After Pretending to be an Idiot, I Was Targeted by the Cold-Blooded Zhangyin - Chapter 7

The old Emperor loved to throw grand banquets.

Heaps of gold and silver were constantly converted into a small banquet every three days and a grand feast every five. He would lean back at the seat of highest honor, clutching fine wine, watching the officials flatter him and the dancers exert themselves to please him. Only recently, due to poor health and being bedridden, had he painfully abandoned this hobby. Now that his health had improved, the extravagance had returned.

Xie Changsheng ignored Xie Hemiao. He bypassed him, got out of bed, and walked barefoot to the table. He picked up the dagger—encrusted with gems and etched with complex beast patterns—and carved a forceful line into the wood.

Before this mark, there were other gashes on the table. Horizontal and vertical, these ugly, illogical scratches were carved deep into the wood; there were at least twenty of them.

This tabletop was actually Xie Changsheng’s calendar. He used this method to record the days since his transmigration, counting down to the old Emperor’s death. In another 340 days—340 more scratches—it would be the Emperor’s time to go.

Xie Hemiao limped over and asked curiously, “Little Fool, what are you doing?”

With a “clang,” Xie Changsheng dropped the dagger and gave Xie Hemiao a simple, honest smile: “Death Note.”

Xie Hemiao blinked blankly.

Seeing that Xie Changsheng was awake, Yang Luo and the attendants served him as he dressed and washed. Because of the palace banquet, Xie Changsheng’s clothes today were even more complicated than usual. Layer upon layer was put on him, and ornaments were hung one after another. Even his hair was weighted down with red gemstones.

With just a shake of his head, Xie Changsheng could hear a rhythmic jing-ling-ting-ling. He spent a long time leaning over the table rolling paper balls to play with; when he finally looked up, he nearly fell over from the weight: “So heavy!!”

Yang Luo hurried to steady him. She felt both amused and apologetic; seeing how obediently Xie Changsheng had sat earlier, she found him so quiet and well-behaved that she hadn’t been able to resist over-decorating him. Now realizing it was too much, she suppressed a smile and began removing the gems from his hair.

Xie Changsheng, however, lost his patience and refused to sit still. No matter how Yang Luo explained that she was trying to take the ornaments off, he wouldn’t believe her. He began dodging and weaving through the hall with surprising agility.

Xie Hemiao stood to the side, quietly watching Xie Changsheng play with the servants. Seeing the child-like, pure smile on Xie Changsheng’s face, a flicker of doubt crossed his mind. When a person turns into a fool, does their basic temperament change too?

Xie Hemiao remembered clearly: Xie Changsheng had been mischievous and loathsome from a young age—hated by even cats and dogs. Xie Hemiao definitely hated him. Yet the current Xie Changsheng was somehow likable no matter how you looked at him.

Xie Hemiao felt incredibly conflicted. It was like eating the persimmons a certain official had flatteringly sent a few days ago: bitter and astringent, yet just as he went to spit it out, he caught a hint of sweetness that left him feeling irritable.

He took a deep breath, comforting himself. The reason he felt this way was because he was different from the pre-foolish Xie Changsheng. He was a good person! A good person naturally felt compassion—even if the object of that compassion was the younger brother who had crippled his leg when they were children.

While Xie Changsheng ran around the pillars with Yang Luo, he secretly observed Xie Hemiao’s expression. He saw the man looking like he had a split personality: smiling savagely one moment and sighing the next. His face was as colorful as someone who had eaten the wrong kind of wild mushrooms.

Xie Changsheng silently prayed to the heavens: Please, God, don’t let Xie Hemiao mutate in my room.

“Alright, alright, Second Brother’s head is spinning from watching you.”

The next time Xie Changsheng ran past, Xie Hemiao suddenly reached out an arm to stop him. “Time is up. We must go.”

Xie Changsheng was out of breath from exhaustion, so he simply jumped onto Xie Hemiao: “Carry me!”

Not expecting the pounce, Xie Hemiao staggered, his body freezing up. Yang Luo was startled: “Your Highness, get down quickly!”

Xie Hemiao waved his hand. “Forget it, this Prince is fine.”

He supported Xie Changsheng’s legs and actually carried him out. As he limped along, the thought that the warmth on his back came from Xie Changsheng made him feel annoyed again. Just as his distaste reached its peak and he was internally chanting “I am a good person,” he felt the person on his back swing his legs.

“Don’t move… mm?”

Mid-sentence, something was suddenly stuffed into Xie Hemiao’s mouth. Exploring with his tongue, he realized it was a piece of dried apricot. He pursed his lips and chewed the fruit, unable to name the feeling in his heart.

As they limped out of the hall, his personal attendant rushed forward, fussing about taking Xie Changsheng down. But Xie Changsheng was being stubborn and refused to move. Xie Hemiao sighed and waved the attendant off: “Forget it, leave it be.”

It wasn’t until they reached the sedan chair that Xie Changsheng finally agreed to get off his back. Once the two were seated inside, Xie Changsheng stared at Xie Hemiao without blinking.

