Dating Myself - Chapter 35

Adoptive Father was indeed a simple man, having barely finished elementary school, able to recognize common characters, and couldn’t even recall the multiplication table.

But Adoptive Father truly loved her. When it came to her, he was always cautious and careful. For her future, he even reluctantly handed her over to the Jian family, a child he had raised and cherished for over a decade, simply because the Jian family was richer and her future path would be smoother and broader.

At sixteen, she understood her Adoptive Father’s good intentions, yet she harbored some resentment. She was young then and at the peak of rebellion, though it wasn’t obvious on the surface.

Sixteen-year-old her had the same mentality as most peers: she viewed money like dirt. She believed that her adoptive parents’ act of giving her away for money insulted her and showed a lack of genuine love.

Back then, more than once, she had called her adoptive parents when she was hurt and in pain, complaining that they had pushed her to the Jian family, leading her to her current predicament.

Her adoptive parents had tried to help her transfer schools, but Wen Qiaoyun refused, claiming that graduation was imminent, and she didn’t want the hassle or more people laughing at her.

Her adoptive parents had no guardianship. No matter how anxious they were, it was useless. With her living in the high school dormitory, they didn’t even have the right to enter the school gate to see her. The guards wouldn’t let them in, no matter how much they bowed, begged, and said nice things.

The rare meetings they managed were held secretly, away from Wen Qiaoyun. An Mu still clearly remembered the weary look on her Adoptive Father’s face back then.

It was in a small alley near the school entrance. Adoptive Father stood behind a large banyan tree by the roadside. Adoptive Mother held her hand, wiping away tears with her head bowed, while Adoptive Father smoked incessantly beside them.

The flickering cigarette tip burned, releasing acrid smoke. Adoptive Father’s face, shrouded in the smoke, looked as if he had aged a dozen years, full of wrinkles, drooping eyes that seemed barely open, desolate and fading.

It was from that day until his accidental death that Adoptive Father repeated the same phrase every time he saw her.

【We are not like them. We are just common folk. I shouldn’t have given you back. It’s all my fault.】

Adoptive Father called her one last time before his car accident, saying he had found the evidence to prove he wasn’t a kidnapper and would bring it to her immediately.

Adoptive Father was so excited he forgot it was three in the morning. After hanging up, he remembered and told her to go back to sleep. He and her Adoptive Mother were going to the station to buy tickets.

She had told her father not to rush and to come after dawn, but he said, “It’s fine, I’m not sleepy.”

By then, she had witnessed too much of human nature and could discern the sadness hidden in her father’s words.

Adoptive Father carried a deep sense of guilt, ashamed that he hadn’t protected her, hadn’t become the strong mountain she could rely on, but had instead pushed her into a bottomless abyss.

The next time she saw her father, he was dead. The police handling the scene said he died with his eyes open, staring toward the end of the road, as if he had an unfulfilled wish, unable to rest in peace.

She knew. Adoptive Father was worried about her.

Years later, reborn, she was surprised to hear the same phrase again, so much earlier this time.

“You’re a rich person. Xi Xi is just common folk. You two are fundamentally not the same kind of people.”

For a moment, she even suspected they had retained their memories from the previous life. Otherwise, why would they suddenly say such a thing?

But she quickly dismissed the idea.

If they had retained their memories, they would never have returned her to the Jian family. They would have fought with everything they had to protect her, at least until she turned eighteen and no longer needed a guardian’s control.

If not retained memory, then it could only be Jian Yihu’s manipulation.

What exactly did Jian Yihu say to scare Adoptive Father into losing his footing and breaking his leg?

An Mu wasn’t in a hurry to ask. She had more important things to say.

“Uncle, do you think I’m a bad person?”

Adoptive Father shook his head. “There are no absolute good people in this world, and no absolute bad people. There are only relative ones. Like, even a fierce tiger won’t eat its cub. To a cow or a sheep, that tiger is absolutely no good, but to its own baby, it is good.”

