After My Paranoid Act to Woo My Cold Master Failed - Chapter 1

“Wake up, Host!”

With a sudden thud, Shen Shuheng sat bolt upright in bed.

A deep sense of exhaustion permeated every inch of her body, especially her eyes, which felt too heavy to even open. After sitting up, she pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face against her legs, leaving only the back of her head visible.

Her thoughts began to drift away again, and she was just on the verge of falling back to sleep when—

“The Heroine’s apprenticeship ceremony is about to begin! If you don’t go and stop her from joining the sect now, you’re going to die!” The System looked at Shen Shuheng’s sleepy, disheveled state, truly feeling like it was “trying to help a useless piece of wood.”

Shen Shuheng didn’t care much about the rest, but the word “die” pierced through her ears. The fear of death struck a heavy blow to her heart, instantly chasing away all traces of drowsiness.

“Die… die…” Shen Shuheng repeated the word. She was now completely awake.

She had transmigrated into this book a month ago. During this past month, she had worked herself to the bone practicing the sword and cultivating, hoping to rely on her own power to survive and change her tragic ending. Unfortunately, her character truly lived up to her status as an eighteenth-tier cannon fodder; her talent was abysmal. Although she possessed all five elemental roots and they were all “Heavenly Roots,” in today’s cultivation world where spiritual energy is thin, they were equivalent to “Trash Roots.”

She recalled her first day here, when she was prepared to do great things in the world of cultivators, vowing to cultivate hard every day and out-work the protagonists! While they fell in love, she would cultivate. She would enter meditation and absorb spiritual energy. The energy would surge into her body… and then leak right back out. The spiritual energy came fast and left even faster, just like a tornado.

For the past month, she had cultivated bitterly every single day without sleep. Last night, she had finally succumbed to exhaustion and fallen asleep.

“Host, hurry up! Stop the Heroine from becoming a disciple!” the System urged again.

Shen Shuheng frantically grabbed the clothes by her bed and threw them on. While dressing, she listened to the System’s instructions: “According to my analysis of the original book, you need to act out a ‘paranoid obsessive’ persona in front of your Master. You must be mad for her, crazy for her, and willing to smash your head against a wall for her!”

“Only by doing this can you prevent her from blackening in the future, losing faith in all things, and going on a world-destroying killing spree.”

“At the same time, you can farm hatred points from the Male Lead, Female Lead, and supporting males. The higher the hatred points, the better the rewards you receive, which will compensate for your lack of natural talent.”

The heavy tolling of a bell echoed throughout the entire sect. Once the bell rang, it meant the apprenticeship ceremony had begun.

A silver-white longsword unsheathed itself. The sword-light shimmered, reflecting against the snowy white of the world, creating a piercing cold radiance. Shen Shuheng leaped onto the sword and streaked across the sky like a shooting star; from a distance, one could only see a trail of flowing light.

The apprenticeship phase had already begun. She had to stop her Master from taking the Heroine as a disciple; the lives of both Master and Disciple depended on it.

Whenever she thought of the original plot, Shen Shuheng felt a surge of anger. The book was titled The Immortal Lord Falls for Me: No Escape Even with Wings. It was essentially a melodramatic, “dog-blood” love story between the Male and Female Leads. He pursued, she fled, and he would say: “My heart only has room for you, not her.”

Thinking of these ridiculous plotlines, Shen Shuheng rolled her eyes. The Male Lead was Feng Ya, an Elder of the Huichun Peak in the Yuheng Sect. As an Alchemist, it was extremely difficult for him to advance his cultivation, and his combat power was low. Most Alchemists chose a powerful Sword Cultivator to be their Dao Companion, using dual cultivation to increase their speed.

Feng Ya had refined a “Love Curse Pill” and tricked Fu Xueke into eating it. After taking the pill, Fu Xueke believed she had fallen in love with him and became his Dao Companion. Later, this scumbag cheated on Fu Xueke with her young disciple, the Heroine Xiao Xiaoxiao. He would constantly hurt Fu Xueke just to prove to the Heroine that “his heart only had her, not the other.”

