After Pretending to be an Idiot, I Was Targeted by the Cold-Blooded Zhangyin - Chapter 2

There are several types of fools.

The delirious ones, The ones who talk nonsense, The ones with a tendency to harm others, The ones with a tendency to harm themselves…

Among these many varieties of fools, Xie Changsheng aspired to be—

A fool who doesn’t hurt others, doesn’t hurt himself, and has no aggression; at first glance, you might think he’s a normal person, but as soon as he opens his mouth, you know there’s something wrong with his head, and you can’t be bothered to argue with him.

It is difficult, in a way. But it is also simple. After all, from childhood to adulthood, Xie Changsheng had often been told that his thought process was rather peculiar.

“Your Highness, Your Highness, have you remembered everything this servant said?”

Upon hearing that his favorite youngest son had fallen into the water, the Emperor issued three consecutive oral decrees, urging Xie Changsheng to go to the Hall of Mental Cultivation for an audience.

Yang Luo, Xie Changsheng’s personal maid, dressed him in clean clothes. As she hung those jingling, priceless accessories around his waist, she asked him with a worried expression.

Xie Changsheng nodded.

“Then, Your Highness, tell me, what did you promise this servant?”

Xie Changsheng toyed with the ruby pendant at his waist, smiling cheerfully: “If Imperial Father asks me how I became a fool, I will say, I’ll say…”

Halfway through, Xie Changsheng suddenly got stuck. After “er-ing” for a long while, he finally remembered, clapped his hands, and laughed: “I’ll say it was Yang Luo who pushed me down, and tell Imperial Father not to punish the others.”

Yang Luo breathed a sigh of relief and reached out to straighten Xie Changsheng’s collar: “That’s it, Your Highness. Say exactly that.”

After dispatching two pairs of eunuchs and maids to follow Xie Changsheng’s sedan chair and watching him depart, the smile on Yang Luo’s face faded.

“Sister Yang Luo…” A younger maid who usually chatted with her stood by, her eyes red. “It was clearly the Little Highness who slipped and fell himself. Why must you, Sister…”

Yang Luo shook her head.

The Emperor’s most beloved youngest son had slipped into the water because his maids failed to look after him properly. If the Emperor found out about this, everyone in the palace would lose their lives!

In this palace, whose life was easy? It was better for her to take the blame alone. Wasn’t it said that saving one life is better than building a seven-storied pagoda? If she could truly use her life to save so many others, it would be considered accumulating merit.

At this thought, Yang Luo pressed her palms together and prayed devoutly to the heavens: “If I truly have such great karmic merit, Heavens, Buddha, Guanyin Bodhisattva, please bless this humble girl to eat well, drink well, wear gold and silver, enjoy wealth and glory, and be as beautiful as a celestial being in my next life…”

After finishing her prayer, she pulled two hairpins from her head and slid the bracelets off her wrists, handing them to her friend: “Remember, if I die, I want a coffin made of sandalwood.”

It would be moth-proof, insect-proof, and fragrant; it would surely be comfortable to live in.

On the other side, Xie Changsheng naturally couldn’t allow his maid to be punished.

Leaning his cheek on his hand while lounging in the sedan chair, he thought for a while until he had an idea. Even if he truly were a fool, he was still the old Emperor’s favorite youngest son. If he wanted to save someone, it would just be a matter of acting spoiled.

Having figured it out, Xie Changsheng lifted the curtain and jumped out of the sedan.

The maids and eunuchs were startled and hastily stopped the sedan: “Your Highness! Oh, Your Highness! Where are you going? Your Highness, wait!”

Xie Changsheng dodged them nimbly, playing hide-and-seek. As he hid, he giggled: “Can’t catch me, can’t catch me…”

The maids and attendants exchanged looks, each seeing helplessness in the other’s eyes: He’s having another fit of idiocy.

In reality, Xie Changsheng just wanted to solidify his persona. He ran around the sedan chair twice. Seeing that the maids and eunuchs were truly anxious, he intentionally pretended to stumble. Once his speed slowed down, a eunuch grabbed his arm.

