Dating Myself - Chapter 24

It was a good time for Jian Yixi to change schools. The school was applying to be a provincial-sponsored school, so everyone except seniors had the weekend off. This was a Friday, so school was over. An Mu went with Jian Yixi and Xie Maomao. Maomao’s house was in the opposite direction, so she got on her bike and waved goodbye to them. She winked at An Mu and whispered, “I’m looking forward to the show tonight!” An Mu waved back.

Maomao left, and Jian Yixi stood on the side of the road, waiting for her driver. But the familiar car wasn’t there. Jian Yihu had gone home early, so the driver should have been there to pick up Jian Yixi. But An Mu had expected this. She could picture Jian Yihu twisting the truth and crying to her parents. She could also picture her mother, Wen Qiaoyun, angrily calling the driver and telling him not to pick up Jian Yixi.

Since she can go to school by herself, she can find her own way home!

An Mu knew what Wen Qiaoyun was thinking, and so did Jian Yixi, but her thoughts were a little different. She thought that since she had walked to school that morning, her family probably thought she didn’t want to be picked up. Jian Yixi was too nice. She was too kind to Wen Qiaoyun. An Mu knew that the Jian family was a trap, and Jian Yixi would be heartbroken when she went home. But An Mu couldn’t stop her. She had to learn for herself. She had to go through a metamorphosis to be reborn. An Mu could only try to make the process less painful.

Jian Yixi waited for a few moments, then turned to An Mu and smiled apologetically. It had just rained, and the temperature had dropped. Jian Yixi’s nose was red, and she sneezed a few times. “I guess I’ll have to borrow your bike again. The driver isn’t here.”

An Mu immediately took off her jacket to give to her, but Jian Yixi shook her head. “No, you don’t have to. I’ll ride the bike. I’ll warm up soon.” An Mu knew that she wouldn’t wear her jacket if she insisted. She put her jacket back on.

The rain had cleaned the air, and it smelled fresh. An Mu took a deep breath. The road was full of leaves and branches. Jian Yixi rode carefully and tried to avoid the puddles. She would also tell An Mu to lift her legs so she wouldn’t get dirty. An Mu held Jian Yixi’s waist and felt the warmth of her body. “Don’t forget to bring a jacket tomorrow,” she said.

“I won’t. I’m just used to Shunyi. It’s still hot there in September. We call it the ‘autumn tiger.’ It doesn’t get cold until after the National Day. It’s so cold here.”

No, it’s because no one reminds you. Most people are still children until they enter society. Most people have to be reminded to wear a jacket.

“Didn’t your mom remind you?”

“No, she’s busy. Besides, I’m old enough to take care of myself.”

But Wen Qiaoyun had reminded Jian Yihu. In her eyes, there was only one daughter, Jian Yihu. An Mu and her friends were nothing.

The ride was short. It only took them ten minutes to get to the house. Jian Yixi got off the bike, put on her backpack, and waved goodbye. The night wind blew her hair around. An Mu noticed that her forehead was sweaty. “See you Monday,” Jian Yixi said.

An Mu said, “Call me if you need anything.”

“Don’t worry!”

An Mu didn’t know if that meant, “Don’t worry, I’ll call you if I need anything,” or “Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”

An Mu waited until Jian Yixi had disappeared into the building before she started to ride home. The house was empty. Her parents didn’t want her to live alone, but she had insisted. They told her to call them at 10 p.m. every night. At 10 p.m. in Weicheng, it was 4 p.m. in Paris. It was the busiest time of the day for them, but her mother made sure to call her to make sure she was safe. An Mu had never had that kind of care in her last life. She was touched.

But she wasn’t the real An Mu. She didn’t know where the real An Mu was or if she would ever come back. Maybe she would wake up tomorrow, and the twenty-eight-year-old Jian Yixi would be gone, and there would only be a sixteen-year-old An Mu.

An Mu was tired. But she couldn’t sleep. She went on Weibo and posted a link to the video from the classroom. Then she took a shower.

An Mu’s post read: #Human Trafficking# Reality is harsh. Don’t be sad. /hug @JianYixi @DesignerChen; #MostBeautifulSister#; #JianYihu#

An Mu didn’t tag Jian Yihu, but it didn’t matter. The post was reposted by fans, and soon Jian Yihu’s fans were leaving comments. When she came out of the shower, the comments were a mess. Fans were happy, but true fans were upset. Some people were just watching, and a few still believed Jian Yihu. An Mu glanced at the comments and put her phone down. She wanted to let the situation fester overnight.

