couldn’t articulate why, but she just felt that this voice was very inappropriate—it was… just very… very strange…

She quickly cleared her throat, and the heat in her palm seemed to subside a little.

“An Mu… after not seeing you for so many days, I… I especially missed you…”

Saying something nice first certainly couldn’t be wrong.

“If I said anything wrong just now, I apologize to you, I’m sorry… can’t you… can’t you stop being mad?”

Given her sincerity, An Mu should forgive her, right?

An Mu, who had just fallen asleep, opened her eyes slightly with a throbbing headache from being startled, and then closed them again, speechless.

—I want to hit someone.

—Hold back. This is myself, closer than a relative.

“I’m not angry. Go to sleep.”

—False.

She said she wasn’t angry, so she wasn’t angry.

Jian Yixi let out a long sigh of relief: “Then I can rest assured. Today is your birthday, and getting angry is unlucky. You can hit me or scold me, whatever you want, just don’t get upset yourself.”

Jian Yixi spoke with such sincerity that she was almost moved by herself.

Truly, she wasn’t just saying it. If An Mu really hit or scolded her, she wouldn’t get angry. Apart from her adoptive parents, only An Mu could make her willingly take a blow without striking back and take a scolding without talking back.

After saying this, Jian Yixi thought for a moment, feeling that she hadn’t expressed herself completely, and added a few sentences.

“Also, let me clarify: I wasn’t saying that thirty-year-old women are not beautiful or not good. I just wanted to say that the teens are the age of a delicate flower, and too large a difference in age creates a generation gap, both mental and physical, especially the physical one.”

“The older person will relatively leave first, leaving the younger one alone in this world. The thought of it feels so pitiful.”

“Although no one can predict death, and it’s possible for the younger person to go first, in all likelihood, the older person still departs earlier.”

Jian Yixi had originally just wanted to explain that she harbored no disrespect toward older women, but as she spoke, she unconsciously included her own agenda, secretly warning An Mu not to fall for someone older!

Especially a petty person like Chen Han, who loves to gossip and scheme behind people’s backs!

After saying this, fearing that An Mu still didn’t understand, she stressed the point further.

“Chen Han’s age difference with the other person is already so great, which is already unfair to them. If she were to use any despicable means, that would truly be shameless, vulgar, and utterly disgraceful.”

“After all, a teenager is still very innocent and understands nothing, like a blank sheet of paper, while someone at thirty has long since been deeply acquainted with the harshness of society—to put it bluntly, they are a seasoned veteran.”

“If a seasoned veteran attracts a pure, innocent person with personal charm, that’s understandable, and I would absolutely wish them well.”

“But if a seasoned veteran takes advantage of their rich experience to approach an innocent person with ulterior motives, and devises schemes to manipulate them, making them idolize, appreciate, and like her, all to achieve her own unspeakable goals, then that is truly repulsive.”

Jian Yixi felt that her words were very fair and highly convincing. However, unexpectedly, An Mu grabbed the hand she had wrapped around her abdomen and mercilessly tossed it out of the quilt.

“Did you not hear me say I was tired? Go to sleep!”

—Oh, dear. What’s wrong now?

Jian Yixi was bewildered inside the quilt, her abandoned hand suspended in mid-air, feeling lonely, solitary, and cold.

—Did I say something wrong again? I clearly saw that she wasn’t angry just now, so why does she seem even angrier now?

Nonsense! How could I not be angry?

“Taking advantage of rich experience,” “ulterior motives,” “unspeakable goals”…

Everything sounded like it was referring to An Mu herself.

Although An Mu knew Jian Yixi didn’t mean it that way, and An Mu had never intended for Jian Yixi to idolize or appreciate her, the facts still led to this outcome.

An old cucumber painted green, is it?

Although An Mu was furious, the fact was that she was indeed a twenty-eight-year-old soul occupying a teenage girl’s body. This made her speechless with frustration, unable to find the right words to refute. What could be more vexing than being wronged and unable to speak?

Having been reborn, An Mu had long learned to maintain unshakeable emotional stability, but in front of Jian Yixi, she always seemed to unconsciously relax, and her emotions became more prone to fluctuation.

It was better not to dwell on such things; it would only make her angry at herself.

Then again, even though she didn’t want to, she was still being angered by herself—her seventeen-year-old self.