Later, the Male and Female Leads were trapped in a secret realm due to their own greed. To save them, Fu Xueke fell into a state of demonic possession (blackening), yet they returned her kindness with enmity, teaming up with the so-called “Orthodox Sects” to execute her.

To save her Master, Shen Shuheng had not hesitated to self-detonate to buy her a slim chance of survival. After Fu Xueke learned that her disciple had died and her soul had dissipated for her sake, she blackened completely. After falling into the demonic path, she slaughtered everyone in her way, only to ultimately die under the swords of the Male and Female Leads.

When reading the book, Shen Shuheng had loved Fu Xueke—a classic “beautiful, strong, and tragic” character. Conversely, she found the Male and Female Leads utterly disgusting.

A dense crowd of people surrounded the Jade Platform, making it impassable. These were all inner sect disciples; those who already had masters were there to watch the fun, while those without were there to watch others join a lineage, dreaming of their own futures.

Shen Shuheng controlled her sword and dived toward the Jade Platform, drawing everyone’s attention—most of which were glares filled with malice. She completely ignored the contemptuous looks directed at her and leaped off her sword like an elegant white crane.

With one glance, she spotted Fu Xueke—her Master.

Her Master wore a snow-white Daoist robe. As the clear breeze brushed past, the white fabric fluttered; from a distance, she looked like the ethereal mist atop a silent, snowy mountain peak.

Shen Shuheng dazed out for a moment, her heart screaming: Too beautiful! She truly lives up to being my favorite character! Master must remain beautiful and solitary!

She was so immersed in her Master’s beauty that she didn’t even notice her Master walking toward her until she was standing right beside her.

Where did Master go? A moment ago, Master was standing over there, and now she was gone. Shen Shuheng instinctively turned her head to look in another direction.

Something cool and smooth brushed against her cheek, and the faint, rich fragrance of cold plum blossoms drifted into her nose as a strand of black hair swept across her face.

She looked closely—her Master was standing right next to her, quietly gazing at her.

Shen Shuheng’s eyes met her Master’s. She saw them clearly: a pair of eyes with distinct black and white, like black obsidian dipped in snow, shimmering with an icy chill.

Truly a cold beauty. She finally understood what the book meant by “skin like ice and snow, bones like fine jade.” Her Master was exactly that.

“Host, beauty is a distraction! Quickly do the task! Act like a paranoid obsessive and stop her from taking a disciple!” The “lovestruck” look on the Host’s face caused the System deep disdain.

Upon receiving the System’s signal, Shen Shuheng immediately entered her role. She began her performance with her somewhat clumsy acting skills. To look more like a “paranoid obsessive,” the System gave her eye drops mixed with chili water; after use, her eyes were guaranteed to turn blood-red.

“Master… can you be A-Heng’s Master alone?” Shen Shuheng looked up, a faint red flush spreading from the corners of her eyes. A burning, stinging pain constantly radiated from her eyes, and tears began to secrete and overflow uncontrollably.

Fu Xueke did not answer her. She simply raised her hand and, with a fingertip, lightly touched the corner of the girl’s eye before carefully pulling away. A crystalline teardrop stood upon the Master’s slender fingertip. She lowered her head to stare at the tear.

Shen Shuheng’s eyes, which were originally as clear as spring water, were now filled with a web-like pattern of red bloodvessels.

“What is this? You’ve actually started crying?” Fu Xueke saw that her disciple’s round, apricot-like eyes were completely red, with two large dark circles underneath. She looked like a wronged little animal.

The Master then used the back of her hand to wipe away the tear overflowing from the other eye. The cool sensation left by the back of her hand remained on the girl’s cheek, but Shen Shuheng’s heart felt as though it had been scorched.

The tips of Shen Shuheng’s fair ears turned red. The “red eye drops” given by the System were definitely chili water; the spice made her tears flow incessantly. She stared blankly at her Master’s hand, wanting to speak, but not knowing what to say.