When her hair was dry, she saw that Chen Han had reposted her post. The situation was getting more and more out of control. Her notifications were blowing up, but An Mu didn’t care. She put her phone down and went to bed. An Mu was tired. She turned off the lights, and the room was completely dark. The curtains were thick, so no light came in. An Mu closed her eyes and fell asleep.

She was half-asleep and was having a dream about her past life. She saw her sixteen-year-old self. It was the same night, after the storm. The video had already been released. Everyone was saying that the video was of Jian Yihu. She came home, and Jian Yihu had already lied to her parents. Her father, Jian Xiangwei, was so angry that he threw a cup, and her mother, Wen Qiaoyun, was yelling at her.

An Mu couldn’t remember what she said. But she remembered a few things. Do you know that you’re a girl? Aren’t you embarrassed to undress in front of so many people? To be nice, you’re uncultured! To be mean, you’re a tramp! You’re so young and already like this. What will you be like when you’re older?! What did your adoptive parents teach you?! I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything good from them. You can’t call them your parents anymore! And you can’t contact them!

Those things were bad, but the worst thing Wen Qiaoyun said was, I wish I had never found you! Wen Qiaoyun would never know how much that hurt. It was like saying, I wish I had never given birth to you. She remembered Wen Qiaoyun getting angrier and angrier. With Jian Yihu’s encouragement, she slapped her and told her to kneel down and apologize to Jian Yihu. Yes, kneel. She had never knelt before. Her adoptive parents had never punished her like that. They always talked to her and were patient. But that night, Wen Qiaoyun told her to kneel to Jian Yihu, who was only a few minutes older. She did it. She knelt and cried.

She couldn’t remember what happened after that. She just remembered kneeling for a long time. Jian Yihu didn’t tell her to get up. She kept talking about how she had done her wrong and how she deserved to be punished. An Mu knelt there and thought it was all her fault. That night… she cried all night and didn’t leave her room all weekend. No one asked if she had eaten.

An Mu opened her eyes. The clock said it was 4 a.m. She had been asleep. She went to the bathroom and then went back to bed, but she couldn’t sleep. The pain from her dream was still with her. She got up and opened the curtains. The sun was not up yet, but the rain was gone. The stars were bright. The moon was clear. An Mu looked at the sky. The mess on the internet couldn’t affect her. She wondered if her sixteen-year-old self was crying in her room. Or maybe she was sleeping. The situation was different now. She shouldn’t have to kneel anymore. She had a minor demerit, but Jian Yihu was in bigger trouble. She had been caught on video and had lied. Her father, Jian Xiangwei, knew what was going on. Unlike her mother, he was logical. He wouldn’t care about Jian Yixi. He would want to solve the problem with Jian Yihu. Jian Yixi was probably yelled at and told to go back to her room.

An Mu stood there for a few more moments, then went to the bathroom to get ready. She put on a pair of jeans, a shirt, and a beige jacket. She grabbed her keys and phone and went out. It was 6 a.m., and the streets were already busy. The restaurants were open. The sanitation workers were cleaning. The buses were moving slowly. The air was cold. An Mu walked with her hands in her pockets. The air was crisp, and the cold woke her up. She walked along the wet sidewalk. The leaves and branches from the night before were gone. She walked to a familiar restaurant. It was familiar to her in name only. She had only been there once. Her mother had scolded her for eating outside and said it was unsanitary. She was not allowed to go back. But An Mu knew her mother was lying. Her mother let Jian Yihu eat whatever she wanted. Her mother was just embarrassed that her daughter would eat at a cheap restaurant.

An Mu ordered a basket of shrimp dumplings and a bowl of salty tofu. The dumplings were small but delicious. They were filled with hot soup. An Mu ate them slowly, dipping them in vinegar and then eating the tofu. It was a delicious meal that warmed her up. She walked back home and saw a girl in a school uniform. It was Jian Yixi. She looked tired. Her ponytail was messy. She was looking at the ground, and she kept walking. An Mu noticed her and stood in her way. Jian Yixi tried to walk around her, but An Mu kept blocking her. Jian Yixi finally looked up.

An Mu frowned. Jian Yixi’s face was flushed. Her hair was messy. Her eyes were dull. Her lips were pale and chapped. An Mu’s frown deepened. She touched her forehead. It was burning up.

