After the Foolish Beauty Wore Women's Clothes and Married the Brutal General - Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Praying He’s an Impotent, “Broken Sleeve” (Homosexual)

The fourth year of Tiansheng, on the third day of the eighth month, a clear day, suitable for weddings.

Even after nightfall, the city of Yong’an was still bustling. Guests in the restaurants were loudly discussing the endless stream of dowry gifts that were carried in the daytime procession. People on the streets were sweeping up the firecracker remnants. A woman, holding a piece of red silk she had just picked up from the street, boasted to the person next to her about the wedding money she had received that day and said she wanted to make clothes for her child.

Today was the wedding of the current emperor’s most beloved sister, Princess Royal Anle. She was marrying the great general. The palace had sent people to decorate the streets a few days ago, and even soldiers were arranged in ranks to guard the streets. Each soldier was tied with a big red silk ribbon. Although they had all been removed by now, the festive atmosphere had not yet faded.

Princess Royal Anle, Nan Jianxue, usually kept to himself and rarely appeared in public. Those who had seen him said he was a beauty that could topple cities and kingdoms, with skin as white as snow, a perfect face, a graceful figure, bright eyes, and a cold temperament like pure white frost or the bright moon. It was said that the empress adopted this princess because she was so delicate and endearing. Over the years, the empress had doted on him even more than her own children.

Many people in the capital were infatuated with the Princess Royal. From time to time, someone would ask the emperor or the empress dowager for his hand in marriage, but without exception, they were all rejected. Now that such a fairy-like person was getting married, the common people all came to share in the joy.

The general’s manor was also lively, with red decorations everywhere, guests toasting and laughing. The only quiet place was the bridal chamber.

It wasn’t that there were no people, but that no one dared to make a sound.

Nan Jianxue sat in front of the dressing table, applying makeup to his face. The maid standing beside him, Qingqian, also started to look strange.

As Nan Jianxue applied another layer of powder to his face, his already pale skin became thick and stiff, making him look like a dead steamed bun. Paired with the big red wedding dress he was wearing, it gave off an indescribable sense of horror and eeriness.

“Princess,” Qingqian stopped him from reaching for more powder. “Is this enough? It’s already very scary.”

“But Liang Qifeng has seen so many dead people on the battlefield. He must be very brave,” Nan Jianxue ignored her protest and applied another layer of powder to his face. “I want him to be scared away the moment he sees me!”

“That’s not the same,” Qingqian said. “Maybe the consort isn’t afraid of dead people, but he might be afraid of ghosts?”

Upon hearing the word “consort,” Nan Jianxue’s eyebrows furrowed instantly.

His consort was the current Town-Guarding General, Liang Qifeng. It was said that he joined the army at the age of fourteen and at seventeen, he led his troops to defeat the Beile people, becoming famous in one battle. Since then, he had gone through countless battles and had never been defeated. He was a famous God of War in Dalie and also his Imperial Brother’s—the current emperor’s—best friend. When the emperor was fighting for the throne, Liang Qifeng also helped a lot.

But such a popular person had not married yet.

The reason was that Liang Qifeng had a fierce reputation. It was said that when he was on the border, he would go out and kill a Beile person every day, bring the head back, and put it on the dining table to eat with his meal. He would also gouge out their eyeballs and string them together to make a necklace to give to his future wife as a betrothal gift.

With such a cruel person, which good family would dare to marry their daughter to him?

Nan Jianxue had heard this from someone not long ago and didn’t think much of it. He never expected his Imperial Brother to suddenly send an imperial decree, directly throwing this demon into his hands.

He didn’t want to marry at all, but his Imperial Brother said he would cut off his monthly allowance and that he wouldn’t get any rewards from the palace from now on.

He had clearly said before that if he didn’t want to marry, the royal family would support him for the rest of his life!

As expected, his Imperial Sister was right. You can’t believe a word a man says!

“Don’t call him ‘consort’!” Nan Jianxue said, and then took more powder to whiten his neck.

“You’re already very scary like this,” Qingqian said, holding a box of lipstick. “Put some color on your lips.”

Nan Jianxue took it and smeared it hard.

But he didn’t put it on his lips. Instead, he meticulously drew it on his face.

