After Letting Go, Her Regret Remains - Chapter 7

Shang Li had nowhere to turn for answers, leaving her at the mercy of churning suspicions and doubts that tore her apart again and again, only to stitch her back together each time.

Tears fell drop by drop onto the paper, splattering and blurring the black ink into fuzzy, indistinct marks.

Shang Li turned to a fresh page and mechanically wrote the same words over and over:

Meng Yuan will always love Shang Li.
Meng Yuan and Shang Li will be together forever and ever.

Once, these were the words Meng Yuan had tirelessly repeated to her, time and again.

But now, they had become a tightening curse clamped firmly around her head. Over the years, the slightest thought of escape would trigger its painful grip.

Yet, the one reciting this curse was none other than herself.

She was the one who couldn’t let go, the one who still chose to believe in Meng Yuan.

But Meng Yuan, you taught me how to love you, how to love myself yet you never taught me how to give up on you.

Meng Yuan, how do I let you go?

–

Ding-dong!

Almost the instant the WeChat notification sounded, her phone was unlocked. But the moment she saw the message, the flicker of hope in her chest plummeted just as quickly.

Shang Li listlessly scrolled through her phone screen, unable to hide her disappointment.

Since their last argument, the two of them had wordlessly and mutually slipped into a cold war.

Argument? Cold war?

The two words strung together made Shang Li pause for a moment, suddenly struck by how unfamiliar they felt.

In the past, they rarely argued.

And even when they did, it never lasted through the night. They would face each other, look into one another’s eyes, lay bare their hearts, and carefully mend the fractures between them, strand by strand, layer by layer fearful that any hidden resentment might sneak in and steal their love away.

But at some point, that feeling had become hers alone.

At first, she tried to follow Meng Yuan’s example, lowering her guard as much as possible, striving to communicate, searching for ways to resolve things.

Over time, however, she realized that her efforts alone were not enough to sustain them. It was like a mantis trying to stop a chariot futile and overestimating her own strength.

All she could do was watch helplessly as time mercilessly stole their love bit by bit, leaving her powerless to stop it.

So, to avoid conflict, she learned to endure, to yield as if by doing so, she could hold onto the little that remained of their relationship.

But that night, why hadn’t she been able to hold back?

A week had passed, and Shang Li’s cold was mostly gone, but a suffocating weight still pressed in her chest, growing heavier by the day. It left her tossing and turning through sleepless nights, unable to find rest.

She couldn’t lie to herself and pretend it was just a lingering effect of the cold.

No matter how hard she tried to block out news of Meng Yuan, information about her flooded in from all sides, impossible to avoid.

As a popular film star, a darling of the spotlight, it was no exaggeration to say that even the slightest move from Meng Yuan drew widespread attention. She was a regular on Weibo’s hot search lists and a reliable source of material for countless marketing accounts.

The whole world had access to Meng Yuan’s updates yet Shang Li, as Meng Yuan’s partner, had to learn of her whereabouts through others.

“Shang Li, are you home right now?”

When Kou Jia’s call came through, Shang Li’s heart lifted slightly, her nerves instinctively tensing. “Yes, I’m home. What’s wrong?”

Kou Jia replied, “Meng Yuan left a document at your place.”

“No problem, I’ll bring it over right away.” After clarifying the specific appearance and location of the document, Shang Li responded.

“No rush, no rush. Sister Meng Yuan is still recording a show right now,” Kou Jia said. “We won’t head to the set until after five.”

Shang Li hummed in acknowledgment. Before hanging up, she couldn’t resist asking, “What kind of show is it?”

“Sister Meng Yuan didn’t tell you.” The other end of the line fell into an awkward silence. Kou Jia snapped to attention and quickly corrected herself, “Oh, this program was arranged last-minute to promote the upcoming movie.”

Shang Li nodded silently, suppressing the faint bitterness in her throat. Just as she was about to speak, she heard a loud exclamation from the other side, “Teacher Meng, is your throat okay? Do you need to take a break before continuing?”

She wanted to listen more closely, but the noise was quickly drowned out by other chaotic sounds. Giving up, she said to Kou Jia, “Alright, I understand. I’ll bring it over later.”

“Okay, thank you, Sister Shang Li.”

“You’re welcome.”

–

“Xiao Li, it’s so rare to see you these days. Why don’t you?”

“Here to see Meng Yuan again? You’re out of luck, she’s not here right now.”