This was Adoptive Father’s consistent teaching style. She had grown up with such rough-but-true wisdom.

“Uncle is right. There are no absolute good or bad people, only relative ones. Compared to Wen Qiaoyun and Jian Yihu, I’m definitely a bad one. But compared to Jian Yixi… I believe Jian Yixi has told you everything that has happened before. Uncle, do you think I am bad compared to her as well?”

Adoptive Father leaned back, sitting further up. The bandage on his suspended leg shifted slightly, and An Mu naturally got up to pull it straight.

Adoptive Father watched her composed manner and sighed softly.

“You are indeed good to Xi Xi. But being good isn’t enough. You are not in the same circle. As the old saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. The schemes and tricks of you rich people are useless for an ordinary person like her to learn. And I don’t want her getting involved in such messy things anymore.

Of course, I’m not saying you’re a bad person! I really am not! It’s just determined by the circle.

Look at the people around us. If someone can’t stand another, they might just yell at each other, or at worst, smash a hole in someone’s head. There aren’t that many twists and turns. Maybe they gossip a little behind their backs, or glare at each other when they meet.

It’s nothing like you rich people, who immediately cause a scene online for the whole world to know. To win, you can’t just rely on being in the right. You also need money to hire those… those ‘Internet trolls,’ and you have to use your brains to scheme and plot. Otherwise, you’ll be wrong even when you’re right.

Don’t tell me that poor people don’t fight online either. That depends on who they’re fighting. Fighting an ordinary person or a regular company is one thing. Fighting truly rich people? They won’t even know how they died.

Can you understand what I’m saying? I guess you probably don’t.

I don’t know how else to make you understand more clearly, so I’ll give you a simple example. Don’t think the example I use is crude. I’m uneducated, so I can’t think of a better one.

Hmm… It’s like this: our family is made up of ordinary villagers. Xi Xi plays with the village kids. Even if they get into a quarrel, they yell at each other, maybe even have a shouting match or a physical fight, and then it’s over. In the future, they just won’t talk to each other.

But what if Xi Xi plays with the daughter of the village tyrant? If she offends that girl, and the girl complains to her father, then our whole family will suffer.

What’s even worse is if the village tyrant’s friend takes a liking to Xi Xi, and Xi Xi doesn’t want him. He could slander her, saying she had slept with him long ago. Xi Xi’s reputation would be ruined, and she’d have no choice but to marry him.

But Xi Xi is just an ordinary village woman. The village tyrant’s friend is an influential person from the city. What hasn’t he seen? Before long, he’d get tired of Xi Xi and abuse her.

Xi Xi wouldn’t be able to divorce him. We wouldn’t be able to reason with him. Finally, we’d call the police, but as soon as we did, he’d get the village tyrant to murder our whole family, and then find a way to cover it up. We’d have to use a huge amount of effort to appeal for justice, and what good would it do anyway when everyone is dead?

This is the consequence of people not being in the same circle, of unequal social standing.

If Xi Xi had never played with the village tyrant’s daughter from the beginning, she would have almost no chance of meeting that influential city person.

Can you understand me now?

Of course, this is just an example. It might not be about being noticed by an influential person. It could be something else, like being laughed at for wearing clothes from a street stall by someone wearing designer brands.

In short, when you’re not in the same circle, there will always be conflicts, big and small. No matter what the conflict, Xi Xi will be the disadvantaged party. She’ll be bullied or feel wronged. She can’t always rely on you to protect her, can she?

You can protect her for a while, but you can’t protect her for a lifetime, right?

Besides, she’s still young. What if she sees too much showing off and trying to keep up with others and goes astray?

So… Uncle means… since you’re not in the same circle, it’s best not to be friends. Xi Xi owes you. Her mother and I have discussed it. We’ll use our life savings, which should be enough to repay the debt.

Tomorrow, I’ll have her mother go with you to Weicheng to transfer the house deed back. Next semester, her mother and I will move there. Whether it’s washing dishes or doing odd jobs, we’ll make sure she finishes high school first. We’ll worry about college after she gets accepted.”