Two complete, bright red circles quickly formed, adding a layer of horror to his already ghostly white face.

“How does it look?” Nan Jianxue looked at Qingqian and smiled at her.

Qingqian shivered at his smile, her face looking like she was about to cry. “You look… you look like a paper effigy.”

“A paper effigy is still missing something,” Nan Jianxue said. He smeared on more lipstick and meticulously outlined a small mouth on his lips before smiling at Qingqian again.

Qingqian shivered on the spot.

Nan Jianxue was satisfied and took out a handkerchief to wipe his fingers. He said, “I don’t believe this won’t scare him away.”

“Princess…” Qingqian hesitated. “What if the emperor asks…”

“I have a good reason to answer,” Nan Jianxue “humphed” and said righteously. “He wanted me to marry, and I married, didn’t I? It’s Liang Qifeng who got scared away by my makeup. That shows his heart isn’t sincere. How can such a man be worthy of me?!”

Qingqian: “…What if the consort isn’t scared away?”

Nan Jianxue paused at her words, hesitated for a moment, and then sighed softly. He put his hands together and said, “Then I can only pray he’s an impotent, ‘broken sleeve’ who is completely useless with women.”

Qingqian was speechless. “Then it’s more practical for you to scare him away.” As she spoke, she put the red veil back on Nan Jianxue’s head. “I’ll stand guard outside. Don’t move.”

After making sure the veil was in place, she left in a hurry.

Nan Jianxue sat there quietly, thinking about how to scare his cheap consort later.

Should he roll his eyes and sit motionless? Or should he stick out his tongue and say, “I’m so wronged”? Or should he do nothing but just smile?

Nan Jianxue thought seriously for a while, but before he could decide, he heard Qingqian’s loud and clear voice from outside, “General.”

Nan Jianxue immediately sat up straight, ready to smile as soon as Liang Qifeng lifted the veil. If that didn’t scare him, he would roll his eyes and stick out his tongue, one by one. He didn’t believe it wouldn’t work!

With a creaking sound, the door was pushed open, and a cool breeze came into the room.

Nan Jianxue listened to the footsteps coming from the door, measuring the distance between them.

Five more steps.

Four steps.

Three steps.

Nan Jianxue forced the corners of his mouth into a weird, extreme upward curve.

But suddenly, the room fell silent.

Liang Qifeng stopped walking.

Could it be that Liang Qifeng had discovered his intention?

Just as he was wondering, Nan Jianxue heard two “swish” sounds, a sound made by something he couldn’t identify.

Then he felt the world spin. When he came to his senses, he realized that he was now in Liang Qifeng’s arms in a different spot. His askew veil gave him a wider view, just enough to see two arrows firmly stuck in the floor next to a pair of black boots. The white feathers on the arrows’ tails were still trembling slightly.

Nan Jianxue immediately understood what had happened. A scream instantly rose to his throat.

But Liang Qifeng held him and turned around again. A masked face appeared in front of Nan Jianxue.

The moment their eyes met, he saw the person’s pupils constrict. The person even let out a short, muffled grunt and swung his knife at him.

Nan Jianxue screamed, “There’s an assassin! Quick—ah!!”

Before he could finish his sentence, he was pulled back, avoiding the blade, but another knife came from the side and sliced through his wide sleeve.

Nan Jianxue’s face, covered in powder, instantly turned pale. “Assassin! There’s an assassin!! Someone, quick—!!”

His voice was so sharp and loud, it was like a demonic suona horn.

Liang Qifeng’s ears were half-deafened by the noise. If it were anyone else, he would have knocked them out with one punch, but this was the princess.

He endured it again and again, and then snarled, “Shut up! Is a few assassins worth all this yelling?”

Nan Jianxue was yelled at and turned his head, angrily yelling back, “Are you waiting to die if you don’t call for help? If you can’t protect me, then let go of me!!”

The moment their eyes met, a look of surprise flashed across Liang Qifeng’s face. He quickly covered Nan Jianxue’s mouth, who was about to continue yelling.

“Stop shouting,” Liang Qifeng said through gritted teeth. “With me here, you won’t…”

Before he could finish, the two assassins charged at them from the left and right. The sound of clashing swords rang out from outside the room.

Liang Qifeng immediately held Nan Jianxue and dodged.

