Dating Myself - Chapter 29

An Mu saw the heavy backpack on Jian Yixi’s back and, without a word, took it off for her. The backpack was incredibly heavy, filled with many books. It was so heavy that An Mu had to use both hands to put it on the shoe cabinet. The straps were sturdy; otherwise, they would have broken.

Jian Yixi leaned against the door frame, trying to enter the house. She explained weakly, “I won’t bother you for too long. I’ll move out as soon as I find a cheap place. I…”

An Mu frowned, pushing her back out. Jian Yixi stumbled, leaning against the door frame. She looked at An Mu, at a loss, as if she didn’t expect her to stop her from coming in.

“Are you… angry?”

An Mu didn’t respond. She pushed her a little further out and stepped out herself, closing the door with a loud bang. Jian Yixi was so disoriented from the fever that all her energy had been spent dealing with Wen Qiaoyun and her family. Her mind was a complete mess. She might have been able to answer what 1+1 was, but if you asked her what 9 x 8 was, she would have to recite the multiplication table from the beginning to figure it out.

Even in this dazed state, she could tell An Mu was unhappy. She thought she was being too presumptuous. An Mu was helping her because she was a good person. How could she be so shameless as to intrude on her home, thinking An Mu needed her rent money? An Mu knew that’s what Jian Yixi was thinking.

Sure enough, Jian Yixi began to apologize. “I’m sorry… for coming uninvited… and in the middle of the night… I… I’ll leave now.”

Jian Yixi’s face was flushed. Anyone who knew she had a fever would understand, but to someone who didn’t, she looked embarrassed. She lowered her head, thinking she was a burden, and turned to leave. Then, she seemed to remember something and turned back, about to speak, when An Mu wrapped an arm around her shoulder and, with a cold expression, half-pushed and half-supported her toward the elevator. Jian Yixi was disoriented and a bit slow to react.

“My backpack…”

How can you still think about your backpack when you’re this sick?!

An Mu glared at her. It must have been a fierce look because Jian Yixi swallowed the rest of her words. An Mu was angry and didn’t want to talk, but seeing how dazed she was, she figured Jian Yixi might genuinely think she was being kicked out.

An Mu said two words in a cold, exasperated tone: “IV drip.”

Even with the answer given, it took Jian Yixi a second to realize she wasn’t being sent away. She finally relaxed completely. She was so uncomfortable that the moment she let her guard down, she leaned on An Mu’s shoulder and closed her eyes. Opening them again, the world was spinning. Jian Yixi’s head was heavy, her feet were light, and her legs wouldn’t obey her. She almost fell down the two or three steps at the apartment building’s entrance. An Mu stumbled, but her quick reaction allowed her to grab Jian Yixi and quickly carry her down the steps, stabilizing herself.

Jian Yixi covered her mouth and gestured for An Mu to let her go. She squatted down and dry-heaved. Her stomach was empty, so she didn’t even throw up sour water. Her whole body was limp. She swayed from side to side like she was drunk, almost sitting on the ground.

An Mu was already angry, but now she was furious. You’re this sick, and you’re not getting an IV? What were you thinking, just sleeping it off at home? Did you think you would just get better on your own?

The angrier An Mu got, the more expressionless her face became, and her voice was a sharp as ice. “Can you still walk?”

Jian Yixi tried to stand up by pressing on her knees, but she swayed and would have fallen if An Mu hadn’t grabbed her. She looked up at An Mu and laughed foolishly. She mumbled an explanation, unsure if she was embarrassed or afraid An Mu would misunderstand her. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I could walk just a second ago. How did I… get so dizzy? I… I didn’t do it on purpose.”

Of course you’re dizzier if you squat down and then stand back up. Don’t you know simple things like that?

Maybe she didn’t forget; the fever just made her forget. Even in her dazed state, Jian Yixi knew An Mu was angry. She struggled to get up again. An Mu, exasperated, took her arms, wrapped them around her neck, and bent down to carry her on her back. She gritted her teeth and adjusted Jian Yixi’s position on her back, stumbling slightly before getting a firm grip.

Jian Yixi’s reflexes were completely fried. She had been on An Mu’s back for over ten meters before she realized what was happening. She struggled, making An Mu even angrier. If she had a free hand, she would have spanked her to make her stay still. She was already heavy enough to carry, so she didn’t need any more trouble.

“Don’t move!”

“I’m too heavy. Put me down.”

“I said, don’t move!”