An Mu listened carefully until Adoptive Father finished. Looking at his expectant gaze for her nod, her heart was filled with complex emotions.

Adoptive Father was still the same Adoptive Father, wholeheartedly thinking only of his daughter. But she was no longer the daughter he cared about. She wasn’t even qualified to be a “friend of his daughter.” In his eyes, she had become an adversary, the original sin that might harm his precious daughter.

An Mu lowered her eyes. No matter how accustomed she was to hiding her emotions, she felt a little suppressed now.

Adoptive Father hadn’t changed, and neither had she. But she could no longer enjoy his heartfelt concern, nor did she even have the right to show concern for him.

She didn’t understand. Since Heaven allowed her to be reborn, why didn’t it allow her to be reborn in her own body?

Was Heaven playing a trick on her, or was there a deeper meaning she couldn’t yet comprehend?

Or, perhaps, there was no such thing as Heaven, and everything was merely a coincidence that current science couldn’t explain.

“Uncle… Dad.”

An Mu stared at her white, slightly cold fingers. Her voice was flat, but her eyes were faintly burning. She didn’t want to look up, unwilling for her weakness to be exposed.

Ever since she decided to take revenge on the Jian family in her previous life, she had made up her mind never to shed another tear.

Crying was a sign of weakness. She had been weak long enough and no longer needed such useless sentimentality.

“Yes, you can talk.”

Adoptive Father’s voice held clear remorse. Regardless of everything, she was a benefactor who had greatly helped his daughter—she could even be considered a benefactor to their entire family—even if the help was given with an ulterior motive.

An Mu said, “Uncle’s words make sense, but they are not entirely correct. Different circles are indeed prone to conflicts in values, and they might encounter unpleasant things due to different social circles.

But Uncle, do you want Jian Yixi to be confined to the same circle for the rest of her life?

Just like the example you gave, do you hope Jian Yixi remains a village girl forever, marries a man from the same village, has children, and continues down the same path? With generations following suit?

Besides, can you guarantee that she will be safe and won’t unintentionally run into influential people from the city?

She can choose to stay in her circle, but influential people interact with all sorts of people. They don’t restrict their own circles, because they know that people from any social class might be useful to them. It’s just that the circle they truly care about isn’t yours.

Adoptive Father was silent.

An Mu curled her icy-white fingertips resting on her knee, still not looking up. Her voice was as calm as a deep valley spring, with scarcely a ripple.

“I think one thing Uncle said earlier is very true: I can protect her for a while, but not for a lifetime. The same goes for Uncle.

Uncle keeps saying she’s common folk and fears she’ll be bullied. He thinks it’s better for her to interact with friends who are also common folk.

That idea is correct in a certain sense. Compared to those who spend a fortune sending their children to prestigious schools to mingle with higher social classes, only to find that the children can’t integrate, Uncle’s idea is much better.

But Uncle, why haven’t you considered why she can’t become someone others want to connect with?

Her academic performance is excellent. It’s possible for her to get into a good university, find a good job, or even start her own business from scratch.

How can you be so certain that she will always remain in her current circle?

Student life is relatively the most beautiful time without social divisions. Making friends with like-minded people, learning from each other’s strengths, and thereby improving oneself—isn’t that a wonderful thing?

Jian Yixi suffered because she was too naive, and that has little to do with social circles.

If Uncle truly cares about her, he shouldn’t be sheltering her under his wings. He should let her learn to fly on her own. Not flying within this small patch of woods under your nose, but letting her strive to fly towards the wider sky.

Don’t worry that an eagle will peck out her eyes. No one reaches the top without experiencing hardship.

One day, you will find that she is not some little skylark. She is the eagle that soars through the heavens. She won’t need you to nervously protect her. She’ll even be able to spread her wings and bring all of you under her protection.

What I’m saying might sound hollow and unfounded to Uncle. But you should remember that incident, shouldn’t you?

