Before I End Up as Rabbit Stew - Chapter 1

The laughter gathered in the front yard of Oreum Hall was like a heavy rain shower. Those on the verge of graduating were more excited than ever. Once they left Oreum Hall today, they would scatter to various parts of the Celestial Realm to fulfill their duties as ‘educated beings.’ From the children of high gods to spiritual creatures wearing animal masks, various students gathered at Oreum Hall, following the Celestial Emperor’s words that there was no distinction in learning. They had taken high-level exams to enter the Celestial Realm’s premier educational institution, and graduation was also determined by examination.

“Attention!”

Dongbangsak, standing in front of the platform, raised his voice. As the Celestial Emperor’s aide and the highest master of Oreum Hall, he was in charge of awarding graduation plaques every year. The graduation plaques, made by thinly slicing wood, were stamped with the Celestial Emperor’s seal, and graduation was not recognized without it. Therefore, no one ever failed to attend the graduation ceremony.

“When your name is called, come forward and receive your plaque!”

Dongbangsak picked up the top graduation plaque. It was the nameplate of the valedictorian of Oreum Hall.

“Moon Rabbit, Yimae, come forward.”

The front yard stirred for a moment. However, the called Yimae did not appear. Dongbangsak slowly scanned the people from right to left and said,

“Moon Rabbit, Yimae!”

In the deathly quiet hall, someone cautiously raised their hand. No, a fluffy white paw was raised. It was Chaesang, a Moon Rabbit who shared a room with Yimae.

“Umm, when I woke up, he was already gone from the room.”

Dongbangsak gritted his teeth. From Yimae’s admission to this day, for three years, he could count the days he hadn’t been angry because of that rabbit faster.

The White Tiger and Vermilion Bird, sitting in the second row, chuckled. Despite being pushed back by a spiritual creature and being the runners-up despite being two of the Four Symbols, they didn’t seem to resent or feel wronged by their positions.

“He’s determined to do this until graduation day.”

Dongbangsak called a military officer standing behind him.

“Go and catch that mouse-eyed bean.”

“The Geumbudo Officer has already gone.”

The Geumbudo Officer, who should have been standing guard, was nowhere to be seen. He seemed to have rushed out as soon as he confirmed that Yimae was gone. He, along with Dongbangsak, had suffered so much over the past three years. Teaching wooden sword techniques to the point of bursting his lungs must have been a new experience even for the Geumbudo Officer. All this time, the entire Celestial Emperor’s palace had been turned upside down because of one tiny Moon Rabbit.

“You go too. You next to him too.”

Dongbangsak looked at the White Tiger and Vermilion Bird with a deeply furrowed face.

“How can just one Geumbudo Officer catch that guy? Hurry and go.”

Indeed, Dongbangsak of the Three Thousand Gaps. Having lived for so long, he had mastered foresight. The Geumbudo Officer was struggling with Yimae under a wall somewhere in the Celestial Emperor’s palace, beyond Oreum Hall.

“Why don’t you stop being stubborn and come here?”

“No, are you going to tie up your disciple with an aura and take him away, even though you’re a teacher?”

The wooden sword Yimae was holding was more than three times his height. He held it firmly with his cotton-like hands and aimed it at the Geumbudo Officer. After a fairly long chase, they were both panting as if their shoulders would fall off.

“Wouldn’t it be over if you just obediently received the graduation plaque?”

That way, everyone would be comfortable. Especially me. The Geumbudo Officer swallowed the rest of his words.

How much had this little Moon Rabbit stirred up Oreum Hall for three years? The incident of burning down the pavilion while experimenting with medicinal herbs, and the fact that he made and sold fake elixirs to the students, were already being talked about for a long time.

“If I receive that, I’ll be a lunar palace slave from tomorrow, would you receive it with a happy heart if you were a teacher?”

“What’s the problem with telling a Moon Rabbit to go to the moon!”

“Oh, yeah! Then the Moon Rabbit will go to the moon, so the Goldfish Officer should fall into the pond!”

“That mouth that earns you a beating!”

The Geumbudo Officer rebuked. The Moon Rabbit impiously struck the teacher with his wooden sword. While easily parrying, the Geumbudo Officer thought it was a shame, because if he had been born a god, he would have become a great figure in the Celestial Realm. This child was well-versed in both literary and military arts, and his quick thinking in emergencies was outstanding. He was a disciple who, when taught one thing, would understand ten and come with an eleventh question.

“What can I do if you’re just a spiritual creature!”

The rabbit’s wooden sword, relentlessly attacking to create an opportunity to escape, was pitiful. He wondered if there was anywhere for him to go after leaving this Celestial Emperor’s palace, and he wanted to just let him go. However, the Geumbudo Officer had to uphold the law. If he showed himself swayed by personal feelings for his disciple, the discipline of the entire Oreum Hall would easily collapse.

“If a beast is drafted to the lunar palace, he should be grateful!”

“What, a beast?”

The Moon Rabbit clicked his tongue as if dumbfounded. At the same time, the wooden sword he thrust reached the Geumbudo Officer’s solar plexus. The Geumbudo Officer dodged the attack by a hair’s breadth and immediately turned around to widen the distance.

“Did you just call me a beast?!”