Old cow, old cucumber, seasoned veteran…

The child has grown up, her wings are strong, apologizing on one hand, and irritating people on the other…

She’s really going to drive me to death…

Could she afford a lawyer for this homicide case…

Could she… afford it…

Please… hydrogen… hydrogen…

Hydrogen, Helium… Lithium, Beryllium, Boron…

When spring then… occurs…

If… for the sake of freedom… thus…

Take off clothes first… take off…

Whoo…

She had woken up groggily and was tired from the whole day. An Mu’s mind was muddled, like taking notes when half-asleep: clear and organized at first, becoming more chaotic toward the end, until she no longer knew what nonsense she was thinking.

Sleepiness washed over her like a tide, and An Mu drifted off into a dream while thinking.

The abandoned Jian Yixi wrapped herself pitifully in the quilt, wanting to hug An Mu again to coax her, but she didn’t know how. Maomao’s method had obviously failed, and she didn’t know what step to take next.

She cautiously reached out and tugged at An Mu’s nightgown strap. Before she could speak, An Mu instinctively reached back and scratched, startling Jian Yixi into quickly withdrawing her hand. The finger that had grazed the fragrant shoulder was inexplicably burning hot.

What… what was wrong with her?

It was just her finger brushing a shoulder. Why was her heart beating so fast?

She subconsciously swallowed, not daring to pull that thin strap again, and instead pulled at the back of An Mu’s nightgown.

Her thumb and index finger pinched a tiny bit of fabric and gently tugged.

No one paid attention to her.

Was she angry? Or was she asleep?

If she was angry, she would continue to coax her.

If she was asleep, she wouldn’t disturb her.

Jian Yixi silently and lightly propped herself up and leaned over to look at An Mu’s face.

Uh…

It was too dark. She could only dimly make out the outline, completely unable to determine whether An Mu was asleep or not.

Jian Yixi turned around again, retrieved her phone, lightly pressed the screen to turn it on, and shone the light toward An Mu’s face.

Now she saw clearly…

“What are you doing?!”

An Mu suddenly opened her eyes. After a moment of alertness, she instinctively frowned and tilted her head away to avoid the dazzling light.

That voice was too sharp, and the fleeting look in her eyes was too frigid. Jian Yixi was caught off guard, her heart jumping, and the phone slipped from her grasp, smacking An Mu’s face.

Jian Yixi stammered out in fright: “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I…”

Jian Yixi fumbled and quickly reached out. Before she could touch the phone lying face-down with only a white edge visible, her vision suddenly blurred. An Mu, without any warning, abruptly sat up, grabbed the pillow behind her, and started fiercely beating Jian Yixi!

“Are you going to let me sleep?! Are you going to let me sleep!! Are you going to let me sleep!!!”

Jian Yixi covered her head and pleaded for mercy: “I was wrong, I was wrong! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Don’t be angry, don’t be angry!”

After hitting her ‘N’ times, An Mu finally got rid of some of her morning crankiness. The bedding was rumpled, just like her violently heaving chest. She threw down the pillow, lay down facing away with a cold expression, and at that moment, didn’t care that Jian Yixi had traveled a great distance to see her. All that mattered was that she felt better after the beating.

Jian Yixi, holding her head, cautiously watched An Mu’s back. The corners of her mouth involuntarily curved into a smile.

Being scolded and beaten yet still feeling this happy—in the whole world, perhaps only she, as a normal person, would be like this, excluding perverts?

But she was genuinely happy. It was the first time she had seen An Mu express her emotions so directly, not suppressing them, not keeping silent and slamming the door shut to ignore her, but releasing them freely.

Did being able to make An Mu express herself properly mean that she was different from others?

Jian Yixi didn’t know how she could have such strange thoughts. Logically, she should be reflecting on having annoyed An Mu, but she was just happy and couldn’t control her joyful heart.

What should she do if she was too excited to sleep?

Look at An Mu once, then look again.

Why did An Mu insist on sleeping with her back turned?

She was leaving tomorrow; every second passed was one less second with her. Couldn’t An Mu let her look at her face for two more seconds?

The phone had rolled off to who knows where, but there was a rug on the floor under the bed, so even if it fell, it didn’t matter. Jian Yixi couldn’t be bothered to look for it.