“Teacher Meng will be here soon. Would you like to wait over here for a bit?”

The set hadn’t started work yet, and the atmosphere was lively. Shang Li exchanged greetings with everyone before being led to Meng Yuan’s private dressing room.

Most people present were old acquaintances of Meng Yuan’s, and they all tacitly understood the nature of her relationship with Shang Li.

During the years Meng Yuan skyrocketed to fame, she brought Shang Li along everywhere. Those who didn’t know better might have mistaken Shang Li for her part-time assistant.

But in the entertainment industry, everyone was sharp-witted. It didn’t take long for them to notice something unusual about the two.

The problem was Meng Yuan’s unrestrained nature, she had no concept of restraint.

Not only did she cling to Shang Li intimately in private, but she also never bothered to hide their relationship in public. At times, she even seemed eager to shout it from the rooftops.

If not for the company’s extensive efforts to manage the situation, it would have likely become public knowledge long ago. For Meng Yuan’s budding career, that would have been nothing but detrimental.

Shang Li lived in constant fear, terrified that Meng Yuan would suffer even the slightest harm. After repeated warnings and pleas, she finally managed to rein Meng Yuan in a little.

But Meng Yuan often resented it.

“Sister, don’t you know? People in the entertainment industry are experts at judging others and acting accordingly. If I don’t make my stance clear, who knows how they might mistreat or cold-shoulder you!”

“I’m always by your side, who would dare mistreat me? You’re just worrying over nothing.”

“Hmph, even so, can’t I be in a relationship?” Meng Yuan would pout like a child. “I’m a serious actress, not an idol. Why can’t I…”

Shang Li would patiently explain the importance of career stability, but Meng Yuan always interpreted her words differently.

“I get it now. It’s because I’m not strong enough yet, so I can’t do whatever I want!” Meng Yuan would say with a serious expression, only to break into a radiant smile a second later. Spinning around gleefully, she’d pull Shang Li into a tight embrace. “Once I stand high enough, one day I’ll be able to hold your hand openly, just like this.”

As she spoke, she’d intertwine their fingers tightly.

“And mwah kiss you like this and marry you, travel the world for our honeymoon give all my time to you, sister…”

My reverie was shattered by Meng Yuan’s voice drawing nearer, and the smile on my lips froze instantly.

Shang Li licked her lips, stood up, and glanced toward the dressing room door. Suddenly, her hands and feet felt awkwardly out of place, and a wave of nervousness washed over her, leaving her unsure how to face Meng Yuan next.

Truthfully, she could have left right after delivering the documents. She didn’t understand why she had waited until now.

Amidst the chaotic footsteps, the sound of Meng Yuan’s high heels stood out distinctly, rhythmic and sharp, each step seeming to tread directly on her heart.

Shang Li clenched her fingers, rubbing them incessantly, her entire body involuntarily tensing up. Anticipation gave way to unease, and her warm blood seemed to simmer with rising intensity.

But in the very next moment, a clear, sweet voice descended like a bucket of cold water, drenching her to the bone and chilling her to the core.

“Senior sister, I’m so thrilled! I never expected you to come help me despite your busy schedule. With you on board, the movie’s box office is practically guaranteed.”

“Just a cameo appearance, it’s no big deal.”

“Then, when the movie releases, could you help promote it a bit more? Given our years of deep friendship, I’m sure you wouldn’t have the heart to refuse me, right?”

Her nails dug deeply into her palms, the sharp sting of pain piercing through, yet it was nothing compared to the heart-wrenching sound of Meng Yuan’s light laughter, drifting through the door and into her ears.

Meng Yuan, Yu Sheng.

Shang Li repeated the two names silently, then suddenly let out a bitter laugh.

“Darling, Yu Sheng is just a junior from my school. There’s nothing between us, you have to believe me!”

“Is that so? But I can’t help feeling the way she looks at you.”

“Oh! So, you’re jealous, aren’t you? Don’t deny it, I can already smell the sourness. Hey, don’t be mad! I’ll keep my distance from her right away and make sure she gives up any ideas!”

Then what’s happening now?

As their voices drew closer, Shang Li felt a sudden dizziness, her heart pounding so fiercely it seemed about to leap out of her throat. For some reason, her first instinct was to find a place to hide. She didn’t even have the courage to step out and confront them cowardly and timid.

But in the wide-open dressing room, there was nowhere to conceal herself.

If only she hadn’t waited so long.

Support After Letting Go, Her Regret Remains