How could a rabbit who couldn’t even hold a high position have mastered swordsmanship so well? What a waste. The Geumbudo Officer, who had staggered for a brief moment, straightened his body. The Moon Rabbit was breathing hot air with his nose attached to his face.

“Who taught this beast for three years, saying they would give him a government post? Who made the guy who just ran around eating grass and dew walk on two feet?”

“That’s why they’re giving you a position in the lunar palace’s tea garden.”

“Pounding rice cakes and pulling weeds is hardly a position!”

Yimae threw down his wooden sword. A heavy silence came over them. The White Tiger and Vermilion Bird, who had arrived just in time, tried to reach out to the Moon Rabbit. However, the Geumbudo Officer quietly blocked their way.

Yimae felt so wronged that he wanted to take out his intestines and show them. He liked the time when he was running around the Celestial Emperor’s garden without goals or dreams. He hadn’t studied all night just to be drafted to the lunar palace and pound rice cakes.

Besides, Yimae wasn’t the only spiritual creature among the students graduating from Oreum Hall. This was all because the Moon Rabbit didn’t hibernate and could be used all year round, and because he was very small and easily looked down upon. The Kirin and Haetae, who were graduating together, were well assigned to higher positions than Yimae.

“Please let me go to the Western Flower Garden of the Underworld.”

Yimae’s gaze scraped the floor. The Geumbudo Officer silently picked up the wooden sword Yimae had thrown. Yimae had excellent grades in many subjects, especially herbal medicine and cultivation. If he hadn’t been a rabbit, he could have aimed for the position of guardian of the golden garden or manager of the Celestial Realm’s medical center. If he hadn’t been a rabbit.

“Those without souls cannot cross the River of Three Crossings.”

He wasn’t asking to be sent to the Underworld because he didn’t know. It was just a tantrum. There was no way a rabbit who had mastered various historical studies such as Celestial History, Underworld History, and Red Earth History wouldn’t know that. Knowing it was a tantrum, the Geumbudo Officer’s voice trailed off. It was because the thought that he was a teacher who couldn’t do anything for him weighed on him like a stone.

“That soul, that spiritual creature! It would be faster to die and be reborn.”

“That is also a reincarnation that those without souls cannot enter.”

“Aaaargh! Come here, you guys take some hits for me! Come here!”

Yimae, who had taken the wooden sword from his teacher’s hand, charged. The White Tiger and Vermilion Bird, who had been standing like statues, scattered in panic. It wasn’t just for a day or two that they had been beaten by the Moon Rabbit, who was called a mouse-eyed bean because he was so small.

“What crime have we committed to deserve this!”

“The crime of having a soul!”

“How is that our fault? Did we choose to be born that way?”

“Oh, really? Then give me your soul and you be the rabbit?”

The rabbit climbed onto the White Tiger’s head as if he was really going to suck out his soul. The Vermilion Bird fidgeted and reached out to stroke the Moon Rabbit. The soft voice saying, “Good boy, good boy,” seemed to excite Yimae even more. The rabbit’s wooden sword fiercely struck the Vermilion Bird. The Vermilion Bird, who had been hit hard on the shoulder, stepped back. The rabbit straightened his back, using the White Tiger’s shoulder as a foothold.

“Take out your elite troops! You too!”

The tip of the wooden sword poked the White Tiger and Vermilion Bird once each. The elite troops were the unique weapons and symbols of each of the Four Symbols’ families. However, it was a principle not to take them out carelessly unless they were really facing an opponent. And the White Tiger and Vermilion Bird had not even a speck of intention to attack Yimae, who was their precious friend.

“You’re not taking it out? You’re not taking out that ridiculously big fan of yours?”

“I’m not taking it out. Just go over the wall like this.”

The White Tiger leaned his body against the wall. It was a height that Yimae could escape over the wall at any moment if he stretched out his body. The rabbit, who had been silent for a moment, looking back and forth at his friends, lowered his wooden sword.

“It would have been nice if I had been born as a human.”

The clever rabbit, realizing that he could not break through reality, flattened his belly against the White Tiger’s shoulder and hung limply. The Geumbudo Officer replied indifferently.

“Isn’t human life like a flash of lightning?”

“That’s why they have souls, isn’t it?”

So that they can live a new life through endless reincarnation. The teacher slowly lifted his disciple into his arms. The hand stroking the Moon Rabbit’s small head was indescribably desolate.

“There will be a way.”

Yimae didn’t believe his words verbatim. However, it was true that it was quite comforting, so he decided not to say anything more. Thanks to his teacher’s brisk steps, Oreum Hall was already right in front of him. Yimae looked at the many students waiting for their graduation plaques. The White Tiger and Vermilion Bird led the Moon Rabbit and ran to the front row. Dongbangsak glared at the Moon Rabbit with a displeased expression, but willingly gave up the high platform he had built.

“Valedictorian Moon Rabbit, Yimae, come forward.”

Yimae received the graduation plaque, which was bigger than his body, with both hands. Then, he nonchalantly held it high in front of the students so that the Celestial Emperor’s golden seal was clearly visible. The grounds were once again bustling with cheers, laughter, and enthusiastic applause. Yimae looked up at the lunar palace floating far away in the air. And he repeated his teacher’s words like a mantra.

“There will be a way.”

The White Tiger and Vermilion Bird, who came up to the platform after him, placed their hands on Yimae’s small shoulders. Yimae nodded as if he deeply understood their comfort.

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