Fearing An Mu would fall asleep again, she quickly said: “An Mu, could you turn around?”

“Why?”

An Mu wasn’t sleepy at all now. She was just confused, wondering why she had suddenly become so childish. Had her heart become naive along with her younger body?

No, that shouldn’t be it. She wasn’t usually like this.

Jian Yixi whispered: “With your back turned, I… I’m scared.”

Jian Yixi didn’t dare say she wanted to look at her face a couple more times; she felt that saying that would sound too strange.

“A strange room, a strange bed, it’s just…”

Before Jian Yixi could rack her brains for a perfect excuse, the sound of the bedding shifting was heard, and An Mu turned around.

“Go to sleep quickly. I’m genuinely tired, and I have an exam tomorrow.”

“Then… then I’ll say one last thing.”

“Say it quickly.”

“Can… can we… can we hold hands?”

Jian Yixi quickly added: “If not, just forget it. I was just saying it casually. Sleep, sleep.”

This string of words, spoken without punctuation, left An Mu feeling helpless and speechless.

“Where is your hand?”

“It’s here!”

Jian Yixi hastily raised her hand, not knowing why she had suddenly suggested holding hands, nor why she was so nervous.

She couldn’t see clearly in the dim light, only the blurred outline of her palm. But this was enough. Her palm suddenly met a soft warmth. An Mu took her hand, their fingers intertwined, and rested their joined hands between them.

Jian Yixi slightly parted her lips, finding it a bit unbelievable. Was this going to be an all-night hand-holding session? She had only intended to hold hands for a moment.

Jian Yixi, having gotten what she wanted, firmly decided not to be cheeky. She obediently pulled the quilt and lay down properly, occasionally lifting her eyelids to glance at An Mu.

Although it was dim and she couldn’t see clearly, knowing that An Mu was lying facing her—she could even feel An Mu’s warm breath on her—Jian Yixi felt an indescribable sensation, similar to… tranquil years, or perhaps… sweet as honey.

How wonderful it would be if this could last forever…

Hoo—hoo—

In less than three minutes, Jian Yixi fell asleep.

An Mu, having been awakened twice in a row, her long eyelashes slightly trembling, looked up at her. In the darkness, Jian Yixi was sleeping sweetly with her mouth slightly open, oblivious to the trouble she had caused.

An Mu shifted her body to lie flat, intending to release Jian Yixi’s hand, but Jian Yixi was gripping too tightly. She tried twice but couldn’t let go, and any larger movement would surely wake Jian Yixi, so she had to reluctantly give up.

The night was deep and quiet, the only sound the long, steady breathing of Jian Yixi next to her. An Mu closed her eyes and attempted to fall asleep for the third time.

The next morning, it was chaos. Chen Han knocked on the door early, busied herself unwrapping the breakfast she had brought, and hurried An Mu to eat quickly and get to school.

Youth was a blessing. Although she had slept for less than three hours, after washing her face, An Mu still felt refreshed and invigorated.

An Mu’s school wasn’t too far, but it wasn’t close either. She rode her bike to and from school every day. If all the lights were green, she could get there in about half an hour, but if she was unlucky and hit only red lights, it would take over forty minutes.

During the morning rush hour, a bicycle was faster than a car. Chen Han didn’t call her a taxi. She watched her step into the elevator, smiled, and waved goodbye.

Time was pressing, and there was no time to say anything more. An Mu knew that Jian Yixi was no longer the simple-minded girl she used to be and could handle Chen Han. She simply waved her hand and pressed the first-floor button.

After An Mu left, Jian Yixi returned to the room unhurriedly.

Her train ticket was for past three o’clock in the afternoon. Following her original plan, she unhurriedly took out the leftover ingredients from yesterday. The spareribs needed to thaw, so she first placed the packaged meat into warm water. Then she slowly peeled the garlic to prepare the side ingredients, followed by mixing the batter, cutting the eggplant into chunks, and preparing for deep-frying.

Time was still abundant. After Jian Yixi had prepared all the ingredients and put the spareribs on to stew, she went to the living room and nestled on the sofa.

Chen Han was also preparing ingredients according to her own plan. She was a little slower than Jian Yixi. By the time Jian Yixi had finished her entire cup of coffee, Chen Han had finally finished her preparations and came out, sitting down next to Jian Yixi.