The raised voice was sharp and seemed to be amplified in the quiet, dark neighborhood, making it even more menacing. It instantly stopped Jian Yixi’s struggling. Jian Yixi stayed still on An Mu’s back for a while, as if she had been frightened. An Mu regretted shouting at her, but she was still angry. Even if she felt bad about being so loud, she wasn’t going to apologize to her sixteen-year-old self.

She couldn’t let Jian Yixi get away with this. Nothing was more important than her health. If she got seriously ill, wouldn’t her adoptive parents be the ones who hurt the most? She claimed she wanted to protect them, but she couldn’t even take care of herself. How could she protect them? With her sickly, kitten-like behavior?

An Mu ignored Jian Yixi and walked with purpose. Jian Yixi was still small, not as tall as her, with a light frame. As long as she stayed still, carrying her wasn’t too tiring.

The dense plane trees cast shadows over them, and the heavy sound of their footsteps echoed behind them. Jian Yixi’s head, which had been lifted, slowly drooped. The arms wrapped around An Mu’s neck tightened, and the hot breath on the back of her neck was hot and muffled, the tone strange.

“I feel like… I’m always bothering you.”

“If you know that, then be good.”

An Mu didn’t acknowledge her apology. She was annoyed, an emotion she hadn’t felt in many years. Jian Yixi’s back was like a furnace, scorching hot, and An Mu could feel the burning heat through her clothes. Her temperature was already over 39°C yesterday; today, it was definitely over 40°C. For anyone, whether an adult or a child, 40°C is a dangerous number. A high fever can cause brain damage. An Mu just wanted to get to the hospital as soon as possible.

“But I’m so happy…”

Happy when you’re this sick? You’re definitely delirious.

“The angrier you are, the happier I am…”

Heh! She’s not just sick; her brain is gone.

“You’ve never been so mean to me before…”

We’ve only known each other for five days.

“I know… the angrier you are, the more you care about me…”

I only care because I’m worried about your adoptive parents.

“Thank you, An Mu… Thank you…”

Don’t thank me. I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for…

A hot, wet sensation on the back of her neck stopped An Mu’s thoughts. She turned her head to look at Jian Yixi but could only see her messy hair and a small part of her ear, which was red from the fever. Jian Yixi’s narrow back trembled slightly with suppressed sobs. Her crying dispelled An Mu’s annoyance and brought a strange emotion to her heart. She couldn’t tell what it was, but she felt as if something was breaking through her hardened heart. Her breath even tasted a little sour.

It was just past one in the morning, which wasn’t too late, but they were unlucky and couldn’t find a single taxi. An Mu considered walking along the road toward the hospital. She had a feeling she would eventually find a taxi. As it turned out, she was right. Just as she was walking around a corner near the hospital, a taxi drove past, honking its horn. An Mu didn’t even spare it a glance and walked straight into the hospital.

Jian Yixi had stopped crying. An Mu didn’t know if she was asleep or had passed out, but she was unconscious. Her high fever and the long walk had made An Mu sweat profusely. She finally got to the IV room, put Jian Yixi on an empty bed, and rushed to find a doctor without even wiping her sweat. The doctor took Jian Yixi’s temperature, checked her medication list, and prescribed a fever-reducing shot. An Mu rushed to the nurse’s station with the prescription and gave them Jian Yixi’s name.

The nurse yawned, searched for a while, and found Jian Yixi’s chart. She scolded An Mu, “Why did you come so late? The medication’s effects are already wearing off. Don’t be late again tomorrow.”

“Yes, we’ll be here early tomorrow.”

The nurse followed An Mu to the bed with a tray of medication. She pulled the light blue curtain all the way around, shielding Jian Yixi from view. Jian Yixi was still unconscious, her body limp from the fever. Her arms and legs were so soft they felt like they would melt.

The nurse took the syringe and drew the medication. She pushed the air out of the needle and said, “Turn her over and take her pants off.”

Pants…

Even though it was her sixteen-year-old self, it was still herself. An Mu had no problem with it. She carefully turned Jian Yixi on her side, unbuttoned her jeans, and pulled them down. The pants were skinny jeans and a bit tight. She couldn’t pull them down to a place the nurse was happy with.

“A little faster. She has a high fever. We need to get the IV started quickly.”

The nurse was urging her. An Mu decisively put Jian Yixi on her back again, grabbed the sides of her pants, and pulled them down, leaving only her white lace underwear. She then turned Jian Yixi on her side again. The soft underwear was easy to pull down, and with a gentle tug, it was in a position the nurse was happy with.