“Quick, quick, quick, put His Highness back in the sedan! Don’t let the auspicious hour be delayed.”

The eunuch holding Xie Changsheng actually had quite a bit of strength. With a grunt, he unexpectedly lifted Xie Changsheng up entirely, clutching his waist as if to shove him back into the sedan.

Startled by the sudden sensation of being airborne, Xie Changsheng flailed his limbs: “…Help!”

Amidst the commotion, he suddenly heard a gentle voice: “Third Brother.”

Seeing someone approaching, the eunuchs and maids hurriedly set Xie Changsheng down. If a malicious person saw this scene, they would at least be charged with great irreverence. However, when they saw clearly who it was, they breathed a sigh of relief.

They knelt on the ground in a flurry: “Crown Prince.”

Xie Changsheng sized the man up. The young man before him looked to be twenty-six or twenty-seven, with features somewhat similar to his own. However, while the slightly drooping corners of the eyes looked charming on Xie Changsheng, on this young man, they appeared as gentle as jade.

Aside from being gentle, the young man’s complexion was somewhat pale. He did not look very healthy.

Xie Changsheng and the young man stared at each other for a while. Suddenly, Xie Changsheng stretched out two fingers, pressed the corners of his eyes downward, and made a funny face while asking: “Who are you? You look so much like me.”

The young man was stunned: “Changsheng, I am your Big Brother.”

In fact, the moment he saw this person, Xie Changsheng knew who he was.

The current Crown Prince, Xie Chengjing.

Xie Chengjing was the one who eventually ascended the throne in the novel Storm of the Throne Struggle. But it wasn’t because Xie Chengjing had clever methods; it was because he was weak. Precisely because his body was frail and his personality was weak—being obsessed with refined things like painting, calligraphy, and feng shui—he was easy to manipulate. That was why the Palmprint Eunuch, Gu Feiyi, pushed him onto the throne.

The author had written at the end:

“Xie Chengjing, looking haggard and gaunt, sat slumped on the dragon throne. Beside him, Gu Feiyi’s gaze fell upon him, cold as a snake. Xie Chengjing knew that from now on, he was merely Gu Feiyi’s shadow puppet.”

Although Xie Changsheng had been a die-hard Gu Feiyi fan while reading the book, seeing this passage still made him feel that Xie Chengjing was very pitiable.

Thoughts flashed through his mind, but Xie Changsheng hopped around like a child: “Big Brother? You are my Big Brother? Truly?”

“That’s great!” he said. “I’ve always wanted to have a big brother!”

Xie Chengjing looked at Xie Changsheng, thinking of the scene he had just witnessed. Turning a palace wall, Xie Chengjing had seen Xie Changsheng being held mid-air, flailing his limbs like a kitten being picked up.

The expression that usually bore a gloomy or cynical smile was now much brighter. His expressive eyes were full of innocent mirth. He was shouting strange words that Xie Chengjing couldn’t understand.

In the past, every time Xie Changsheng saw him, he would subject him to caustic remarks. Phrases like “sour scholar,” “soft bun,” or “unlearned and feminine” were all hurled at him.

Yet the Xie Changsheng before him acted like a four or five-year-old child, his eyes full of trust as he looked at him. He didn’t even remember who he was.

Xie Chengjing asked worriedly: “What… what is going on here?”

the maid knelt on the ground again: “Reporting to the Crown Prince, earlier today, the Little Highness… fell into the water… and hit his head…”

Hearing the maid’s explanation, Xie Chengjing was suddenly filled with a myriad of emotions. He and Xie Changsheng were exactly ten years apart. When Xie Changsheng was born, he had stood on tiptoe just to get a glimpse of him. He had been joyful, happy to have such a beautiful little brother.

However, Xie Changsheng grew up amidst the Emperor’s absolute favor, so naturally, he didn’t care for his brotherly affection. Recalling the insults Xie Changsheng used to throw at him, Xie Chengjing naturally disliked him. He had even darkly thought that it would be better if Xie Changsheng died.