“What’s wrong?” An Mu asked. Why is she walking around with a fever?!

Jian Yixi took a moment to recognize her. Her eyes looked at her. Her face was red, and she quickly looked down and rubbed her eyes. When she looked up, her eyes were still red, but the tears were gone. She smiled. “Why are you here? Are you shopping? Do you need something?” Jian Yixi patted her shirt and skirt. “Did you call me? I forgot my phone.”

An Mu grabbed her hand and went to the street to find a taxi. “We can talk later. We need to go to the hospital.”

“But… I just came from the hospital. I have to go home to get something.” Jian Yixi was talking slowly. She was dizzy. She was barely standing. An Mu hailed a taxi and put her in it. She told the driver to go to the nearest hospital. She then touched Jian Yixi’s forehead again. Jian Yixi didn’t answer. She looked out the window. “I have to go home. I didn’t get it.”

“Get what?”

Jian Yixi’s eyes were red. “My sister’s phone. She left it at home. My mom told me to get it for her. She’s bored in the hospital.”

“In the hospital? Who’s in the hospital?”

“My sister.”

“What happened to Jian Yihu?”

“She…” Jian Yixi looked down and gripped her skirt. “I didn’t think I would push her this far. I… I really didn’t…”

An Mu leaned back in her seat and pulled Jian Yixi’s head to her shoulder. She patted her head. The heat from her head burned An Mu’s hand. “She’s playing games. It’s a trick.”

Jian Yixi looked up at her. “No, you don’t know…”

“I know. She tried to kill herself, didn’t she?”

Jian Yixi stiffened and then leaned back against An Mu. Her hot breath was on An Mu’s ear. “It’s not your fault. You don’t have to blame yourself. She’s just pretending.”

“But her wrist was bleeding.”

“Anyone’s wrist would bleed if they scratched themselves. The doctor said she’s fine. She’s just being dramatic. What did the doctor say?”

“The doctor said… she didn’t hit an artery. She’s okay. She was just upset. She didn’t want to go home, so my mom checked her in.”

An Mu said, “I bet she took a lot of pictures of her bleeding. She wanted you to get her phone so she could take more pictures and get sympathy on the internet and scare your parents.”

“Phone…” Jian Yixi was so dizzy that she had forgotten. “No, I have to go home to get her phone. My mom told me to take it to her…” An Mu was frustrated. She held her close. “Stop moving! I’m getting mad!”

“Look at you! You have a fever! How can you think about a phone?!”

“Fever?” Jian Yixi touched her face. “That’s why I feel so bad.” An Mu didn’t want to admit that she was so stupid. She ignored her. Jian Yixi looked up at her. Her forehead was burning. An Mu pulled her head away. “How did you know I had a fever?” Jian Yixi smiled. Her smile was weak. She looked pitiful and dumb. An Mu glared at her. She’s so old, but she can’t even take care of herself.

“You’re burning up. I’m not blind. How could I not know?”

“But my parents… they didn’t know.”

Jian Yixi was still smiling, but her eyes were red. She looked down. A tear fell on An Mu’s jeans and left a dark stain. An Mu’s heart ached. How could she not know she had a fever? She wasn’t that stupid. But no one cared about her. Even if she told them, they would just think she was being a burden. She held it in, not wanting to make things more complicated. But she also wanted them to notice her, to care about her. But no one did.

An Mu hugged Jian Yixi and held her tightly. She didn’t know what to say. After a long time, she said, “I told you to call me if you needed anything. Why didn’t you listen?”

Jian Yixi’s head was on her shoulder. Her breath was shaky. “Why would I call you?”

“I would take you to the hospital.”

“Why would I go to the hospital?”

“To get treated.”

“Do I have to get a shot?”

“Probably.”

“But I’m scared of needles…”

An Mu looked at Jian Yixi. She couldn’t see her face, just her eyelashes. They fluttered, and a tear came out. Was she… acting cute? An Mu remembered Jian Yixi saying her hand hurt. No, she wasn’t acting cute. She had never acted cute. It was just a coincidence. But it was normal to be weak when you were sick.

“Then… I’ll ask the nurse to be gentle.”

Jian Yixi smiled. “But… it still hurts to get a shot…” An Mu was speechless. She had never been in this situation. “What do you want me to do?”

“Can you… blow on it?” An Mu remembered her adoptive mother blowing on her arm when she was a child. A wave of sympathy came over her. “Yes. I’ll blow on it for you.”