“Did you not sleep well last night? You look like a panda.” Her Master’s voice was cold and clear, like snow-melt flowing over mountain stones, tinkling and pleasant to the ear. Fu Xueke’s expression was as calm as a lake; Shen Shuheng could find no trace of emotional fluctuation. She didn’t seem to care.

“This disciple knows she is dull-witted, so I have cultivated day and night, only praying that Master would look at me more often.” Shen Shuheng felt she had delivered this line well, perfectly portraying a disciple who was infatuated with her Master.

She saw that her Master’s eyes finally showed a flicker of emotion. Even her fingers twitched slightly before she placed her palm on Shen Shuheng’s head and ruffled it a few times.

“Master’s eyes can only have room for this disciple! A-Heng will cultivate hard and never bring shame to Master!” Shen Shuheng hurried to strike while the iron was hot.

“I beg you, do not take any more disciples. If there is ever another disciple, A-Heng will use… methods to ensure that Master can only be my Master alone!” She grabbed her Master’s sleeve, a look of “madness” on her face.

Sect Leader Xu Wu, who had been watching from the side for a long time, finally couldn’t take it anymore. “Is this a place for you to behave wildly?! Get down from there this instant! Usually, your Martial Uncles tolerate you because of your ‘muddled’ state, but today you dare to cause such a scene!”

“Master is right. Everyone puts up with you because you’re a fool. Usually, we show you much restraint, yet you show no gratitude! Get down!” said a round-faced male disciple whom the Sect Leader had just accepted.

Hearing the two of them echoing each other, Shen Shuheng gave a cold laugh and replied, “So, the ‘restraint’ the Martial Uncles show me involves letting their disciples steal my cultivation resources and allowing them to bully me for their own amusement?”

“What wonderful ‘Good Martial Uncles’ you truly are.” She mocked them sarcastically. The System had said that as long as she farmed hatred points from the leads and supporting males, there would be rewards. It just so happened that the Sect Leader was the second Male Lead.

These people dared to call her a “fool” right to her face in front of her Master, their words filled with disdain and contempt. Scene after scene of her being bullied flashed before her eyes. Shen Shuheng involuntarily clenched her fists, glaring at them intently.

“Presumptuous!” Sect Leader Xu Wu waved his sleeve, releasing the pressure (aura) of the Peak Nascent Soul stage to crush Shen Shuheng. In his eyes, Shen Shuheng was nothing more than an ant. How dare an ant look directly at him, let alone glare at him?

However, before the smug look could bloom on his face, a pressure far more powerful than his own struck him. It was as if thousands of pounds of force were hitting every part of his body. His legs could not support him, and he fell to his knees, vomiting a mouthful of fresh blood. The bright red blood flowed across the green jade platform, and the salty, metallic taste of iron filled his mouth. His head hung low; the more he tried to lift it, the harder the force pressed against his neck. He was terrified that if he lifted it further, his neck would snap.

He could only remain there with his head lowered and his knees on the ground.

“The etiquette of the Sect Leader Martial Uncle’s apology to his Martial Niece is a bit too grand. I only want the Martial Uncles to return the resources their disciples stole from me.”

“Hmm, plus interest. After all, it’s been so many years; it’s inevitable that prices have risen. Considering we are members of the same sect, instead of the original twenty times interest, I’ll only charge fifteen times.”

Shen Shuheng stood before the Sect Leader. Her words made the Sect Leader’s blood boil with rage, yet he couldn’t get up.

“You…” The Sect Leader wanted to curse at her, but the pressure on him grew heavier and heavier. Fu Xueke had been in secluded meditation for over ten years; he hadn’t expected her cultivation to have reached the Deity Transformation stage. He trembled all over in fear.

“Those who took my disciple’s things must return them by tomorrow according to the interest,” Fu Xueke stated. She had been in seclusion all these years and had only come out yesterday. Only then did she learn how these people had treated her disciple in her absence.

She would personally take back everything for her disciple, one by one!