“What is it?” Xie Hemiao asked.

As soon as he spoke, Xie Changsheng reached up and yanked a gemstone from his own head, tearing out several strands of hair in his clumsiness. Xie Changsheng hissed in pain, and Xie Hemiao winced in sympathy.

Then, Xie Hemiao’s palm grew heavy. Xie Changsheng had stuffed the gemstone into his hand.

Xie Hemiao raised an eyebrow. “Little Fool, what are you doing? Giving this to me?”

Xie Changsheng lowered his voice: “Second Brother carries Changsheng. Second Brother is good. Second Brother take the shiny thing to trade for candy.”

His voice was like a child’s, full of trust. Xie Hemiao pursed his lips and threw the gem back into Xie Changsheng’s hand. “Forget it, keep it yourself. Your Second Brother hasn’t fallen so low as to take your things.”

Besides, with so many eyes inside and outside the court watching Xie Changsheng, if someone saw him taking the boy’s jewelry, who knew if they’d think he was bullying a simpleton?

Seeing the rejection, Xie Changsheng grew unhappy. His beautiful face pulled into a long, stubborn look, and he brandished a fist: “If you don’t want it, I’ll stuff the shiny thing into your holes!”

Xie Hemiao: “…”

How does this Little Fool manage to be pure and innocent one second, and mischievous and perverse the next?

Seeing Xie Changsheng pressing the gemstone against the tip of his nose—as if he really intended to shove it up a nostril the next second—Xie Hemiao, fearing the boy’s lack of restraint, finally reached out and took it.

“Then Second Brother will accept it.”

The palace banquet today was extremely lively. Officials arrived with their subordinates, sons, and female relatives, while the imperial kin brought their entire families. The air was filled with noisy chatter.

Halfway there, the sedan chair began to struggle because of the crowd. Xie Changsheng saw his chance—a perfect opportunity to show off his “skills” and let everyone see with their own eyes that he was a fool.

Without a word to Xie Hemiao, and despite the fact that the sedan was still moving, Xie Changsheng lifted the curtain and jumped out. Xie Hemiao, the carriers, and the accompanying maids were all horrified. They reached out to catch him, but Xie Changsheng was as slippery as a loach and managed to dive through the forest of hands.

The surrounding officials, upon seeing Xie Changsheng, immediately knelt in greeting while peeking at him. Their eyes flickered with a single word: Gossip.

The rumors had been too much. It started with “The little prince hit his head and became a fool,” and the latest version was “The little prince turned into a fool who eats mud and drools all day, he’s grown ugly and apparently has two noses.”

Everyone desperately wanted to know the truth. Seeing that Xie Changsheng still had one nose and two eyes—appearing just as beautiful and even more clever than before—the ministers felt a hint of disappointment.

They didn’t know that the stage was set, and Xie Changsheng’s “acting bug” had bitten him hard. He let out three powerful, booming laughs toward the sky, drawing every eye to himself. Then, in the next second, he suddenly dropped to the ground.

More accurately, he began to “kneel-walk.” He scrambled forward on all fours with incredible speed. He crawled wherever the crowd was thickest.

The ministers were terrified. They didn’t dare stand up, so they could only wobble on their knees to get out of the way. But they weren’t as fast as Xie Changsheng. Panic-stricken voices erupted from the crowd:

“Ouch, my back…!” “Little Highness! Your Highness, please stand up!!” “Ah! My leg! My leg is being pinned! Get up, it hurts like death!” “What’s happening? What’s going on up there? I can’t see… is there anyone with good eyes?”

Xie Changsheng, crawling frantically on the ground, was like a runaway truck. He knocked quite a few people over, feeling a bit apologetic and even a little embarrassed in his heart. But this was necessary. Staying alive is the most important thing.

As he crawled, he couldn’t help but imagine: If history records this, will the entry be: “Xie Changsheng strikes the first ‘crawl’ of the resistance against the Emperor and feudalism”?

Xie Hemiao also got out of the sedan, joining the servants in trying to pull Xie Changsheng up. Xie Changsheng laughed loudly, rolling on the ground: “It tickles! Hahaha, it tickles so much!”

Xie Hemiao said, “Get up quickly. Stop this. What do you look like?”

The onlookers stared at Xie Hemiao in shock. Everyone knew the Second Prince spent his days in wine houses and song halls; he usually fooled around with Xie Changsheng and was just as improper. Now, instead of watching the show, he was actually offering advice.

Xie Hemiao didn’t care what others thought. He just felt like a worried mother. He was actually worried about the ground being cold—what if Xie Changsheng caught a chill lying there?

Conflicting emotions of amusement, helplessness, and a nameless rage mixed in his heart, causing a distorted smile to appear on his face.

Suddenly, the chaos went silent. The groaning, the apologizing, the snickering—it all stopped. People looked behind Xie Changsheng with grim expressions, as if staring at a man-eating beast.

“Palmprint…”

Xie Changsheng heard a cold, chilly voice come from behind him.

“What exactly is going on here?”