“Hold her still. I’m going to inject her.”

The cold, long needle was inserted into her defenseless skin. The nurse injected the medicine quickly, took it out, and gave An Mu a cotton swab to hold on the injection site. “Press it for a while until it stops bleeding, and then throw it away.”

After giving her instructions, the nurse took the tray to prepare the IV drip, leaving An Mu in the curtained area. She held Jian Yixi’s pants with one hand and the cotton swab with the other. An Mu first focused on the cotton swab. After a while, she saw no blood and relaxed. Her eyes wandered, and she realized how much her sixteen-year-old self looked healthy. Her skin was fair and supple, as if she was bursting with energy. She didn’t look like her twenty-eight-year-old self, who had breast pain, sciatica, a cold body, low blood sugar, and low blood pressure. She felt dizzy and nauseous every morning, and her skin was an unhealthy pale color.

Being young is great. Everything is still possible.

An Mu’s mind wandered. She saw a black dot on Jian Yixi’s tailbone and instinctively dabbed at it. It didn’t come off. She dabbed at it again. It still didn’t come off. It’s not dirt. Is it a mole? Did I have a mole there?

She couldn’t see her own back. An Mu had no idea she had a mole there. She threw away the cotton swab, leaned down, and looked closely at the tailbone. She dabbed at it again with her thumb. It was a mole, a tiny black dot like a sesame seed. The feeling was a bit strange, but An Mu was past the age of being curious about everything. She looked at it for a few seconds and then looked up to pull Jian Yixi’s pants back up, only to see a completely flushed face looking back at her.

An Mu paused. “Are you awake?” She reached out and touched Jian Yixi’s forehead and face. “You don’t feel as hot as before. Why do you look even redder?”

Jian Yixi’s dry lips were stuck together from the fever. She used some effort to open her mouth, her voice hoarse and a little husky. “Did I… just get an injection?”

“Yes,” An Mu said, remembering how sensitive she was to pain. “Did it wake you up?”

Jian Yixi mumbled, “Mm-hmm,” and struggled to turn over to pull up her pants herself. It wasn’t clear if it was just her imagination, but she seemed to avoid looking at An Mu.

“I… I want… to use the restroom.”

“I’ll help you.”

Fever can easily cause dehydration. Not wanting to use the restroom is an early sign. It was a good thing that Jian Yixi wanted to go; at least it meant she wasn’t dehydrated yet. An Mu helped her out of bed and into the restroom. She waited outside the stall in case Jian Yixi was too weak to stand. After waiting for a while, she didn’t hear anything. Jian Yixi struggled and came out.

“Why… did you come out already?”

Jian Yixi froze for a moment. She didn’t expect An Mu to ask that question. She looked back at her with a complex expression. “I… I should… get my IV. Let’s go.”

An Mu frowned and helped her out. The burning heat of Jian Yixi’s body made her realize something. Could it be that she wanted to use the restroom because I touched her tailbone? It had a scientific basis. Since Jian Yixi had a high fever, An Mu’s hands were cold in comparison, so the effect would be more noticeable. Even with this kind of physical stimulation, she couldn’t urinate normally. Had Jian Yixi not had anything to drink all day? That saying was true; “those who deserve pity have something hateful about them.” Not drinking water when you have a fever is just a self-inflicted wound.

An Mu glanced at Jian Yixi, who lowered her eyes and shuffled her feet. Her lips were pursed, and she snuck a peek at An Mu before quickly looking away again. The tips of her ears were red.

An Mu was just giving me a shot. Why did she touch me there? What was she touching? Should I ask her? No, no, I shouldn’t. Maybe she just saw that I was dirty and was trying to wipe it off. It would be too awkward if I asked. But who would wipe a spot like that? If you saw something on someone’s pants, you would just tell them, right? Besides, this wasn’t pants… Even if she didn’t know I was awake, she should have at least used a tissue. It just feels weird. Should I ask or not?

Jian Yixi’s mind was racing until the nurse came with the IV drip. Her scalp tingled, and she forgot everything else as she watched the nurse nervously. The IV needle was mercilessly inserted into her vein, and the liquid started to flow. Jian Yixi’s condition seemed to improve. An Mu let out a sigh of relief. She asked the nurse for a disposable cup, got some hot water, and blew on it to cool it down.