But seeing Xie Changsheng actually face retribution and turn into this state, he couldn’t help but feel a bit heartbroken.

Xie Chengjing grabbed Xie Changsheng’s wrists, stopping his movement of trying to put the jade pendant at his waist into his mouth. He coughed twice and asked the maid: “Has the Imperial Physician seen him?”

“Reporting to the Crown Prince, it was Imperial Physician Chang who said…”

Xie Changsheng, who was squatting on the ground, suddenly burst into a fit of laughter as if someone had tickled him: “What did the doctor say? Doctor!! An apple a day keeps the doctor away!”

The worry on Xie Chengjing’s face grew even thicker. After much hesitation, he reached out and took Xie Changsheng’s hand: “I happen to be going to visit Imperial Father as well. Third Brother, come with me.”

Xie Chengjing didn’t have many doubts; he seemed to believe that Xie Changsheng had truly become a simpleton, sighing all along the way.

After answering “Who are you?” five times, stopping Xie Changsheng from squatting to pick up stones three times, and carrying Xie Changsheng for a distance after he suddenly jumped onto his back, they finally arrived at the Hall of Mental Cultivation.

The eunuch at the door looked anxious. The moment he saw Xie Changsheng, he let out a long sigh of relief: “Your Highness, the Emperor has been waiting for you for a long time. Please, go inside quickly!”

Xie Changsheng gave him a brilliant smile. He was naturally beautiful, and this smile was like a hundred flowers in bloom. However, the eunuch was startled. He still remembered that the last person Xie Changsheng smiled at like that had their feet broken and could only walk on their knees from then on.

Just as he was breaking into a cold sweat, Xie Changsheng bypassed him and walked lightheartedly toward the inner hall. The eunuch stroked his pounding heart. Once he recovered, he felt something was off. Looking at Xie Changsheng’s receding figure, he felt increasingly strange.

Inside the Hall of Mental Cultivation, there was a heavy scent of traditional medicine. A figure in bright yellow was lying on the bed directly ahead. Hearing the noise, the bright yellow figure moved immediately, attempting to sit up.

Xie Changsheng had debated all the way about how to behave in front of the old Emperor. The old Emperor loved this youngest son and wished he could give him the best things in the world. With the old Emperor around, Xie Changsheng was in no danger of losing his life.

But the old Emperor only had one year left to live. If he sought the old Emperor’s protection, then a year later, the same death ending as the original host would be waiting for him. Therefore, he had to cut ties with the old Emperor right now.

Though it was a pity, when he thought about the old Emperor’s cruelty and wickedness, it didn’t seem so pitiable anymore.

Thinking this, Xie Changsheng plopped himself down on the couch.

The old Emperor had a deep, gloomy appearance. Seeing Xie Changsheng’s rude behavior, instead of getting angry, he laughed happily and reached out to hold Xie Changsheng’s hand.

“Changsheng… I heard you fell into the water, you…”

Xie Changsheng suddenly reached out, patted the old Emperor’s face, and asked: “You’re my dad?”

The old Emperor was stunned: “…Changsheng…?”

“I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it.”

“I’m so good-looking, but you’re so ugly. How could you possibly be my dad?”

“A beautiful person can give birth to an ugly child! But an ugly person can never give birth to a beautiful child no matter what! Am I right!”

Xie Changsheng grabbed the old Emperor’s shoulders and shook him vigorously. The force had a “disregard for the old Emperor’s life” kind of beauty to it. His voice grew louder and louder: “Don’t you try to lie to me. There is only one truth! And that is—”

“I am actually your dad!!”

As those words crashed down, the Hall of Mental Cultivation fell into a dead silence. The bodies of the maids and eunuchs trembled so hard they almost left afterimages.

The old Emperor’s eyes rolled back, and he fell straight back onto the bed, fainting away. Xie Chengjing abruptly spat out a mouthful of fresh blood.