With the hand covering his mouth gone, Nan Jianxue screamed again. “Someone, help!!”

Liang Qifeng’s eyebrows furrowed fiercely. He threatened with a cold expression, “If you yell again, I’ll knock you out and throw you to them!”

His voice was filled with a murderous aura, sounding even more terrifying than the two assassins. It scared Nan Jianxue so much that he immediately covered his own mouth, his face full of fear as he shook his head, making muffled sounds.

The two assassins had already attacked. Liang Qifeng held the person and dodged one of them. The other one kicked him, sending the assassin flying. He crashed into a cabinet with a loud “bang.”

The assassin saw this and immediately swung his knife. Liang Qifeng hooked the lamp stand beside him to block the attack. Before the second attack came, he quickly retreated a few steps, holding the person, and said in a low voice, “Hold on tight.”

Nan Jianxue’s mind went blank from fear. When he heard those two words, his body immediately obeyed. His arms, like an octopus, wrapped around Liang Qifeng’s neck, holding him tightly.

Liang Qifeng’s breathing hitched. He was about to say something, but the long knife was already in front of him. He could only dodge with the person in his arms. He then took out the golden hairpin from Nan Jianxue’s hair and forcefully plunged it into the assassin’s neck. Then he pulled it out with a forceful yank.

Warm, fresh blood splattered all over Nan Jianxue’s face.

Nan Jianxue almost fainted.

But Liang Qifeng didn’t give him a chance to faint. He held him and turned around again. The golden hairpin in his hand shot out like an arrow, ending the other assassin’s life.

Only then did he let go of the person, but Nan Jianxue’s two arms were still holding him tightly, as if he had been scared silly.

Liang Qifeng frowned. “Let go.”

Nan Jianxue said, “Huh?” Liang Qifeng had no choice but to take a deep breath and repeat, “They’re dead. Let go.”

Nan Jianxue only understood what he meant after a few breaths. His hands went limp, and he collapsed onto the floor like a silk rag. His expression was blank, and his eyes were empty. He looked like a real paper doll.

Just as Liang Qifeng was about to tell him to get up, the paper doll stiffly turned its head to look at him and said four shaky words, “I… I want to bathe…”

Liang Qifeng thought this woman was crazy. She was thinking about bathing at a time like this?

He didn’t want to bother with her and turned to go out to deal with the remaining assassins. But then he heard a more tearful “I want to bathe” from behind him.

Liang Qifeng strode towards the door, but his sleeve was pulled.

He frowned and looked back. He was met with a pair of resentful eyes, and along with his mournful “I want to bathe,” two lines of bloody tears slowly flowed down his face.

Liang Qifeng: “…”

He silently watched Nan Jianxue with his face covered in bloody tears. After a long while, he said with a complicated expression, “Wait.”

He pulled his sleeve out of Nan Jianxue’s grasp and left.

As soon as he left, Nan Jianxue raised his hands and wiped his face haphazardly, all while calling out Qingqian’s name.

But after calling for a long time, Qingqian didn’t come, but Liang Qifeng returned quickly.

He held a sword that was still dripping with blood and strode into the room. His originally clean wedding dress was now stained with large patches of blood. A lot of it had splattered onto his face, even clinging to his eyelashes. As he looked down at Nan Jianxue’s small movements, the blood trembled and then dripped onto his already bloody face, creating a small stream.

Nan Jianxue looked at the bloody tear on his face and instantly understood what he had just been doing. His already pale face became even more ghastly. This time, he was so scared that his whole body froze.

Why did he ever think of scaring this person? This was a real, living ghost!

Liang Qifeng saw him staring blankly at him and said coldly, “Aren’t you going to bathe?”

Nan Jianxue came to his senses slightly at his words. His voice was still trembling. “Bathe… bathe, okay, okay, I’ll… I’ll go now.” He said, propping himself up to stand, but he didn’t move.

His legs were so weak that he couldn’t take a step. He could only stand there like a pillar, staring at Liang Qifeng.

Liang Qifeng’s eyes turned cold.

Nan Jianxue’s expression instantly froze.

“I’ll go now… now,” Nan Jianxue said and then his body went limp, and he fell right into Liang Qifeng’s arms.

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