The IV room was empty in the middle of the night. There were only a few patients with urgent conditions. Some were lying in bed, and others were sitting in IV chairs, playing on their phones. An Mu didn’t cover Jian Yixi with a blanket, leaving her exposed to cool down.

The water wasn’t too hot anymore. An Mu helped Jian Yixi sit up against the headboard and put the cup in her hand. “Take small, slow sips.” Drinking hot water is essential for a fever. First, it replenishes lost fluids. Second, it promotes sweating. Third… when you have a fever, lukewarm water can feel like cold water, which can cause diarrhea. The water temperature needs to be adjusted according to the body temperature. This was something An Mu’s adoptive mother had taught her. An Mu remembered, and so did Jian Yixi.

Jian Yixi held the hot water cup, took a small sip, and, without looking up, said in a hoarse voice, “Do you know the joke about the ‘straight man’?”

“When his girlfriend has a fever, the ‘straight man’ tells her to drink more hot water. When his girlfriend is on her period, the ‘straight man’ also tells her to drink more hot water.”

“I’ve heard it. What about it?”

Jian Yixi buried her head even lower. Her messy hair covered her face, and she didn’t bother to fix it. Her long eyelashes hid the emotion in her eyes. “I don’t think… that’s a joke at all. Who says hot water is a sign of not caring?”

Jian Yixi seemed to be angry at something and chugged the water. It was so hot that she had to stick her tongue out, but she kept drinking. She finished the whole cup in one go and placed it on the nightstand with a thud.

“Slow down. Be careful not to dislodge the needle.”

An Mu reached out to grab her arm, afraid she would put pressure on the IV tube. Plop. A drop of liquid suddenly fell from the air and landed on the back of her hand, scalding hot with the fever.

It was just a cup of hot water. Why are you crying again?

An Mu stared at the splashed tear for a few seconds. She helped Jian Yixi lie back down, took out the hospital form, and carefully folded it into a paper crane with a barcode on its wing. She took Jian Yixi’s hand, placed the paper crane in her palm, curled her fingers around it, held her hands up, and closed her eyes to make a wish.

“I hope Jian Yixi gets better soon, both physically and mentally. If this wish comes true, I promise to fold one thousand paper cranes to make it happen.”

Jian Yixi looked at her with red eyes and couldn’t help but laugh through her tears. “You’re silly. Elementary school kids don’t even believe in that anymore.”

An Mu’s eyes were gentle. She smiled slightly and said, “It’s not about whether you believe it or not. What’s important is that you smiled.”

Jian Yixi’s tears lingered in her eyes, but they started to well up again. She lowered her head and wiped her eyes hard. When she looked up again, her eyes were still red with a painful expression, but the smile on her lips was more genuine than before. “You’re more childish than an elementary school kid.”

An Mu didn’t argue. She felt Jian Yixi’s forehead. The medication was starting to work, and with the hot water she had just chugged, a thin layer of sweat was starting to appear on her forehead.

An Mu said, “You’re sweating, so you’ll get better soon. My wish has already come true, so it looks like I won’t have to sleep tonight. I have to fold one thousand paper cranes.”

Jian Yixi said, “You can’t fold all of them in one night. It’ll probably take you two days and two nights without eating or sleeping.”

An Mu said, “Then you have to help me.”

Jian Yixi said, “No way. I’m a patient.”

An Mu said, “Then what do I do if I can’t finish them?”

Jian Yixi said, “You just keep folding them. It’s not like you have to finish them all at once. If you fold one a day, it’ll only take a thousand days.”

An Mu said, “How about we fold two a day? We can finish them right before the college entrance exam and make another wish.”

Jian Yixi asked, “What’s the next wish?”

An Mu said, “I hope… I can get into the same university as Jian Yixi.”

Jian Yixi said, “You don’t need a paper crane for that. You can just wish for it with me.”

An Mu said, “Are you sure you can do it? I’m aiming for Tsinghua and Peking University.”

Jian Yixi said, “Who are you looking down on? I won’t go anywhere but Tsinghua and Peking University!”

An Mu said, “Then it’s a deal.”

Jian Yixi said, “It’s a deal.”

An Mu said, “Since it’s a wish for two people, and we’re folding two paper cranes a day, shouldn’t you do your half?”

Jian Yixi said, “So this is what you were waiting for?! You’re so sly, An Mu!”

An Mu said, “So, are you going to fold them?”

Jian Yixi said, “Yes!”