How did Jian Yixi escape the Jian family? She used her own intelligence. She recorded videos, reported to the police, negotiated—she seized the opportunity for herself.

Is this still the daughter you knew, the one who only cried when her exam ticket was lost? Why was she able to grow up so quickly in just a few days? Has Uncle thought about that?”

Before Adoptive Father could answer, the hospital room door opened, and Jian Yixi and Adoptive Mother returned.

An Mu stood up and looked, meeting Jian Yixi’s soft, dark eyes.

Jian Yixi blinked instinctively, unnaturally shifting her gaze as she walked to the bedside with her mother.

“Dad, An Mu and I will go out to grab some food, I’ll arrange a hotel for An Mu to stay, and then I’ll come back. I’ll stay the night, and Mom can go back to rest.”

Adoptive Father was still immersed in An Mu’s last question and delayed for a second before looking up.

“What? You’ll stay the night?”

Adoptive Father immediately waved his hand. “Forget it, it’s inconvenient. It’s better for your mother to stay here. You and An Mu hurry up and eat. Go back to our house to sleep. Keep an eye on the door, too. The house being empty at night worries me.”

Adoptive Mother looked at An Mu, then at Adoptive Father, moving her lips as if to speak, but saying nothing.

“Then… then you two go back. Come back tomorrow morning.”

“We’re going back then.”

Jian Yixi didn’t stop for a second, pushing An Mu toward the ward door. An Mu held the doorknob, pausing before turning back to her Adoptive Father. “Uncle, think carefully about what I just said, especially… Jian Yixi carries the surname Jian. It is already determined. No matter how much you try to draw boundaries, some people won’t let her go.”

Adoptive Father looked up, a hint of shock showing on his dark, tanned face.

The two walked out of the hospital. Jian Yixi quickened her pace and linked her arm through An Mu’s.

“What did my dad say to you?”

“Nothing much. He’s just worried about you being bullied.”

It was past ten o’clock at night. The small county town was deserted, with hardly a soul in sight. The sound of their footsteps was swallowed by the empty road, leaving only the occasional whoosh of passing cars.

Jian Yixi bit her lip, her voice soft and desolate.

“My… my mom told me that my dad fell after taking a call from Jian Yihu.”

“What did Jian Yihu say?”

“Jian Yihu said… that you’re using me, and you’re still using me now. She said your family went bankrupt abroad, and the last of your capital is in your account.

She also said you have your eyes on the Jian family’s business. Your parents want to get into this line of work, but your money isn’t enough to take over the Jian family company. So, you instructed yourself to get close to me, first by using me to ruin her reputation, then by getting my biological father thrown in prison. The next step is to deal with my biological mother. When the company loses its leaders, you’ll buy the company at the lowest price, and then…”

“And then what?”

Jian Yixi stammered, whispering, “And then you’ll kick me away when I’m no longer useful. And not just a normal breakup. Because I’m also a Jian family member, to ensure the company smoothly lands in your hands, you’ll have me imprisoned.”

“I’d have you imprisoned?”

Jian Yixi nodded. “My parents didn’t believe it at first, but Jian Yihu said, if it wasn’t a conspiracy, who would casually add another person’s name to their house deed? The purchase contract was signed, making the property half-and-half, which is legally binding. That’s hundreds of thousands of yuan of real money, especially since… we had only known each other for a few days at the time.”

Analyzed this way, anyone would find it suspicious. Even a rich second-generation chasing a girlfriend would have a purpose for adding a name to a deed. No one would be that foolish without some benefit, and in An Mu’s case, there was no tangible benefit whatsoever.

“So your parents believed it?”

Jian Yixi secretly glanced at her. Seeing that she didn’t seem angry, she relaxed slightly and continued.

“My parents are honest people. Jian Yihu scared them, saying she had already figured out your plan, and that you added my name to the deed so you could accuse me of fraud when the time was right.”

Even without Jian Yixi saying it, An Mu had vaguely guessed this direction. She wasn’t angry, only feeling a subtle bitterness.

Her Adoptive Parents were still alive, but they were no longer her Adoptive Parents.

They were not wrong, and she would not change her original intention, but… it was still a little sad.

Perhaps… she was just being greedy.

The tree desires stillness, but the wind keeps blowing. The child desires to care for the parents, but they are gone.

Even if she was no longer the treasure they held in their hands, at least they were still here.

An Mu gently tilted her head back, suppressing the faint heat in her eyes, and joked lightly.

“So that saying is really true: it’s hard to be a good person these days.”

Jian Yixi looked up in a panic, holding her arm even tighter.

“My parents don’t actually not trust you. They’re just being cautious. Deep down, they’re still very grateful to you. And me! I absolutely believe you! No matter what my parents say, I would never cut ties with you!”

The streetlights were dim, the plane trees were bare, and the night wind swept past with a biting chill. Jian Yixi wore a hooded down jacket, looking up at her. The creamy-white fur edge of the hood fluttered in the wind. The faint circle of light gathered around her eyes and brows, and the fingertips clinging to her sleeve trembled slightly, as if she feared An Mu wouldn’t believe her.

A trace of warmth faintly flowed through her bitter heart. An Mu smiled slightly. “I believe you, and I believe your parents.”

Receiving the desired answer, Jian Yixi lowered her head dejectedly, showing no joy, only a sense of loss.

An Mu said, “You don’t have to worry too much. This matter is actually easy to solve. Just transfer the house back. As long as your residency doesn’t change, it won’t affect your college entrance exam, and your parents can be at ease.”

Jian Yixi looked up at her, then quickly lowered her head again, her voice slightly choked with a nasal sound.

“You’re always like this… you think of everything for me, and you never talk about the wrongs you’ve suffered.”

An Mu was slightly stunned.

How did she get that misconception about her? Reborn, she wouldn’t wrong anyone but herself.

Jian Yixi took a deep breath, suddenly stopping. She pulled An Mu around so they were facing each other, looking up at her very solemnly.

“What I’m about to say is very, very serious. You listen carefully!”

“Okay, go ahead.”

Jian Yixi lifted her small face, speaking firmly, word by word, with strength.

“I! Jian Yixi! Am telling you, An Mu, very seriously! I will absolutely convince my parents to trust and accept you from the bottom of their hearts! To treat you just like their own daughter!”

Own… daughter…

Looking at Jian Yixi’s childish demeanor, An Mu’s expression softened a bit more.

“Then I’ll also tell you very seriously that I truly believe you, and I believe your parents, especially your dad.”

Jian Yixi’s eyes widened slightly. “Why especially my dad? What exactly did my dad say to you?”

An Mu pulled her hand and continued walking forward.

“Your dad was very direct in asking if I approached you with an ulterior motive. He was also very direct in telling me he wanted to transfer the house back to me. And he was very direct in giving me examples and reasons, hoping I would break off contact with you.

That he could be so direct, without any beating around the bush, is a sign of trust, even though he was trying to warn me that they knew I might have ulterior motives.

If they truly thought I would harm you, they would definitely have handled this in a much more cautious way, not so hastily to tip their hand.”

Hearing the first part, Jian Yixi’s face instantly went pale. Upon hearing the latter part, the blood rushed back into her ashen face.

“You almost scared me to death, An Mu! I thought my dad spoke harshly and forced you to break off contact with me.”

—Though he didn’t exactly force it, he definitely wanted us to cut ties.

“In any case, I believe you, and I believe your parents. Once the house is transferred back, they won’t have anything to worry about. The only one we need to guard against is Jian Yihu, but her threat is minimal now. As long as your parents are aware, everything will be fine.”

Jian Yixi nodded heavily.

“I will work hard to make my parents accept you. Everything I just said counts. If they really don’t accept you, I will absolutely not break up with you! Absolutely, absolutely!”

—Only immature children use such certain phrasing.

An Mu couldn’t help but smile, joking casually.

“The way you say that, it sounds like two young lovers about to have their Mandarin Ducks separated by a stick.”